by Jaime Marks
Kyle slid his thumb over his lips. “Hey, I fell apart last week. This is your week, ok? I’ve got you.” He kissed his forehead. “Go. She can feel you blocking her and she needs to know both of us and Steph are alright.”
He nodded and breathed deeply. “I love you, Kyle.”
“Ditto,” he smiled. “We’ll sort this out.”
He took to the mist trying to sort out how he was supposed to fight something he couldn’t see or sense. Now he had to worry about the people he was supposed to rely on the most not trusting them. He knew that they were just trying to figure things out like he and Kyle were, but they needed to work together, not start drawing lines in the sand.
Chapter 19
Mythos stared at Stephynia trying to figure out how to address this. She was curled up on the bed where Kyle had set her down before he left. If he moved close to her, she shied away. How was he supposed to fix this if she would not even look at him, let alone discuss what had occurred? He wanted that boy’s head, and if he was finally Shade, he would taste his blade.
“Caria, I love you. I know there is more than this. We are mates, you have heard the decrees as well as I have, and I know I own your heart. Please, before you shut me out completely, if you expect me to believe that you have betrayed me…if after all we have both been through to get to this point you mean to deny me, at least allow me to see what occurred, myself, and pass my own judgment,” he reasoned knowing full well that there was more to what that male had put her through.
“You always make excuses for me, Mythos. If I show you…” She sobbed shaking her head. “You’ll convince me to stay, maybe even to bond, but I’ll betray you again and it will tear you apart. I can’t.”
She was shaking and her cries were breaking his heart. Her words, on the other hand, were a knife that cut him deeply.
“You will not allow me to fix this?” He questioned, sighing heavily when he moved to sit on the bed and she shrank away from him. “Stephynia, I could pull you into my arms, soothe your fears and pressure you into this, but I will not. He has forced you to make decisions you would never choose. He has forced you to accept him, to bind to him, to mate with him. I will never force you to choose me.” He paced away from her considering his options. “And yet I am still your mate. It is my place to see to your safety and care.”
He reached out to Cymeryn and waited impatiently. It was going against his every judgment to allow this. What he really wanted was to take her home, back to the Realm of Light, and Bond this eve as he had planned; but they had broken the Sequester and she would not even let him near her. He knew this was likely a temporary situation, but it was deplorable.
Cymeryn, Marcus, and Kyle appeared. “Sorry for the delay, but there are other issues that we were monitoring. Also, neither Marcus nor myself can breech Byryn’s seal,” Cymeryn explained with a touch of annoyance. “Kyle needed to provide entry.”
He surveyed the three of them, noting their tension but nodded. “Kyle said that we needed to meet. I am free as soon as we rectify this…” He glanced back to the bed. “…as much as it can be for the moment.”
“Rectify what?” Marcus requested. “We haven’t had a chance to fill each other in.”
Mythos frowned, not wanting to discuss this, but it was necessary if she would not even speak with him. “John invaded Stephynia’s mind and there was an…incident. She feels she has betrayed me, and as such, means to deny our bond.” He scrubbed his face. “I will not allow her to disgrace herself like this, nor will I allow her to run. She needs time and she will have it. Where are we with that bastard?”
Cymeryn sighed, “He has awakened Shade. Vilyn and Scratryn were pulled back to Pravyous and they managed to pull him with them.”
“And the other?” He prompted.
“Redeemed and secured,” Kyle offered, though there seemed to be an edge to his nephew’s voice he could not read. It was not something he could deal with in this moment.
“Good.” He needed to know she would be safe here. Turning back to face her, he braced himself. “I will ask you this last time, caria. Will you please allow me to fix this between us?” She shook her head and he sighed. “Fine. This suite is now yours. Meryn is your guard and will remain with you, but you will abide by whatever security precautions Cymeryn and Marcus decide. I will give you your space, but we will share meal alone once per day, and you will see me. We are both of the Lucerna Lines and we share some responsibilities. I will neither allow you to ruin this life you have built, nor will I allow you to run from this family.” He sat on the bed beside her and went to take her hand, but she pulled back and he nearly shattered. The pain of this was impossible. “I will never turn you away, Stephynia. I love you with every part of my being, and I know, I know you love me. I am only doing this because it is your will and I will not have you placing yourself in danger to get away from me. I beg you to reconsider this, to at least speak with me about it. You have until after we meet with the Lucerna Lines to think this through. After that I must return to the Realm of Light and find some way to salvage this in the eyes of the public.”
They had already delayed the Bonding thrice over. It was easy enough to explain that they were being overly cautious with security due to the ceremony, but some were beginning to speculate that a very different issue was occurring. There was talk that either she had denied him or was in some manner impure herself. There would be no way to completely silence those rumors until the eve they were bound.
He rose, forcing himself to retain his composure as he walked away from her. The pain was excruciating. She was blocking him, denying him even her emotions. She would not look at him, would not allow him to touch her, and refused to discuss this.
He could feel the confusion in her, knew John’s essence flowed through her despite the fact that the attack had been mental. The bruising on her face and blood on her lip had not escaped his notice. To her, what had occurred was more real than a mere dream, and it was destroying her. What she did not understand in this moment, shutting him out like this felt like more of a betrayal than whatever the Shade had done.
Cymeryn watched as Kyle escorted Mythos from the room. They would be meeting soon and he needed to try to reach Steph beforehand. There was no way he would believe that this was what she really wanted. It was more likely she felt it was what she deserved.
He sat on the bed, trying to discern her mental state. The poor girl was destroyed. Something red on her lip caught his attention and alarm rang through him. He reached over, gently gripping her chin, but she fought him.
“Look at me, Steph. Now,” he commanded sternly and a shudder ran through her. It was enough for him to know she had been badly mistreated, but the attack was to have been mental.
She turned slowly and he drew a breath to steady himself. It was faded, but her face was bruised in the shape of a hand, her lip was swollen, split and lined with blood, though she was well on her way to being fully healed. He lifted her arm, inspecting the bruises. They were not from bindings. He knew just by what he could see there were likely more that were covered by her clothes.
“Steph, you are my family, but I would like to think more than that we have become friends.” He sighed, “Please, tell me why you are doing this to yourself. You did not betray Mythos. This was not consensual. You fought him. The signs are visible for any to see.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
He watched her curl up into a ball. “My dear, your Father would not want this for you. None of us do, and I do not believe for a moment that you want this yourself.”
“Steph, if you won’t let your mate help you, please let us. We’re your family,” Marcus tried.
She climbed off the bed and into the window seat, curling up there. “I did betray him. I know you don’t think I did, but I did, and I can’t…I won’t ask him to accept that.”
“Isn’t that his choice? What he can handle and what he can’t?” Marcus prompted. “Reyana once felt the same way,
and she tore herself apart over it, but she never needed to. Both Cymeryn and I knew her heart and accepted the truth of it long before she stopped bearing the burden of a guilt she never had to own.”
“If she had shared her concerns and pain with Marcus openly, he may have been able to ease her until I could reach them. I had already tried to convince her that she should talk to him. Our mates often understand us better than we even understand ourselves,” Cymeryn explained.
She shook her head. “This isn’t the same thing and he always justifies my behavior. There’s always an excuse. If I give in, if I let him convince me that this is alright and Ravyshyn comes for me, I don’t know that I can deny him. I will betray Mythos again, and it’s already too hard to pull away.”
Cymeryn chose his words carefully, trying to figure out the best way to broach the topic. “Do you care for John?”
There was a long pause while they gave her the time she needed to answer. When she did, her voice was shaking and she sounded confused and frustrated. “I used to think I loved him. I would have given him anything, Cymeryn. He took care of me when I had no one. The night he arranged my rape I thought it would be just the two of us. I was going to give him everything,” she sobbed and he misted to sit beside her, rubbing her back.
“Take your time, Steph,” he spoke softly reassuring her.
“The girls on the team always felt he was so controlling and demanding but…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t remember the past and my Grandmother was so distant and cold. I didn’t know what it felt like to be taken care of, to be loved, and I always felt safe with him. Even after the rape, after I shut him out, he still looked after me, protected me. That night nearly destroyed me, but losing him was almost worse. I’ve never been able to tell him no. Even when I fight him, part of me screams to just let go, and apparently I can’t fight him anymore, so how the hell am I supposed to shut him out?”
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know anymore,” she cried collapsing in his arms.
He held her, rubbing her back as he tried to figure out how to proceed. It was difficult to tell if her confusion was born of real emotion, or confusion that John had caused in her mind. “Steph, I want you to remember who I am, who I was before I came here. There are things I will understand that others may not. I will never chastise you, nor will I judge you for how you feel or the choices you make, but I need you to be honest with me if I am going to be able to help you. Do you understand?”
She nodded but did not reply and he debated how to word his question.
“It is plain to see that John was rough with you. There are bruises on your arms. I can tell he smacked your face. You claim you betrayed Mythos, so I must ask, did you enjoy how he treated you?” He broached cautiously. “I will not judge you for it. I am simply trying to understand.”
“I…” She hesitated, her lip trembling ever so slightly. “Not at first.”
“I want you to consider this carefully, because it is important. First, did you begin to enjoy it before, or after, he flooded you with his essence?”
She ducked her head but he gripped her chin, redirecting her to look at him. “There has never been anything outwardly submissive about you, Steph, and I will not allow you to convert to such behavior. You have nothing to be ashamed of and there is no reason to hide from me. This may not be a comfortable topic, but I assure you, even if the answer is before it does not mean I will think less of you.”
She nodded, seeming to internalize his words, and took a deep breath. “Some of it was before.”
“What were you responding to before he used his essence? The pain or the control?” He questioned.
She faltered at his words, but nodded to herself as she considered it. “The control.”
“What was your reaction to the pain?”
“Anger, at first,” she replied without hesitation, “but after the essence it only seemed to enhance…everything.”
“Now, explain to me, Steph, if you wanted this, why did the pain make you angry? The marks on your body are defensive. You were angry that he was hurting you. Why were you angry, Steph?” He pressed.
Whether it was because he pushed her too far, or because she simply could not deal with the truth of it yet, she pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter. I gave into him and I know it’ll happen again. I won’t continue to hurt Mythos that way, and I’m done discussing it.”
Cymeryn studied her and nodded. “For now.”
Marcus sighed heavily. “Come on. The others are waiting and there’s a lot to discuss.”
Byryn formed in front of them and he could feel the tension between them, but it was not the time to address it. Though it seemed to be something that was occurring between them more and more as of late. “Sorry, I wanted to make sure she was ok and I unsealed the room,” he offered with a shrug.
“We were just about to head to the meeting,” he replied.
“I’ll meet you there. I need to get Wytheryn and Narysia.” He paused glancing back. “I’m assuming you want them both there?”
“Of course, they’re both part of the Lucerna Lines. You’ll probably have to work with him so he’ll understand it, but he has as much right to know what’s going on in the Kingdoms and have a say in it as the rest of us,” Marcus reasoned.
Byryn grunted but misted without comment. Cymeryn groaned, “I hate this.”
“I know, brother, but we agreed we need to figure out what’s going on with them.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” Steph asked perking up.
He sighed, “We will discuss it at the meeting. There is a lot of ground we must cover so we should be going.”
He offered her his hand, feeling the weight of the Kingdoms and this family once again. They had been gifted so much good, but it seemed Reyana was right. For everything good they were given, every joy that was gifted, there was an equally intense pain they needed to endure. He had more reason than any to hold firm to his faith, but it was quickly becoming a strain to believe they could come out the other end of all this victorious. They may win this war, but at what cost to their family?
Reyana looked up in concern when Mythos appeared with Kyle and immediately read the pain on his face. How in the realms her brother thought he could pull this off was beyond her. She opened her arms as he sat beside her, allowing her to pull him close. The others looked on in concern with questions clearly written on their faces, but right now he was her main concern.
“She’ll come around. You know she will,” she reassured him.
She’d heard everything through her link with Marcus and Cymeryn, including their conversation with Steph. That poor girl was so lost and confused and Mythos wasn’t any better. What they really need was each other, but unfortunately Steph was withdrawing. She needed time and space to get her head on right. Hopefully once she did she’d seek him out.
“I know. It just hurts that she is suffering and will not allow me to help her,” Mythos’ voice was soft and quiet. Two qualities that rarely described her brother. The pain she saw in him worried her.
He pulled back and she shifted, trying to reposition. He studied her a moment. “Are you alright?”
She shot him an annoyed look. “I’m fine, just a bit stiff since Sanytia continually places me on bed rest. It probably doesn’t help that I feel like a beach ball full of water.”
He chuckled, “Reyana you are barely even showing. You are hardly any kind of ball and I am sure both the fluid and rest are good for you.” His smile faded as quickly as it appeared, but at least she could still make him smile.
Grifyn stood kissing Trina and got some fruit and water for her before making his way to them. “Is everything alright? Were they able to locate Steph?”
“I apologize, Grifyn, I should have ensured you were aware,” Mythos sighed. “I am just not thinking clearly at the moment. She is safe and here in our…” He choked on the word and turned staring off at nothing. “She is in our suite,” he finally fini
shed.
Grifyn went to say something but Reyana shook her head. “There will be some things changing temporarily, but we’ll discuss them when the others get here.”
He hesitated but gave her a curt nod before rejoining Trina. She breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that the others didn’t listen to her, but Marcus and Cymeryn generally fielded things so she didn’t have to deal with the additional stress. They commanded authority so easily. She knew she had the power and ability, she ruled her Kingdom without question or hesitation, but it didn’t always feel quite natural for her to wield it over her family.
Byryn appeared with Star and Astryn. He looked over to Mythos and shook his head, but turned back to Staryana, scooping her into his arms. He set her on the couch beside Kyle. None of them said anything but she suspected they were communicating mentally. There was an edge to them that didn’t make sense and definitely wasn’t there earlier. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. There had to be something she’d missed. She knew Byryn and Cymeryn were both irritated but she had missed the cause of it.
“I do not know how to reach her, Reyana,” Mythos spoke quietly, drawing her attention. “If she will not let me even speak to her, how am I supposed to reach her?”
“You’re doing the only thing you can really do for now; encouraging her to keep going, and giving her space to sort out her head. It’s not always the easiest thing to do.”
He nodded. “I know, and I can respect the fact that she does not wish to mislead me or hurt me, but can she not see that this will hurt me as well?”
Reyana pondered it a moment. “I’m not sure. I didn’t hear everything that was said, but I do know that she loves you and you love her. You’re bonding. It’s not something she’ll be able to ignore forever.” Cymeryn reached out and she sighed. “They’ll be here in a minute.”
He scrubbed his face but forced his composure, though he didn’t bother to hide the pain. “Thank you for listening.”
