by Suzi Davis
“I shall not wait up until all hours of the night again for you, no matter what the excuse. I don’t know what you told your parents but I can hardly believe you were up to any good. In my opinion, your behavior lately is not only unbecoming but inexcusable and should not be tolerated. Please keep in mind, I work for your mother, not you, and my loyalties lie with her,” he hissed, his voice threatening, his eyes dark. I straightened my back, refusing to cower beneath his cold glare.
“You are an employee of my family’s,” I reminded him. “And I will not tolerate being spoken to in this way by any member of our staff. Do you understand me?” His eyes widened slightly as he heard the threat twisted into my words. “I’m exhausted and need to rest. You are dismissed,” I told him firmly, deliberately turning my back and walking away. I left him with only silence behind me as I walked down the shiny, tiled hall. I thought I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I walked away.
Perhaps it had been a mistake speaking back to Walter in that way but I was tired of the superior way he acted towards me – his subtle threats and dark innuendos. I was also impatient to escape to my room where I could settle into the thick covers of my bed and relax. And that’s just what I did. I decided not to let my troubles occupy any more than a small corner of my mind, allowing Sebastian’s image to swell and fill the rest of my thoughts. I fell asleep with the imagined feel of his arms around me and his beautiful voice, softly whispering in my ear.
I truly had been exhausted and the next morning I slept in. A sharp reminder from Walter over the intercom in my room woke me at 9 a.m. He coldly announced that I was to meet my parents in the dining room in half an hour when brunch would be served. I sat bolt upright in bed as I realized not only would I be facing my parents in half an hour, I would also be re-introducing them to Sebastian shortly after that. Panic nearly overwhelmed me.
I scrambled out of bed, rushing to my ensuite bathroom and into the shower. After washing my hair, I decided to take the time to dry and curl it, styling it in the way my mother approved. I’d grown too used to only wearing a little makeup and couldn’t quite bear the thought of covering my face in the creams, pastes and powders that would please my mother. I did take time selecting my outfit for the day though, choosing dark tights and a short, black skirt my mother had recently bought me. I paired it with a long, sleeve, deep purple shirt made of slinky material and a pair of heeled ankle-boots, knowing my mother would approve of the feminine outfit and designer tags. And it was nice to dress up a little, almost soothing to fall into the familiar routine of dressing for others and not my own comfort. Today I definitely wanted to please my mother; anything that might help this morning go a little smoother was worth it.
I had little time to think and prepare my story as I hurried to ready myself to confront my parents. Before I knew it I had run out of time and was hesitantly making my way down the stairs, silently praying that Sebastian wouldn’t arrive early and make things even more complicated.
I smoothed my expression and arranged a smile on my face before entering the dining room. I had decided that the best course of action would be to act as innocently as possible and to try to avoid any direct questions from my parents until I could figure out just exactly what Clarke had told them.
Surprisingly, my parents were talking to each other when I entered, or rather my mother was hissing something angrily at my father, her cheeks red and her suspicious eyes glaring. My father looked resigned, accepting her berating with only a glimmer of annoyance on his face. My mother immediately fell silent upon my arrival, her sharp hazel eyes turning my way.
“Good morning,” I greeted them calmly, smiling to each before taking my usual seat.
“Good morning, dear,” my father answered, looking relieved at the interruption. “You look nice today.”
“Do you have plans to see Clarke?” my mother asked, her tone only slightly suspicious though there did seem to be a hint of grudging approval in the way that she looked me over.
“No, not today.”
“I suppose after staying out so late with him last night, you might want to give him a little time to himself this morning, at least so he can rest and recover,” my mother assumed.
“Yes, I must say Grace, I was quite disappointed that you missed dinner last night. But it was generous of Graham to offer you and Clarke his tickets to Phantom of the Opera. Did you enjoy the show? It must have been nice to see it in a smaller venue like the Port Theatre,” my father commented.
I almost sighed in relief. So that was the story; last minute tickets to a show in Nanaimo, a two hour drive away. I wondered what Clarke had done last night; he must have avoided going home for hours so as not to blow my cover. I really did owe him.
“Yes, I did enjoy myself, thank you,” I answered politely. “And I’m sorry to have missed dinner but it was hardly an opportunity I could turn down.”
“Of course not,” my mother agreed. “I’m glad you were able to spend some time with Clarke, you haven’t seen him nearly enough lately.”
I was saved from giving a response by the arrival of Walter with our breakfast. He thoroughly ignored me, refusing to meet my eye as he pushed the serving cart into the room. He silently and efficiently served our meal and then retreated back through the side door with only a quick nod to my mother. After several recent arguments, I was finally allowed to eat the same menu as my parents. I didn’t butter my toast though and only ate one slice of bacon, earning a nod of approval from my mother as she ate.
“What are your plans for today, Gracie?” my father asked with uncharacteristic interest. He had given me the perfect opening; I wondered if I had Sebastian’s influence to thank.
“Actually, I’m going to be out for the day,” I announced, working hard to keep my voice level and calm. “I have plans with Sebastian Caldwood.” My father nodded amicably, having barely listened to my response but my mother’s reaction was immediate. She looked sharply down the table at me, her whole demeanor suddenly changing to one of shrewd aggression.
“The boy from the Gala?” my mother demanded. “Grace, he is not appropriate company for you to be keeping. Isn’t he a foster child?” Her disgust was obvious.
“Yes,” I answered firmly, unwavering.
“Ah, the Jensons’ boy.” My father seemed interested once more as he remembered. “Calm yourself, Diane, the Jensons are well-respected people and brilliant lawyers. I’m sure their son will benefit from associating with Grace and her friends. What are your plans, dear?”
“Sebastian and I have a date.” My voice was quieter than I would have liked but still echoed in the sudden silence that filled the room. Both of my parents were staring at me now.
“You absolutely do not have our permission to go on a date with that boy! Grace Lynn Stevenson, what the hell are you thinking?” my mother demanded, her voice growing more shrill by the second, her face increasingly flushed by her outrage. “And what about Clarke? Have you even considered how he might react to this?”
“Clarke is just a friend and nothing more, he knows that,” I informed her. “But if you think I should, I’ll call him and tell him that I’m dating Sebastian. I think he already knows though,” I added.
“Grace, you are not dating this boy,” my father told me, his tone heavy with disapproval. “I can’t possibly permit this. Though he may come from a good home now, the Jensons are only his foster parents. We’ve worked hard to get where we are in life, Grace, and I will not have you tarnish the image of this family by dating a charity case. I can’t believe you’d even suggest such a thing; look at how you’ve upset your mother!”
“Your father’s right; this is absolutely ridiculous!” my mother agreed heatedly, her taut cheeks flushed and her eyes flashing. “Not to mention the fact that the boy looks like trouble. I can hardly believe they permit his type at Craigflower; he shouldn’t be associating with the likes of us.”
It was the reaction I’d expected, though I had desperately hoped it woul
dn’t be so. I sat there, speechless, my mother and father both fixing me with hard stares. There was no way I could sway them, I knew that. But was I strong enough, could I be brave enough to defy them?
Just then, Walter reentered the room. He looked slightly puzzled as he seemed to read the tense atmosphere he’d walked in upon.
“Eliza tells me a Master Caldwood is here to see Miss Grace,” he announced, his expression almost smug as he saw my mother’s eyes widen in outrage and the angry set of my father’s mouth.
“Tell him Grace is unavailable,” my mother instructed, her glare challenging me to argue.
“Really? It was rude of you not to call then,” Sebastian teased as he strolled into the dining room behind Walter. His eyes quickly sought out mine, his smile quickening the pace of my heart. He looked magnificent, completely at ease even though my parents were staring incredulously at him. I noticed he’d dressed up today; his hair was neatly brushed back instead of in its usual, messy spikes. He wore jeans but with a black, v-neck sweater and a dark gray blazer over top. I couldn’t see his studded belt or chain today either. He even appeared to be wearing plain black shoes. I saw my mother’s eyes immediately go to the multiple piercings in his ears and the heavy rings that decorated his fingers. Her mouth pulled down in a contemptuous sneer.
“Young man, you can not just burst in upon us unannounced and unwelcome like this,” my father blustered, his face beginning to turn red as he spoke.
“I believe I was announced,” Sebastian politely corrected, gesturing to Walter who for once appeared to be without a snide comment. He was staring at Sebastian almost as incredulously as I was, his black eyes wide with what appeared to be shock. “I am sorry to find that I am unwelcome here. Not to worry though, Grace and I will not inconvenience you any further,” he assured my father with a smile. For a moment my parents appeared stunned by this pronouncement. Even in his obvious defiance of their wishes, Sebastian was nothing but polite and charming. When his gaze met mine, I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling strangely at ease now that he was here, no matter how poorly the situation was going.
“You are sorely mistaken if you think that our daughter is going anywhere with you,” my mother snapped, recovering herself first. I noticed Sebastian sigh under his breath. He didn’t answer her, instead he looked to me with his head cocked to one side, waiting. I took a deep breath as I stood up; I wasn’t frightened anymore.
“Unfortunately, Mother, you’re mistaken if you think you’re at liberty to make that decision for me,” I quietly corrected her. Her eyes bulged at my words, her expression one of pure outrage.
“Grace Lynn Stevenson! You will not show your mother such blatant disrespect!” my father thundered, losing his temper at last. His face was now purple.
“Why should I be respectful towards her when she is being disrespectful to me and to Sebastian? When she is disregarding my wishes and denying me my own happiness?” I demanded, my voice gaining strength as I spoke. Sebastian gave a small nod of encouragement, his eyes sympathetic. “I’m eighteen, I’m legally an adult,” I reminded them, “and it is perfectly within my rights to decide who I associate myself with and who I date. You don’t have to like it but you do have to accept it. If you can’t…” I looked to Sebastian for support then, he smiled gently at me.
“If you can’t accept Grace’s decision then she can come live with me. I would hope it doesn’t come to that though,” he added, the sincerity of his words obvious.
“Get out of my house – now!” my mother hissed at Sebastian, her hands white where they were gripping the tabletop, her face twisted into an ugly snarl.
“Both of you,” my father added, his voice low and dangerous. I looked to him then and was shocked. I had never seen him so angry before. He glared back at me, his eyes as cold and empty as if I were a stranger to him. “Get out,” he growled, his voice a clear warning.
I held back my sudden tears as I hurried around the table to Sebastian’s side. He placed a gentle hand on my back, guiding me out of the room. Walter still stood by the door, his expression cruelly satisfied as he looked down his nose at me. Surprisingly though, he took an almost nervous step back as Sebastian paused in the doorway behind me.
“I’m sorry it had to come to this,” Sebastian said quietly, speaking to my parents over his shoulder. Without waiting for a response, he quickened his step, catching up to my side and tightly clasping my hand as the dining room door swung shut behind us, an ominous silence in our wake.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian repeated again, once we were outside the house. I didn’t answer, not trusting my voice. Tears silently trickled down my cheeks. Sebastian looked at me, his eyes full of guilt as he tenderly wiped my tears away with the sleeve of his sweater.
“It’s not your fault,” I whispered, my voice shaky.
“It is,” he argued, he looked almost as upset as I felt. “Come on, we can talk in the car.” He pulled me towards a shiny black BMW that I had only just noticed in the driveway. The unfamiliar car distracted me slightly. A questioning glance to Sebastian was all it took.
“I borrowed Don’s car,” he explained. “I thought your parents might be slightly more welcoming if I didn’t arrive on a motorcycle. A lot of good that was worth,” he added with a short, humorless laugh as he held open the passenger side door.
I didn’t speak until we were several kilometers away from my parents’ house. I brooded in the silence, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened, trying to get my emotions under control. Had I really just been kicked out of my house? How had things gone so terribly wrong?
“What am I going to do? I thought you said everything was going to be okay? That your greatest heart’s desire was for me to be happy?” I asked, sadly. “I’m not angry with you,” I clarified, noticing Sebastian’s morose expression, “just confused.” He heaved a sigh, frowning at the road ahead.
“I’m angry enough with myself,” he told me, and he did sound angry, and frustrated. “I didn’t realize how badly I wanted…” he trailed off, glancing at me guiltily. “I hadn’t consciously decided that’s what I wanted, please believe me. And I do want you to be happy but I suppose I also want, very badly, for you to be with me, to never have to leave… I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
I sat in stunned silence. I could feel myself gawking at him.
“You… you wanted this to happen?”
“Not exactly. I didn’t want you to get hurt; I never wanted to upset you. But I didn’t realize how badly I wanted you near me. I told you, I can’t control it.” He looked away from the road to meet my gaze, his face desperate, his dark eyes pleading. “There are so many reasons why I should never have gotten close to you, Gracelynn. I’m afraid this won’t be the last time something like this will happen. I’m not sure I can even fix things now. It’s very difficult to try to not want something; the mind can be rationalized with but the heart...”
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back against the seat. It took me a few minutes before I could speak.
“It was just my father’s reaction that upset me. The way he looked at me… just please, for me, try to want him to forgive me?” I asked, softly. “Other than that though… it’s not like I was that happy living there. I rarely saw my parents anyway - but what will I do now?”
“You’ll stay with me,” Sebastian answered without hesitation. “The Jensons have a guest room; you will be welcome to stay with us until we can sort this all out.”
“No, I don’t want to cause trouble for them. They’re good people and even though my father likes them, he won’t hesitate to go after them if they become involved in the situation.”
“They’ll be fine. I’ve never wanted trouble for them and I still don’t. Don’t worry about them,” Sebastian reassured me.
“But what about school? If I’m not living at home, my parents won’t continue to pay my tuition at Craigflower… I suppose I could complete my last semester at a public school.”
“You can stay at Craigflower. If that’s what you want then I’ll take care of it,” Sebastian promised. I didn’t doubt him.
“My clothes, all my things…”
“I’ll go back later and get a few things for you. I can be very sneaky when I want to be,” he pointed out, his lips twitching into a timid smile. I tried to return it, all I could manage was a weak grimace. “I’m so sorry this happened, Gracelynn. I wish there was something I could do…”
“Why can’t you want my parents to accept you and our relationship?” I asked, quietly. He sadly shook his head.
“It doesn’t work like that. I don’t want you to stay at your parents’ house because I know you aren’t happy there and I want you to be close to me too. No matter how selfish that is, I can’t help how I feel. And I don’t want them to accept me because for that to happen, I’d have to change who I am and I can’t. I won’t do that. Not for them.”
“Oh.”
We rode in silence for several more minutes. I stared out at the cold, gray day. The raindrops that hit the windshield were thick and slushy but as I watched, they suddenly change to become light, floating snowflakes, each one large enough to see its perfectly formed, unique pattern as it glanced against the glass. The snowflakes swirled around the car as we sped down the street. I could clearly see it was raining still everywhere else yet we drove in our own little miraculous snow globe, the flakes melting back into fat, icy drops as soon as the car passed them.
“Sebastian?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately, glancing at me with concern-filled eyes. I wondered if he’d even noticed the snow or if these strange events were so commonplace to him now that they didn’t even attract his attention.
“Right now I’m feeling a little sad, definitely confused and completely overwhelmed but I want you to know… I’m still happy, as ridiculous as that may seem. All I really need is to be with you.” This time it was easier to smile at him. His relief was obvious, his answering smile radiant.
“Nothing about you is ridiculous, Gracelynn. I’ll take care of you, I promise. And I’ll figure this out, somehow. There has to be a way… I want it to work out between us so badly.” His voice was soft and desperate. I reached over and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
