by K E Osborn
I do love this chick.
“I’m glad you’re home,” she says warmly.
“Me too, hospitals suck.”
She pulls back and she looks at me with an all too serious stare. “I’m always here… if you need anything and I mean anything.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. But for now, I’m just gonna go lay down for a bit.”
She nods. “Sure, of course, whatever you need.” She lets me go completely and I walk past, up the stairs heading for my room. The one I’ve been sharing with my… with Tillie. Who won’t be there.
Opening the door, I exhale. The bed sheets are still in disarray from our lovemaking the morning of the accident, and I squeeze my eyebrows together at seeing all her stuff is still here. Taking a deep breath, I walk in and close the door behind me then lean up against it taking a moment to let it truly sink in.
Her stuff is here, but she isn’t. And probably never will be again.
But it’s for the best.
I have to protect myself.
Sighing, I nod and step away from the door heading toward my bed and I sit down on the edge. Something glistens against the ruffles of the pillow, and as I reach up for it I notice it’s Tillie’s necklace. As I bring it up to look at it, I sigh. I thread the little tree with aqua leaves on it through my fingers as I try to tell myself I’m doing the right thing by letting her go. I just don’t know how things will go seeing her tomorrow.
I spin, slumping my back down on the bed and bring the necklace up to my chest and close my eyes. I can smell her. She’s all around me and just for a moment I want to pretend she’s here. I want to remember what it was like having her with me because I know that soon her smell will be gone and all I’ll have left is the memory of her.
Danger’s driving us to the office and to say I’m a little tense today is an understatement. I don’t know how I’m going to react to seeing Tillie, but I brought her necklace with me so I can give it to her. I know it’s her favorite, so she should have it.
We arrive and all file up into the building. I’m not sure where she’ll be but I need a coffee to take the edge off. Danger and Lunar are with me on needing some caffeine, so we head straight for the kitchen. When we approach my arms begin to tingle and the hairs on my body stand up. I furrow my brows not really taking notice, but then we turn the corner and as we walk into the kitchen Tillie is there making coffee. Everyone stops and an awkward silence falls over the room as my heart leaps into my throat at seeing her. She looks beautiful. Her face is pale, her eyes slightly puffy and redder than normal, but even still she looks beautiful. It makes my cock and chest ache equally as hard.
Tillie clears her throat, grabbing her mug and turns to walk out.
“Tillie,” I call out and she stops. Her eyes widen and brighten slightly as if she’s looking hopeful. It makes my chest hurt even more. But I’m doing the right thing. I pull her necklace from my pocket and hand it back to her along with her cell. She swallows hard not saying anything, but takes them from me, nods and then turns walking out.
“That was brutal,” Lunar says walking out after Tillie while Danger rubs the back of his neck.
“You’re really ending it? For good?”
I nod. “I have to.”
He exhales, slapping my shoulder and shaking his head. “Okay… club, you, me, boys’ night, tonight?”
“Fuck yeah.”
We decided to make it a guys’ night and so it’s the four of us heading out. Me, Danger, Nate and Matt going out together like the old times. We should have a great time, because not only are the boys back together for a fun night of drinking but now that we’re a hot commodity we should be getting more attention and better service in the VIP area of the bar we’re headed to in downtown LA.
We asked Declan to come with us, along with a couple of his crew, just in case, and so we have a little entourage tonight. I feel important as we step out of the Hummer and onto the red carpet. There’s no paps which is good, but the people in the queue for the club instantly recognize us and start to cheer and scream as soon as they see us. I wave and smile at them as they all pull out their cells and start snapping, and it’s nice to know that after all this time, after all the shit we’ve gone through as a band, we’re finally getting somewhere in our music careers.
“This is fucking epic,” Nate says as we’re ushered toward the VIP stairs.
“You’re not kidding,” Matt replies.
Danger smirks and we head up to where our night will begin. It feels kinda weird being here without Lunar, but this is a guys’ night and she understands that sometimes we’ve just got to have a night for the boys. And that is why we love her so much. She just gets us and doesn’t complain at all.
“What’s Lunar doing tonight?” I ask Danger.
Danger shrugs. “I think she said something about a Dawson’s Creek marathon while on Skype with Skye.”
“Skye?” I ask.
“Her club girlfriend from the Savages MC in Australia. Apparently, she’s left the club now too and has gone to live on a farm with her brother or something, I don’t know. I can’t keep up. Plus, I kinda tuned out after she mentioned Dawson.”
“Aww… but Pacey’s so hot,” I tease.
“Okay so, one… you know who Pacey is… that’s disturbing. And two… you feeling better?” Danger asks, and I shrug.
“Yeah, yeah. Not really… can’t get her out of my head.”
“Maybe that tells you something?”
“Yeah, that I should never have gotten in so deep in the first place.”
He exhales. “Ryan, shit! Do you hear yourself?”
“What was that? Let’s get some drinks, shoot some pool, and forget about women? Yeah, I’m down for that,” I mock and Danger nods as we reach the top of the stairs.
We head into the VIP area and it’s not very busy for a Friday night. But I guess we are what you would consider early, so I think the crowd is yet to come.
“Doubles?” Nate asks gesturing with his head toward the empty pool table. I nod, and he and Matt walk over to the table to set up.
“You sure you’re up for this, Ryan?” Danger asks, and I purse my lips.
“Danger, I just need to try and relax. Can you help me with that or not?”
“Sure, but with your surgery and the… recent visit to the hospital, I don’t think you should drink alcohol.”
I’ve already thought of this and I agree. “Yeah, I’ll just stick to soda water tonight.”
Danger smiles genuinely, like he’s relieved I wasn’t going to start being reckless again. “Good man. I’ll order, you head over to the pool table.”
Nodding, I walk over to Nate and Matt who are already arguing over something, but then again they wouldn’t be Nate and Matt if they weren’t arguing about some shit or other.
“No, really I’m the better breaker,” Matt says.
“Yeah, you love breaking balls,” Nate replies making me chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah, you just love balls. Period,” Matt counters.
“At least I have some,” Nate quips.
“Yeah, least I have some and they’re not blue like yours.”
“Umm… one word… Candace!”
Matt scoffs. “Candace, really? She was your last lay? Dude, that was months ago. So yes that proves my theory that you do indeed have blue balls. I win that round. Therefore I break.”
Nate’s mouth drops open and he blinks a few times as I chuckle shaking my head.
“Ryan, dude, that doesn’t count, right?” Nate asks.
I shrug. “His logic seems sound to me, sorry dude. And really… Candace was your last lay?” I ask, and he screws his face up and throws the blue chalk at me.
“Hey, screw you, fucker. You’re meant to be on my side.”
“Since when?”
“Since you said ‘fuck you’ to love.”
I furrow my brows. “What do you mean?”
“Well, Tillie’s moping around like someone kill
ed her pussy, I’m guessing that’s you. I never get the full story, but I’m pretty sure you guys have broken up and that’s why we’re out. So we can look for the ladies together tonight then, yeah?”
I furrow my brows and shake my head. “I don’t really think I’m up to looking for another girl just yet, but you go ahead and wet your dick, Nate. Go sort out those blue balls,” I say.
“Fuck you, Matt. Now everyone thinks I have blue balls,” Nate says yelling at his brother.
“Who has blue balls?” Danger asks as he comes over with all the drinks on a single tray.
“I don’t have blue balls,” Nate yells just as the music stops. His voice carries through the VIP lounge and everyone looks right at him. His eyes open wide and the entire room bursts out laughing at him as the music starts up again. He groans, picking up his drink and starts to guzzle it down quickly while I chuckle.
Danger looks to me and even though I’m chuckling, even though I may look like I’m having a good time, there’s a pit in my stomach and an ache in my chest that makes me feel completely nauseous. I feel like shit, and even though a night out with my boys is what’s needed, I feel like I could also be at home cuddled up in bed wallowing into my pillow and feel much better about it.
We start playing a round of pool when the VIP room starts to become a little busier. A swarm of females push their way in, I don’t recognize them but they look like they might be models of some kind. I don’t really follow the modeling circuit, but they are stunning women. Nate and Matt are drooling as Danger, and I keep more to ourselves in the back area. A couple of the models come down and start to chat to us. A blonde makes her way to me and she’s very attractive, but I have no urge to do anything other than talk to her.
“Hey, are you havin’ a good night?” she asks in her southern twang. She doesn’t sound like a bimbo, even though her looks would make me think otherwise.
I guess you can’t judge a book and all that.
“Yeah, not too bad. What are you ladies up to tonight?”
She shrugs. “Nothin’ much, just having a few drinks after our competition today.”
I figure I should try and make some conversation and not be a complete asshole. “Competition?”
She nods. “Pageant. We’re beauty queens.”
I nod matter-of-factly. “Oh right. How’d you go?”
She shrugs. “Meh… came fifth, and won Miss Congeniality.”
“Oh, like Sandra Bullock?”
She giggles. “Yeah, kinda like that, but without the undercover police work.”
I finally crack a smile and nod. “Who won?”
She rolls her eyes and nods her head to the brunette hanging off Nate’s shoulder. “Miss California, her daddy is sleepin’ with one of the judges… conveniently.”
“Right, so she legit won then.”
She nods. “Oh yeah, legit! You should hear her talent… singin’, not tone deaf at all.” She has a big smirk and I chuckle knowing how rigged these types of competitions really are.
“Why do you do them if they’re so…” I pause wanting to choose my words carefully.
“Rigged?” she says finishing my sentence for me. I nod, and she smiles. “It’s fun. I know I’ll never win. I don’t come from pageant families, and I have no affiliations with judges so I’ll never get anywhere, but it is fun. I like to dress up and look pretty every now and then. In my everyday life I’m just a country girl workin’ on a farm with her hands in cow dung every day. It’s nice to be a girl you know?”
“Let me guess, Miss Texas?”
“Was it my Southern twang that gave me away?”
“Lil’ bit.” I use my fingers as a measurement.
She nods. “Yes sir tends to do that. Can I be honest with you?”
“Sure thing Miss Texas.”
“I’ve never met a rock star before, would you mind terribly if I took a picture with you?”
I chuckle. “Why peaches and cream, I’ve never met a southern belle before, get over here,” I say, and she giggles moving over and she sits in my lap as she takes out her cell phone and starts taking selfies of us together.
“So peaches, what’s your actual name?” I ask as she continues to snap pictures of us.
She sighs and rolls her eyes making me chuckle. “Well, my daddy calls me Delilah-May, but I hate that, so my friends pretty much call me Lilah.”
“Well Lilah, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ryan.”
She giggles. “I know who you are, Mister Recoil man. I may be from the South, but I still like rock and roll.”
“You’re my kinda girl, peaches.”
She giggles and leans in taking more selfies with me. I can’t help but notice Danger looking over at me and frowning. I ignore the twisting in my stomach and push it to the side. Lilah is a really nice girl, and I’m not going to let him get in the way of me forming a friendship.
Lilah and I are happily chatting when a ruckus forms at the top of the VIP stairs. I glance over and notice Debt Money and his crew coming in, including Melody and Harmony the two girls who caused all the trouble for us last time. I tense up looking over to Danger. He stands up, his muscles clenching.
Lilah looks at me and hums, “Hmm… I’m sensin’ you guys don’t get along too well?”
“No, not overly.”
Danger steps up next to me and I glance up to look at him. He practically has smoke billowing from his ears. “Danger, how do you wanna play this?”
“I don’t wanna get in another fight, but I don’t want to get walked all over again either,” he says as Declan steps up beside us.
“Is that Debt Money?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I simply reply.
“Well, this time you have us. He won’t get near you guys. Don’t worry,” Declan tells us.
Debt Money spots us straight away. A slow grin creeps up on his face.
I grab Lilah’s waist and slowly lift her up off my lap as I stand up. “Lilah, maybe go stand with the girls for a bit.”
She nods and walks away as Debt Money and his crew start walking over to us. I stand taller as Danger squeezes his fists beside him. Matt and Nate are over the other side of the room oblivious to what’s even going down right now. Probably a good thing. They can be hot headed.
“Well, well… if it isn’t my two favorite dogs,” Debt Money says.
Danger takes a step forward and I place my hand on his chest holding him back. “Listen Debt Money, we don’t want a fight,” I say.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I bet you don’t, ‘cause you know I’d whoop your ass—”
“I’d like to see you try. If you didn’t have the jump on us you lowly scum sucking fucking prick,” Danger grits, edging forward again and I pull him back more as Debt Money grins showing his gold grills.
“You got fight, dog. I like that. But you see you bitches got the upper hand now. The public for some fucked up reason, they be on your side. If I fuck you up, my popularity will fall. I can’t be having that. So we need to unify. We need to reconcile our differences. Maybe we should collaborate, you and I? What do ya say?”
I scoff, and Danger lets out a loud laugh. “You want to do a song together?”
Debt Money nods. “That’s what I’m saying, dog. Rap and rock. The beats they flow like a river, we run together, a beautiful harmony and melody like my ladies. Ya feel me?”
I look to Danger raising my eyebrow and Danger looks completely confused. “You’re fucked in the head! Like, seriously delusional.”
I try to hold in my laugh as Debt Money frowns. “So, you don’t want to do a song together, dog?”
“For starters, I’m not a dog and the only bitch here is you! And for you to come crawling to us wanting to collaborate only tells me how much you trying to fuck us over has fucked you over. No, we will not do a song with you! Yes, you can leave now. No, don’t ever contact us again. And if you try to spin this to the media in any way, we will take you down… you feel that, dog?” Danger spits and I fist bump
him in plain sight of Debt Money.
He bares his teeth and growls like a dog but slowly backs away taking his entourage with him and leaves the VIP area. I turn to Danger and chuckle as Declan laughs shaking his head. “Seems like you didn’t need our muscle after all,” Declan says.
“Yeah, seems like Danger’s tongue lashing is enough to scare him away,” I say.
“Fuck! I sure showed him. Who the fuck does he think he is? Wanting a collaboration with us to try and gain his popularity back. Fucking freeloader.”
I shake my head as Nate and Matt walk over with two Miss somethings on their arms.
“What the hell was that?” Matt asks.
“You don’t even want to know. Let’s keep having a good time. This VIP room is ours tonight, guys, let’s enjoy it,” Danger says and I smile with a nod.
I take my seat and look over to Lilah. She gazes over at me and I gesture for her to come back. She does and sits in the seat next to me rather than on my lap this time.
“So that looked intense,” she says.
I chuckle. “Yeah, just a guy we used to know trying to mark his territory. Thing is, I think we kinda kick his ass now.”
“Well, I’m glad. Would hate for anyone to mess up that pretty face of yours.”
I chuckle. “Thanks, peaches. I need another drink, time for a refill?”
“Yes please, whiskey thanks.”
“Okay, be right back,” I say and head to the bar. I order a whiskey for Lilah and a soda water for myself. The endorphins of kicking Debt Money’s ass—metaphorically speaking—are running high and as I grab Lilah’s whiskey it smells so good. I look to my soda water and the thought of drinking another bubbly water just isn’t making my happiness stick around. Looking back at the whiskey, I know my liver is still recovering and drinking alcohol will be bad, but tonight is messing with my emotions. I’m missing Tillie, and I keep thinking about Katie, but I’m also on a high from putting Debt Money in his place. My emotions are all over the place, so I decide that one drink can’t hurt, right?
I turn back to the bar and order another whiskey. Carrying the drinks, I return to Lilah and as we drink she takes a few more happy snaps. I don’t mind. It’s not every day a country girl meets a rock star. Plus, I feel like we’re friends so it’s nice to connect with her. But after I finish my whiskey, I’m feeling a little dizzy and sick—I want to go home. The emotions of the night are all getting a bit too much and I’m ready to leave.
