Stepping back, I pull open my truck door and hop inside. As I pull away, I notice one missed text message from Luce telling me she is heading into town to see Ellen at Oliver’s. Thinking if Lucy is heading into town, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to swing by the firehouse to cool down before seeing her again. I check the clock on the dashboard and realize the guys should be starting dinner soon. I quickly send her a text telling her that I’ll meet up with her later since I’m going to swing by the fire station and help the guys cook dinner.
As I pull down the long dirt driveway with the ranch in my rearview mirror, I wonder how much will change after all this today. As much as I want to see Lucy right now, my mind needs to calm down. Being around my other family at the firehouse is just what I need at the moment.
As I walk into Oliver’s, I never expected to see a packed house of customers hanging out around the bar. Ellen is rushing around, grabbing clean glasses and pulling multiple tap handles while the other two bartenders cater to the opposite end of the bar. When Ellen’s eyes scan the bar, she notices me walking down the stairs and immediately smiles.
She points to an empty table beyond the bar with a Reserved sign placed on it. It was clearly a good thing I called her before I left Jake’s house earlier. After showering, I felt refreshed despite his letter. I need to finally make a decision about what to do with my future. At seeing the current state of the bar, I know Ellen won’t be of much help to me, and talking to my parents will only give me a one-sided answer, which will be for me to stay in Breckenridge.
As I park my ass onto the faux leather booth seat, I hear Ellen yell from the other side of the bar. “Luce, what can I get for you?” she asks, her voice straining to be louder than the boisterous happy hour patrons. Breckenridge has always been a place where people can be visitors or residents and mingle without ever meeting before. What the town lacks in population, it certainly doesn’t lack in atmosphere, and that’s probably one of the most enjoyable aspects of being home. I know that no matter the reason for being in town, these people are always willing to chat about anything.
I look up at Ellen and shrug my shoulders. I’ve managed to relax some more since I hopped into Jake’s shower, so my morning wine rush has certainly worn off, but the lingering anxiety still remains deep within the pit of my stomach. I shout over to her to bring me whatever she wants to make while I continue to contemplate my options. I love Jake more than I could ever possibly think I could, and he makes me feel as though I’m the most important thing in his life. But, after all this time apart, can true love really exist and last for us?
Pushing my arms out onto the table in front of me, I drop my head on top of them. I hear the sound of sneakers stopping next to me before I hear Ellen’s voice above me. “What’s going on with you?” she questions as she places a glass onto the table beside me. I sit up and drag my arms back with me as my head rises to glance up at her narrowed eyes. With her arms crossed over her chest, I see her turn her head as someone shouts her name from the other end of the bar. My eyes fall to the drink in front of me as I tilt my head in confusion.
“Ellen… what’s this concoction?” I spin the glass around on the table, giving the plastic stirrer a twirl before lifting my eyes to look at her.
“Well, since we both know what you and Jake did last night and knowing how loud you can be with him, I figured a Screaming Orgasm was the perfect drink for you.” Ellen laughs as she walks over to the vacant table beside us and grabs some empty beer bottles. As she wipes down the table with her rag, she glances back my way. I return my stare to my drink and continue to stir around the ice cubes. Hearing her mention Jake’s name makes me focus again on the situation at hand.
I watch as Ellen drops the empty bottles with the other bartender before walking back over to where I’m sitting. She plops her ass onto the booth seat across from me as I bring the straw up to my mouth. I take a long sip and cough at the amount of hard liquor in the glass. “Jesus, Ellen, what the fuck did you put in this thing?”
“Oh, you know… a little vodka, a little amaretto, and let’s not forget the Irish cream. But, enough about the drink. What the hell is going on with you? I figured you’d be on cloud nine by now after your night with Jake. So, spill the beans, Luloooooo… Luce… I said Luce.”
I continue to take a long sip from the glass until nearly all the drink is gone before setting the tumbler onto the table. I explain to Ellen how everything about last night was perfect and how Jake and I have something between us that is immeasurable. We love each other as though we never parted ways years ago, but I still have to figure out my shit back home with Sam and the girls. I may have healed myself here with the help of my family and Jake, but that doesn’t mean that everything I left behind would be fixed if I returned to that life.
Ellen drums her fingers against the wooden table. She remains silent as she listens to my ongoing saga of where I should continue after all of this.
“Have you talked to Jake at all? I mean, have you told him about your reservations about where to live? I know you know where I think you ought to live, but my opinion is biased. I’m your sister.”
“And what makes you think Jake’s opinion wouldn’t be the same as yours? He did ask me to stay here to be with him.”
“True story. So, you need a neutral party. Someone who might not give a damn if you stayed or left. What about SJ?”
“Really, Ellen? The guy is in a forced relationship with that bitch Laurel, and you think his opinion will be unbiased?”
“Good point. But, to be fair, I talked to him the other day, and he said Jake was happier since you came home, so that has to mean something, right?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, what about the guy that Jake hangs out with from the fire station? I see him in here sometimes. I think his name is Regan.”
My heart drops instantly, thinking about the fact that in the couple of weeks I’ve been back home I’ve never been by the station to see where Jake works. I always associated Jake with the ranch and was so preoccupied with everything else that happened in the past that discussing his career never seemed to ever come up. Even my own sister knows about the men who work alongside Jake. What does that say about me? I feel like such a tool for only thinking about us as a couple and never what Jake’s career means to him.
Suddenly, the entire bar grows louder, and I feel the level of self-loathing rising within my body. My face heats up, and I run my hand over my neck. The palm of my hand covers the nearly healed scar on my neck. I must have been so far off in my own thoughts about how ignorant I’ve been that I never heard my cell phone alert me of an incoming text. Ellen pulls my phone from the side pouch of my purse on the table and waves it in front of my face.
I shake my mind from thinking about how selfish I’ve been and grab the phone from Ellen’s hand as she bounces to get out of the booth. As she stands next to me, she runs her hands over my back to calm me. “Luce, I know it won’t be an easy decision, but trust me when I say, I believe you two truly have something special when you’re together. If in your heart you feel differently, then I’m not going to be the one to stop you from leaving. Jake will be the one to do that on his own.”
Ellen takes off to the bar again just as my eyes drift down to see the text message from Jake on my screen. Evidently, he is going to have dinner at the firehouse with the guys and will catch up with me later.
I figure now is as good a time as any to meet his other family. I know Jake isn’t working, but if I at least stop by to see him and introduce myself, that will make me feel slightly better about my selfishness. Grabbing my purse and empty glass, I walk over to the bar and slide the glass over to my sister who leans over to hear me as I try to speak over the crowd. She nods as she pours a few drinks, letting me know she heard me. My feet move quickly to the stairs and out the front door.
My car is parked at my parents’ house, but the fire station is located at the other end of the downtown strip. I can e
asily walk there since I opted to wear my Chucks instead of what my mother calls my ‘hooker heels’. Don’t get me wrong. I love my platform heels, but if I were to stay around this area instead of the East Coast, I’d be trading in those heels quickly. Around here, most girls are seen wearing cowgirl boots or trail shoes.
As I walk and think about all the pros and cons of staying and going, I’m still left at a dead heat. I don’t have a clear picture of what I want to do with my life. For every positive, there is a negative. I round the corner to where the fire station sits just beyond the police station. As I pass the Breckenridge Heritage Alliance, I see the bronzed statue displayed out front of the three old-timer cowboys sitting on a fence. Each of them is laughing and pointing in a different direction. I chuckle at the fact that it’s exactly how I feel right now. I honestly don’t know which way to go, and the amount of time for me to decide is rapidly running out.
I see Jake’s truck sitting in the parking lot as the evening sky over the mountains begins to darken with storm clouds. The blackness is a sure sign of an impending storm, and I immediately regret not taking my car here, especially if the sky opens up. There’s no telling what might be lingering in those clouds. A typical summer afternoon storm can produce anything from flash floods to golf ball sized hail. The only good part of the weather in Breckenridge is that the storms don’t last for very long.
The minute my hand reaches out to grab the handle to the front door of the fire station, my heart feels like it’s about to jump through my chest. My face instantly flushes, and I have no idea why I’m feeling as though a panic attack is going to transpire any second. This is just Jake. I’ve known him all my life. We love each other, but something isn’t settling right, and I don’t know why. It’s an unnerving feeling that something is about to happen, and I don’t know what it is.
I step into the lobby, and I hear a group of men laughing in what I assume is a lounge or something. The smell of sesame oil instantly makes my mouth water and my stomach growl. Stir-fry has obviously been cooked somewhere in the building. I’ve eaten nothing all day, and I wonder if that’s why I’m so on edge and not feeling right at the moment.
All of a sudden, the laughter from one guy gets louder, and then a guy no older than me walks through the door shouting some crude remark at another person through the door. It takes a moment before he realizes I’m standing at the door, and his expression drops when he realizes that I must have heard him talking about screwing some chick last night.
He runs his hands through his messy blonde locks as he walks in my direction. When he stops just short of me, I see the embarrassment written all over his face. He pushes his hands into the pockets of his navy work pants and leans back, slightly swaying on his feet.
“I’m so sorry about that. We normally don’t have guests in the building, so the front door is usually locked, and we listen for the doorbell. One of the guys must have forgotten to lock it a little while ago. Regardless, I’m Regan. What can I do for you?”
“Sorry… I’m Lucy. Lucy Wyatt,” I say as I extend my hand toward him. His eyes narrow as he processes the name and shakes my hand at the same time. I’m sure Jake has mentioned my name recently to the guys here. I help him process it a little faster when I pull back my hand. “I’m here to see Jake.”
“Oh! Yeah… okay… you’re his girlfriend. Come on out back. He’s cooking dinner.”
Wait. Did he just say ‘girlfriend’? I follow Regan to the other room while my head still spins over the word ‘girlfriend’. I mean, I guess in some ways it would appear that we are together, but we haven’t exactly slapped a label on it just yet. I don’t even know where we will be in a week, let alone a month from now.
My feet stop as I pass through the doorway and see the makeshift kitchen and living room filled with a number of men. Some of them are slightly older and not nearly as fit as they probably should be. I hear the snap of food on the stovetop, and my head shifts to see Jake’s back turned to me. Regan marches over to him and slaps him on the back, making him jump slightly. Jake’s head tilts around to see me standing nervously. I pick at my nails and wiggle my toes around in my shoes, two key elements that tell me I’m anxious about being here. I look around aimlessly until I see the peppers and onions cooking in a wok with noodles. Chicken sizzles in another pan as steam rises into the cooking hood. Everything smells so good that I almost forget why I’m here or that Regan just called me Jake’s girlfriend.
“Hey, Luce,” Jake says, making his way over to me before leaning down to give me a kiss on the cheek. ‘Oohs’ and ‘Awws’ mix with coughs throughout the room. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting to see you.” I run my fingers through my hair as I look up into Jake’s eyes and wonder how the hell I can ever choose to leave him again. He’s been my heart and soul since I was a teenager. His arms snake around my waist as he turns off the knobs on the stove so the food doesn’t burn.
“I came by to see where you work. I hope I’m not intruding. I’ve been home for a while, and it just dawned on me that I haven’t met anyone you work with.” I blink timidly before running my hands around his waist to pull him closer.
“Well, you’ve met Regan.” Jake points as Regan waves from the sofa while the other guys continue to watch some comedy that has them all laughing. “These other guys are Grady, Ron, and Chip, and that old fart in the corner covering the call station is Trip.”
Chatter over the static-filled speakers prompts Trip to pick up the phone and start talking to someone on the other line. Jake returns his attention to me as everyone else has refocused their attention on the movie. He pushes a piece of hair from my face and pulls me back into his embrace. “Okay, Luce, what’s the real reason you’re down here? You’re acting all fuckin’ nervous, and I know it probably has to do with the letter I left you this morning. So, tell me. What’s going on?”
As I attempt to say that I can’t stand the thought of leaving him, but I don’t know if I can stay either, I’m interrupted by the guy at the call station asking for Jake. At the same moment, Jake’s cell phone starts ringing in his pocket, and he quickly pulls away from me to answer the call. I hear him ask his mom how things went today with the investment, and then his voice bellows through the entire room.
Trip yells for Jake again from the other side of the room. “Jake! I really think you need to hear this!”
Jake instantly ends the phone call, and the alarms in the station sound at a deafening level. Pushing my fingers into my ears, I try to hear what’s going on. Jake is moving frantically, kicking off his shoes and beginning to undress while all the other guys except for Trip are running for the door.
“Jake! What’s going on?” I shout so he can hear me.
“Luce, I have to go. It’s bad… really bad.”
“I didn’t think you were working today. Where are you going?”
“Luce! That was my mom. I’ve got to go. I need to get changed and head out with the crew.”
“What do you mean? What does your mom calling have to do with you taking off with the crew?” I continue to shout loudly so he can still hear me over the blaring alarm. The chaos surrounds me as a million moving parts are occurring. Off in the bay area where the fire truck is parked, all the other guys are feverishly throwing things around.
Jake moves around me to the door and pulls his truck keys from the pocket of his jeans. “Take my truck and head home, Luce. I don’t know what time I’ll be home.”
“Jake, what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”
“Because Ten Peaks is on fire, Luce!” He snaps at me. “Mom just called because the entire barn is engulfed in flames. That’s everything I have going up in flames right now. I’ve got to go. Just take the truck home, okay?”
He rushes over to me and places a cold peck of a kiss on my forehead. And just like that, he takes off through the door, leaving me behind while his words still remain in the room.
Everything I have going up in flames.
> As I choke back the tears that threaten to fall, I whisper under my breath, “I guess I’m not your everything. Am I, Jake?” I drop the keys to his truck with his shoes and jacket onto the dining room table and walk out the same way I came in.
I don’t look back. I hear the sounds of the fire engines roaring down the main road toward the ranch, and my heart breaks for Andrea and Jake. The sirens scream through the streets, alerting everyone around of the impending doom. I know what this means for them. I just don’t know where I’ll fit into the picture after this.
One step after the other brings me back to my parents’ house. Thunder cracks overhead as I walk up the front steps and into the house. When I shut the door behind me, I hear the sound of Dad’s guitar. I walk to the back door and glance at the sight before me. Dad strums on his guitar an acoustic version of “Wild Horses” by the Indigo Girls as Mom taps her fingers gently against her wine glass. I hear her singing along to the chorus when Dad feels the depth within the song. It’s soft yet powerful at the same time. His foot taps the ground as his head bobs with each note.
My heart suddenly skips, and a lump forms in my throat. I swipe away a stray tear that slowly trickles from my eye because I realize how much they love each other. They complete each other in ways I never thought possible. They are everything I want out of life. Love. Peace. Happiness. Why are those three simple things so hard for me to grab? I’ll tell you why. Because life likes to throw me curveballs every single day of my life.
As Dad strums the last notes on the guitar, thunder rumbles again, and I feel a vibration coming from my purse. I pull out my phone and slide my finger across the screen as I see a missed call and text message from Sam.
Dad’s voice interrupts the words I see on my screen. “Hey, kiddo, is everything okay?” As my head rises to see both my parents’ eyes staring at me, I know I’ve just been dealt another curveball. The only problem is this curveball will hurt more people than I ever wanted to hurt.
Burning Barriers (Barriers Series Book 3) Page 13
