by Rachel Dove
‘Have you and my friends been colluding?’ she asked, looking around the room.
‘What?’ Stuart stuttered.
‘The cloak-and-dagger stuff going on this morning. Getting me here, and where’s Roger? My dad showed up at work an hour ago to man the shop.’
Stuart looked at his fiancée and realized that he had never appreciated what he had. And now it might just be too late. She was looking at him in question, and he took her hands in his as she moved closer to him on the sofa. The bar was practically empty now, just a few members of staff going around their business. Stuart looked into Lily’s eyes, and decided to do one more selfish thing. He put his hands on her face and pulled her in, putting his lips to hers. She hesitated, just for a beat, and then kissed him back. He kissed her like it was the first kiss, the last kiss, and the kiss to store in his memories. He drank her in, the last chance to hold something truly good in his hands.
He pulled away finally, and when he at last opened his eyes, she was looking at him with an expression he had never seen before flickering across her features. He knew then, whatever he said now, she was already lost to him. It wasn’t just his goodbye kiss. Maybe it was a good thing. It might just make this all the easier on them both.
He dropped one last kiss on her lips, and ran his thumb across her jaw bone.
‘I have something to tell you, Lily, so I just want you to listen.’
She looked down at her lap, at her ring. ‘I have something to tell you too.’
‘I know you do,’ he replied kindly. ‘I don’t need to hear that though, not yet. Please, just listen and let me finish.’
Lily sat back against the sofa. ‘Okay,’ she agreed. ‘Tell me.’
***
Roger and Simon were hiding in the kitchen. It was connected at one end to the main bar area, and if they peeked out through the window they could just about make out the sofa area. Stuart and Lily were deep in conversation, hunched together, but aside from the kiss, nothing much had happened for the last ten minutes. Simon was walking up and down the kitchen, chuntering to himself as he worked on making a dent in the kitchen floor.
‘Can you believe he kissed her like that, before telling her what a cheating asshat he is? The man is pure evil.’
Roger was munching on tiny nibbles in the corner, talking to Max. He looked over, rolling his eyes at Simon.
‘He was doing what he does best, Simon. He was taking what he wanted. Listen, you might not like this, but we have to respect Lily. She might forgive him. She might even marry him.’
‘Marry him!’ Simon squeaked. ‘Are you for real?’
Roger and Max shushed him. Stuart held up his hands, pacing again.
‘Sorry!’ he said, speaking quieter now but in a tone that mirrored that of a toddler. ‘Of course, we need to be quiet, while we wait for the king of douche to break Lily’s heart.’
Roger bit his lip. ‘Do you think Will’s still here?’
Max was wiping down the work surfaces, ready for the day’s work to start. ‘Will’s definitely still here. The man was here at dawn, double-checking everything. I thought he was going to start cooking at one point. He really likes her, doesn’t he. Have they been seeing each other?’
Roger waggled his finger. ‘Oh no, our Lily is not in the same league as your mate, buddy boy. She has nothing to feel guilty for.’
Max held out his hands in surrender, pretending to dodge a bullet. ‘Hey, emotional affairs count you know, but I don’t blame her, either way. I told Stuart time and time again that he was playing with fire. I like Lily. Is Will really such a nice guy?’
Roger looked at Simon, who was stood with his face to the window. ‘Yes, he is a good guy.’
Simon motioned to Roger. ‘It’s time to go.’
***
Lily sat on the sofa, staring at the flames coming from the fireplace. Roger and Simon came out from the back of the bar, walking over to her slowly. She looked up at them both, but she wasn’t crying. She even smiled at them.
‘I get what you were doing now,’ she said in a monotone voice. ‘All the cloak-and-dagger stuff.’ She laughed, a hollow, bitter sound that made the men flinch.
‘We are here to take you home,’ Simon said, reaching for her bag. Roger took the cue, picking up her coat and holding it out for her. Lily eyed them both.
‘Did you know?’ she asked, scared to hear the answer.
Both men shook their heads in unison.
‘No, honey, I just didn’t like him,’ Roger said, shaking her coat in front of her. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
Lily looked to Simon as she stood.
‘Don’t look at me. I didn’t like him either but if I knew I would have knocked the guy out.’
Lily put her arms in her coat, taking her bag from Simon. She grabbed him impulsively, hugging him tight. ‘Sorry,’ she said. Roger winked at her from over Simon’s shoulder.
‘Don’t be daft; you’re upset. Come on, let’s get out of here. Roger will drive the van back.’
She nodded, turning towards the bar.
‘You two go – I will be there in a minute.’ She took the ring from her finger, walking to the bar. The two men nodded and headed to the car park. She passed the ring to Ian, who took it without question. Lily flushed, realizing everyone knew about today, and that meant they knew about the cheating. She felt like an idiot. All this time of feeling guilty about having feelings for a man, and her partner had been shagging half the country club.
She turned and only just resisted the urge to run out of the door. She had to preserve some kind of dignity. She had to walk out of here with her chin up.
Will stood in the doorway, looking straight at her.
Great, she thought to herself as she took in the sight of him. There goes my last chance for any scrap of self-preservation.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, moving a little away from the bar to avoid Ian eavesdropping.
‘I work here, remember?’ Will said quietly. ‘Are you okay?’
Lily snorted at his words before recovering. ‘I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?’
Will looked concerned. ‘No reason, Lils, I’m just asking how you are.’
‘Don’t call me Lils,’ she spat, walking closer to him in a bid to get to the door. ‘I don’t have anything to say to you, and you couldn’t have picked a worse time to chat.’
Will put his hands out as though he was trying to calm down a startled fawn and Lily took another couple of steps closer.
‘Will, just let me go home, please. Simon and Roger are outside, and I don’t want to make a scene. I have had a horrible morning.’
‘I know,’ he said, his voice catching. ‘I am so sorry.’
‘Sorry for what?’ she shouted, flicking her gaze behind her. Ian wasn’t there. The bar was thankfully now empty. ‘For cheating on your wife, or for the fact I have just found out that my …’
She stopped talking, her voice fading. She wouldn’t tell him. It was too embarrassing.
***
Will kept his cool. He wanted to shout and scream, beg her to give him a chance. He wanted to tell her that he would kiss her tears away, and make her truly happy, given the chance. He knew, if he ever got the opportunity, he would never let her down. Her look kept him silent. He knew she was upset, and now was not the time. Maybe it would never be his time again.
***
The way he just kept staring at her was the worst. He looked like he just wanted to cuddle her. His chocolate brown eyes were fixed on her as though he was in on her pain, suffering too, and she could barely handle it. She wished she still had him to talk to, to tell him about Stuart, but it was too late now. There was a chalk line drawn between them, and neither of them seemed able to close the gap and cross it.
‘I just wanted to check that you were okay, that’s all. I saw the van.’
She pushed her tongue into her cheek to stop herself from spilling out the deta
ils of her tragic morning. What right did she have to be mad, anyway? Sure, Stuart was a stinking love rat, but had Will not turned her down, she couldn’t be sure that she would be squeaky clean. She had wanted Will, had kissed a man whilst engaged to another. A married man to boot. They would make excellent fodder for Jeremy Kyle, or Oprah.
‘I’m fine,’ she said instead. ‘I have to go. Dad’s holding the fort at the shop.’
Will dipped his head once. ‘Take care of yourself, Lily.’
‘You too, Will. Enjoy your life with Kim.’
Will flinched at the final barb she threw, but said nothing about it.
‘Be happy,’ he muttered, and left.
Lily was left standing there, touching the ring space on her left hand. She couldn’t escape the voice in her head, telling her that her chance at happiness had just left the building.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Two weeks later, Will was racing through Westfield in his jeep, cringing to himself as he took the corners on two wheels. He had to get there, and fast. He had to be there, to say goodbye, if nothing else. When he got the call, he had been working at the golf club. He remembered screaming at Joel that he had to leave, throwing his tools to the floor, and fumbling in his pocket for his keys as he pelted hell for leather across the expansive greens for the car park.
He knew it was coming, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon. He thought he could cope – it was inevitable after all. She would be happy, finally. He knew it in his bones. The only problem was the thought of her leaving without him seeing her again felt like a punch in the gut. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. They had come too far together to end it like this.
He eyed the oncoming traffic as he headed to the outskirts of Westfield, seeing signs for the airport and Harrogate. He gunned the jeep, narrowly missing a manure truck as he overtook on a blind bend. He might risk death on the way, but he would get there in time, no matter what.
***
Lily stood and looked around her flat, marvelling at how the dusty old office cum storage room had changed. It was beautiful now, all whites, creams, and golds. She had turned the dark, dingy canvas into a home worth having. It had been her haven, just hers, no one else’s. Stuart hadn’t even set foot through the doors, and she was grateful for that. She hadn’t spoken to him in person since that day, but he had written her a letter. Typical coward, he had hot-footed it to his father the same day.
She had no idea what he had told him, but she could bet it wasn’t the truth. Not judging from the press release they had sent out, stating that Stuart would be touring on the circuit, with no mention of a wedding or a fiancée. They described him as ‘newly single’. Which he was, of course, but she doubted that he would stay that way. She had heard snippets of gossip through Simon and the others since about his conquests, but as most of them were from the club, it was unlikely that she would come across many of his conquests in Westfield. Luckily, village women had better taste in men.
Elaine, Simon, and Roger had been amazing, taking her home that day. They had listened to her rantings, plied her with pizza and Prosecco. They had been out to Leeds clubbing again, but it hadn’t been the same. Being back in that club just reminded her of Will, and she found herself crying in the toilets alone after she had spotted their booth.
She missed Will so much. In the short time they had spent together, she had cared more for him than she ever had for Stuart. When she thought of Stuart, she felt nothing but regret. Regret that she didn’t realize sooner what he was up to, how little they had in common. She was even happy for him. He would be out there soon, doing what he loved.
A couple of years and she just knew she would be reading about him in Hello, pictured with some blonde oil heiress and their shiny pink baby. And she would be happy for him. Sorry for the woman he settled down with of course, because she had to end up with him, but still, happy for him. He had love rat written through him like a stick of Blackpool rock. She was happy to see him go, in reality.
Losing Will was the cause of the ache in her heart. She found herself thinking of him, sat watching television with his wife, kissing her good morning, taking her to bed at night. She couldn’t cope with being here without him.
Saving for eight years for a marriage – and life that never happened – was not as tragic at it sounded. The shop was doing well. The mortgage was paid every month, with enough money to justify two wages to boot. She had no money worries, she had her own business and house, but it wasn’t enough. Her six-year-old self, making posies in the back room, was bored.
Lily had been painting more and more, making cards, postcards, and even starting to work on larger pieces, but it still didn’t quiet her mind. Seventeen days after she lost the men in her life, she had made a decision.
Lily looked around her flat for the last time, before locking up. She pulled her suitcase down the stairs, hearing it clunk behind her on every metal step. The garden area was taking shape now. Roger had been working out there when he had spare moments at work. They were going to branch out into selling small plants and shrubs eventually. The tubs and orchids were selling well already. The nearest garden centre was a fair trek away, so the people of Westfield were pretty happy with this addition. With that and the cards, business was good. She knew it would be in the best of hands.
She walked into the back of the shop, pausing to stuff an extra notepad and pack of pencils into her oversized handbag. She was dressed in a simple dress and heels, covered with a pretty white cardigan. Perfect for the warmer weather. She flicked her eyes over the contents of her bag again, and satisfied she went to find Roger.
‘Hey, honey!’ he said, pulling her into a huge hug, which made her ribs crack.
‘Hey! Don’t kill me before I go!’
Roger laughed. Irvin and Lizzie were sat making up orders, and they looked at her fondly.
‘All ready for the off?’ her dad said, squeezing Lizzie’s bum on the way to his daughter. Lizzie tittered, and Lily winced. Roger made a barf sound.
‘Oh shut up, Roger, I am a man in love. What can I say!’ Irvin hugged his only child tight, and she could feel his rumbling laughter vibrate through her body. She hugged him back tight.
‘We will miss you, kid. Be safe, and email your mother every day.’
‘Every day!’ Lily grimaced. ‘Every week, Dad – I will be too busy exploring!’
Lizzie pushed Irvin off kindly, before dropping kisses all over her daughter’s face.
‘Ooo, I am going to miss this face. You moving here was hard enough, now you will be gallivanting around the blessed world!’
They hugged each other, and Lily ignored the sting in her eyes.
‘Come on then, let’s go to the airport, get this show on the road before we all start blubbing!’ Irvin took Lizzie’s hand and Lily’s suitcase handle and Roger and Lily watched them walk off to Irvin’s car, giggling and smooching all the way.
Lily looked at Roger guiltily.
‘Will you be able to cope, with those two helping out?’
Roger took her by the shoulders, and she half thought he was about to shake her screaming, ‘Don’t leave me!’ He rubbed down her arms instead, a sad smile on his face. She saw he had tears in his eyes, and she blinked her own away.
‘I’ll cope. Did your mother tell you they are going to be doing floristry classes at the community centre? Agatha organized for them to take a little teaching qualification. Your parents will be busy teaching students and fawning over each other. I will be just fine here. Your dad is going to do the deliveries, and we can always hire someone if needed. Are you sure you can cope without a wage?’
Lily nodded. ‘ You spend that on making this place what we want it to be. I have my wedding fund, and the money from my art. I will be fine. I plan to busk too, when I get the nerve. Sell people my work on the road.’
Roger shook his head in disbelief.
Lily frowned. ‘What? Don’t you think I could?�
�
Roger grabbed her by the chin, waggling it. ‘I know you can. I just can’t believe that the girl standing here, about to see the world, is the same timid little girl I came to work for.’
Lily grinned. ‘Less of the girl!’ Roger hugged her then, and she felt him sob a little. ‘Stop that – we can email and Skype all the time! I will be back bugging you before you know it!’
Roger sniffed. ‘I know, I just wish things had worked out a little better with Will. You should call him, you know.’
***
Roger already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he had to ask it anyway. It was the same every time he mentioned Will. Lily closed down, refused to talk. Roger was having a hard time with it all. He knew that Will was the man for her, but what could he do? Lily was shaking her head before he even got the question out.
‘No, Rog, and please, I don’t want to talk about it again.’
Roger tried again. ‘But, Lily, you don’t know the whole –’
‘Roger!’ she shouted, a tear rolling down her cheek as she squeezed her eyes shut. Roger stopped talking. It was no use anyway.
***
‘I am just about to see the world. Marry my passport,’ she said, sorry that she had shouted at her best friend. ‘I know I am single, almost dumped-at-the-altar tragic, but I am happy. I don’t want to go on bad terms.’
Roger reached under the desk, bringing out a bookshop plastic bag.
‘Well, in that case, I bought you the very latest romance novels, to read on the plane. There is a card in there too, just a little one for your wallet, from James and I. He sends his love – he had to work.’
Lily looked in the bag, noticing a little card tucked into a pile of books she had been coveting for a while.
‘These are brilliant, thank you,’ she said, pulling him in for another hug. Her dad tooted the horn outside, and she could see him tapping his watch through the window.
‘I have to go – don’t want to miss my plane. France awaits!’
Roger squeezed her tight. ‘Stay safe, my darling. Go out there and have fun! You might even meet some hunky dude!’
