by Cree Walker
I decided to go outside. I walked around the large yard remembering every little detail about my happiness here, very little had changed about the house on the outside except for the quickly melting patches of snow hidden in the shadows of the house and woods. When I had been here summer was well on her way. Finally I found myself in the backyard staring at what looked like the remainder of a forest after a fire. Black twisted ten foot stalks jutting straight up throughout the still yellow grass of the lawn. Huge black ravens cawed and pecked at the grass between the rows.
“They were sunflowers.”
I jumped and spun on the voice from the porch. Despite the chill in the air and the melting snow, Kyle stood on the back deck in a tee-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts and flip flops, looking as laid back and casual as always.
“You scared me.” I all but whispered, my attention returning to the forest of dead sunflowers.
“He knew they were your favorite,” Kyle’s voice shook a little. “He and I planted them. He made me promise to replant them for you every year… if he wasn’t around to do it.” Kyle cleared his throat but didn’t continue. I didn’t even realize he went inside until the patio door closed behind him.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought to contain them, but soon they spilled over along with the last of my strength to hold back the emotion. Not wanting to be within ear shot of the house I stumbled slowly to the woodshed just on the far edge of the lawn and under yet another line of trees.
Silent sobs racked my body as I slid down the rough surface of the shed’s back wall. It was agony to feel this much pain for someone, someone I had known for a total of less than three weeks. We were never meant to be together. Why didn’t I just stay away from him to begin with? I had isolated myself for so long it should have been easy, and then maybe he’d still be alive and his pack and family would still have him.
Clearing away the last of my tears I rose on shaky legs. There was no rhyme or reason for all of this; it just happened, like a curse.
I didn’t want to go into the house so I decided to explore the woods. After walking for nearly an hour I came to the high banks of the brook that fed into the nearby lake. The brook never went dry, because it was spring fed from below. Right now it was high with the water from the melting snow and ice. It raged over the smooth rocks it had beaten down throughout the millennia, churning the cold black water as it eddied and boiled over them. There was no sound except the thrashing of water and no smell but its fertile banks. A tiny nudge from behind followed by the feel of static brushing my skin reminded me of Jack’s invisible nearness and intensions. I took a wide step back away from the banks steep edge. "I hate you, Jack!" I screamed as loud as I could through the pain in my closed throat. "You fucking left me!" I fumbled off the moonstone I had wrapped around my wrist as a bracelet and dropped it unceremoniously into the strongest part of the current.
A blur of movement passed me, diving directly into the shallow rapids of the cold brook below. At first I stood in bewildered shock; had that been a real person? I waited for him to surface, and when no one did, I followed the current back towards the lake, picking up my pace as I went. Its rapids slowed up ahead and its banks were less steep as it widened near the mouth.
Gage walked out of the water removing his cold wet tee-shirt in one fluid motion. He wiped a hand over his serious face and held up Jack's medallion for me to take. I reached out and he pulled his arm back so I had to come closer. He brought a cold hand up to my face and I leaned into his touch closing my eyes and wanting more.
"You're not alone." He pulled me into a cold hug, kissing the top of my head in a brotherly way. He started to back away but stopped, lowering his lips to mine in a kiss so gentle I didn’t pull away. He continued soft and slow, as if every movement was choreographed. I couldn’t get over how gentle it was, to think this man was physically strong enough to kill me with one good hit, but he kissed me as if I were made of spun sugar.
He pulled away suddenly and wiped his mouth with a shaking hand, like my lips were painted in poison. Swallowing hard he cleared his throat. "Shit." He backed away again. "I didn't mean to do that."
I slumped silently, feeling hurt and even more alone than I had only moments before. "What's wrong with me?" I whispered in confusion and pain.
Rather than answer me, he walked up the bank heading back towards the house.
Chapter Ten
I ached inside; I just wanted to be loved. I didn't want anything more and looking back through all the years until Jack, I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't be. Maybe if Jack had gotten to know me, instead of me just being some sort of impossible conquest, he wouldn't have loved me either. Nobody wants to be alone, but maybe some of us are destined for it anyway, life just isn't always fair.
Elder Coon had been right. What was I looking for, the perfect romance? That obviously wasn't my providence, so maybe my sacrifice to my family was? I just had to decide how big a sacrifice I was willing to give.
I walked into the house nearly an hour later and Sarah grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs to her room. "What did you do?" She demanded.
"Nothing." I answered automatically.
"That Gage guy came in here all hot and bothered."
"What do you mean?" I asked, a little worried he had said something.
"He walked in soaking wet and half naked, and then he threw Jersey over his shoulder with one hand and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and a deck of cards with the other, now they are up in her room."
I listened carefully and I heard very faintly the sounds of their laughter coming from her room across the hall. I stiffened and clenched my jaw shut, my teeth grinding together in a high-pitched screech. I counted to twenty before answering Sarah, "I wonder what the cards are for?"
"Don't give me that." She pushed past me into her room.
I shrugged and felt a familiar mask of cold detachment slide over me.
Sarah looked at me closely, "Don't pull that hide and seek shit with me, Sugar. I know you're still in there."
I smiled, "Whatever, it’s no big deal."
I turned and opened the door to leave when that all too familiar feeling of static crawled over my skin like a thousand spiders. I laughed softly, “Go away Jack." The bookshelf in the hall tilted and crashed to the floor near my feet. I swung out and connected with an earsplitting strike where his face would be.
Robert who had been standing in the hall listening to Sarah and my conversation cocked his head like a curious bird and looked at the empty space I had just fired a punch at. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" He was looking at the heavy bookshelf as if I had done something to make it fall.
Gage appeared out of nowhere stinking of whiskey and perfume. He grabbed my arm and pushed me towards the stairs but without a sound, Robert’s hand whipped out and grabbed him.
"I'm talking with Sugar right now, boy. Why don't you go back to your little bitten fun toy and let the grown ups talk."
I smirked sarcastically at the Alpha but didn't say anything while the few spectators cleared out around us. "So Sugar, you ready to tell me what that was?" He smoothed the sleeve of my shirt and crossed his arms.
"That was my dead husband showing his disapproval that I’m still breathing, and when the Challenges come, kicking your ass is going to be a cake walk in the park compare to dealing with him." I gave him an empty smile and rolled my shoulders.
Without missing a beat he chuckled, "Honey I was hoping we could be friends.”
When I didn’t answer him he continued, "Well, now that your little friend is busy with the bitten wolf maybe you'll change your mind." He started towards the stairs and looked back at me over his shoulder. "I see now what all the fuss is about; few people would take a swing at Jack in life and just because he’s dead he isn’t any less terrifying. When you’re ready to talk I’ll be downstairs.”
I turned and went up to my room. I was walking through Gage's bedroom to get to my own w
hen I noticed Jersey wasn't with him and he tried following me into my room but I slammed the broken door in his face.
"Sugar?" He called from the opposite side, his voice muffled by the thick wood.
I watched the door to make sure he didn't break the handle on this one. He had boundary issues.
"Sugar, we need to talk," He whispered. "Sugar, we didn't do anything." He mumbled when I still didn't move to let him in.
I ripped the door open inches from his face. "Don't fucking lie to me." I tried to slam the door again but he stopped it and walked through closing it behind him softly.
"Get out!" I snarled.
"Sugar, please calm down."
"You son of a bitch, you have no idea what I've got going against me. All you have to do is sit back and wait. I could be doing this all for nothing; you might win the pack during the next Challenges."
He opened his mouth to speak but wasn't able to find the words to argue my predicament. You don't tell anyone to calm down when they are as mad as I was.
I tried pushing past him but he put a hand on my shoulder and shook his head. "We need to talk. I wasn't lying when I told you that you weren't in this alone."
I thought for a moment and came up with the meanest thing I could think of. "I'm going to talk to Robert."
Gage stiffened but didn't move to stop me. "Why?"
"He knows about the plan." I answered on my way out. “And I can’t stand being in the same room with you.”
Gage blocked my path with his thick arms crossed over his chest.
“Move or I’ll scream. I may not be able to muscle you around but I have a sneaking suspicion that Robert can.” I met his gaze but didn’t waver ’til he looked down and then stepped out of my way.
Chapter Eleven
Robert was waiting for me in his room so we could talk privately and I didn't bother knocking before going in. I had underestimated him on a large scale, so from now on I figured honesty was my best chance. "The Elders don't like what you’re doing." I said as a greeting.
He laughed softly from his bed and sat back against his headboard, crossing his ankles. "And they sent you to do what, exactly?"
"They haven't been totally honest with me so I'm guessing it’s one of a few different things."
"Which are?"
"They want me to kill you and take the fall, or report all your bad deeds back to them, ’til they have enough for a trial."
"What's the third thing?" He smiled knowingly.
I did the one thing I had been dying to do since meeting him and crawled onto the bed and straddled his lap, running my hands over his chest, while breathing in his scent. "They want me to seduce you." I whispered in his ear. When he didn't push me away I kissed the strong pulse in his throat and wiggled gently in his lap, pulling a handful of his hair to expose his throat fully. "They think you’ll either fall for me… or I’ll furnish you with an heir, or I’ll kill you. So which one am I doing right now?”
"I don't care." His voice scratched out and he pressed up against me lifting me to meet his mouth. "Do you want to know why I sent for you?" He smirked and tried to kiss me again but I backed away teasingly.
"Why?"
"Because it’s my birthday," He rolled on top of me and growled when I gasped. He slid a hand under my shirt and cupped one of my breasts, while nibbling the other gently through the cloth.
Suddenly I felt very out of my league and I wasn't sure I wanted this to happen, at least not yet. "What do you know about Jack?" I asked seriously.
He dropped his head onto my chest and sighed. "This is some of my best stuff here, and you want to talk shop, right now?"
"If you know something, yes."
"What if I tell you later?" He pressed against me again and kissed the skin just under my jaw, grabbing my ass with strong greedy hands.
I moaned and arched my back.
"It’s been that long huh?" He smirked. "Have you had anyone since Jack?" He asked without hesitation. Alpha’s are like that, they just expect questions to be answered.
I leveled my gaze with his, my hormone-fogged mind clearing suddenly. "I was never with Jack."
He stopped groping and pulled away slowly. "I thought he died because you were separated, that only happens with a Mated pair."
"I tend to be the exception to a lot of your rules." I sat up and straightened my clothes, while he watched me with a heart-stopping gaze.
“Your Council is corrupt.” He stated flatly.
I laughed and climbed off his bed, putting much needed space between us. “Let’s get one thing straight: they were never my Council, they made that very clear when they left me and my bitten pack for dead at the hands of a sociopath they created.”
He nodded in agreement as if he had already been privy to the story. For all I knew he had been. “Elder Coon is a dangerous woman Sugar, don’t underestimate her or you’ll end up dead just like Jack. If she’s willing to kill her own grandson, she won’t blink before sending the order out for your head.”
"She won't kill me until I promise her my soul and she's going to continue harassing me no matter what I do, so I might as well have a little fun between here and hell." I stretched slowly not wanting to provoke his prey drive, but teasing him just the same. I may not have trusted Elder Coon, but I didn’t trust Robert either. Despite this I turned my back on him to leave. It was an insult to an Alpha, but not quite a Challenge.
He leaned forward and hooked one of my belt loops, pulling me towards him. I didn’t react though my heart surged, my instinct telling me to run. I couldn’t see his face and this scared me the most. I couldn’t read him.
"Sugar, I can taste Gage on you, and I don't like tasting other men while I'm with a beautiful woman.” He released me slowly and tilted his head up to look at me when I turned to face him. “Tell your friend if he touches you again, I'll kill him." His voice was soft but the threat was cold as ice and I felt it numb me from the inside out.
"This is what's pissing off the Elders." I answered.
"I'm not breaking the rules, Sugar. Every female in the pack is mine until I say otherwise. You were raised as a human; things are different in our culture. If you were a good match I might allow it, but he is nowhere near your equal."
"And what is your pack without men?" I answered back. "It’s just a furry cheerleading squad for the full moon."
He chuckled at that and sat back again. "Sugar, if you're worried I'm using my position to abuse my pack, you've got it all wrong. I wouldn't have taken a pack if I wasn't ready to take a mate, but I want the best. I am a new Alpha, to an old pack. Jack was able to spoil you all by bending to your every whim because he was supported by a long dangerous reputation.”
Robert squinted up at my medallion and touched the metal gently examining it. “The only other person in this house that remembers what it was like when Jack first took over is Kyle. Why don't you go talk to Kyle about your perfect Alpha before you accuse me of abusing my position?" His voice warmed slightly with anger. "You think the reason the Council’s angry with me is because of this? The Elders can't control me... I didn't want Jack's old job as the executioner and they want someone like him, close to home that they can puppet around, and I'm sorry to say Sugar, but I think the chosen puppets are you and Gage. When it comes down to it, baby girl, they know you won't agree to be my mate. They know your fast temper and your black and white concept of right and wrong. They think you'll try to kill me and you're right about one thing, they don't care whether you take the fall or not. That's why they sent back up." He rubbed his hands together and bowed his head. "I'm sorry I'm not a nice guy, but I can't afford to be right now. Do you understand that much at least?" He met my eyes and his were almost pleading.
"I'll talk to Kyle, and see what he has to say." I answered before walking away.
"What I said about Gage touching you again, still stands." Robert the ultimate asshole Alpha had returned, his face again a hard mask of barely kept rage. "He can have the bitten,
to sate his appetite if it means he'll leave you alone."
"Her name is Jersey and you don’t barter people around, weirdo.”
"Unless she can have my children, she's useless to me."
"Are you looking for a brood mare or a wife?"
He smiled at that, "I'm looking for the future mother of my children. No less than what Jack wanted."
I swallowed hard, "Can I make one request?"
He nodded re-crossing his arms, "Just know that there is a price."
"Stop trying to force out Sarah and Kyle. They are my family and I love them and their little boy very much."
"Elder Coon is using them against me Sugar, and she’s already used them against you. Otherwise I don’t think you would have come back. Am I right?"
I felt stupid, like a dumb ox being led around by a bull ring. “I still want you to leave them alone.”
He smiled and nodded. "As you wish then, my love."
At those words I wondered exactly what he wanted in return, but I figured I'd deal with it later and I finally left his room my heart hammering out my worry and fear.
I went upstairs to my room to find Gage still waiting inside. When I didn’t say anything he stood and started pacing the room quietly. He definitely wasn’t one to start a conversation but his nervous meandering was driving me crazy.
“Yes Gage, can I help you with something?” I asked as I went through my shopping bags of clothes, putting them away one piece at a time.
He stopped pacing and watched me for a moment, “So, I guess you’ve decided to stay?”
I rolled my eyes at him, “That’s been the plan all along.”
“Then why does it feel as if you’re going to blow out of here at any given minute?” He sat down on my bed.
“Paranoia,” I answered folding a pair of socks.
“So, what did the Alpha have to say?”
“Not much more than we already knew.” I tossed the folded socks into the open dresser drawer one pair at a time.
