"Take the train dearest," Annie could not contain her joy. "Leave tomorrow so that you can be back right away. The train is warmer and we aren't snowed in yet. If you delay we might miss the chance of becoming parents. Please Richard, just leave tomorrow."
"That," he promised, "Is what I will do my love."
Annie fell asleep easily after their talk, dreaming of a new baby and telling Cora all about it. She felt as though her heart had taken wings and was singing with the joy of it.
~#~#~#~
Chapter Four
Annie was so excited when early the next morning, she packed a small bag for her husband; and when they sat down for breakfast she was beaming, unlike other days when she would be brooding and fighting hard to hold back tears. Richard would do anything to make his wife happy. He loved her so deeply and at times he wondered at the Lord's grace, having brought him such a wonderful and gracious woman who loved him back.
His worry was that Annie was looking a little strained. He'd heard her leaving their bed in a hurry early that morning. Shortly afterward, heard the easily identifiable sounds of retching coming from behind the house when he had gone in search of her.
She threw up so much that it made her weak and she sank to her knees with relief when it was over. He helped her up and back to the house and she told him she was stronger and much better now after voiding the contents of her stomach.
"I'm reluctant to leave you looking so tired," he observed her keenly. She blushed and turned away. Even after more than a year of marriage, her husband still had the ability to make her feel very shy.
"It's nothing, just something I ate last night," she brushed his concern away and hoped he would be on his way. "The sooner you leave for Granger, the sooner you will return with our new baby. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure my love? We can wait until Christmas is over, when you are feeling better."
Annie shook her head. "There is no need to postpone this. Besides, there's probably a child who will spend Christmas in that cold place without love and care. I know orphanages try their best to make the little ones as comfortable as possible, well, most of the time, but every child needs to be with a loving family for Christmas."
Richard was still not convinced.
"My love," Annie touched his chin gently, hoping she could convince him to get going. "Marie is here and if I feel any worse I'll send her to fetch Cora or Mrs. Myra. Please don't worry about me. I really will be fine. Besides, just to help you stop worrying, tomorrow I'll drop by Dr. Reginald's clinic and have him check me out."
"That makes me feel a little better."
"Now hurry up so I can go and visit Cora and share the good news with her."
When Cora heard about Richard's trip to Granger to visit the orphanage there, and bring back a baby she was so relieved that she almost cried. Annie looked so much better and was very happy. This was something that made Cora rejoice, because now she would not feel guilty when visiting her friend.
~#~#~#~
In the West household, as in many other households in Tipton, the air was filled with the tantalizing aroma of baked cakes, pies and puddings as they made ready for Christmas. It would be a special Christmas because of the expected new arrival, the newest member of the Wests household. Annie was so happy and she hummed all morning, once in a while dancing a small jig much to Marie and Alex's amusement.
"Mrs. Annie."
"Yes Marie?"
"Would it be alright for me to leave for town now to get those things you wanted me to bring from the mercantile?"
"Oh yes," Annie laughed happily. "And be sure to take some cheese and curd for your mama. I promised her some, just take as much as you can carry. Be sure to separate what is for selling and what is hers to use."
"Yes Mrs. Annie," Marie packed what was required and then frowned. "Shall we take Alex with us so that you can rest for a short while? Mr. Richard said to ensure that you get as much rest as you need." Marie secretly thought that with all the baking they'd done this morning, Annie could do with a rest.
Annie shook her head, laughing softly. "That man fusses so much," although it delighted her that her husband thought about her comforts at all time, he was so concerned about her.
Having come to Tipton feeling alone and scared, it now felt good to have someone who cared about everything relating to her welfare. "Alex is asleep and I doubt he'll wake up anytime soon. It's alright, I'll finish making your Christmas dress as I watch him."
"Thank you ma'am." Marie picked up the large basket.
"Take Samuel so he can go and visit with your mama for a short while. She was complaining that he is so busy and rarely goes to see him, and it's not as if he doesn't deserve a break with the work he does around here. Be sure to return before dark though because it looks like it's going to snow again."
"Are you sure you'll be alright? We can always go to town tomorrow when you are feeling better. You do look a little tired."
"Marie," Annie placed a light hand on her shoulder. "Dear child, you are so concerned about me but there is no need to be. It's a blessing to have you worrying about me but I'll be fine and Alex will be alright too. Just go and enjoy yourselves with your mama and your siblings. Just be sure to return in good time."
"Okay Mrs. Annie." Marie seemed reluctant to leave but Annie urged her on, and Samuel came around with the buggy. He was delighted at the opportunity to visit with his mother in town and while he was there, made a note to pick up presents for his family. They waved at Annie who was standing by the front door porch and she waved back. Marie kept throwing glances behind until the buggy disappeared from sight.
With a sigh Annie entered the house. She was glad they were finally gone, much as she enjoyed their company. It was just that she was tired of everyone fussing over her so much. She knew she was fortunate to be surrounded by people who cared about her, especially as she'd been so down of late. Really though, some time on her own was exactly what she needed right now.
That being so, she missed her husband and he had only been gone a few hours. Ever since they'd married, Richard had only been away from home once, early in their marriage when he made a trip to Plymouth to find out about her past. She longed for her husband to return home quickly and she sent up a silent prayer for his safety.
She sank into the large couch in the living room and picked up Marie's dress. It was almost done and only the hemming and buttons were left. Her eyes slowly began to close.
"Just a short nap," she told herself, leaning back and closing her eyes. Soon her soft breath was all that was audible in the living room.
~#~#~#~
"Mmh!" Alex sat up in his cot and looked around. He wanted to cry out so that someone would come and pick him up now that he was awake. Then he saw a gecko on the wall and watched as it stood still.
"Nimal, nimal," he chanted, clapping happily. He knew it was an animal, everything that moved or crawled was an animal. At almost two years he was a chubby baby but had strong sturdy legs from the many romps he and Marie got into. She would take him to the woods for long walks, carrying him part of the way and letting him walk the rest.
Sometimes Samuel and his pa would take him down to the creek and he would hold his small fishing rod, copying their actions, a solemn look on his face, which often made his father laugh.
"Pa," he wanted to go and find his father so he scrambled to his feet, put one leg over the short railing and hoisted himself upwards. Because he was not yet used to climbing out of his cot on his own, in fact this was the first time he'd tried it, he fell flat on his face.
For a moment, he wanted to cry. Then he saw the gecko move and a watery smile broke on his face. "Nimal, nimal." He stood up and toddled towards the wall but the gecko, recognizing the trouble Alex presented, fled out of the room and he trailed after it down the corridor till he got to the living room and noticed his mother on the couch.
Her eyes were closed and she was definitely asleep, not that slee
ping was a good enough reason for a child to leave his mother in peace.
"Mama," he hurried over to her and buried his small face in her lap. Annie murmured something but did not wake up. "Mama?" He tugged at her skirt. Then he noticed the gecko once again on the wall near the door. His need for his mother was immediately forgotten as he walked over to the door. When he pulled on the frame, to his delight it opened, and he found himself on the porch, his favorite place to be.
This was where he spent a lot of time with Marie and he went all around the porch in search of his nanny. "Rie, Rie," he called out, remembering the game of hide and seek that Marie liked to play with him. Maybe she was hiding so he went around the porch once again, but still did not find her.
His small riding crop was lying on the porch and he picked it up. His pa had given it to him, telling him that one day he would be a big cowboy. He saw his boots but he didn't know how to put them on by himself, so he just pushed them around with his stockinged feet. Where was Marie, he wanted to play.
Losing interest in just playing on the porch, he sank to his knees and crawled down the front steps, remembering the usual route his pa took when he was going somewhere. This route also led to the creek and the little boy smiled. It would be a good surprise for his pa to see that he was now a big boy and could go down to the creek on his own. He didn't know how to fold his crop so he dragged it behind him.
Happily kicking the little bit of snow that had fallen, he walked on, uncaring that his socks and feet were getting wet. Marie had dressed him in warm clothes but taken off his shoes for his sleep. He didn't feel the cold, but went on walking until he got to the creek.
"Pa?" He looked around and realized that his father was not at the creek. "Chammy, Chammy," he called out for Samuel but the whole place was silent. Then he saw her and smiled.
She was a beautiful lady and she was smiling at him. He had just started to feel scared because none of the familiar faces that meant safety were near. However, when he saw the beautiful lady he knew that someone had come to take him home.
"Silas, oh my dearest little boy," the woman rushed over to him and he frowned. She didn't smell as nice as his mama and when she picked him up, he struggled a little. She rained smelly kisses all over his face and he started to feel scared. He wanted to get away from this beautiful woman who didn't smell so good.
"Mama," he was calling out for his mother but Lily laughed happily, thinking the little boy was referring to her.
"Yes my little darling, your mama is here and everything will be alright. We are together again. I thought I'd lost you but nothing will ever separate us again."
Lily had found her little Silas, not realizing she was in a delusional state and the child wriggling in her arms was not her own.
"Rie," his voice wobbled, wishing Marie would come and rescue him from this woman who was holding him too tight and hurting him.
~#~#~#~
Chapter Five
Lily James was happier than she'd been in a very long time. She'd been feeling depressed at the saloon and didn't want to entertain any more customers, so she'd stolen a bottle of whiskey and left. She wanted to find her son and husband and knew they were at home so she made her way to her old house but it was shut up tight. The new owner had not taken residence yet.
Breaking a window she climbed in and searched all the rooms but the house was empty. She began sobbing as she ran from room to room, calling out for Silas and Ben, but mostly Silas.
"Where are you my little boy?" She moaned. "Come to mama," her arms ached to hold her son's warm body up close. She could hear his laughter and thought he was playing hide and seek with her. She climbed through the window once again and ran around the house.
When the bank had repossessed their property, all the animals were sold off, leaving the barn, as well as the stable, sealed up. Silas and Ben would not be in there because they couldn't get in, she reasoned. Where were they? She knew they loved the house and farm as much as she did. It just didn't make any sense that they weren't here.
"Silas, Silas where are you?" She called out, becoming more desperate and frantic. It was cold and her son was out, even though there was only a little snow. She knew instinctively her husband would come home and scold her for leaving their son unattended. "Come to mama now Silas," she called out, walking towards the creek.
Because she had been going round and round in circles she was tired and finally sank to her knees under a tree, the bottle of whiskey clutched tightly to her chest. She closed her eyes because she was tired.
Children always found a way to make their mothers tired. She slept for a little while and then woke up with a start. Her son was calling her and when she looked up she saw him, or so she thought.
It was Alexander West but Lily, immersed in an alcoholic and mental fog, thought it was her son. Who else would it be? She'd just been searching high and low for him; and here he was, calling for her. Tears of joy welled in her eyes. She had finally found her son.
"There you are my love," she dropped the bottle and ran to him, scooping him up into her arms and raining kisses all over his face. "My Silas," she crooned. "Mama is here now, you are safe." She started to sing a tuneless song to him, while her eyes retained the blankness of the insane.
~#~#~#~
"Lex," the little boy said.
"Huh?"
Alex struggled to get away because of the whiskey smell, but the harder he tried, the tighter she held. Then he decided to relax. Maybe the beautiful lady was taking him to his mama and with a smile he lay still as she hurried to town, walking quickly. She kept darting here and there, as if hiding from people and soon they came to the back of the saloon.
Gilbert kept a few horses that he hired out to people from time to time and she took Alex into the barn where they were housed. Seeing the horses, the little boy believed he was back home and he forgot his fears as he leaned against the railings head first.
He loved horses and he looked at his small crop, making sounds like he heard his father and Samuel whenever they were working with the horses. The animals liked him too. They always did and he had a special affection for the horses.
Meanwhile, seeing how happy the little boy was in the barn with the horses, Lily decided to leave him there for a moment while she went to her room. In her deranged state, it never once occurred to her that a grown horse could unintentionally kill a small child with a well aimed kick.
She was sure no one would come into the barn, but she couldn't take the chance of anyone finding her, not now she had found her son. What a joyous day it was. Lily was reunited with her darling son.
The life she was living now was not good for her and she would not bring her son up in the saloon. It was a bad place. Instead she would leave for Granger where she would find a respectable job, like cleaning maybe, and work. Most importantly, she would take care of her son Silas. She knew she could support them if she could just get away from here and work at a proper job.
"Where have you been Lily?" Gilbert called out when she entered the saloon. "Some customers have been asking for you."
"I wasn't feeling well and went to see Dr. Reginald for some laudanum," Lily lied. "He told me to rest for a while and I'll be fine soon enough." She hoped he believed her.
"Just a little while then," Gilbert called out as she disappeared into her room.
She wouldn't take all her clothes because that would make Gilbert and the others suspicious, so she picked out two good dresses, all her money that was hidden in the stash under her mattress, and walked towards the door.
She remembered that her son had no shoes and it was cold, so she would have to cover him up. She pulled a small blanket from the bed and added it to the items she would take with her.
She looked at her bundle and knew right away that if Gilbert saw it, he would suspect something. He could destroy her plan in an instant. She walked to the window, opened it and threw her bundle to the ground below, glad that her room overloo
ked the barn. That done, all she had to do now was to take herself outside and she was almost on her way to Granger.
"I just need to get a breath of fresh air - be back in a moment," she called out to Gilbert who merely grunted.
Alex hadn't moved from the stable and she quickly wrapped him in the blanket, although he protested at being taken away from his equine friends. He could have played with them for the whole day.
One of the horses had come up and nuzzled him, making him giggle. Now the pretty lady was taking him away and he opened his mouth to cry but she clamped her hand over his nose and mouth and the little boy's eyes widened.
"Sorry little Silas," she murmured. "Mama needs to take you away from this bad place. We'll go to Granger and start all over again and we'll be happy there together, I promise."
It started to snow again and while it was cold, it also meant there were very few people outside on the streets. This was perfect. Lily was very careful and kept to the back alleys until she got to the railway station where she booked her passage to Granger. There, it was done. All that remained was to find her seat on the train and think about the future.
There was a future now for her now, she could see that. All she'd needed was to find her little Silas. Now he was with her, everything would be alright.
She was going away to make a new life for herself and her son, away from the bad memories and things that had happened to her here in Tipton. Maybe she would even manage to find Ben too. In fact, she was sure of it.
Since it was two days to Christmas and there were so many people milling around the station waiting for the extra trains which were running to take excited passengers to spend time with far away families, it was easy for her to disappear into the crowd.
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