Cat on the Scent
Rita Mae Brown
To a cat queen,
Elizabeth Putnam Sinsel
* * *
Cast of Characters
Mary Minor Haristeen (Harry), the young postmistress of Crozet
Mrs. Murphy, Harry’s gray tiger cat
Tee Tucker, Harry’s Welsh corgi, Mrs. Murphy’s friend and confidante
Pewter, Market’s shamelessly fat gray cat, who now lives with Harry and family
Pharamond Haristeen (Fair), veterinarian, formerly married to Harry
Mrs. George Hogendobber (Miranda), a widow who works with Harry in the post office
Market Shiflett, owner of Shiflett’s Market, next to the post office
Susan Tucker, Harry’s best friend
Big Marilyn Sanburne (Mim), the undisputed queen of Crozet society
Tally Urquhart, older than dirt, she says what she thinks when she thinks it, even to her niece, Mim the Magnificent
Rick Shaw, sheriff
Cynthia Cooper, police officer
Herbert C. Jones, pastor of Crozet Lutheran Church
Blair Bainbridge, a handsome model who lives on the farm next to Harry’s
Sir H. Vane-Tempest, a modern Midas who proves there is nothing like the greed of the rich
Sarah Vane-Tempest, the much younger, fabulously beautiful wife of the imperious H. Vane
Archie Ingram, as a county commissioner he has been a strong advocate of controlling development and preserving the environment. Too bad he couldn’t preserve his marriage
Tommy Van Allen, tall, dark, and handsome, he’s been wild as a rat ever since childhood
Ridley Kent, an easygoing man who has inherited enough money to sap all initiative. He means well
* * *
1
The intoxicating fragrance of lilacs floated across the meadow grass. Mrs. Murphy was night hunting in and around the abandoned dependencies on old Tally Urquhart’s farm, Rose Hill. Once a great estate, the farm’s main part continued to be kept in pristine condition. A combination of old age plus spiraling taxes, and wages forced Thalia “Tally” Urquhart, as well as others like her, to let outlying buildings go.
A huge stone hay barn with a center aisle big enough to house four hay wagons side by side sat in the middle of small one-and-a-half-story stone houses with slate roofs. The buildings, although pockmarked by broken windows, were so well constructed they would endure despite the birds nesting in their chimneys.
The hay barn, whose supporting beams were constructed from entire tree trunks, would outlast this century and the next one as well.
The paint peeled off the stone buildings, exposing the soft gray underneath with an occasional flash of rose-gray.
The tiger cat sniffed the air; low clouds and fog were moving in fast from the west, sliding down the Blue Ridge Mountains like fudge on a sundae.
Normally Mrs. Murphy would hunt close to her own farm. Often she was accompanied by Pewter, who despite her bulk was a ferocious mouser. This evening she wanted to hunt alone. It cleared her mind. She liked to wait motionless for mice to scurry in the rotting burlap feed bags, for their tiny claws to tap against the beams in the hayloft.
Since no one paid attention to the Urquhart barns, the mousing was superb. Kernels of grain and dried corn drew the little marauders in, as did the barn itself, a splendid place in which to raise young mice.
A moldy horse collar, left over from the late 1930s, its brass knobs green, hung on the tack-room wall, forgotten by all, the mules who wore it long gone to the Great Mule Sky.
Mrs. Murphy left off her mousing to explore the barn, constructed in the early nineteenth century. How lovely the farm must have once been. Mrs. Murphy prided herself on her knowledge of human history, something the two-legged species often overlooked in its rush to be current. Of course, she reflected, whatever is current today is out of fashion tomorrow.
The tiger cat, like most felines, took the long view.
Her particular human, Mary Minor Haristeen, or Harry, the young, pretty postmistress of Crozet, Virginia, evinced interest in history as well as in animal behavior. She read voraciously and expanded her understanding of animals by visiting Virginia Tech in Blacksburg and the Marion DuPont Scott Equine Research Center in Leesburg, Virginia. Harry even studied the labels on crunchy-food bags to make certain kitty nutrition was adequate. She cared for her two cats, one dog, and three horses with love and knowledge.
The flowers continued to push up around the buildings. The lilac bushes, enormous, burst forth each spring. The sadness of the decaying old place was modified by the health of the plant life.
The cat emerged from the barn and glanced at the deepening night clouds, deciding to hurry back home before the fog got thicker. Two creeks and a medium-sized ridge were the biggest obstacles. She could traverse the four miles in an hour at a trot, faster if she ran. Mrs. Murphy could run four miles with ease. A sound foxhound could run forty miles in a day. Much as she liked running, she was glad she wasn’t a foxhound, or any hound, for that matter. Mrs. Murphy liked dogs but considered them a lower species, for the most part, except for the corgi she lived with, Tucker, who was nearly the equal of a cat. Not that she’d tell Tucker that. . . . Never.
She trotted away from the magical spot and loped over the long, flat pasture, once an airstrip for Tally Urquhart in her heyday, when she had shocked the residents of central Virginia by flying airplanes. Her disregard for the formalities of marriage did the rest.
Tally Urquhart was Mim Sanburne’s aunt. Mim had ascended to the rank of undisputed social leader of Crozet once her aunt had relinquished the position twenty years ago. Mrs. Murphy would giggle and say to Mim’s face, “Ah, welcome to the Queen of Quite a Lot.” Since Mim didn’t understand cat, the grande dame wasn’t insulted.
On the other side of the airfield a rolling expanse of oats just breaking through the earth’s surface undulated down to the first creek.
At the creek the cat stopped. The clouds lowered; the moisture was palpable. She thought she heard a rumble. Senses razor sharp, she looked in each direction, including overhead. Owls were deadly in conditions like this.
The rumble grew closer. She climbed a tree—just in case. Out of the clouds overhead two wheels appeared. Mrs. Murphy watched as a single-engine plane touched down, bumped, then rolled toward the barn. It stopped right in front of the massive doors, a quarter of a mile away from Mrs. Murphy.
A lean figure hopped out of the plane to open the barn doors. The pilot stayed at the controls, and as the doors opened, the plane puttered into the barn. The motor was cut off. Mrs. Murphy saw two figures now, one much taller than the other. She couldn’t make out their features; the collars of their trench coats were turned up and they were half turned away, dueling gusts of wind. As each human braced behind a door and rolled it shut, the heavens opened in a deluge.
A great fat splat of rain plopped right on Mrs. Murphy’s head. She hated getting wet, but she waited long enough to see the two humans run down the road past the stone houses. In the far distance she thought she heard a motor turn over.
Irritated that she hadn’t gone down the farm road and therefore might have missed something, she climbed down and ran flat out the entire way home. She could have stayed overnight in the Urquhart barn, but Harry would panic if she woke up and realized Mrs. Murphy wasn’t asleep on the bed.
By the time she reached her own back porch forty-five minutes later, she was soaked. She pushed through the animal door and shook herself twice in the kitchen, spattering the cabinets, before walking into the bedroom.
Tucker snored on the floor at the foot of the bed. Pewter snuggled next to Harry. The portly gray cat opened one brilliant green eye as M
rs. Murphy leapt onto the bed.
“Don’t sleep next to me. You’re all wet.”
“It was worth it.”
Both eyes opened. “What’d you get?”
“Two field mice and one shrew.”
“Liar.”
“Why would I make it up?”
Pewter closed both eyes and flicked her tail over her nose. “Because you have to be the best at everything.”
The tiger ignored her, crept to the head of the bed, lifted the comforter, and slid under while staying on top of the blanket. If she’d picked up all the covers and gotten on the sheets, Harry might have rolled over and felt the wet sheets and the wet cat. Mrs. Murphy was better off in the middle; and she would dry faster that way, too.
Pewter said nothing but she heard a muffled “Hee-hee,” before falling asleep again.
* * *
2
The slanting rays of the afternoon sun spilled across the meadows of Harry’s farm. The hayloft door, wide open, framed a sleeping Mrs. Murphy, flopped on her back, her creamy beige stomach soaking up the sun’s warmth. The cat’s tail gently rocked from side to side as though floating in a pool of sunlight.
Simon the possum, curled in a gray ball, slept at the mouth of his nest made from old hay bales. A worn curb chain glittered from the recess of his den. Simon liked to carry off shiny objects, ribbons, gloves, even old pieces of newspaper.
Below, in the barn’s center aisle, Tucker snoozed. Each time she exhaled, a tiny knot of no-see-ums swirled up, then settled down again on her shoulders.
May, usually the best month in central Virginia, along with colorful Octobers, remained unusually cool this year, the temperature staying in the fifties and low sixties. One week earlier, the last of April, a snowstorm had roared down the Blue Ridge Mountains, covering the swelling buds and freezing the daffodils and tulips. All that was forgotten as redbuds bloomed and dogwoods began to open, lush white or pink. The grass turned green.
This afternoon the animals couldn’t keep their eyes open. Sometimes an abrupt change of season could do that, wreaking havoc with everyone’s rhythm. Even Harry, that engine of productivity, dozed in the tack room. She had every intention of stripping and dipping her tack, a monotonous task reserved for the change of seasons. Harry had gotten up that morning in an organizing mood but she had fallen asleep before she had even broken down the bridle.
Alone—if one counts being divorced but having your ex much in evidence as “alone”—Harry ran the small farm bequeathed to her by her deceased parents. Farming, difficult these days because of government regulation, made enough money to cover the taxes on the place. She relied on her job at the Crozet Post Office to feed and clothe herself.
In her thirties, Harry was oblivious to her charms. Her one concession to the rigors of feminine display was a good haircut. She lived in jeans, T-shirts, and cowboy boots. She even wore her cowboy boots to work. Since the Crozet Post Office was such a small, out-of-the-way place, she need not dress for success.
In fact, Harry measured success by laughter, not by money. She was extremely successful. If she wasn’t laughing with other humans she was laughing with Mrs. Murphy, wit personified, Tucker, or Pewter, the cat who came to dinner.
Pewter, curled in Harry’s lap, dreamed of crème brûlée. Other cats dreamed of mice, moles, birds, the occasional spider. Pewter conjured up images of beef Wellington, mashed potatoes, fresh buttered bread, and her favorite food on earth, crème brûlée. She liked the crust thin and crunchy.
In the distance a low purr caused Mrs. Murphy to flick her ear in that direction. The marvelous sound came nearer. She opened one eye, casting her gaze down the long dirt road dotted with puddles of water from last night’s rain. She stretched but didn’t rise.
The throaty roar sounded like a big cat staking out territory. She heard the distinctive crushing sound of tires on Number 5 gravel. Curious, she half raised her head, then pushed herself up, stretching fore and aft, blinking in the sunlight.
Pewter lifted her head as well.
Tucker remained dead to the world.
Mrs. Murphy squinted to catch sight of a gleaming black car rounding the far turn.
“Company’s coming.”
No one below paid attention. She leaned forward, sticking her head out the second-story space as Harry’s nearest neighbor, Blair Bainbridge, cruised into the driveway behind the wheel of a black wide-body Porsche 911 Turbo.
Tucker barked. Mrs. Murphy laughed to herself—“Dogs!”—as she sauntered over to the ladder. She excelled at climbing ladders and at descending them. The latter took longer to learn. The trick was not to look down.
She scampered across the dusty center aisle and out to Blair. Harry woke up with Pewter licking her face. Tucker, sniffling about interrupted sleep, emerged into the sunlight.
“Hello, Mrs. Murphy.” Blair grinned.
“Hello.” She rubbed against his leg.
“Anybody home?” Blair called out.
“Be there in a minute,” a foggy Harry replied.
The tiger cat walked around the low-bodied, sleek machine. “A cat designed this.”
“Why?” Tucker viewed the car without much enthusiasm, but Tucker never had much enthusiasm when awakened.
“Because it’s beautiful and powerful.”
“You don’t like yourself much, do you?”
Harry walked out, then stopped abruptly. “Beautiful!”
“Just delivered.” Blair leaned against the sloping front fender. “Makes all the crap I do worthwhile.”
“Modeling can’t be that bad.”
“Can’t be that good. It’s not . . .”—he paused—“connected. It’s superficial.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And sooner or later I’ll be considered over-the-hill. It’s ruthless that way.”
“I don’t know. You’re too hard on yourself. Anyway, it got you this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful. Not even the Aston Martin Volante.”
“You like Aston Martins?” His dark eyebrows rose.
“Love ’em. Not as much as horses, but I love them. The Volante is a sleek car, but you need the mechanic to go with it. This is more reliable.”
“German.”
“There is that.” She smiled.
“Would you like a ride?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” She spoke to the two cats and dog. “Hold down the fort.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mrs. Murphy grumbled. “I think we should all go for a ride.”
“No room,” Tucker sensibly noted.
“I don’t take up much room—unlike you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” Mrs. Murphy raised her tail straight up, sashaying toward the house as Blair backed out. Mrs. Murphy thought the baritone perfect, not too deep, yet velvety.
“Only one hundred Turbos made for the U.S. market each year,” Blair said as he straightened out the wheel.
Pewter waddled toward the house. She gave the $110,000 internal-combustion machine barely a look. “Don’t go so fast,” she chided her cohort.
To torment her, the tiger cat bounded gracefully onto the screened-in porch, pawing open the unlatched screen door.
“I hate her,” Pewter muttered.
“Me, too.” Tucker walked alongside the gray cat. “The biggest show-off since P.T. Barnum.”
“I heard that.”
“We don’t care,” Tucker replied.
“You’re bored.” Mrs. Murphy ducked through the doggie door in the kitchen.
“Did she say I was boring?”
“No, Pewter, she said we were bored.”
“Nothing ever happens in May.”
Mrs. Murphy stuck her head out the magnetic-flap door. “Blair Bainbridge bought a Porsche Turbo. I count that as an important event.”
Pewter and Tucker, walking more briskly, reached the screen door. The corgi sat while the cat opened it.
“That doesn’t count.” Pewter flung open
the door.
Mrs. Murphy ducked back into the kitchen. Pewter dashed through the animal door first.
“What would you like to happen?” Mrs. Murphy inquired.
“A meat truck turns over in front of the post office.” Tucker wagged her nonexistent tail.
“Remember the Halloween when the human head turned up in a pumpkin?” Pewter’s pupils widened.
“Yech!” Mrs. Murphy recalled the grisly event that happened a few years back.
“Yech? I found it. You didn’t.”
“I don’t like to think about it.” Mrs. Murphy fastidiously licked the sides of her front paws, then swept them over her face.
She noticed the side of the barn facing north, the broad, flat side where the paint was peeling. A painted ad for Coca-Cola, black background underneath, peeled out in parts.
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