:Tobin, no, you don’t have to do this,: I protest. :The rest of our team needs you more than I do.:
:Being in there won’t bother me at all,: he tells me, his face earnest, :and I might be able to help you get through this.:
:Righty-o, in you go.: Wasp grins at us. Before I can say good-bye to the rest, Whitey shoves me inside, and Tobin gets pushed in after me.
Then Wasp slams the door closed, the lock clicks, and we’re shut in.
I STARE INTO blackness so total that even with my genetically altered vision, I can’t see the hand I raise in front of my face. The silence is so dense, all I can hear is the blood beating in my ears. Trying not to lose it, I breathe in and out. I want to pound on the door. I want to scream at Wasp to let me out. But I’m too petrified to move.
I don’t want to remember, but here in the total dark, I’m afraid I’ll be swallowed up by that other time when I was shut in and couldn’t get out. But then I was alone.
This time, Tobin is here.
:Tobin?: I reach out with my mind but touch only blankness. Wasp is blocking us. I clench my hands. If she keeps blocking our telepathy, I’ll still be all alone in the dark.
I breathe faster and faster. My heart is pumping so hard, I’m afraid it will burst. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I shake so much that my teeth chatter. I haven’t had a full-blown panic attack like this in years.
Feeling a touch on my arm, I can’t help but jerk away, my heart pounding faster yet. But then the touch comes again, and this time Tobin finds my hand and grips it firmly. His other hand finds my shoulder, and he pulls me close until my head rests against his chest.
I try to push away from him, feeling more trapped than ever, but then I hear a warm, deep rumbling. Any sound in this awful silence is comforting, but this sound is wonderful. The rumbling ranges higher and lower again in a sequence that somehow seems familiar. Then I realize what Tobin’s doing. He’s humming.
I press my right ear closer to his chest and concentrate on the notes. I recognize “Hymn to Joy,” a beautiful old hymn he sang once at the graveside of Sara, the girl who died during our trip north.
Way to go, Tobin! He’s found a way to communicate with me, despite Wasp. We can’t speak aloud underwater because sound gets too distorted for us to understand each other’s words. But he can hum, and I can listen, and the song helps me focus on something besides the smothering dark.
I remember my pain and anger from the night we buried Sara. The lyrics of the hymn were all about fields and forests, the sun and “the flashing sea.” I picture times I’ve seen sunlight dance and shine on waves. Gradually my breathing slows and my trembling stops.
Tobin starts humming another tune, and I recognize “Pop Goes the Weasel.” The song reminds me of long afternoons on the beach playing with Lena and Robry and his big brother, Cam. I let my mind drift, and I think of days I spent sailing and fishing with Cam on his tiny boat and how he loved tinkering with its sails. I picture his smile and how happy he was on the water. I hope with all my heart that he’s still alive, and that someday he’ll have a chance to sail again.
After another two songs, Tobin squeezes my hand and shifts back from me. He touches his dive watch and light gleams from the data displayed there. He holds the watch near his face so the dim light illuminates his features.
You okay now? he mouths clearly.
Better, and I nod. At least I’m not totally freaking.
Still holding my hand, Tobin raises his watch. By its dim gleam, we search every inch of our prison, making sure there’s no way we can escape. Finally we give up and float again in the center of the cramped space.
Had to try, Tobin mouths at me, his lips lifting in a familiar smile.
I can’t believe he can smile in here, but that smile helps me fight the panic that wants to suck me under.
I touch my own dive watch and lift it close, illuminating my face. Thank you. I shape the words as clearly as I can and gesture to the walls of our prison.
Tobin shrugs, as if being shut up in a small, dark cell is no big deal. Staring at his calm, good-natured face, I wonder what I ever did to deserve such an incredible friend.
Better than hanging out with Whitey, I think he says. When he scowls and bares his teeth in a great imitation of Whitey, a laugh bubbles up inside me.
But then the walls and the darkness close in on me once again. I kick upward, but almost instantly, the ceiling traps me. I pound my fists against it, my breathing crazy fast.
Tobin’s beside me and pushes my head against his chest again. This time, he hums a series of light, popular songs. I picture myself back home in Goleta, watching my parents dance. My mother was always so graceful and my father hopelessly clumsy. He danced with her anyway because he knew it made her happy.
When my breathing slows to something near normal, Tobin touches his watch to create a glimmer of light once more.
We should try to sleep, I think he says, and he motions toward the floor. He sits, pulling me gently with him, and then lies down. Awkwardly, I lie down next to him. He pats his chest, and before my claustrophobia seizes me again, I lay my head just below his collarbone.
Tobin goes back to humming, and I’m amazed at all the different kinds of melodies he knows, from church music to nursery songs to hard-core glacier rock.
When he starts on old lullabies, I wonder if he’d like me to go to sleep so he can finally stop humming. I smile sadly when he begins one my mother used to sing to me. Squeezing Tobin’s hand, I try to project my gratitude. Even though Wasp will block my words, I hope some of what I’m feeling will reach Tobin. He squeezes my hand in return, and I close my eyes and listen to my childhood lullaby.
Exhausted from fighting fear, I finally slide into sleep.
I’m exploring the cabin of a small boat all by myself. In the floor of the bow there’s an open compartment. Long and narrow, it almost looks like a coffin. Wait till I tell Cam about this! Grinning, I climb down into it and stretch out on my back. A wave rocks the boat and the heavy door to the compartment slams shut.
I stare up into total darkness. The air stinks of fish and engine oil. My heart begins to pump faster and faster. I push against the hatch with my hands…but it won’t open. I push my feet against the door with all my strength. It still doesn’t budge.
I call Mariah and tell her I’m trapped. She rings and rings the bell at the end of the dolphin dock, but no one comes.
I can’t breathe. I pound against the door. Tears trickle down my hot face into my hair and ears. I don’t want to die! I raise my hands and hit the door again and again as I fight to pull the stinky air into my lungs…
Someone is shaking my shoulder. :Hey, Nere, you’re just having a nightmare. Wake up.:
I sit bolt upright, my chest heaving. Tobin reaches out, and I cling to his hands like a lifeline. I’m not suffocating in the hot, fishy bow compartment of that boat anymore. Instead I’m shut in a tiny dark cell inside Kuron’s fortress.
It occurs to me that I just heard Tobin’s words clearly in my mind. :Did Wasp finally fall asleep?:
:I guess she must have.:
:What time is it, anyway?:
:Just after midnight.:
I breathe deeply, and my heart rate slows a little. I don’t want to think about my nightmare. Instead I ask, :When do you think they’ll let us out?: I’m painfully aware that our time to find the c-plankton is slipping away fast.
I feel Tobin shrug. :If Kuron wants us to help attack Safety Harbor, then he’ll have to let us out of here in three days.:
I start shaking again. I don’t know if I can last three days in here. I rest my head on my arms. :Our mission was a total failure.:
:Hey, this mission isn’t over yet. You know Robry will keep looking for a way to deactivate the collars, and the others will keep searching for the c-plankton when they can.:
Only if Wasp and Kuron’s keepers aren’t watching them every second now. I think Tobin realizes his words have a hollow ring t
o them because he’s quiet after that.
:I wonder when they’ll get around to feeding us,: he says eventually. :My stomach’s so empty even a sea cucumber is starting to sound good.:
:I bet Shadow and the rest will make sure they bring us some food first thing in the morning.: At least I hope so, anyway.
:Shadow really looks out for everyone. In her own way, she’s just as much a leader as Dai is.: The respect I hear in Tobin’s tone makes me a little jealous.
:Do you like her?:
:A lot,: comes his prompt reply. :She has the guts to stand up to Whitey and Wasp, and I’ll always be grateful to her for taking care of Bria.:
:She’s pretty, too,: I say, thinking of her beautiful long black hair. I’ve always wished I had hair like hers.
:Yeah, she is,: he says. He shifts and shines his watch on my face. :But I guess I’ve always liked blond hair better.: His tone is light and he’s smiling, but there’s a wistful look in his eyes.
:Tobin, I—: I’m not even sure what I’m going to say, but he cuts me off before I can say it.
:It’s all right, Nere. I get it,: he says with an unusual edge in his mental voice. :Do you want to talk about your nightmare now? They say talking about your nightmares can help keep them from coming back.:
I don’t want to talk about my nightmare, but it’s better than Tobin talking about my hair. I do really like him, but I’m so out of my depth when it comes to guys. Back home, I think I was starting to fall in love with Cam. But he wasn’t a part of the Neptune Project, which means I’ll probably never see him again, and that still makes my heart twist.
Then there’s Dai, who makes me happy and frustrated and crazy all at once. And he’s part shark, as well as a liar.
I always like being with Tobin, and I know other girls think he’s cute. He has a nice face, his eyes are as green as the waters of the strait on a sunny day, and I love the copper color of his hair. He’s so much more patient than I am. In fact, he’s still waiting patiently for me to answer his question.
:But my nightmare is just going to sound stupid to you.:
:Nightmares are never stupid, especially when they make you punch me.:
:Did I really?:
:Just once, so I tried to get out of your way, but then you hauled off and kicked me. That’s when I decided I’d be safer if I just woke you up.:
I raise my own watch and see there’s a glint of humor in his eyes now that makes me smile.
:So I figure if you tell me your nightmare,: he says, :maybe you won’t have it again, and we can get back to sleep.:
:Okay then.: I draw in a breath. :My nightmare’s from this time I climbed into a boat, got shut in a dark compartment, and no one found me for a long time. I-I thought maybe I was going to suffocate in there.:
:How’d you get out?:
:Mariah and the rest of the pod rang a bell for an hour until my father came up from his lab and heard them. The dolphins were so upset that even though my dad’s not telepathic, he realized something must be really wrong. The pod kept circling a particular boat, and eventually he figured out I had to be on it.:
:No wonder you don’t like small spaces.:
:I had nightmares about that afternoon for years. The nightmares finally stopped, but I guess being in here brought them back.:
:Yeah, well, I understand how that could happen. I feel a little smothered in here myself, and I’m usually okay with small places.:
Probably to distract me, he asks me to tell him a story about my life before the Neptune Project. Even though I’m glad to be distracted, it takes me a minute or two to come up with one.
:My eyes were so weak,: I tell him at last, :that I always had to wear some kind of dark glasses, but my parents were clueless about getting me ones that looked okay. I had one pair I LOVED that James bought for me on the black market using most of the money he’d earned over the summer spearfishing. The glasses were white and had little rhinestones along the edges, and I felt like a movie star when I wore them. But then Rend, a total bully in my class, smashed them on purpose, and I was heartbroken. James and my friend Cam beat the crud out of him later, but it was too late for my poor glasses.:
:So then what happened?:
:So then my dad decided to make me a new pair. He spent forever gluing some rhinestones on an old set of lab goggles, but the goggles made me look like a human fly with bulging eyes. Dad was so proud of them, I wore the horrible things to school every day and took them off the moment I got inside. Then I walked around squinting. I was so relieved when a wave knocked the goggles off our zode into the water, and I begged Mariah not to find them for me.:
:That sounds like your dad,: Tobin says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
:Yeah, he’s always been good at making something out of nothing,: I say lightly, :and that’s probably a good thing when you’re trying to start a colony in the middle of nowhere.:
But the story I told Tobin still stings. Somehow we had money for state-of-the-art research equipment for Gillian’s secret lab, but my parents couldn’t afford to buy me and my messed-up eyes a decent pair of dark glasses.
As Tobin and I talk, I try not to think about the small space around us. Sokya checks in with me. I do my best to reassure her we’re fine, and warn her, once again, to stay far away from Whitey and the rest.
When another panic attack starts to claim me, Tobin lies down, offers up his shoulder, and hums me to sleep again.
Early the next morning, someone throws our door open. I raise my head from Tobin’s shoulder. Compared to the complete darkness, the corridor’s lighting seems painfully bright. I have to squint to see who’s hovering there.
:Well, aren’t you two cute, all cuddled up there together,: Wasp says spitefully.
I push myself upright. Shadow and Ocho are floating right behind Wasp, looking worried.
:These guys:—Whitey jerks his head toward Shadow and Ocho—:seem to think we need to feed you. If it were up to me, you two would go hungry for a week or two. But Shadow’s a real softy, so here you go.: He pitches a parcel at us, hard, and I have to duck to keep it from hitting my head. Before we can talk to the others, Whitey slams the door in our faces.
:Shadow!: I shout. :Can you hear me? Are Ree and Kalli and Robry okay?:
I hear only blankness. I swim to the door and press my cheek against its cold, hard surface and draw in deep breaths, trying to fight my rising panic at being shut in again. Tobin comes to float beside me. He lifts his watch near our faces.
You okay? he mouths.
Yeah. I nod and try to smile. If Wasp is listening in on my thoughts right now, I don’t want her to know how much I hate her prison. I manage to slow my breathing after a few minutes, and I even eat some fish fillet and wakame from the bundle Whitey threw at us.
But as that endless day crawls by, the panic attacks return, and the only way I can keep from flipping out completely is to listen to Tobin’s humming.
That night’s even worse. Twice I wake from my old nightmare, thrashing and screaming. After the second nightmare, we realize Wasp has finally fallen asleep, so Tobin and I just sit up and talk. He tells me more about his mother, who was a nurse and died in the last famine. For the first time, he also talks about his father.
:My dad was a genetics professor. When they took him away, we were so little that Bria doesn’t remember him. But I do. He loved to tell stories and play the guitar, and he collected folktales and folk songs as a hobby. He told me once that he was afraid too many small but important things, like songs, were getting lost in the wars and famines. And he was always singing when he was in a good mood.:
:So we know where your music genes came from.: I smile at him.
Then I picture my own father and how worried he looked that last night I talked with him at Safety Harbor.
:I keep thinking about my dad and what a good parent he is compared to Kuron,: I tell Tobin. :My mom could get so caught up in her research, she’d hardly speak to us for days, and she was
always traveling.: As I stare into the dark, it occurs to me:maybe most of that research and travel I resented so much was for the Neptune Project, and it was her way of loving James and me.
:Anyone would look like a good parent compared to Kuron.: Tobin shakes his head. :But you’re right. Your dad loves you, and I think he really cares about all the kids at Safety Harbor. We’re just a bunch of lab specimens to Kuron.:
:I know my dad loves me, but while I was at Safety Harbor, I couldn’t forgive him for lying about his death and changing me in the first place.: I hug my knees tighter to my chest. :I’m starting to realize that he thought he had to do those things to keep me safe and to give me a better life, but a part of me is still mad at him.:
:That’s pretty understandable.:
:Yeah, but I’d like to tell him that I do get some of the choices he made. I-I’m afraid I may never get back to Safety Harbor and have that chance now.:
:You’re going to get out of here,: Tobin says firmly, :and I know you’ll have a chance to tell your dad everything you’re telling me.:
I rub my arms. :Between all those shredders and Whitey and Wasp, I’m not sure we are gonna get back.:
Tobin reaches out and takes my hand. I have another fear I don’t want to bring up right now. What if we have to face Kuron tomorrow and he makes us promise to be loyal to him? Wasp is such a strong telepath, I know she’ll sense that we’re lying.
Tobin offers to hum some old sea songs to me. We lie down together and I nestle into his shoulder again. Somehow everything seems a little less grim and scary when I’m next to Tobin like this. Eventually I start to feel sleepy.
:Tobin?: I say as my eyes flutter shut.
:Yeah?:
I want to thank him for being here and helping me through this. I want to thank him for being one of the best friends I’ve ever had. But sleep is pulling at me, and all I can manage in the end is, :Hey, thanks for everything.:
:Hey, you’re welcome. You’re always welcome,: he says, a world of Tobin warmth in his reply, and I think I feel him kiss my cheek.
The Neptune Challenge Page 19
