“My grandmother has a better social life than I do,” I mumbled as the door slammed behind her.
Mikey’s arms snaked around my waist and he laughed against my neck. “But not a better a sex life.”
I laughed as I leaned into him. “Thank God for that,” then I cringed because I didn’t even want to think about my ninety-three-year-old nana having any kind of sex life even if it was just figuratively speaking. Mikey’s hands worked the button on my jeans, popping it open as an idea came to my mind. I placed my hands over his and turned in his arms.
“They’re both out of the house Mikey do you know what that means?” I said smiling mischievously.
“Yes, it means I can have my way with you anywhere I want and not have to worry how loud you are,” he said bending down to kiss me but I took a step back and shook my head.
“Nope,” I bit my lip as I stared at him, wondering if I could get him to go along with my idea.
“No?” he asked, confused.
“It means we have no one telling us what we can and cannot do. It means we can finally go out and have some fun just me and you.” I smiled taking his hands in mine. “We don’t have to worry about them reporting back to my dad or Jimmy we can just go out and enjoy ourselves for once.”
“Nikki…,” he said reluctantly.
“Please don’t say no,” I said hopefully as I watched him struggle with my proposition.
“It’s a bad idea, Nikki,” he said taking a step back as he stretched his arm behind him to cup the back of his neck. “Your father specifically warned us to lie low when we were here and not make any detours.”
“It’s just one night,” I argued. “Really, how much trouble could we get ourselves into? It’s not like I’m asking you to go out all night. I just want to go to a bar or something…”
“A little bar in the middle of the nowhere where no one knows you and you could dance to whatever’s playing on the jukebox?” he said replaying the words I had spoken to him that night we went out so that he could get a taste of New York’s nightlife. I was surprised he remembered that and didn’t know what to make of it. The night of his mom’s funeral, he had vowed to pay attention to me to get to know me the fact that he repeated my words back to me made me realize that Mikey was a man of his word.
“Fine,” he said slowly exhaling. “Go get dressed.”
A smile spread across my face and I threw my arms around Mikey’s neck.
“Thank you. I promise we’ll have a good time and everything will be fine. You’ll see,” I kissed his lips softly before hurrying towards the stairs to get ready for our date. It was a date, right? Well, it was for me anyway.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Against my better judgment, I agreed to take Nikki out I just couldn’t say no to her no matter how hard I tried. I knew it was a shit thing to do going against Victor’s orders and all that, but to be fair, Jimmy had said that they were working on getting us home by tomorrow. We could possibly only have one night left here in Florida and I thought why not make the most of it. It was a stretch to think that Victor’s enemies would be here watching us when they had Victor to deal with. It wasn’t like I was taking her out to some grand place that everyone knew.
I had found a hole in the wall bar that served liquor and had a jukebox a bar just like Nikki had once told me she wanted to be taken too. My eyes did a quick sweep of our surroundings the bar was older than Aunt Gina (not quite as old as Nana) it was well kept and there wasn’t a big clientele. Aside from us, there were just a few couples in their forties swaying to some country song that blasted from the jukebox. We were completely out of place, but I seriously doubted that anyone looking for us would think to find us here.
I held out the bar stool for Nikki watching along with everyone else in the bar as she climbed onto the stool in the lace romper she was wearing. The shorts were short enough that her tanned legs were fully on display and it was cut very low giving me just the perfect hint of her cleavage. I couldn’t wait to peel the damn thing off her. I’d start by untying that little bow in the back of her neck that held the whole thing together and slide the wide sleeves down her arms. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra because I couldn’t see the straps of one through the lace.
Once she was fully seated on the stool I ushered her closer to the bar, brushed her wavy hair behind her shoulder, and leaned into her. A man could get drunk on the scent of her alone at least this man could.
“What do you want to drink”? I asked her as I pulled away from her before I embarrassed myself. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and turned around to get the bartender's attention.
“I’ll have a shot of tequila and a corona.”
I smiled widely as I signaled the bartender. “A woman after my own heart,” I winked at her as the bartender stepped to us.
“Is that all it takes to get to your heart?” she asked me softly. I didn’t have time to ponder her tone and whether she was kidding or actually if she was seriously asking me that question.
“What can I get you?” said the friendly bartender. What a difference from the service here to the service of the clubs in the city. This man was in his fifties and seemed genuinely happy to serve us not to mention Nikki didn’t have to flash her tits in his face to get his attention.
“Two Coronas and two shots of Patron, please,” I said.
“Coming right up,” he said before busying himself filling our order.
I turned my attention back towards Nikki. “Why Nikki you looking to nestle your way into my heart?”
Surprise registered in her eyes as she met my gaze. I raised an eyebrow towards her, daring her to answer.
The bartender placed our drinks in front of us on the bar and I reached into my pocket, pulling out a twenty and laying it on the bar.
“Keep the change,” I said as I handed Nikki her shot and took my own. She reached for the salt shaker taking my free hand in hers before pouring a little salt on my closed hand and did the same to her own.
“Avoiding the question?” I asked, watching her intently. I didn’t know why I wanted her to answer I was scared shitless that she’d say yes then what would I do. I wanted more than anything to be on the receiving end of her love more than I wanted my next breath, but I didn’t know what the fuck to do with that love once I had it.
“I’m giving you a pass Mikey take it,” she said as she licked the salt from her hand before tipping her head at me to do the same. I did as she had and licked the salt from my hand before clinking my shot glass to hers. We downed the shot of tequila simultaneously before taking the limes and sucking on them.
Nikki’s face scrunched up at the bitterness of the lime and she reached for her Corona taking a big gulp to wash away the foul taste from her mouth.
“I didn’t ask for a pass,” I said, reaching for my own beer. I should quit while I was ahead, but I had no sense anymore and continued to press her.
“Not verbally,” she turned to me leaning closer her index finger making a sweeping motion around my eyes. “But you said it loud and clear with those eyes of yours,” she cocked her head to the side. “Tell me something Mikey have you ever loved someone?”
Ah, shit. I couldn’t leave well enough alone now I was really fucked. I ran my fingers through my hair as I debated how to answer the question and if there was anyway, I could get out of it. I took another sip of my beer trying my damnedest to stall.
“Right,” she said reaching out to pat my cheek sympathetically, making me feel like I was a poor soul that was missing out on one of the great joys of life. Amazing how one little gesture could make a man feel so small. “Don’t worry Mikey if I learned anything from this mess it’s not to give my heart away so willingly anymore, so you have nothing to worry about.”
She lifted the beer bottle from the bar, bringing it to her lips, but before she could tilt her head back and take a sip I took the beer from her hand and placed it back on top of the bar.
“Dance with me?” I
asked, swallowing hard trying not to sound so desperate. I may not be able to bring myself to speak what was on my mind and in my heart, but I could show her in other ways that I cared. It was a shitty consolation prize, but it’s all I had in me.
She paused a beat studying me before her lips curved into that sweet smile that seemed to own me. “Only if I get to pick the song.”
“Fair enough,” I said helping her off the stool and guiding her towards the jukebox. I dug into the pockets of my jeans and handed her a handful of quarters. She took them and flipped through the catalog of songs that the jukebox offered taking her time to select a song. I stared at her looking at her as if for the very first time trying to memorize everything about her.
A memory of the little girl I once thought of as a tagalong flashed through my mind reminding me that somewhere along the way she grew up to become the woman of my dreams. I wished I were the type of guy that deserved happiness that deserved someone like her in my life. I suddenly felt the urge to put my fist through something angry at the fact that the one thing I wanted more than anything was in arms reach and I still couldn’t reach out and take her.
She pointed to the screen of jukebox at the song she had chosen and I leaned forward, squinting to read the tiny lettering. The song was called If I Lose Myself by Corey Gray I had never heard this rendition of the song but I knew One Republic’s version. Something told me, Nikki was sending me a message by choosing this particular song for us and so when it started to play I played close attention to the words.
She took my hand and led me to the empty wooden dance floor. I wrapped my arms around her waist as she wrapped hers around my neck. She lifted her head, her eyes finding mine for a moment before laying her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and swayed along to the music listening as the song spoke of someone losing themselves to the person that was standing before them. The words of the song making me wonder if everything I’ve known my whole life to be about the heartache, the loss, and the constant sense of feeling like I’m inadequate if I could just let it all go. Would I be a better man? Could I rise above the labels I had self-imposed?
My hands subconsciously began to caress Nikki’s back as we continued to dance just as her fingertips tapped against the back of my neck. She lifted her head from my shoulder, looking up at me like I was everything to her. The look in her eyes so fucking believable that I did what I thought I was incapable of and started to let go of the demons that haunted me. I brought one of my hands around lifting the back of my hand so that my knuckles softly caressing her cheek before I leaned down and brought my mouth to hers. I kissed her gently unlike all the times before when I was so desperate for her. This kiss was unhurried as I savored the moment my tongue gliding across hers sweeping through the recesses of her mouth touching every single crevice. Her lips were soft and full, her tongue still tangy from the lime and the tequila as she kissed me back following the rhythm I set.
I pulled back slowly watching as her eyes fluttered open and met mine. I didn’t know at which point of the song we had stopped dancing and simply stood in the center of the dance floor kissing or at what point Nikki had completely gutted me but both things did happen. I wanted her to ask me what the way to my heart was again because this time I had the answer I’d tell her all she had to do to win my heart was just be herself.
Just Nikki.
Everything she was everything she stood for was everything I wanted and needed to make me whole. She didn’t ask me though, and I didn’t offer chalking it up to it being best if I kept that to myself deciding I was doing her the ultimate favor by sparing her me and my heart.
I held onto Mikey for balance as he opened the door to Aunt Gina’s house. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to do all those shots, but I was desperate to make myself numb. I knew better than to try to drown my feelings in tequila yet still I opted for that over allowing myself to come to terms with what I was feeling for Mikey. I had only meant it as a joke when I had asked him what the way to his heart was but as the words slipped from my mouth I instantly wondered the answer to my question. I stared into his eyes and expected a real answer because in that moment I realized that he had already stolen my heart.
I couldn’t tell you when or even how but looking at Mikey tonight being in his arms I knew it, I felt it I was in love with him. I wasn’t just harboring a crush for him anymore I actually loved him. I wanted to throw up and not from the alcohol but because I allowed myself to fall in love with him so easily. I wondered if I had ever even had my guard up at all when it came to him. How could I not see that this was going to happen? How did I let it happen?
I groaned loudly smacking the palm of my hand to my forehead as we walked inside the house. I was such a moron. One day I’d learn to keep my heart under lock and key.
One day.
Just not today.
Or tomorrow.
Or the day after that.
“Are you okay? Do you need to throw up?” Mikey asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yes,” I mumbled wishing I could throw up all over his shoes just because he had wiggled his sexy self into my heart.
“Yes, you’re okay or yes, you have to throw up?” he asked as he peered at me trying to decipher the answer to his question himself.
I looked at him for a moment before I shook my head as if I could shake my love for him away. Fat chance Nikki.
“I’m fine,” I said, turning around placing my clutch on the entryway table. I picked up his phone the home screen had an alert of missed calls and I wondered who could’ve called him while we were out.
“Right. You’re fine,” he paused. “For fuck’s sake, you’re not fine Nikki. I may not know much about woman, but when they say they’re fine that is usually a dead giveaway that they’re not,” he said his voice sounding annoyed which pissed me off and made me forget all about his damn phone. I dropped it back on the table and turned around to face him.
“I guess you don’t know much about women then because I’m fine,” I hissed stepping out of my shoes. I glanced around the quiet house anxiously trying to find a distraction from where this conversation was headed. “Are they home?”
He looked around the empty house. “No,” he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I doubt Aunt Gina will be home any time soon if Burt got his hands on Chuck’s happy pills.”
“Happy pills?” I asked.
“Viagra,” he confirmed. My eyes widened and then I shuddered at the thought. “Yeah, he had big plans for her,” he said softly, glancing down at his feet.
I studied him closely, seeing the inner struggle he was fighting making me feel sorry for him. I had no right to be angry with him. It’s not like I had confessed my love for him and he shut me out. I just feared that if I told him how I felt he wouldn’t be able to love me back. I wasn’t even sure I could fault him for that maybe he was just incapable of loving anyone and not only me. He had been through a lot losing both his parents had to have some effect on him too bad it was his heart that was affected. I think I would’ve preferred if his dick were really broken and not have his heart be the casualty. I pondered that last part and shook my head. No, I definitely didn’t want his dick to be broken, it just sucked that his heart was defected.
“I’m sorry for acting like a bitch,” I said, taking a step closer to him.
“You weren’t being a bitch,” he said sighing. “I feel like there’s an elephant in the room that we’re trying to ignore.”
I definitely wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation to pour my heart out to have it ripped apart nope I’d pass. I glanced down at his crotch for a diversion.
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” I said, plastering a smile on my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled back a fraction looking into my eyes as he spoke.
“Nikki…,”
“Mikey, I don’t want to talk,” I said, swallowing the lump that was clogging my throat. I met his gaze wi
th a pleading look. “Please,” I whispered.
He was quiet for a moment before he exhaled and gave me a slight nod.
“Okay,” he said softly, and I waited for him to kiss me, but instead he bent his knees and lifted me into his arms. “No talking,” he promised.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me up the stairs to the guest room we had spent all our nights together. He placed me on my feet, his eyes bore into mine for a pause before his hands lifted to my shoulders and he turned me around so my back was to him. His fingertips brushed my hair over my shoulder, his soft touch sending goosebumps throughout my body as he pulled at the bow that tied my romper together.
I felt his lips touch the back of my neck, spreading featherlike kisses across my shoulders as his hands worked the sleeves of my romper down my arms. I closed my eyes, my body leaning into his as his hands worked delicately at exposing the upper half of my body. He turned me in arms, taking a step back to look at me, his eyes traveling from mine down to my breasts that felt heavy under his intense stare.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” he murmured as he pulled his T-Shirt off over his head chucking it to the side before closing the distance between us. “Maybe there is someone up there looking out for me after all,” he said huskily. His mouth dipped closing over the nape of my neck as he bent his knees and began to trail his open mouth down to my chest. His arms were wrapped around my waist, taking one of my nipples into his mouth, but unlike all the other times when he devoured them this time he took his time. He was gentle as his tongue lapped at my nipple his lips closing over the turgid point sucking slightly before his hot breath blew across it tantalizing me.
I combed my fingers through his hair as he started to tug at the rest of the one piece that was bunched around my waist. I shimmied my hips, helping him push the material down my legs. I stepped out of the outfit as he stood to his full height. I suddenly felt uncomfortable standing there nude under his scrutiny, not because I was self-conscious of my body, but because of the way, he looked at me like I was it for him that I was enough to hold on to him.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 24
