He’d made a complete fool of himself over her. There was no denying that. Everyone knew. Phillip Sinclair, the man who declared to one and all that he didn’t want to marry for years yet, had proposed to the beautiful American within a month of meeting her. It was ridiculous.
“Yes, you’ve been acting terribly, but we understand why.” Simon acknowledged Phillip’s words, as he slowly covered a piece of toast with strawberry preserves. “Have you heard the latest news?”
“What news?”
Simon paused, his eyes flickering. “The news about Meredith Remington.”
Phillip squared his shoulders. It was the first time his brother had mentioned her name to him. He hadn’t even been able to talk about her. The only person with whom he could confide about what had happened between him and Meredith was Lady Katherine Vickers, when he’d gone to visit her that first afternoon after he ended the engagement.
“What about Miss Remington?” Phillip asked. He then added, “Has she told some new lie about who she is?”
“No.” Simon shook his head, eyeing Phillip closely. “She’s leaving London.”
An odd feeling came over Phillip at the thought of Meredith leaving. It took him completely by surprise. His stomach clenched and he felt a moment of panic.
“She’s going back to New York then, I suppose?” he asked, trying not to reveal his emotions to his brother.
“Yes, she and her aunt and the children are leaving together next week.”
“I suppose it’s for the best,” Phillip responded, rather lost in his own thoughts.
Of course Meredith would go back to New York. Where else would she go? She certainly couldn’t show her face here in London anymore. She and her aunt had become a laughingstock. And so had he, because of her. Still, knowing that she was leaving and that he might never see her again left him feeling even more out of sorts. He didn’t like to think of Meredith so far away from him.
“Her desk arrived.”
“Excuse me?”
Phillip had completely forgotten that he’d arranged for Meredith’s beloved desk to be brought from New York with Uncle Harrison and Aunt Juliette. He’d heard that they had all arrived the other day, but he’d yet to see them, and the desk’s arrival in London never even entered his mind.
But he had been very pleased to arrange it, so excited to make Meredith happy with this wonderful surprise. Phillip remembered the day when she had first told him about the desk that had belonged to her mother and how much she missed it. The night he proposed to Meredith, he spoke to her aunt privately to learn where the desk was being stored in New York. It was a simple enough matter to arrange to have it brought over after that. Phillip knew without a doubt that Meredith would be thrilled by having the desk back in her possession.
He wished he’d seen her face when she saw it. He could easily imagine her full lips breaking into a joyous smile of surprised delight, her blue eyes bright with excitement, and soft color suffusing her cheeks. How he’d wanted to be there to see that expression! To watch her smile and to see her fling her arms around him in happiness!
He loved making her happy, and he had wanted to spend the rest of his life doing just that, simply because being with her brought him so much joy.
But all that was ruined now.
“Has she seen it? Was she surprised?”
“Yes, Meredith was quite surprised. She was shocked, in fact, but she is also a little annoyed with you for bringing the desk over.”
“Excuse me?” Phillip cried, outrage simmering in his chest. “She’s annoyed with me? Because I made a touching gesture of my love for her?”
The girl had some nerve! After what she put him through, she was bothered by his loving and incredibly thoughtful gift? He was almost rendered speechless by her ungrateful audacity.
“Yes,” Simon went on coolly, “you see, she now has to make arrangements to have it shipped back to New York. It is quite a hassle. So it seems, my dear brother, that you had it brought here for nothing.”
Phillip rose to his feet, anger swelling within him. Anger at Meredith. Anger at himself. Anger at the entire situation.
“Well, how was I supposed to know the wedding was to be called off? How was I supposed to know that doing something special to surprise the woman I love would be a pointless endeavor?” Phillip’s voice grew louder with each word.
His brother looked oddly pleased, as if he were trying to keep a smile off his face.
“How do you know all of this anyway?” Phillip snapped at him. “Have you seen her?”
“As a matter of fact, I have,” Simon stated, taking a bite of his toast. “Meredith is still a good friend of mine.”
Stunned, Phillip sank back into his chair. Simon and Meredith were friends? When did that happen? What did his brother mean by that?
“A friend of yours? Even after she lied to all of us about who she really is, you are still speaking with her?” Phillip questioned.
Unruffled, Simon calmly took a sip of coffee. “Of course, I see her and talk to her. She was my friend before the scandal, a good friend, and she’s still my friend now. That’s what friends do. We help each other through diff i-cult times.”
“You don’t care that these difficult times happened to your brother? And were caused by her? Didn’t you think to care about me? About how I was doing?”
“It was quite clear how you were doing, Phillip. You were out drinking or hiding in bed most of the time. There was not much for me to do for you when you were like that.”
Twinges of shame sparked within Phillip. His brother was right. Phillip had shut out everyone since news of the scandal hit town and he began behaving like a prized idiot.
“Meredith, on the other hand, was on her own and quite brokenhearted.”
Phillip stilled. “Did she tell you that?”
“Tell me? No, she didn’t need to tell me. I’ve got eyes, haven’t I?” Simon stated, quite convinced of Meredith’s heartache.
Yet Meredith had been so cold to him the day Phillip confronted her with the truth. She’d barely batted an eyelash at him. It was almost as if she didn’t care that she had lied to everyone and caused a scandal of such magnitude, or that she’d broken his heart. It was almost as if she didn’t care that he ended their engagement and called off their wedding.
And then again, that only proved that she was simply marrying him for his money, which was the sole purpose of her visit to London in the first place. She was only out to snare a rich husband, and she almost succeeded.
She had never really loved Phillip, whereas he had been head over heels in love with her. He’d never met anyone like Meredith before. She had done something to him. She changed him. She made him want to be a better person.
And then just as quickly as he’d found her, he’d lost her. The pain of that loss was unbearable. Which was why he’d ended up turning to Lady Katherine Vickers for comfort.
The fact that his brother was informing him now that Meredith was indeed upset, brokenhearted to use Simon’s own words, left him feeling bewildered.
“I’m not sure I believe what you’re saying,” murmured Phillip.
“It’s true,” Simon continued. “She cried for days after you left. Her aunt said Meredith couldn’t even get out of bed. She was quite devastated by what you did to her.”
“What I did?” Phillip asked, incredulous.
Again, Meredith had some nerve to blame all of this on him! This was entirely her fault. She was the one who lied to him. She was the mercenary one, marrying the man with the most money.
Simon dismissed his question with a wave of his hand. “Yes, what you did, Phillip. You didn’t give her, the woman you supposedly loved so much you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, the benefit of the doubt. You never asked to hear her side of the story or let her explain.”
“She has no story. She lied to me! She lied to everyone. She didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.” Phillip’s words came out harshly.
>
“But didn’t you ever wonder why? Why would Meredith go along with this preposterous lie, which was bound to be discovered at some point?”
Phillip grew quiet.
“She truly loves you,” Simon pointed out. “And I will vouch for her honesty in that area. And she has truly been devastated by this.”
“Well that makes two of us.”
Phillip hated to think of Meredith crying and sad. He wished he could hold her in his arms again and soothe her. He had never wanted to end things between them, but he’d had no choice given the circumstances. Any self-respecting gentleman would have done the same thing in that situation.
“Do you still love her?”
“Yes,” Phillip admitted somewhat reluctantly. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Meredith Remington, and he doubted that he ever would again.
“Then talk to her, Phillip,” Simon urged gently. “Just go talk to her.”
“What’s the point now?” Phillip asked. “She’s leaving London soon and—”
“It’s not too late. There’s still time to talk her out of going.”
“I don’t know . . .”
“At least hear what she has to say before she leaves.... You owe that to her, but, even more importantly, you owe that to yourself.”
Conflicted, Phillip hesitated. Part of him wanted to run to her and kiss her and apologize for everything. The other part of him feared what she would say to him. What if she refused to speak to him? What if he went to her and discovered that she really hadn’t loved him after all? He didn’t think he could bear it. But his brother’s words echoed in his head.
At least hear what she has to say before she leaves.... You owe that to her, but even more importantly you owe that to yourself.
Perhaps Simon was right after all. Maybe he should at least talk to Meredith before she leaves. The prospect of seeing her again pulled at his heart, and something akin to hope blossomed in his chest.
“Do you think she would see me?” he asked Simon.
His brother smiled wide in satisfaction. “I know for a fact that she would.”
28
As Good As Your Word
“We could simply hit him over the head,” Sara Fleming Townsend suggested at last with a mischievous smile, “and knock some sense into him that way.”
Meredith was having afternoon tea with Mara Sheridan and Sara Townsend, at Sara’s beautiful London townhouse where she lived with her husband when they weren’t in New York. The two Hamilton cousins were trying to plot ways to get Phillip and Meredith back together, but they couldn’t seem to agree on a plan.
“If only it were as easy as hitting him over the head,” Mara remarked dryly.
“I think I owe him a good thump on the head,” Sara said, looking as stylish as could be in a day gown that consisted of layers of cream ruffles. “Do you remember when Phillip hit me with that paddle he found on the Sea Minx? I had a bump on my forehead the size of a fist!”
Mara laughed lightly. “Yes, I remember that. We were about ten years old then, and your father had let us play on deck while we were aboard the ship with him. But I don’t think striking Phillip on the head will solve our problem right now.”
“You are both very sweet to try and help me, but I think Phillip needs to come around on his own,” Meredith ventured to say.
She didn’t want Phillip to come to her dragging his heels or because he had been tricked. Forcing his hand to meet with her left her feeling uneasy. She wanted him to want to see her.
“It’ll never happen if you wait for him to come to you on his own,” Sara explained. “Men are too slow, and you’re leaving London in a matter of days. It’ll be too late by then. Besides, we have the right to meddle in Phillip’s life, because Phillip meddled in our lives before we were married. Didn’t he, Mara?”
“He most certainly did,” Mara added with an amused look. “Phillip involved himself in our affairs even though we both told him to mind his own business, so it’s only fair for us to do the same to him. He was being overprotective of us and acting as our big brother then, and now we have only the best intentions too.”
Getting to know Phillip’s two cousins had been bittersweet for Meredith. She adored them and knew instinctively that both women would have been dear friends of hers, if she were staying in London. They all had a lot in common with each other. She and Sara were both from New York, and since Sara still spent a few months of the year there, they made plans to see each other when Sara was there next.
As it was, she spent what was most likely her last afternoon with the Hamilton cousins before she left London, discussing life and listening to their ideas to reunite her with Phillip. Meredith knew nothing would come of their plans and schemes, but she appreciated that the women wanted to help her.
After tea with the cousins ended, Meredith had been too restless to stay at home with her aunts, especially since her book was now completed. Needing air, she went for a walk instead. She and Aunt Delilah were scheduled to sail for New York the day after tomorrow. Knowing she was leaving this city, Meredith took in the sights of London one last time. Before she realized it, her path had taken her, not surprisingly, to Hamilton’s Book Shoppe.
For the last time, Meredith made her way upstairs to the private residence above the bookshop, and sat at her very own cherrywood desk, just gazing out the window at the London rooftops.
Enjoying the quiet moment, she thought about how much she would miss this city when she was back in New York. In a surprisingly short amount of time, she had grown to love London. Actually, there were certain people in London that she had grown to love, and after another two days, she would most likely never see them again. So much had happened to her since she had come to London.
The thought pulled at her heart. Goodbyes were never easy, and these goodbyes were particularly difficult. Tomorrow she would stop by Devon House. She owed an apology to Colette Hamilton Sinclair, and Meredith wished to say goodbye to her in person.
With a heavy heart, she realized that yet another new chapter in her life was about to begin. This time it would be a life without Phillip Sinclair in it. She didn’t know how she would bear the emptiness. She feared she would live with the terrible loss of him every day for the rest of her life. Would she ever love again? It certainly didn’t seem possible.
“Meredith?”
Startled from her reverie by his voice, she turned to see Phillip standing in the doorway. His handsome face looked at her with uncertainty, and he hesitated before stepping farther into the room.
She stared at him in disbelief. She had believed that she would never see him again, and now, here he was, standing in front of her. Her heart began to beat faster and her stomach did a little somersault.
“I stopped by your aunt’s house, and she guessed you might be here,” he said, sounding slightly nervous. “I hope you don’t mind that I came looking for you.”
Meredith still hadn’t said a single word, suddenly rendered motionless and speechless at his unexpected arrival. She was too filled with a multitude of conflicting emotions at seeing his face again. She longed to run to him. She longed to hide.
A rather tense silence ensued. They simply stared at each other.
She was struck by the change in his appearance. He looked nothing like a pompous and privileged lord now, as he had the first day she’d laid eyes on him in the bookshop. Or the day that he ended their engagement. No, there was now an air of contrition and uncertainty about him, a definite vulnerability. His usual jovial, charming, and confident persona was absent.
Phillip stepped farther into the room, coming closer to her.
“I owe you—”
“Thank you for—”
They both paused, then smiled awkwardly at speaking at the same time.
Phillip gave a nod of his head in deference to her. “Please, you go first.”
Tears welling in her eyes, Meredith rose on shaky legs from where she sat at the desk. They stared at each ot
her as he waited for her to speak. Suddenly unable to find any of the words she had longed for weeks to say to him, she barely thought about what she was doing.
In a mad rush, she ran to where Phillip stood. He held his arms out to her and she flung her arms around him.
He enfolded her in his warm embrace and held her tightly against him, murmuring her name over and over again and whispering, “Merry, don’t cry,” as she sobbed against his chest.
She eventually calmed and stopped crying. They stood like that for some time, without words, just holding each other, taking pleasure in each other’s presence and the feel of being in each other’s arms once again.
Phillip ended the silence first, pulling away from the embrace. His expression was full of longing. “I’m sorry, Merry, so sorry. I’ve been a pompous fool, and I never should have treated you that way.”
“I’m sorry too,” she whispered. “I should have told you the truth right from the start. I longed to tell you so many times, truly I did. I never wanted to be a part of that ridiculous lie. I only wanted you.”
He cupped her face between his two hands and stared intently into her eyes. “We won’t ever be apart again, I swear it.”
Before she could respond, his mouth came down over hers in a possessive and searing kiss that left her shaking with desire and wanting more. Meredith couldn’t breathe or think or move. All she could do was place her arms back around his neck and hold on.
He’s here with me! He’s kissing me! Her mind sang the words over and over again. The thrill of having Phillip back eclipsed all reason. She had missed him terribly and longed to be with him. It felt as if they had been apart forever.
Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth to him in invitation, and he growled low with approval, pulling her closer with his lean, muscular arms. Her excitement grew as his warm tongue entered her mouth and entwined with hers. The kiss increased in fervor, and they were both lost again. Lost in each other.
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