When Adrianna and I decided to open a second location, we both became involved in our community. She often accompanied me to the gym and took part in the boxing lessons. While she left the semantics of the sport to me, she openly shared her story as the daughter of a mobster. Together we got deeply involved in the community and we realized the more work we put in, the broader our story became. Our children would one day learn we weren’t just two good Samaritans running a gym. They too would learn the details of the struggles that brought us here. With that in mind, we made a pact to never hide who we are or where we came from to our children. If they asked questions, they’d get real answers.
Truth has always been the foundation of how we parent. It may be easier to tell a lie and let them believe we’re perfect but, it’s more gratifying to give them our flaws and have them love us in spite of them. Luca knows I’ve made mistakes, he knows I’ve done bad things and that I wake up every morning trying to repent for my sins. I think even at his young age and though he sometimes dislikes sharing his dad with random kids; he appreciates the work I do. My hope for him is that he will one day find a passion he too can share with people less fortunate.
Maybe, just maybe, that passion will be boxing too.
He’s got a real talent for it and three times a week, Adrianna drops him at the gym after school. It’s the best part of my day, the time I look forward to most. I sometimes get carried away and let myself imagine him in a ring, winning a championship. Man, wouldn’t that be something?
“Dad,” he calls, interrupting my thoughts. Turning my attention back to him, I watch him steady the heavy bag with one gloved hand. Lifting his free hand, he swipes the sweat from his forehead.
“Sorry,” I say, offering him a bottle of water. Twisting the cap off, he tosses his head back and chugs the water. Laying a hand on his shoulder, I grin at him.
“You went hard on that bag.”
Bringing the bottle down from his lips he looks at me for a moment.
“Do you think I can be as good as Rocky Marciano?”
“I think you can be better,” I reply honestly.
Draping my arm across his shoulders, I lead him out of the ring. Taking a seat on one of the benches, I lean my elbows on my knees and draw in a deep breath.
“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” I start, glancing at him.
Pulling at the tape around his hands, he lifts his gaze to mine.
“Is this about the math test? I already told mom that I didn’t purposely leave the study sheet at school.”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “It’s about the phone call you made to me and the man you saw your mother talking to before you came here.”
He looks down at his hands.
“What about him?”
Through the years, I often wondered how this conversation might go. The things I’d say, and the response Luca would have. One would think having years to prepare would make the words come easier but as I stare into the eyes of my twelve-year-old son, I’m lost for words.
“Dad?”
“I love you,” I say hoarsely. The outburst causes him to raise an eyebrow and treat me to the lopsided grin I love so much,
“Um, I love you too,” he replies with a laugh.
“I know that.”
Pausing, I draw in a deep breath and decide there isn’t a script for moments like this. These truths, they come from the heart.
“Being your father is the biggest blessing I’ve ever been granted,” I continue, finding his eyes. They’re identical to Vinny’s but what they convey—the love and respect—that’s all me. “You made me a better man. You taught me how to be a father just by being mine. Mine to love, mine to teach and mine to watch grow. I am so proud of you and even prouder to be the man you call dad.”
“Okay, this is getting weird,” Luca says.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, running my fingers through my hair. “This is coming out all wrong.”
“Well, you always tell me and Victoria to speak our minds and not hold back when it comes to our family so, just say whatever is on your mind.”
“You know why I opened the gym, right?”
“Yeah, you want to help kids stay out of trouble so, they don’t end up in jail like you did,” he answers.
It’s rough hearing him say that but, I shake it off.
“Yeah,” I say with a nod. “Those three years I spent in there were the worse years of my life and not just because I was trapped in a cell but because I left your mother. I broke her heart, Luca, and all these years later, I still won’t forgive myself for the heartache my poor decisions caused her.”
“But you guys are okay now, right? I mean you love each other and she forgave you.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t change what I did back then. It doesn’t erase the fact that I pushed her away. She would come to visit me, and I would send her away. At the time, I didn’t think the love I felt for her was enough. I thought she deserved better than me and to be fair, she probably still deserves better but, no one will ever love her like I do. I’m sure of that.”
Sighing, I place my hand on his shoulder.
“Anyway, during that time we were apart, your mom met the man you saw today.”
“So, she does know him! I knew it.”
“He kept her company while I was gone. He made it so that she wasn’t so lonely anymore and more than that that man gave both your mother and I the greatest gift of all.”
My voice catches and I struggle to swallow the emotions clogging my throat.
“He gave us you. That man, his name is Vinny, and he is your biological father.”
His eyes widen at first but quickly narrow in confusion.
“You’re not my dad?”
Squeezing his shoulder, I move closer and my heart stops when I see the tears in his eyes.
“Luca, I’ve always been and always will be your dad but, Vinny made that possible. He trusted me and your mom to love and care for you in all the ways he couldn’t because, like me, Vinny made mistakes in his life.”
“If it doesn’t change anything and you’re still my dad why are you telling me this?”
“Because I don’t want there to be lies between us. I never want you to look back and resent me for not telling you but, Luca, with this truth, comes another one, one that you already know...you are my son. You hear me? I am your father. The man who watched you enter this world and held you when you were just minutes old. The man who taught you how to ride a bike and throw a ball. It’s you and me kid, since day one, it’s been you and me and that’s how it will be forever—”
“Dad,” he interjects.
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to plead your case.”
Swallowing, I look at him quietly for a moment before he mimics my gesture and places his reassuring hand on my shoulder. The tears that filled his eyes a moment ago have somehow vanished, and a smile stretches across his lips.
“What do you know about pleading a case?” I ask.
“Not much,” he admits. “But I know I don’t need a list of reasons that make you my dad.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because I remember everything. All the times you were there for me and all the things you’ve taught me. I’ve never once felt unloved. I know I’m your son in all the ways that count.”
It’s my tears that slip from the corners of my eyes as I reach for him. The whole gym is probably staring at us but I don’t give a fuck. I’ve got my son, and that’s all that matters.
“I love you, Luca.”
“I love you too, dad. Thanks for telling me the truth.”
“Always.”
Being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but, having this kids love—being his father—it’s everything.
He’s everything.
Uncontrollable Temptations: Jack & Reina Parrish
Chapter One
Reina
I’m sure there is a woman ou
t there somewhere better suited for the role as first lady of my husband’s motorcycle club but, there is no one who could possibly love the mighty ruler of the Satan’s Knights more than I do. There is no one who accepts him and understands his struggles better than me and it’s those things, paired with my undying love for the fractured and flawed Jack Parrish that has me knocking on Grace Pastore’s door.
As a woman who lived in the shadows of one of the most notorious gangsters, our generation will ever see, I often turn to Grace for guidance. It’s in her confidence that I allow myself to express my deepest fears. She lends me her ear and never judges. On occasion, she shares with me her own stories, the times in her life when she struggled being a mobster’s wife and the fears she had for her daughters. It’s during these visits, I learn how to be the pillar of strength my husband needs. It’s also the only place I let myself grieve the loss of Jack’s mental stability.
In the years since we’ve married, he’s slowly lost his grip on his mental illness. There is no heartache quite like watching the person you love fade from reality. In the early days, the sound of my voice or the mere touch of my hand was enough to bring Jack back from the edge. However, the years haven’t been kind to my husband and his club. The strain of his dictatorship has proved to be too much for his fragile mind and his maker has strengthened her game. The vicious bitch is slowly killing the man I love and all the Lithium in the world can’t fix him.
Opening the door, Grace smiles instantly at the sight of me. The creases in the corners of her eyes lift as her dull eyes flicker with light. It’s warm and inviting and makes me wonder if she looks forward to our visits as much as I do. Maybe she needs to tell her story as much as I need to hear it.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d make it today with the weather,” she says, stepping aside to allow me room to enter her home. It’s much too big for her but, she will never part with the extravagant house her husband loved so much.
Shuffling my snow-covered boots on the rug, I smile at her.
“It’s just a little snow,” I say, removing my coat.
“A little snow? Reina, the news is reporting thirteen inches,” she laughs, closing the door. “Please thank Jack for sending a few of the fellas to shovel for me. He doesn’t have to do that. Anthony and Michael would’ve made their way here after they were done with their own homes.”
Taking her hand, I give it a squeeze. Her gaze finds mine and we smile knowingly at one another. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since Victor’s death, the promise my husband made to him will burn until he joins his friend. Jack will always look out for Grace. Not just because she’s Vic’s widow but because she’s property of Parrish and that’s a forever kind of thing.
“You’re family, Grace,” I remind her. “There are no thanks required.”
“It’s too much,” she argues, leading me into her lush home. “Last week, he showed up to take my car for tires.”
“I heard about that,” I admit. “He wishes you would get rid of the car and get a new one.”
“It works just fine.”
While that may be true, I know she won’t part with that car for the very same reasons she lives in this monstrosity of a house all by herself. Truthfully, as much as I hate to think of life without Jack, I can almost picture Blackie arguing with me to get a new car and me, giving him the same response as Grace gives Jack. When all you have are your memories and the superficial things left behind, you hold on tight. You never let go because it’s like losing that person all over again.
Entering the kitchen, I take a seat at the marble breakfast nook and watch as Grace fills our coffee mugs. She always adds a little Sambuca to the espresso and garnishes it with a lemon peel. I hate espresso but, I drink it anyway and ask for a refill, hoping one day when I place a freshly baked cherry pie in front of my visitor, they graciously accept it too.
“How’s Daniel?”
At the mention of my son, my lips curve into a smile.
“He’s perfect. Jack signed him up for baseball and he’s excited for the season to begin,” I share, taking a sip of the strong coffee. “Blackie and Lacey bought him season tickets to the Yankees for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face when he opens their present,” I add, setting my cup down. “Which reminds me, we’re having cake on Sunday.”
“I’ll be there,” she replies, pausing for a beat. “How did Jack’s doctor’s appointment go?”
Glancing down at the lemon peel, I draw in a deep breath.
“They want to change his meds,” I rasp.
“And how do you feel about that?”
“It doesn’t matter how I feel about it, it’s the only option he has,” I admit, lifting my eyes to hers. “The side effects scare me to death but if he doesn’t take it, I fear he’ll lose his mind altogether.”
Folding my hands, I stare back at her.
“Especially with the Feds breathing down his back.”
“Rats,” she hisses.
Part of me wants to laugh at the outburst but, I don’t have it in me. There are three fears that consume me. The first being, Jack loses his life violently and never comes home to me. The second, he loses his mind and remains trapped in his body. Finally, the third fear is him getting locked up, knowing very well if that happens, the second is likely to occur as well. Sadly, all those fears are very strong possibilities these days and I am having a hard time accepting we might be living and loving on borrowed time.
“I know I need to remain strong for him,” I explain. “That, I can’t let him see I’m breaking or else he’ll break too but, Grace it’s becoming impossible. I lay in bed every night, wondering if the next day will be our last. The doorbell rings and I flinch, expecting it to be the Feds there to take him from me.”
Sighing, she lays her hand on mine.
“I want to beg him to leave it all behind, to turn the club over to Blackie and be done with it but, that will never happen. The only way Jack will give up on his club is if he’s certain he can no longer lead to the best of his ability. He’ll continue sacrificing his sanity for the oath he took, and I can’t even be mad about it because his loyalty is part of who he is, and I fell in love with all of him. The broken parts he can’t control and the heart that’s too big for his own good.”
“Hold it right there,” she interjects. “You’re entitled to be angry, Reina and don’t for one minute tell yourself otherwise. Do you think after my husband turned himself in, I wasn’t mad? I was furious, and I resented him but, he never knew that. You see, women like you and me, we get mad but, we know our place. It takes a certain type of woman to love a man like Jack. A strong woman. An independent woman who will be just fine carrying her husband’s burdens because the love he gave her throughout their time together was so profound it compared to nothing else in her life. It wasn’t chance that made you fall in love with Jack, it was fate. It was God. It was a divine intervention.”
“I want to believe you, Grace but, I don’t know if I’m as strong as you.”
“Well, I know for certain you are,” she says. “I have watched you stand in the shadows of your husband. I’ve watched you count his pills and set the table for his brothers. Like me, you navigated your way through this life and found your place and like Victor, Jack is a better man for it. The world might not see that, those rat bastards may be itching to lock him up and throw away the key but you and I, the people we love, all of us know the real Jack Parrish. The man beneath the leather vest, the man who leaves the gavel on the table and plays baseball with his son. The man who traded in his jeans for a tuxedo because his daughter wanted him to walk her down the aisle. The man who tattooed his grandchildren’s names to his fingers in fear his mind would fail him and he’d forget. The man who sends a fleet of his best to shovel a widow out of her house in a blizzard. The man who will lay his life and his mind on the line to protect the people he cares about. He is that man because of you. You are the strength that allows Jack to evolve and whatever happens,
whether he loses his battle with his mind or the law, it will be you who carries him through that darkness.”
“And, when there is no more darkness to carry him through then what?”
“Then you hang on tight to the memories of the greatest love you’ve ever known. You look forward to the days when Lacey visits you and asks you for your guidance and when Blackie shows up on your doorstep to take your car for tires, you smile to yourself because you know your husband made sure there would always be someone there to look after you.”
Wiping my tears, I nod.
“Enjoy the time you have,” she rasps. “Stop waiting for it to end. Go home and make your husband that pie he loves so much,” she adds, diverting her eyes to the espresso. A faint smile ticks the corners of her lips and I reach for my empty cup.
“Can I have another?” I ask through my cries.
Reaching for the silver carafe, she fills my tiny cup. I watch as she adds the shot of Sambuca before the garnish of lemon. Lifting it to my lips, I force a smile as realization dawns on me.
“To Vic,” I salute.
“To Vic,” she repeats, raising her own cup.
A great man who is missed terribly by so many.
A powerful man who stood tall because of the woman who stood proudly at his side.
A woman who carried her husband in his darkest days.
The same woman who now carries his legacy through the light.
Uncontrollable Temptations: Jack & Reina Parrish
Chapter Two
Jack Parrish
The years haven’t been all that kind to me. After Victor passed away, and he left his nephew Rocco in charge, my club and his organization struggled to stay afloat. It seemed like every rival organization or motorcycle club on the east coast had put a target on our backs. I didn’t know which way to turn, how to lead or who to strike. All I knew was that I was responsible for a lot of lives and despite my best efforts not everyone would survive. I lost some of my brothers and I watched one of my dearest friends bury his wife. Blood was shed, lives were changed and, secrets became uncovered.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 197
