I turned just inside the bathroom door and said “Bentley, there’s another bathroom down the hall to the right if you’d like a shower. I’m hoping you’ll stay for breakfast.” I smiled one of my signature heart-melting grins and shut the bathroom door. Who could say no to that?
While I hurried through my shower, I could only wonder what was happening with my big brother and my friend in my bedroom. Last night with Bentley had been amazing. The connection we had was more than just lust. There was something between us that neither of us wanted to acknowledge just yet. But everything about him drove me wild. His touch, his taste, his smell.
I jumped out of the shower before I ended up taking care of the ache between my legs that last night had left and threw some clothes on, arranging my hair in a messy bun to get to the kitchen sooner.
When I strolled out, Trey and Bentley were sitting at the breakfast bar talking like they were old friends. Not only that, but they were speaking some website jargon that both of them seemed to understand; although, it could have been Greek for all I knew. It wasn’t the type of thing that interested me. Seeing them both sitting there like that, I had to wonder if they knew each other. It certainly seemed like it, but I wasn’t about to pry; at least not right now.
“What ‘cha boys want for breakfast?” I asked, rummaging through the cupboards for skillets. “I’ve got eggs, bacon, bagels, Captain Crunch, you name it!” I liked to keep a fully-stocked fridge. Being a foodie, cooking developed into one of my favorite hobbies. Almost simultaneously, they both said “bagel.” It was a boring choice but if that’s what they wanted, I’d make it.
“Bagels it is boys. You’re going easy on me this morning. Butter? Cream cheese? Jam?”
The boys made their choices of bagel toppings while talking about a website business deal, a totally foreign subject to me. All I could hear was, “blah blah blah.”
Bentley got up to leave once everyone was finished eating and I followed him into the breezeway. I wanted to talk to him without Trey breathing down my neck, or trying to eavesdrop.
“Thank you for staying with me,” I said shyly.
“The pleasure was all mine. That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages, what there was of it Thank you for letting me stay,” he replied with a big smile on his face.
“I’m heading up to my parents until tomorrow. Maybe we can do something when I get back?” Realizing that might have been a bit presumptuous, I added, “Don’t worry about answering me now. Just e-mail me.” I wanted to leave the ball in his court, while letting him know where my head was.
He bent down and kissed me as passionately as he had the previous night. The chemistry was undeniable. We said our goodbyes and he was gone.
He walked down the hall and I turned to go face my brother.
The drive from my downtown apartment to my parents’ house in Cambridge was barely fifteen minutes, but it seemed to take forever in the tense company of my overprotective big brother. I had to try to set the record straight before we got to my parents’. I didn’t want him to spread the word to my other brothers.
“Trey, it’s not what you think at all. It was just late and I didn’t want him walking back across town at four in the morning. We’re just friends.” I braced myself for the fight I knew was coming.
“I believe you, Scrappy. I just... I know him and it was... strange. I overreacted. I’m sorry.” Even though I had my suspicions, his words caught me off guard. He knows him? I think I would much rather they be strangers. The only consolation was that maybe I could use my brother’s knowledge to get to know the man who was still very much a mystery to me.
“You know him?” I asked.
“Look Charlotte, he’s bad news. He’s not a good guy and he’s definitely not the type of man I want to see you get involved with. I want better for my little sister.” He was lecturing me.
“The strangest thing is that he was still there this morning,” Trey continued. “He’s usually more of the ‘bang and bounce’ type.”
“We did not have sex! I’m not that kind of girl,” I shrieked. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, livid with my brother for implying I was nothing more than some bar bimbo looking for a good time. Not only that, but the thought of my brother talking about me having sex made me want to vomit.
“That’s not what I meant Charlotte. Bentley has a reputation for kicking girls out after he’s done with them. He’s not the cuddling type and you guys looked pretty cuddly this morning.”
“Well that’s all that happened... cuddling. That’s it. Please don’t tell Jon and Christian,” I begged. I didn’t want to be at my parents’ house to begin with. The last thing I needed was to catch shit from all my brothers over this.
“Your secret is safe with me... for now,” Trey promised. Judging by the look in his eyes, I knew it would only be a matter of time before he told them. He was giving me the opportunity to tell everyone on my own, but I didn’t want to tell anyone anything yet. He didn’t understand that I had no idea where this thing between Bentley and me was going and there was nothing to tell until I did.
I didn’t want to over-think anything. We hadn’t been apart long but Bentley hadn’t emailed me to take me up on my offer to see him again, so I could only wonder if he regretted last night.
I planned to spend my day the same way I did every time my parents planned one of these large picnics for all their yuppie friends; by hiding as much as possible and trying to survive the day. I kept looking at my phone waiting for the e-mail I hoped would come. Nothing showed up. I was starting to believe what my brother had said, asking myself if last night was just a good time for Bentley? I wondered if he would lose interest because we didn’t have sex. He probably already had.
I walked towards my mother’s gardens when I felt my mood turning sour. Her gardens were amazing and had always been a quiet place for me, a place I could get lost in my own thoughts without the outside world bothering me. I rounded the corner and laid back on a small stone bench along the gravel path.
I continued to think about Bentley and talked myself out of emailing him a number of times. Maybe I should just forget about him altogether? It would probably be best anyway.
My heart skipped a beat when I noticed a gorgeous man with dark brown hair and a sparkling smile approaching me.
“Hi, I’m Landon,” he said. “And you are?”
“Charlotte Windsor,” I said, relieved that there was finally someone who appeared to be worth talking to. No more Senators and new residents from the hospital. No more people talking about their family and money, who they are and where they’re going. It was possible Landon could give me exactly what I needed; a decent, down to Earth conversation.
And that’s exactly what we had. A long conversation in the garden, hidden from the pressure and prying eyes of the party. We talked school and sports. The conversation was dominated by the subject of our majors. Being a history major and buff, I quizzed him on all the famous Boston sites and he was on point with most of the answers. He was definitely well-read.
Time slipped away from both of us and at dusk, the solar powered lights in the garden came to life, signaling us to return to the party since the fireworks display would start after sunset. We walked hand-in-hand to find a spot on the lawn. Through the nice chit-chat, he was trying to put the moves on me. Inching closer, putting his hand around the small of my back and moving his face extremely close to mine. All the actions of someone looking for a kiss, which was something I wouldn’t be giving him.
As much as a young, single woman would have loved to be in my shoes, I could only think about the man I had spent the night with just hours ago. I had this perfect man in front of me and I wanted the man I had no future with. It was a magical moment and Landon was exactly the kind of guy my parents encouraged me to date. So typical of my life.
Between the lack of communication from Bentley and the gorgeous man next to me, I was torn by the end of the night. Tonight, I was snuggled next
to a Boston dream-boat watching the fireworks, when hours before I had been wrapped in the arms of a tattooed bad boy. I wondered if Trey would have as much of an issue seeing me with Landon as he had seeing me in the same position with Bentley.
I went from being single since March and planning to stay that way through the summer, to two men wanting to spend time with me. I guess I could never rely on my own plans. It seemed that every time I tried to simplify my life, it got more complex and confusing. My past reminded me vividly that there was no such thing as perfect.
Landon and I said goodbye and exchanged numbers around eleven when the party started to come to an end.
Having stayed up until after four in the morning, I was beyond exhausted and ready for bed.
Normally, Shay came with me to my parents’ picnics. This time, she stayed home, saying she needed the time to get ready for her hot date. She rarely gave guys the time of day, but had no problem pointing out that a woman has needs and apparently it was time for Shay to take care of her needs. I was almost glad to be out of the apartment for the evening.
Around midnight I got a text message with a picture attached from Shay.
‘Mr. Tattoo ain’t so damn wonderful after all.’ read the caption.
When I opened the attachment, there was Bentley, sitting in the bar with his arm around some blonde, his hand resting right on her oversized fake tit. It didn’t matter that Trey had warned me earlier in the day, seeing Bentley living up to his playboy reputation was like a kick in the stomach. It had been doomed from the start for sure.
My entire body hurt; mainly my heart. I threw my phone and punched the pillow on my childhood bed. How could we have such an amazing night together and it mean completely nothing to him? My eyes started to water and I reached for my phone. As is sometimes my way when I’m upset, I didn’t think. Instead, I opened my e-mail and forwarded the picture to him with a short message.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Save My Time
Date: May 15 00:15
From: Charlotte A. Windsor
To save us both some time, don’t worry about e-mailing me to set up another date. I hope you enjoy your evening with Miss Fake Tits and be sure to use protection!
-Charlie
I wasn’t sure if my words would start World War III or if he’d even care, but it felt good to get them out. My hurt turned into fury. I didn’t need him, I didn’t need any man in my life, especially a man-whore. I had worked hard enough to restore my own reputation, I wouldn’t let a man drag it back through the mud. No fucking way!
I had just spent an amazing evening with Landon, I didn’t need to worry about someone like Bentley. Again, without thinking, I pulled out my phone, this time to send Landon a text message.
Had an amazing evening tonight, hope to see you soon. -- xoxo
I laid in my childhood bedroom staring at the canopy covering my antique queen-sized bed. I had loved this room as a little girl because it made me feel like a princess. The good memories of my younger years flooded into my mind, comforting me. My phone buzzing on the nightstand pulled me back into the present.
It was another text message from Shay.
Girl, what did you do? He just made a scene and ran out on Miss Fake Tits!
I laughed at the thought that he’d read my email and ran out on her. For the first time, I felt in control of the situation. I’d won this battle!
But what did I win? Did I even want anything to do with him knowing what I knew? Did I want to be with someone who could spend the night with me and then be out with someone else just hours later? That wasn’t cool at all. We weren’t exclusive but it was just plain tacky.
Landon: Can’t get you out of my mind, baby girl. Dinner this week?
Before I could respond to Landon, my e-mail popped up. With how out of control as my phone was, it was going to be another late night. This time, I figured it was going to be Bentley since he was the only person I had emailed.
To: Charlotte A . Windsor
Subject: I’m Sorry
Date: May 15 00:32
From: [email protected]
How did you know? Are you following me? I’m sorry. Please meet me. I really would like to explain this to you in person, not over e-mail.
I understand if you never want to see me again.
-B
I couldn’t believe how hurt I was by it all. My chest had a huge gaping hole in it. I’d let my guard down once again and had a man tap dance all over my heart. A single tear streamed down my cheek. I wasn’t sure if I should reply. He wanted to meet me, but I didn’t know if I could bear to see him without bursting into full-blown tears. This man had such a hold over me already. How was it possible that he already had my heart?
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hurt
Date: May 15 00:38
From: Charlotte A. Windsor
I don’t think I should see you right now. It would be against my better judgment. I know my parents would hear me leaving the house and I just can’t deal with them on top of this right now. Depending on how I feel tomorrow, I may make time for you then.
-Charlie
I knew I was doing the right thing. If I went to see him I was only going to end up more hurt than I already was. Maybe I should just forget about Bentley altogether and get on with my life. There are plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t need to date others behind my back, like Landon. Was I blowing things out of proportion? It wasn’t like we were dating. We’d just seen each other once. Yeah, it was steamy but we weren’t exclusive. Heck, I was with Landon tonight so I guess I couldn’t really be too upset about it all. I was doing basically the same thing. The difference was, I was doing it in the privacy of my parents’ home, not out on the town.
Maybe Landon could take my mind off of Bentley. I picked up the phone and texted him back, obviously a glutton for punishment.
I would love to. I’m free all week!
Damn, these men were really screwing with my head. So much for a summer as a single woman!
Plugging my headphones into my iPhone and turning on some Bob Marley, I drifted to sleep fighting with myself. In the morning I would go back home and do my best to enjoy my freedom for the summer.
Chapter 4
A Born Fuck Up
(Bentley)
I sat in the breezeway of Charlotte’s apartment all night long but she never came home. Shay made her way through the door around two in the morning and just gave me a look. “She ain’t coming home tonight,” she told me as she stepped around me. I got up to drag my sorry ass home. If there was a chance she might walk through that door, I would’ve camped there all night long.
Charlotte wouldn’t talk to me, she wouldn’t see me and she was ignoring my emails. To her, everything she needed to know could be seen in those pictures. I don’t even know what I would say to her if I had the chance. Maybe if I had her in front of me I would be able to kiss her. Yeah, if I could kiss her, that would help. Then everything would be forgotten. Maybe?
No words would be able to fix what I had done. The tightness in my chest told me that. This was hurt like I had never had the displeasure of feeling before.
All of these feelings were foreign to me. So very new. It scared me, especially when I realized I was going into self-destruct mode. I wished Drew were around to save me from myself. He knew I felt differently about Charlie. Where was he when I needed him? But who was I kidding? Weren’t all women the same anyway? I was probably just saving myself from getting hurt again, just the way Layla crushed me so many years ago.
I figured if I could convince myself that I was really doing myself a favor by getting over Charlie now rather than fucking everything up, eventually I would actually believe it and be okay with being a self-destructive asshole. Wishful thinking.
This whole week has been the biggest mind fuck of my life. I can’t believe after spending the night with an amazing woman, I couldn’t stop myself from being my normal, womanizing self. The real
ity of it was, I wanted to spend that night with Charlie but was afraid if I told her that she would run.
I paced back and forth in my apartment for a good hour trying to figure out how to fix the mess I’d gotten myself into. I had even stopped and punched a huge hole in the wall right next to the bathroom door. I didn’t know what else to do. Violence had always been an answer for me -- bar fights became a pastime, but this time it didn’t help to take the edge off. She was far deeper than under my skin.
Maybe, in the end, leaving her alone was the best thing for her. It was odd knowing that my concern for her outweighed my want.
The best part of it all... her brother is a business associate of mine. And he just happened to walk in and catch us half dressed in her bed. I thought he was going to kill me right then and there. Dammit. I can kiss that business relationship goodbye!
Emotions like those were just new. I wondered if that is what love was about. Did I truly love her? To find out, I would have to figure out a way to get her back or figure out a way to forget her. Either way, arguing with myself wasn’t getting me anywhere. I was sure Drew wouldn’t have a problem committing me either -- especially after the past week!
I picked up my phone and dialed my little brother Dallas. “Hey kiddo, what are you up to?”
“Nothing much bro, just enjoying a lovely summer in the city.”
I wanted to beg him to hang out with me for a week. Otherwise, I might end up arrested for stalking, or harassment. Maybe both. There was no way I could stay away from Charlotte. The longer she ignored me, the more I wanted to go over to her apartment and wait until she came home. Yup, I was certified stalker material. I am so fucked.
“Why don’t I come down to the city for the weekend? I haven’t seen you since you moved in. It’ll be good to catch up a bit,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the desperation in my voice. Thankfully, my little brother was pretty oblivious. If he did realize something was up, he didn’t mention it.
Take Me Out Page 4
