I noticed the dark shadows beneath her tired eyes and my mind flashed back to last night when I stared into those same eyes as she sang.
“You…” I whispered, cocking my head to the side as I ran my thumb along her lower lip.
“What about me?” she whispered breathlessly.
“You sang to me.”
“I didn’t know what do,” she confessed, glancing away as if what she did to ease me was ridiculous. If she only knew her lullaby soothed my soul and chased away my demons. If she only knew that it was exactly what I needed, a sweet melody to ease my conscience.
I wanted to tell her she fixed me without even trying. I wanted to tell her the dream I had, the words the ghost of my son whispered to me—but I didn’t deserve the peace she brought to me.
I tipped her chin with my finger and forced her to look at me.
“It was perfect. You are perfect,” I insisted, leaning my forehead against hers. “I’m fucked Reina, in more ways than one. I’m a madman who rides on the wrong side of the tracks. I’m a thrill seeker and a disaster. I’m a man who lives as a prisoner to his own mind but when I’m good, when my head works, I’m a loyal son of a bitch. I’ve done a lot of shit, hurt a lot of people. I’m warning you, I’ll probably hurt you, may have already, but I’m a selfish motherfucker because even knowing all these things, it doesn’t stop me from wanting you. I should tell you to get on with your life. I should spare you of everything I am and everything I will inflict on you but I won’t do that,” I declared.
“What was it you told me the first time you came to my apartment?” she asked, leaning back a little so she could look at me.
“What’d I say?” I queried, diverting my eyes to the way she arched against me.
“You said, that my…” she leaned closer, wrapping her arms around my neck as she lifted her hips off of my lap and rocked them against me deliberately, her mouth moving to my ear as she whispered the rest of my words. “…pussy only gets wet for straight lace dicks.”
Her fingers found the hem of my t-shirt and she worked it over my abs.
“You were wrong,” she hissed. “Lift your arms.”
I did as she told, eager to see where she was going with this and watched as she pulled my shirt over my head before chucking it over her shoulder and wrapping her arms around me. She leaned into me, eyes serious as she kissed me gently.
“I know what you are. I’ve seen what you stand for and have encountered the madness that inebriates you, and still I want you,” she rasped.
“Gonna hold you to that, Sunshine. Gonna make you remember those words even after the ugly,” I swore, my hands sliding down her petite frame to her ass and squeezing her cheeks. “Got a lot of ugly you don’t know about yet,” I confessed. “But I will give it all to you. I’ll give you the ugly but I’ll give you a ton of good too, you just gotta remember those words. You need to remember you want me despite the ugly.”
“That’s easy,” she declared, pulling her shirt over her head and letting it join mine before she reached behind her to unclasp her bra. “Showed you my ugly, and you still wanted me, pretty sure I can reciprocate.”
I glanced down at her hip, pressing my fingers into the puckered flesh before lifting my eyes to her.
“You’re fucking beautiful, Reina. Not a damn ugly thing about you,” I growled. “Don’t you forget that,” I ordered, flipping her onto the bed, I leaned over her and undid the button of her jeans, pulling them down her legs.
I watched as she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and shimmied the lace down her legs, kicking them off, exposing herself to me.
“You’re beautiful, Jack Parrish, broken and beautiful and I wouldn’t change a thing about you,” she said, as she crooked her finger beckoning me toward her. “You make a broken girl like me feel beautiful.”
I kneeled onto the bed, nudged her legs apart and crawled between them.
“So fucking beautiful, Sunshine,” I hissed, while she pushed my sweats down my legs, reaching into my boxer briefs and wrapping her fingers around my cock.
“Remember when I said you were mine?”
“I remember,” she said, licking her lips. “Asked for you to be mine too and you gave me your cut.” Her voice dripped with annoyance.
“You still want me to be yours?” I asked, fisting her hair as I slid the head of my cock against the entrance of her wet pussy.
“Don’t toy with me Jack, don’t make me say the words and you hand me your leathers again,” she warned, arching her hips, grinding herself against my cock.
“Hand you my soul, Sunshine, would that be enough?” I asked, releasing her hair and cupping her chin in my hand. “Give you everything I am, everything I got, you be my old lady.”
I thrusted into her heat and her pussy instantly clenched around my cock making it hard for me to move in and out of her. It was a game, a power trip, a test to see who would win.
“Your old lady?” she gasped as I grunted, slipping out of her.
“Means you’re mine,” I hissed, taking one of her nipples into my mouth, grazing my teeth over the nub. “Means you’re Property of Parrish in the eyes of the club—saying you’re my old lady is as good as a gold band on your finger,” I whispered, pushing back inside of her, filling her to the hilt and chuckling when her body went perfectly still. “Not proposing, Reina. Just not demanding you’re mine and asking instead, so, what do you say? You gonna be my old lady?”
She wrapped her legs around my waist, locking her ankles behind me.
“So you’re asking me to be your girlfriend?” she questioned, reaching between us and grabbing my balls.
“Christ,” I hissed. “Haven’t asked someone to be my girlfriend since I was fucking thirteen,” I grunted. She raised an eyebrow in question, dropping her hand from my balls and squeezing my cock with her pussy. “Yeah, Sunshine, I’m asking you to be my girlfriend.”
Her hold on me loosened, and I moved, rotating my hips, sliding in and out of her leisurely. She wrapped her arms around my neck and looked into my eyes, into the soul of a madman but in that moment neither of us seemed broken or damaged. I wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t scarred. We were just Jack and Reina, two lost souls who found relief in one another.
But I would always be Jack ‘Bulldog’ Parrish, a man at the mercy of his maker. My maker, my mind, will always taunt me.
“It’s all going to come crashing down,” my maker whispered.
“You’re going to lose her,” my mind taunted.
“She’s going to hate you for lying to her,” my conscience screamed.
“You stupid prick, thought you could have something as light as her when you’re destined to live in darkness,” the devil sounded.
“Lights out motherfucker,” my own voice living inside my head whispered.
“Say you’ll be my old lady, Reina. Promise me you’ll stick with me,” I ground out, lifting her leg over my shoulder and pounding desperately into her.
“Jack,” she gasped, meeting me thrust for thrust.
“Say it,” I growled, giving it to her harder, feeling her lose herself around me.
“I’ll be your old lady,” she shouted, as her body convulsed beneath me. Her nails dug into my shoulders as she arched into me, shouting my name as she came, her sweetness drenching my cock.
She sang me a lullaby to heal my soul and now she gave me the words that mended my heart. I pressed my mouth to hers, slipped my tongue inside and made love to her mouth the way my cock loved her pussy. I couldn’t take it anymore, one more thrust and I was coming, chanting my woman’s name like it was a goddamn prayer.
I was mad.
But I never knew there could be a good madness, one I didn’t have to fight.
I was mad about Reina, crazy for her and I didn’t have to fight against it, just fight for it. I pulled out of her, harshly breathing as I stared down at her.
“We’re in this together, Reina, whatever comes, remember you’re mine now. I don
’t take that lightly and I sure as hell don’t let what’s mine slip through my fingers without a fight,” I warned her.
“Together,” she affirmed, lifting her head to kiss my lips delicately, before dropping her head back onto the pillow beaming up at me. “You’re mine,” she squealed in delight. “I never saw you coming, Jack Parrish, not in a million years but I’m so glad you walked into Dee’s Diner and ordered a slice of pie,” she added, giving me another kiss.
“Me too,” I whispered, the guilt distressing me like a cancer corroding my body. I pulled away, throwing my legs over the bed and threaded my fingers roughly through my hair. “There’s sweats in the drawers you can wear. I’ll make us breakfast.”
“Worked up an appetite?” she teased, sitting up and plucking my t-shirt from my hands. She slipped it over her head as I pulled on my sweats.
Time’s up, motherfucker.
I glanced at Reina and knew the voice inside my head was right. It was time to give her the truth.
“Got one more scar for you, Reina,” I whispered. “One more truth to give you,” I said, rising to my feet. “I’ll be downstairs,” I continued, walking out of the bedroom and away from my happiness.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Happiness.
It’s a nightmare disguised as one of the most beautiful dreams. We all wake up eventually—we’re all robbed of the lie, the false pretense of believing we can be happy. I didn’t know what Jack was about to tell me but I knew whatever it was threatened to ruin what we were building. I knew this because it was right there in the depths of his eyes, the fear that his words, his last scar, would destroy us.
I found him standing in the living room, his hands on his hips, every cord in his arms on display. He was shirtless and all his tattoos that covered his tan skin told his story. I studied the ink, wondering which of the masterpieces was the missing link that would end us. He frowned as he stared at the holes decorating the walls of the room. He diverted his eyes to me, his lips forming a straight line as he stared at me thoughtfully.
How do you share the truth you know is about to ruin everything? Where do you begin when you’re delivering the end?
“You see these holes?” he asked, tipping his chin toward the Sheetrock, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he did. “They’re a reminder of the day Junior died. I never patched them, just hung photos, art, whatever worked, so that when I need to remember what I’m capable of, they’re there. After today they’ll be a reminder of the lies,” he said, turning his body to mine holding out a hand for me to take.
“You’re scaring me,” I admitted, stepping toward him and placing my hand in his. He bent down and kissed my hand before giving it a squeeze. “Jack, whatever it is, just say it. It won’t change anything,” I said, swallowing.
He smiled sadly. “It changes everything, Sunshine,” he whispered, dropping my hand and running his fingers through his hair angrily.
“I lost my fucking mind the day my son died and not the way you think. Yeah, I had a breakdown, I guess they’re all the same after a while so you can imagine the state I was in,” he said, struggling to get the words out. “But that day, there was a trigger, something set me off,” he scratched at the stubble lining his jaw. “That was the day I found out my brother was going to be a federal agent,” he said, his eyes searching my face.
I leaned against the back of the couch and looked at him, waiting for him to continue, prepping myself for the blow as I held onto the back of the couch. He cocked his head to the side, a flicker of surprise flashed across his features before he licked his lips and continued.
“It was my weekend with the kids and I paid no mind, no attention to their scared faces as I tore this house apart. I ignored Lacey’s cries, forgot they were even there, I was crazed and determined to find the wire taps I was sure he hid in my house. Why else would my brother become an agent if not to put me away? He knew what the patch that read one percent on my cut meant. I was an outlaw, and he was disgusted by it. He never minded the money though. Money, I earned illegally is what got him that fancy degree he used to get into the bureau,” he sneered, sucking in a harsh breath.
“I’m sorry your brother went against you like that,” I offered, reaching out and running my hand along his arm.
“He never showed up to my kid’s funeral, never saw his sorry ass until I was in Ryker’s doing some bullshit bid. The minute I saw him in the visitor’s room I thought he was there to gloat, but it wasn’t the case. He was never out to get me or bring my club to its knees like I thought. He came to tell me they assigned him to some RICO case or unit, I don’t even remember, to be honest. Anyway, little brother had bigger fish to fry and wanted to bring the mob down. He came to Ryker’s to tell me he was changing his last name. He didn’t want to risk his career by being associated with me,” he said, pausing for a moment. He reached out, wrapped a strand of my hair around his finger and watched as it slowly unraveled.
He leaned into me, cupped my face in the palms of his hands and bent his head a fraction so his lips could glide over mine. It was a soft kiss, just a test of how my lips felt against his. He pulled back slightly and his eyes darkened as they stared into mine.
“Daniel Parrish became Daniel Gregorio,” he said finally.
I watched his lips as he said the words but even as I read his lips, my ears played tricks on me because what I heard couldn’t be true. I lifted my eyes to his, and the truth slammed into me, punching me in the gut, stopping my heart for a moment.
His eyes exposed his truth.
“I’m Danny’s brother,” he whispered. “I’m your Danny’s brother.”
“You’re lying,” I accused, shaking my head in disbelief.
“No more lies, Sunshine,” he whispered hoarsely.
“Stop it,” I demanded, retreating backward. “You’re lying because my Danny didn’t have a brother. His parents died, and he was an only child.”
“Our parents died and he might as well have been an only child because we didn’t have much of a relationship after they passed.”
I shook my head adamantly, wondering why he’d do this. Why would he bring up Danny, and in such a way?
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, feeling my eyes fill with tears.
“I didn’t speak to him after that day. Three years and not a word then Victor Pastore asked me for a favor. The Fed’s dug up a body and threatened to take Vic and his organization down. Victor asked me to take care of the Fed and I agreed because that Fed he was gunning for was Danny. I had no doubt that if I didn’t agree to help Victor, he’d have someone else do it and I was the only person who could save Danny. He sent Bianci with me to do the job and I confessed the truth to him. I told him Danny was my brother and I wasn’t going to kill him. My plan was to get him to shut down his investigation,” he said, pausing to give me a moment to process his words.
My head was spinning, still processing Jack was Danny’s brother and trying to comprehend that Danny was a Fed.
“He was a financial investor,” I whispered.
“He was a federal agent,” he insisted.
“You were going to kill your own brother?” I questioned. Even if what he said was true, and Danny was his brother, he was going to kill him. What kind of monster was I in love with?
“No, I wasn’t. I swear on my son; I would never kill Danny. I struck a deal with Bianci, he would tell Victor I took care of the problem,” he explained. “But I was too fucking late. I was too late because when I got there his house was already up in flames.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, lifting my hand to my mouth to cover the gasp that escaped but I couldn’t hide my tears as realization set in.
“Reina…” he whispered, stepping closer.
“You were there,” I cried, dropping my hand. “You saw the fire…you knew!”
He shook his head.
“Not at first, not then. I didn’t know until that first night I came to Dee’s. I had no idea you existed,” he adm
itted.
“You knew all along. You knew everything,” I whispered in shock.
“I knew you were his girlfriend. I knew you were with him in that fire, that you were hospitalized but that’s it. Bianci convinced me to go to you, to grill you for information. He made me think that you could give me closure or maybe I could give you some. But one fucking look at you and I couldn’t do it. You wouldn’t even look at me, Reina. For fuck’s sake you took five weeks to tell me your name and by that time it wasn’t about Danny, it was all about you. It didn’t matter you were his, the instant you looked up at me and told me your name you weren’t his anymore because you were mine,” he shouted. “Look at me, Reina,” he pleaded. “Yeah, I thought you were some high-class bitch and yeah, I planned on using you to get information on Danny but that shit faded away. It faded real fucking quick,” he said, reaching for me but I quickly moved away from him.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking look at me that way either,” I yelled through my tears.
“What way? Tell me how I’m looking at you,” he ordered.
“Like you’re losing everything,” I sneered.
“Sure, as fuck feels like I am when you look at me the way you are,” he growled.
“Fuck you, Jack,” I said, wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands. “I never thought I’d be able to be with someone. I lived in hell since the fire and then you come charging into my life and I felt things I had never felt in my entire life. Your friend was right, you gave me closure, but you gave me a shitload of deceit too,” I struggled, trying to get my head together. “I opened up to you,” I whispered.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 77
