by S. R. Grey
And never stop.
As I’m checking out the stores, I spot a cute little bohemian donut shop named Karma Kreme.
“Ooh, let’s stop in and pick up some donuts,” I say to Lainey, pointing over to the pretty purple sign.
“Planning on dealing with your wedding problems with carbs and sugar loading?” Lainey asks.
I shrug as I turn into the Karma Kreme parking lot.
“It works for Benny, right?”
My sister replies, “True. And speaking of donut-loving Benjamin Perry, you better buy extra donuts if we go in here. Otherwise, he’ll scarf down all ours.”
I laugh and state, “Good call.”
I then remember that Brent’s parents and his stuffy Aunt Gertrude—along with her twin sons, Ricky and Ronny—are coming over to the lake house later tonight for a visit.
I share this with Lainey and add, “You know what? With that many people in the house, I think we better just go with a couple dozen to be safe.”
“Maybe make that three,” she says.
“I agree.”
After we’re parked, we go into the donut shop.
I am immediately enchanted, as it’s freaking adorable inside the place. Not only are there funky paintings adorning the eccentric aqua and yellow walls, but viney spider plants are spindling and trailing everywhere. Bob Marley is on in the background and people are seated on purple sofas. They’re chatting, reading, and working on their laptops.
Some, though, are simply eating donuts—which, by the way, look delicious.
The whole vibe just screams: this is a cool place to hang out.
“Wow, I love it here,” Lainey murmurs as we walk to the display cases in the rear of the store.
“It really is adorable,” I agree.
That adorability quotient almost shoots through the roof when we reach the display cases and discover the cutest specialty donuts…like, ever.
“Oh my God, Aubs,” Lainey cries out. “Look at those sweet donut puppies!”
“Aww, those are awesome. And check it out. They have kitten donuts too.”
“So sweet,” she coos. “There are bunnies in there too.”
“Damn, too bad Chloe’s not in town yet. She’d love those.”
Chloe has a pet rabbit named Jackie that she and Dylan dote on all the time. It’s a spoiled little thing. I can only imagine how pampered their child will be once she’s born.
I nudge Lainey and we continue to ooh and aah over all the specialty creations. There are so many interestingly shaped donuts, not just the cute animal ones. Some are designed and decorated to look like flowers and others are replica rockets and stars.
“Whoever creates these is really talented,” I remark.
Lainey agrees. “Yeah, I bet kids really like those rocket- and star-shaped ones.”
“Hmm, maybe I should buy a few then for Aunt Gertrude’s boys. Brent mentioned once that they’re really into Star Wars.”
Lainey nods. “Oh, then those would be a hit, for sure.”
“Okay. We’ll buy some of those, plus a few other designs.”
“Cool.”
Just then a cute girl with dreads comes over to wait on us.
“May I help you, ladies?” she asks with a cheery grin.
“Yes.” I nod. “I’m going to need a few dozen donuts, please.”
“You’ve come to the right place,” she deadpans.
I laugh. “Clearly.”
Once I tell her exactly how many we want, she grabs three boxes and begins lining them with wax paper.
“What would you like to start with?” she asks once she’s done.
I point inside the case. “Definitely some of those rockets and stars donuts.”
The girl works on boxing up donuts, but hesitates at one point, eyeing me curiously like maybe she just now recognized me.
Softly, she says, “Hey, not to invade your privacy or anything, but may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Are you, by chance, Brent Oliver’s fiancée?”
I smile. I’m used to being recognized by now, and I always try to handle it graciously. It really is an honor to be associated with Brent.
“I am, yes,” I confirm.
“I thought so,” she says. And then, after a long pause, she adds, “It’s just that everyone in town knows you’re getting married next weekend. I guess you could say we’ve all been keeping tabs on the various players coming in. Like, just the other day, Benny Perry stopped in the store. We knew immediately who he was. We were all excited when he placed a big custom specialty donut order.”
“Oh he did, huh?” I murmur.
She nods. “Yes. And it’s actually ready to go. If you’d like, I can give you his donuts to take back with you. I mean, it’s up to you. But this way he wouldn’t have to make a special trip into town or anything. Plus, it’s already paid for.”
“Sure, okay.” I nod. “We can do that.”
Hmm, now I’m curious as to what kind of specialty donut order Benny placed. So I decide to ask for details.
But the girl just shrugs. “I’m sorry, but I don’t really know. I was here at the store that day he came in, but I didn’t take the actual order. The baker himself came out from the back and talked to him personally.” She pauses, then adds, “Come to think of it, it was all really secretive. I guess Mr. Perry wanted to keep his special order on the down-low for some reason.”
“Interesting,” I murmur. “I’m sure he did. Benny kind of has a donut addiction that we all like to tease him about. I bet that’s why.”
“Oh,” the girl replies. “Yes. That must’ve been the reason, then.”
Lainey asks how many donuts Benny ordered, and the girl says, “Two dozen.”
I let her know that we can definitely take the order to Benny.
“But,” I say, turning to Lainey, “we need to keep picking out donuts of our own for Brent’s family.”
She nods. “For sure. Benny will, no doubt, want all his donuts for his donut-loving self.”
“You think he can really eat twenty-four donuts?” I snort.
Lainey shrugs. “I don’t know, but probably.”
I think about how we’re talking Benny here and sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
We go on to choose an assortment of cute animal-shaped confections and several flower donuts to go along with the already-picked rockets and stars. All told, once we’re done, we walk out of the donut shop with Benny’s two dozen, plus three dozen of our own.
With so many, I put Lainey in charge of keeping the donut orders separated.
“Maybe you should mark them,” I suggest once we’re back in the car.
“No need,” Lainey says. “I know whose are whose.”
“All righty then, if you say so.” I blow out a breath. “But it’s up to you to explain to Benny what happened if someone eats his freaking special mystery batch.”
Of course, Lainey brushes that off. She’s too busy musing, “Hmm, I still wonder what kind of donuts he had designed.”
“I’m actually really curious too,” I confess. “Too bad the boxes are all taped up. And, look, there’s even string tied around them.”
“We could always try to lift an edge and peek in,” Lainey offers.
But I tell her I don’t think that’s a good idea. “The boxes will end up all bent up and he’ll know we were snooping.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” she concedes.
Still, I am dying of curiosity.
It’s then that I decide to “accidentally” mix up the orders when Lainey’s not looking. This way we can see what kind of donuts Benny had made when we open the boxes to serve the donuts to our guests tonight.
Hmm, I bet Benny had something really adorable designed for Eliza.
Or maybe he had some kind of cute wedding-themed donuts created for all of us to gorge on.
Yeah, I bet that’s what’s in his boxes.
As I’m driving away from t
he bakery, I’m already imagining cute, little white church-shaped donuts with really tall steeples, like the church Brent and I are to be married in.
And all I can think is, Aww, this is going to be so sweet.
Family Night
So my folks are coming over to the lake house tonight. Normally I’d be pretty amped about that, as I get along well with them, but they’re bringing my prissy Aunt Gertrude and her monster twins.
Er, I mean her nice sons, Ricky and Ronny.
Damn, I can’t even lie.
Those kids are the worst.
I’ve already warned Aubrey and the rest of the gang, but no one is prepared for when the demon seeds come in the door.
Like whirling dervishes, in no less than two minutes flat, they’re running around the house like they own the place, chasing and smacking each other.
“Oh, dear,” Aunt Gertrude laments as she wrings her hands. “Boys, stop it. Stop with this foolishness right now.”
She turns to me and, in a totally serious voice, says, “They’re usually much better-behaved when visiting people. I just don’t know what’s gotten into them tonight.”
Riiight…sure they are. I remember the hockey stick battle.
The boys run by us in the entry hall, ignoring their mother’s admonishments. They deviate to avoid her by clambering up the stairs leading up to the living room.
I sigh.
I’d like to say something to get them to stop running around, but I don’t want to cause any trouble. Aunt Gertrude is freaking hair-trigger sensitive when it comes to her “babies.”
Though I may have to speak up at some point, as I now hear them scampering around upstairs, probably terrorizing my houseguests.
Aubrey is standing next to me, listening to the racket. Leaning in, she whispers, “Good God. They really are monsters, aren’t they?”
“Told you they were bad,” I mumble, so Aunt Gertrude doesn’t hear.
My parents, meanwhile, are just shaking their heads.
Benny, who was up in the living room with the rest of the crew, waiting for us to come up, jogs down the stairs to where we’re clearly at an impasse.
Yeah, we haven’t made it any farther, not with the evil twins on their rampage.
“Hey, I heard the commotion down here,” he begins. “And I also think I caught a blur of some small people running by me in the living room just a minute ago.”
“Sorry about that,” I murmur, feeling frustrated.
Benny, noticing my distress, says, “Hey, if you’d like, I can set up your Xbox down in the basement family room. You still have that it, right?”
“I do,” I confirm.
“Well then, let me get the kids started on a game. Maybe that’ll keep them out of your hair for a while and you can entertain your guests.”
“Yeah, but you’re a guest too,” I say quietly. “You shouldn’t have to babysit.”
He waves his hand. “Aw, hell, I don’t mind.”
Benny is truly amazing with kids. I mean, shit, he’s fantastic with Eliza’s little daughter, Ava.
Still, I should warn him that he’s about to have his hands full with Ricky and Ronny.
I don’t get the chance, though. Aunt Gertrude, who I fully expected to nix the Xbox idea, is totally on board.
I look at her, and she’s smiling and nodding at Benny.
Wow, this is a first.
Touching my teammate’s arm, Aunt Gertrude gushes, “That’s such a wonderful idea, you big, strapping young man. I’m sure the boys will love the Xbox. They’re really into video games.”
Jesus, I think she’s taken a liking to my teammate.
Good thing Eliza has nothing to worry about. Even if he weren’t attached, and even back in his wild days, Benny would never hook up with my forty-something, skeletal-looking aunt.
First, she’s far too uptight, not to mention judgmental as hell. But also, Benny likes his women much younger and with a little curve to them. Not to mention, it’d take a really special man to deal with the double devil spawn on a regular basis.
And just then, like I’ve summoned the small demons just with my thoughts, devil spawn number one, Ronny, runs back downstairs.
I resist the urge to trip him as he ambles past. Good thing Benny is a much more reasonable man.
He catches Ronny by the arm, corralling him easily. “Hey, hey, hold up there for a minute, kid.”
Ronny struggles for all of about ten seconds, until he realizes his plight.
Yeah, bud, there’s no getting away from big Benny. Just ask any opposing player about that.
Normally my aunt would start huffing and puffing—how dare anyone touch her precious babies—but because it’s Benny, she just smiles over at him all googly like.
Heaven help us.
“It’s so nice to see a forceful man take charge,” Aunt Gertrude states dreamily.
“Oh, uh”—Benny, obviously catching on that she’s into him, begins to blush—“I, um, I was just trying to catch one of your boys to ask him if he and his brother would like to play those video games I mentioned.”
“Video games, video games, yes, yes, yes! Hey, Ricky,” Ronny screams up the stairs. “Get your butt down here.”
His brother races down the stairs, and after he hears Benny’s idea, he says, “Yeah, maybe. What kind of games do you have? Nothing lame, right?”
“I have Call of Duty,” I reply. “That’s hardly lame.”
How dare these brats question my game library!
They say then that they love Call of Duty, which I figured they would.
Benny, poor guy, now has the task of herding them down to the basement.
Too bad there are no shackles and chains down there. We could just lock them up.
Just kidding!
“Sorry, dude,” I murmur to Benny as he walks by with his charges in tow.
“Not a problem,” he murmurs back. “I volunteered, remember?”
“Still, I owe you one.”
He claps me on the back. “Just go spend some time with your family, man.”
Now that Ricky and Ronny are preoccupied, I do exactly that.
Once we’re finally all convened in the living room, I introduce everyone. My parents have already met my teammates, of course, but Lainey and Eliza are new to them.
And, well, everyone is new to Aunt Gertrude.
I gave the gang a heads-up earlier to watch their language and steer away from risqué topics. My parents are pretty cool with things like that, but Aunt Gertrude… Well, she’s a different story.
Everyone remember to stick to safe topics. Yay!
See, there’s nothing to worry about. This night is going to be a success.
We talk mostly about wedding stuff and also about what we’ve all been up to at the lake house. We leave out the dick-measuring contest, for obvious reasons. Even my über-cool parents might wonder about me on that one. Though I bet my dad would be really proud that I won.
“You’re a chip off the old block, son,” I imagine him saying.
Ugh, wait, no.
That makes me think about my dad’s dick, and dudes, that’s a hard pass.
Disturbed, I shake my head and make a sour face.
Aubrey, seated next to me on the sofa, notices and touches my thigh.
“Is everything okay?” she asks softly.
“Everything is fine, babe. My train of thought just got derailed there for a minute.”
“Care to share?”
“Good God, no.” The last thing I want is for Aubrey to be thinking about my dad’s dick too.
She continues to peer over at me, until she finally says, “Whatever, Brent. Maybe we should just move on and offer our guests some refreshments.”
“That’s a great idea, babe,” I reply, relieved.
Aubrey stands up and announces that we have donuts and coffee for everyone. My family is excited—sugar addicts!—while Lainey jumps up to help.
Eliza starts to volunteer to also assi
st in getting the refreshments, but Aunt Gertrude quickly cuts her off.
“No, no, you just stay there, missy. I’ll help instead.”
Aunt Gertrude’s been really snippy with Eliza since she found out she’s with Benny.
Women.
I shake my head, chuckling.
Eliza, gracious as always, says to Aunt Gertrude, “That’s fine. Be my guest.”
I shoot her a discreet thank-you nod, but she just shrugs, taking it all in stride. She and Benny really are perfect for one another. They’re just so damn laid back.
While Aubrey, Lainey, and my aunt head down to the kitchen, I look around and breathe a sigh of relief. My parents are talking with Nolan, and there’s been no further commotion with the twins. Guess Benny has them fully engaged in the game.
Wow, I can’t believe this family night is going so incredibly well.
But just then, all calmness is shattered when a blood-curdling scream rings out from downstairs in the kitchen.
What the…?
“Oh, dear Lord, what kind of awful donuts are those?” I hear Aunt Gertrude exclaiming. “You young people nowadays are just sick, sick, sick.”
Nope, Not Churches
There are multiple things happening at once.
And none of them are good.
For starters, Aunt Gertrude opens a box of Benny’s special-order donuts, and based on the contents, which I take a peek in at, she’s naturally aghast.
Oops, guess I shouldn’t have shuffled around the boxes, after all.
After screaming like a serial killer just walked into the house, Aunt Gertrude shouts, “Oh, dear Lord, what kind of awful donuts are those? You young people nowadays are just sick, sick, sick.”
Lainey looks into the box and starts laughing her ass off.
“That is so not helping,” I hiss over at her.
That just makes her laugh harder.
Bitch.
The twins, having heard the commotion, fly up into the kitchen.
“Mommy, mommy!” they call out in unison. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine, you little dears,” Aunt Gertrude tells them. “Just go back and play your video games.”
Too late, as one twin notices the boxes and yells out, “Oooh, donuts. Cool, I want one.”
