“I could use some clothes,” he said to her. “Real clothes not gym shorts.”
It hadn’t taken Jed long to figure out Chaney’s game plan. She knew he wouldn’t venture far in shorts, so that’s all she put in the room.
He held her mutinous stare. Chaney gave in first. She stood and left the room. Jed hoped she had gone to get what he asked. He really didn’t want to parade around the house in a towel, but as antsy as he had become, he would if it came to that.
He listened to her soft tread on the stairway and then overhead as he made his way to the chair she had occupied a few moments earlier. He heard drawers open and close and her steps again overhead. Chaney walked back into the room carrying a small pile of clothes.
“Just set them on the bed,” he told her. When she started to speak, he interrupted her. “I can manage.”
“Your bandage is wet. It needs to be changed.” Chaney walked toward him.
“Martha can do it,” he told her. This time it wasn’t mutiny in her eyes it was pain. Jed hated causing her pain, but every time Chaney had changed the dressing, her touch had set him on fire and his brain disconnected. Today he needed all his strength and his wits about him. There were things he needed to do. He couldn’t afford the distraction.
Chaney turned and walked to the door.
“I’ll tell Martha to fix your tray.”
“No tray,” he said standing and moving toward the clothes on the bed. “I’ll come to the kitchen.”
Jed didn’t need to turn around to know Chaney was frustrated. He heard the slow hiss of exasperation from between her teeth. He lifted the shirt from the pile and shook it out.
“Take your medicine.”
He nodded so she could have the satisfaction of the last word. The door clicked shut.
Knowing it wouldn’t be long before Martha knocked Jed dropped the shirt and decided to put his pants on first. He could take the medicine later. He pulled the zipper up as a tap sounded at the door. “Come in,” he called and sat heavily on the bed. He felt better, but in the past fifteen minutes, he had exerted more energy than in the past week.
Martha entered carrying a cup of coffee. After silently handing it to him, she went to the bathroom and brought back the supplies for his shoulder. She set them on the table then started stripping tape from Jed’s shoulder.
“Your wife should be doing this.”
“Yes, but if she did it this morning, I might never leave this room.” When Martha stopped pulling the tape, he glanced up at her. From the set of her face, he knew she was confused.
“That’s not what you told her,” Martha accused.
“No.” He looked away. She resumed removing tape but without as much gusto this time. “The physical part of our relationship has never been the problem, Martha. There are other aspects that need to be dealt with.”
“She thinks you’re leaving,” Martha said quietly lifting the damp gauze from his wound.
“She didn’t say anything to try and stop me.”
Martha placed fresh gauze and tape over the stitches on his shoulder. When she finished she stepped back.
Jed glanced up to find Mother Fury glaring at him. He almost grinned but decided he had better not push her that far.
“So you are?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You’re not?”
“Didn’t say that either,” he answered as he stood and lifted the shirt from the bed. He slipped it over his stiff arm and shoulder then reached back to catch the other sleeve.
“Jedidiah Sampson, you better explain,” Martha demanded.
Jed looked at the housekeeper who had played mother hen to Chaney and Belle for so many years. He wanted to put her mind at ease but he couldn’t. There were too many variables at the moment, the biggest one being Chaney.
“All I can say is hopefully by tonight you’ll know one way or the other. Now,” he said leaning close and placing a kiss on her furrowed forehead. When he looked down at her face this time, her expression had softened. “How about that breakfast, beautiful? I’ve got a lot of business to take care of today.”
The housekeeper smiled. “You always were a sweet talker,” she said as she walked out of the room.
When he finished snapping his shirt Jed picked up the prescription bottles on the bedside table. He popped the tops and tipped two pills from each bottle. Three he swallowed and three he put in his shirt pocket for later. He didn’t like having to take them, but he knew how sick he had been. A relapse did not fit into his plans.
***
Chaney paced the front porch phone in hand.
“Don’t worry, Chaney. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“How can you say that?” she yelled into the phone. “He left before nine this morning and isn’t home yet. I should never have let him leave. He shouldn’t be driving. He probably fell asleep at the wheel and ran off the road.”
“Calm down, girl,” Steve told her. “He slept at my office for over an hour this afternoon. Took his medicine before that.”
“Why was he at your office?” Chaney asked. Fear that she already knew shivered up her spine and sent a chill throughout her body the Colorado heat couldn’t dispel.
“I can’t say.”
His reply was reluctant and Chaney felt her heart clench. “It’s okay, Steve. I guess I should have expected this.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, Chaney.”
“No jumping needed, Steve. Thanks, I’ll talk to you later.”
Looking out toward the road she saw a plume of dust kick up as a car, Jed’s car, pulled onto the drive. She watched as it wound down toward the old barn. It stopped there and Jed climbed out.
He looked okay. Hell, he looked great to her. His determined stride was back in place and she watched him disappear behind the barn door. Chaney knew the moment he left her line of sight she couldn’t let him leave her life without a fight.
No way, she thought tossing the phone onto the swing and trotting down the porch steps. “Not this time. Jed Sampson wants to leave me; he has to tell me to my face.”
Though the barn that held his workshop was a good distance from the main house, Chaney covered it in record time. She slowed her pace as she reached his car. Looking in the windows, she saw boxes in the backseat. Her determination got sidetracked by the reality staring her in the face.
That’s right, give up. He’s not worth fighting for. He doesn’t love you.
“Yes he does,” she said kicking the tire of his car. “He said so. He’s proved it.” When she defended him to her own subconscious, she realized why Jed was leaving. He still didn’t know she loved him.
Oh, she’d taken care of him, nursed him, and even snuck in bed with him after he had gone to sleep to be close to him. But, she had continually shied away from actually saying the words to him. Well, no more. She stalked to the door and yanked it open.
A sense of déjà-vu surrounded her for a moment as the intense change from sunlight to darkened interior stole her sight. She could almost feel Jed making love to her again as he had the day after their marriage. Desire had a flush raising her body temperature even more than the jog down to the barn had done. Then she heard the scrape of something on the floor and turned toward the workbench he’d fashioned against the west wall.
“Jed?” she called softly.
“Yeah?”
One word wasn’t much to go on, but he sounded okay. A little tired maybe but okay. She stepped closer. He sat on a stool by the workbench.
“You’ve had a long day. I was starting to worry.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Did his throat hurt again? Was that why he was using only single words, she wondered.
Maybe he just wants to know why you were worried.
Chaney’s conscience was getting on her nerves, mostly because it made sense. “Because you’ve been very sick and are on medication. You could have been in an accident.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to cause trouble.”
Way to go, Chaney. Now that’s a vow of love if ever I heard one.
Geez, she said her hands curling into fists at her sides. She released a sigh and opened her fists, determined to remain calm.
“I saw the car. You going somewhere?” she asked stalling, wondering if she had the nerve to lay her heart on the line.
Why not? He could accept it. Or not. If you don’t try, you’ll definitely lose him.
“Maybe,” he answered her.
The single word flickered with hope. Chaney stepped closer. He fingered a cloth covering something on the worktable. “What’s that?”
His fingers hesitated then pinched the corner of the fabric and pulled it away.
Chaney stared momentarily speechless.
“Jed,” her voice an awed whisper as she walked up beside him. “It’s beautiful.”
She fingered the polished surface amazed as she always was with the beauty he could create.
“It’s for the baby. I wanted her to know I love her even if . . .”
Chaney looked over at him. He focused on the cradle refusing to look at her. “If what?”
Jed stood and took a few steps away. Chaney worried he wouldn’t answer her question. She wasn’t surprised when he didn’t.
“Dale has agreed to go partners with me on the ranch.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Chaney watched him rub his hand over his hair in the well-known nervous gesture. He definitely had more to say so she waited.
“And he’s talking about selling me the house.”
Chaney hid a smile by ducking her head. She had been talking to Dale about trading ranches. Though she had fought hard to keep this ranch, she feared there were too many bad memories attached to it now. Too many broken dreams. Even if Dale decided not to trade, but to partner with Jed instead, at least Jed would be close by. That would give them a chance to work things out.
“I can’t live like this anymore, Chaney,” Jed said, interrupting her thoughts of a future.
“Like what, exactly?” Chaney asked. She had to be sure he was aiming for the same outcome.
“Not knowing where I stand day to day. You’ve got your ranch, free and clear. You don’t need me anymore.”
“Need is such an ambiguous word.” She took a step toward him.
“Chaney,” Jed warned, his voice hoarse.
Chaney smiled. It seemed he wasn’t as ready to leave, as he wanted her to believe. “Jed,” she said just as slowly, taking several more steps toward him.
“What do you need?” she asked softly as she stopped an inch away from him.
“I--” he cleared his throat.
Chaney wondered if he was getting sick again, but he didn’t start coughing so she didn’t push. She looked up into his eyes and understood how hard it was for him to tell her. Then she realized making him do so felt wrong. The past weeks he had always been the one offering an olive branch. It was her turn to step up and risk everything because the prize at the end of this race was worth so much more than any blue ribbon she had ever won.
“How about I tell you what I think you need,” she said. Reaching out her hand, she slipped it under the sling holding his left arm and placed it over his heart. His eyes turned molten and she knew desire was there, but would he believe her words. “You need a fresh start.”
His eyes closed and his shoulders lost their starch. The slight movement confirmed what Chaney had only dared to dream.
“You need someone to love you as much as you love them.” Under her hand, she felt his breathing increase. “Jed, look at me.”
Chaney waited the agonizingly long moments until his blue eyes focused on her.
“I love you, Jed Sampson.” She could see a shadow of doubt linger in his eyes. Well, their relationship had never been easy before. Why start now? “I don’t blame you for doubting it. I’ve done my best to prove the opposite, but it’s true. I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped.”
His expression as he held her gaze didn’t tell her much. When he stroked down her cheek with his right hand hope started to bloom.
“You love me.”
“Yes,” she said, hoping against hope he would believe her.
“Enough to leave your ranch?” he asked, his hand cupped her neck, his thumb stroking against her pulse point.
Chaney reached up and lightly touched his face with her fingers. It would hurt to leave, no doubt about that. Now that she knew her father had wanted her to have the ranch, but also love, it would really hurt. But if it was love or the ranch, she had to let Jed know she chose love. “If I have to.”
***
Jed couldn’t stop the smile her answer brought to his face. “As hard as that should be for me to believe, I think I do. But . . .”
He shouldn’t enjoy the sudden racing of her pulse beneath his thumb knowing it was probably fear fueling it. Hoping he could make her pulse race even faster with his reply eased the guilt his little pause gave him.
“But?” She asked, her fingers playing with the curls at the back of his neck now.
Her fingers were making it hard to remember his train of thought. He blinked to refocus. “But, I don’t think you should.”
“What? Wait,” she said, then started to pull back out of his hold. “Never mind, I understand. I took too long, pushed you away one too many times. You don’t trust me. I get it. I don’t blame you. I’ll just--”
“Chaney, hush,” he said. Jed couldn’t believe how long she rambled on even though he hadn’t allowed her to break his hold on her. When she stopped talking but kept her gaze down, he couldn’t take it anymore.
“That’s not what I meant. True, you’ve put me through my paces the past few weeks,” he said and was relieved when she lifted her head a little. “I won’t deny I’ve doubted you care, forget considering love a possibility. Then while I was resting in Steve’s office today, I realized something.
“The fact that you did give me such a hard time, but never quite let go might mean the opposite of what I thought. If we didn’t love each other, why did it bother us both so much when we would fight?”
She smiled and leaned against him. “I don’t know, why?”
Jed returned the smile. “Well, the only thing I could come up with was we love each other, but we’re too damned proud to admit it. If that’s the case--”
“That’s the case,” she said.
“Then I think we should stay here and make new memories here with our girls.”
“Really?” she asked.
Jed kissed her in reply. When he broke the kiss, he realized that for the first time since losing his parents so long ago, he was home. It was the only explanation for the unbelievable sense of peace settling over him. He couldn’t stop smiling.
“Really,” he said, placing a quick kiss on her lips for emphasis. “We live here, but you run your ranch and I’ll help Dale with his.”
He had thought that compromise would make her happy. The look in her eyes said she had a different idea. He really didn’t want her to feel she had to give up her father’s ranch after all they had been through to keep it. Not to mention the fact that now she knew her father had believed in her ability to run it. Then he noticed the impish twist to her lips. Something was definitely up, but he relaxed knowing that grin was positive, not negative.
“How about we combine them and then we won’t have to worry about competing against each other?”
God, he loved this woman. “I think that can be arranged.”
All right, the business part was settled. He even believed she loved him, especially since she was willing to give up the ranch. However, having survived a bad marriage once, he had to be certain she understood him.
“You do understand that means we will be working together as well as living together and raising the children, right?”
“It would be kind of strange if we weren’t living together,” she said with a laugh.
Jed smiled but then gazed det
erminedly into her eyes. “I mean it, Chaney. It won’t be easy. Living together is hard enough. Granted, loving each other helps, but it’s still not a Sunday picnic; and kids, well, to say we were brought up in different ways is putting it mildly. There will be times when we disagree about how we should handle things with the girls.
“Then when we add working together on top of all that,” he finally stopped. He took a deep breath and released it. In silence, Chaney held his gaze through it all. She didn’t interrupt, just focused on him, and waited. “I need to know you’re sure about it. Because this time I want it all. The good and bad, now and forever, it’s all or nothing. I can’t accept anything else.”
Chaney smiled up at him. When his eyes changed from happy and passionate to serious, all her fears came rushing back. As he spoke, she saw another glimpse of the lonely Jed she had met so many years ago. The sad but determined Jed who would fight for anyone he cared about, but never ask anything in return. He had finally learned to ask. That fact had her feeling honored as well as loved. God, she loved this man.
Standing on tiptoe, she snaked her arm around his neck, pulling his head down so her lips were against his ear. She smiled then whispered, “I dare you to try and get rid of me.”
He turned his head and took her mouth in a toe-curling kiss. Hmmm, she loved his kisses.
When they broke apart, she held his gaze.
Jed grinned. “That’s one dare I don’t plan on taking. In fact, I think I’ll do everything I can to keep you right here.”
The End
Author’s Note
***
Dear Reader,
***
I hope you enjoyed the ride with Jed Sampson and Chaney McBride through A Daring Proposal. I truly enjoyed writing their adventure under the Colorado sky. The next story in the Colorado Dreams and Desires series will be out in January of 2014. Although A Daring Proposal took place in the wide open spaces of Colorado, Gathering Clouds will be in the city. Claire James will show you the constant struggle to keep her restaurant open, while Theo DeLeon tries to adjust to life outside of prison.
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