Sean.
He halted at the ring of candles, which were still blazing strong.
“What are you doing here?” Gemma asked, not unkindly, curling and uncurling her toes in the sand.
“I wanted to talk to you.” His expression, illuminated in the flickering candlelight, was uneasy, almost pained. “Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay.” She tried to regain the feeling of relaxation, but her heart had started fluttering. “Just let me blow these out and we can walk back—”
“Don’t blow them out.” Sean stepped into the circle. “Let’s talk here. This is really nice.”
“Okay.” Gemma’s heartbeat picked up even more momentum. “I’ll get us something to sit on.” She hurried out of the circle, returning with her cloak. She spread it on the ground like a blanket. “Here.” Sitting down, she patted the ground beside her, doing her best to mask her nervousness. “Is this all right?”
He sat down right next to her, so close their shoulders practically touched. “This is great.”
Gemma looked out at the ocean, his nearness unnerving her. “So,” she began, shuddering involuntarily, “let’s talk.”
“Are you cold?” Without waiting for her answer, he shucked off his leather jacket, draping it over her shoulders.
“Thank you.” Again Gemma drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them tightly, this time waiting.
“Michael told me how to get here.”
“I figured.” Gemma glanced sideways, catching a quick glimpse of his profile in the candlelight. As had always been the case, she liked what she saw: the patrician curve of his nose, the strong solid jawline, tousled curls… “What did you tell him, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“That I knew you were here and we needed to talk.”
“And he didn’t grill you? Or make you sign a slip of paper vowing you would never cause me undue pain and anguish?”
Sean chuckled. “He did sound kind of suspicious, but I could hear Theresa in the background shouting, ‘Give him the damn directions,’ so I assume, if he had any reservations about it, she more or less put the kibosh on them.”
“That sounds like them.” Thank God for Theresa. Michael is so clueless sometimes!
“So here you are.”
“Here I am.” His gaze turned toward the sea.
It was impossible not to contemplate the ocean while sitting on a beach, or at the very least to use it as a distraction while formulating exactly what you wanted to say. Gemma assumed that was what Sean was doing now, his blue eyes fixed on some invisible point on the dark horizon. She rocked a little, keeping warm, keeping faith. She knew Sean: When he was ready to talk, he’d talk.
Eventually, his gaze left the far distance and sought hers. “I want to apologize to you.”
“For?”
Sean’s laugh was self-deprecating. “Where do I even begin?”
“At the beginning?”
“There’s a thought.” He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry I asked you to hide your faith from my folks. And that I didn’t really give your friends a chance. That was wrong of me.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Gemma said, dropping her eyes while her finger shyly traced a line back and forth in the sand.
“For what?” Sean sounded genuinely baffled.
Gemma looked back at him. “For turning into a basket case every time you walked out the door to work. That only added to your stress. I can see that now. I also feel badly that I was so pushy, trying to get you to talk about things you didn’t want to talk about.”
He cleared his throat. “People in a relationship share things. Good and bad. Obviously, given what I do, I would never want to give you the gory details of some of the stuff I have to deal with, but I could have given you more than I did. Shared more than I did.”
Gemma’s gaze turned sympathetic. “I hear that’s not unusual in your line of work.”
Sean grimaced. “No, it’s not. But it’s slowly changing. It has to. It doesn’t do any of us any good to hold this shit inside, thinking we’re not real men or real heroes if we let things get to us.
“When that kid almost died in the brownstone fire because of me, not only did I doubt myself, but I worried about you doubting me.”
Gemma was puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was a failure, Gemma. Which is what I felt like. It was easier just to withdraw.”
“Oh, Sean.” Her heart traveled to his, wanting to heal it, ease his pain. “I could never think you were a failure.”
Sean’s mouth twisted into a rueful smile. “No, but you could think I was a taciturn jackass, hate what I do for a living, and make it clear that you didn’t think much of my friends.”
Gemma faced him head-on. “I won’t lie: I do hate what you do for a living. It scares me. As for your friends,” she continued tentatively, “I really don’t know them well enough to judge them, and that’s what I did. I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
Sean shook his head. “It’s okay. Look, I know they’re not perfect. They can be a bunch of immature pricks: stubborn, opinionated, close-minded. But they’re good people with big hearts.” His voice rang with emotion. “Any one of them would give me the shirt off his back if I asked. We watch out and care for one another, not only because we have to, but because we want to. Our lives are in each other’s hands.”
Gemma was genuinely moved. “I never thought about it that way.”
“It’s the truth.” His eyes searched hers, and the intensity she saw there had Gemma fighting for breath. Those blue, blue eyes, asking silent questions of her in the moonlight. The eyes she saw that night when casting her love spell. She broke eye contact.
“You okay?”
Gemma’s voice was faint. “Fine.”
“You sure?” Sean asked, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders.
Gemma nodded. She felt she was losing her grip. How else to explain her belief that she could feel the heat of his hand through the leather jacket draped over her shoulders? Safe in the crook of his arm, his arm gripping her shoulders possessively, she felt herself weakening with desire. Was he feeling the same way?
“So now that we’ve both apologized, there’s something else I wanted to say.”
Perhaps he was.
“Yes?” Gemma managed, her heart reverberating in her chest like a drum.
His hand gently caressed her shoulder. “I know our timing has really been off. And I know you have a lot to deal with right now, what with the fire and your grandmother.” His hand stopped, moving instead to tilt her chin up so she was looking directly into his eyes. “But I’d love it if you could see your way to giving me another chance, Gemma. Because I think we could make each other really happy.”
Gemma closed her eyes a moment, letting the words sink in.
“I—I think so, too,” she whispered haltingly. Joy had tied her tongue.
“You do?” Sean laughed in surprise. “I was ready to have to talk you into it.”
Gemma opened her eyes. “Let me explain something to you.” Taking his hand, she wove her fingers through his, holding on tight. “That fire was a wakeup call for me.”
“How so?”
“It made me realize you can’t put things off, because you never know what’s going to happen. Until the fire, I thought: After things get settled with Nonna, then I’ll start living my life. That’s when I’ll have time for a relationship, or be able to spend more time with friends, or take a class. But there’s only now. Now and now and now and now.” The urgency in her own voice made her look at him apprehensively. “Does that make sense? Or do I sound like some New Age, airy-fairy wacko?”
Lifting their twined hands, Sean brushed her knuckles against his lips with the lightest touch. “Darlin‘, you are some New Age, airy-fairy wacko. You are who you are, and make no apologies. I love that.”
“ ‘You are who you are’; ‘Now is now is now is now’— you and me, Kennealy, we�
��re very deep thinkers. Ever notice that?”
Sean nodded solemnly, but there was playfulness in his eyes. “I have noticed. Very deep, very deep indeed. What should we do about it?”
“Hhmm, let me think.” Gemma feigned the pose of The Thinker, putting her fist to her forehead in an outward display of profound thought. “I’ve got it.” Smiling, she brought her lips to his, kissing him so lightly their mouths barely touched. “How was that?”
“Hhmm.” Sean mulled this over. “Good, but I think I might be able to do better. Here, let me see if I can come up with a kiss worthy of two modern-day philosophers.”
Bending his head, he took her mouth, gently at first, then more urgently. Gemma tasted desire, sweet as honey, pass between them. Her mind fogged as his strong arms snaked around her, pulling her to him, hard.
“I want you,” he murmured as his mouth moved to the soft terrain of her throat.
“I want you, too,” Gemma whispered, all surrender. The sky and sand seemed to be throbbing, every living thing pulsing with vitality as Sean pulled the leather jacket down from around her shoulders. His hands moved over her with the energy of a man who could not get enough. One moment his fingertips were grazing her spine; the next moment he was running his hand through her hair. Gemma didn’t mind being the recipient of this random desire. It titillated her, making her ache with wonder as she tried to figure out where, exactly, he would touch her next. The only constant was his mouth: Hungry, possessive, it remained crushed against hers for the duration, the need for words long passed, the submission to ardor the sole driving force.
Sean.
Had she just said his name out loud, or sighed it silently to herself? Did it matter? They were falling in slow motion now, limbs entwined as they stretched out on her cloak, guided by the light of the stars and a hunger that could not, would not, be denied. He buried his face in her neck, fingers fumbling wildly for the buttons of her blouse. When the last three proved troublesome, he simply tore, sending Gemma’s heart racing. He could tear her clothing to shreds if he wanted. She’d submit to anything, as long as it held the promise of his body against her, inside her.
Nature got in on the act, tantalizing her as it sent a cool breeze sailing across her heated flesh, making her shiver in delight. Her breathing, so sure and deep while she took stock of her life earlier, came now in excited, staccato bursts as Sean lifted his head and with hungry eyes pushed her lacy bra up over the top of her breasts. Then… nothing. Gemma lifted her head to be greeted by a devilish smile. Relief seeped through her. He was only playing, playing well as his mouth clamped down on the rosy crest of her right nipple and he began to suckle. Gemma gasped, feeling herself stiffen beneath his lips. He sucked… and bit. Sucked… and bit, his teasing driving her to the edge of madness as he played with pace. Fire spread between her legs and she arched into the desire to open herself to him like a flower. And still Sean kept torturing her, shifting his tantalizing ministrations to her left breast. Gemma closed her eyes, dizzy. When she opened them, the sky was reeling.
She was panting now, perhaps even moaning softly. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that moon, sea, and stars were bearing witness to this, the rebirth of their love. Clutching his head in her hands, she dragged him up her body, and with fevered lips devoured his mouth. Sean groaned, pressing his hips against hers. Gemma could feel his hard-on straining against his jeans, its pulse beating against her inner thigh, hot and insistent.
“Make love to me,” Gemma whispered. “Now and now and now and now.”
Sean laughed, lust and desire giving the sound an animal tinge. With an assuredness she found entrancing, his hands moved to her jeans, quickly unzipping them. Gemma lifted slightly to help him tug them, and her panties, down around her ankles, her impatience growing. She kicked free of her garments, waiting for Sean to strip quickly and plunge inside her. But he did nothing of the sort.
Instead, he slid down onto his stomach, and with a wicked gleam in his eye as he propped himself up on his elbows, gently parted her thighs. Then, with an animal growl, he put his mouth to her heat.
Gemma bucked as fire climbed through her, devouring reserve. Lap after lazy lap of his tongue against her had her screaming. Frenzied flicking had her twisting in delirium. The ocean roared its approval, but the crashing waves were no match for the pleasured screams escaping her own throat as wave after wave of velvet delight shook her, rendering her momentarily senseless. Now and now and now and now. Oh, Sean…
Clearly pleased with the results of his attention, Sean rose up, sitting back on his heels. Gemma felt desire stir anew as he stripped his T-shirt off over his head and threw it clear of their bodies, revealing the muscled torso beneath. Her gaze dropped lower; he was unfastening his belt now, unzipping his fly. Then he stood up, sloughing off the last of his clothing.
Adonis in moonlight. That’s all Gemma could think as she gazed upon every inch of his well-sculpted, perfectly proportioned, aroused form. Startling in its virility, it almost felt to Gemma as if she were seeing him for the first time. Her eyes raked his body appreciatively as she held out a languid hand to him.
Sean took it, dropping down between her thighs. His eyes burned with a need so deep it was almost startling in its intensity. Gemma tensed, waiting, and taking him into her hand, pulled him toward her. She wanted her legs wrapped around those velvet ribs. Wanted to feel him beating out his own pulse from deep within her.
“Open wider,” Sean whispered. His voice was ragged, his blinding want clear. Gemma obeyed, guiding him toward her center. But Sean Kennealy was a man who needed no guiding. Barely slipping inside her, he sank into her by degrees, the sensation both maddening and intoxicating. Gemma tightened herself around him, game for a wanton ride. Sean withdrew slowly, then plunged back in hard, burying himself in her as deeply as he could. He did it again. And again. And again, until Gemma thought she would break apart. Then, just when she thought she couldn’t take much more, he quickened the tempo, and drove her completely over the edge to madness.
Rhythm laid waste to her senses. Every thought, every dream, every desire she had was reduced to this, Sean’s body joined to hers, the heat building and rolling over her in fearsome waves until finally it burst free, hurtling Gemma through space with an ecstatic scream that tore the veil of night. Sean had no choice but to respond in kind: Hips pumping wildly, he brought himself to a juddering climax, spilling himself into her with a fierceness and purity that left her speechless.
“I love you,” he whispered as he sank down upon her. Then he wrapped her in his arms, buffering her from the breeze.
———
Seconds, minutes, hours passed. Gemma had lost all sense of time. All she knew was that the two of them were as closely entwined as two bodies could be, listening to each other’s hearts beat back to normal. The temperature had dropped and the wind had picked up, but Gemma didn’t care. In Sean’s arms she felt neither heat nor cold. Only joy.
“Gemma?”
“Mmm?”
“Have you ever made love outside before this?”
“Does making out in the Poconos with Peregrine Phillips in ninth grade count?”
“No.” Sean lifted his head. “Peregrine? You slipped tongue to a guy named Peregrine?”
Gemma playfully pinched his arm and he settled back down, head resting on the cradle of her breast.
“Gemma?”
“Mmm?”
“I’ve got sand in cracks and crevices I didn’t even know I had.”
Gemma laughed loudly. “Me, too. Maybe we should go back to Michael’s and shower.”
“Sounds good to me,” he agreed, planting a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“Sean, I have to tell you something.” She wasn’t sure why, but the spell she’d cast so long ago felt like a secret between them, one it was time to divulge.
“What’s that?” he asked, nibbling her fingertips.
“Right before I met you, I cast a love spell.”
Sean
stopped nibbling.
“In it, I saw a man’s eyes quite clearly. They were yours, Sean. I swear it.”
Sean considered this. “I believe you,” he finally said. “I believe in fate.”
“Good, because you’re mine.”
He smiled at her, that slow, boyish grin that had caused her heart to seize up in her chest the first time she saw him do it. “I know.”
Slowly, almost reluctantly, they rose, putting their clothing back on. Donning her cape, Gemma walked around the wide circle, extinguishing the candles one by one. The moon would see them home.
“Shall we?” Sean asked, holding out his hand to her.
Gemma nodded, taking his hand. Together they started up the beach, walking toward their future.
Total Rush Page 29
