by L. B. Dunbar
I’m not certain what Cora’s comment means, but I’m going with the assumption it has to do with the body shape I once had.
“I’m not certain we collectively are what you mean.” If Cora’s fishing for a compliment—a reminder of her beauty both then and now—she can forget it. I’m not about to boost the ego of a former bully.
“Oh, I just meant boys like him wouldn’t have been interested in girls like us.”
Maybe it’s the memories in the music or the strength of the beer empowering me to turn on her. “What exactly does ‘girls like us’ mean, Cora, because there’s no way you and I are in the same category, not even the same stratosphere.”
Cora stares back at me wide-eyed with shock.
“Why, I didn’t mean—” she squeaks, laying on her thickest Southern accent, despite the volume of the tune, but I interrupt her.
“Yes, you did, because you’re always mean,” I mock in my best Southern retort. “Cora, we aren’t in high school, and I’m not that fat, quiet girl you loved to pick on, so whatever you’re trying to imply, I’m over it. I don’t need to worry about not getting the man of my dreams at thirteen or forty-one. I’m happy with me.” I stand taller, and out of the corner of my eye, I feel someone watching us. I turn to find Billy with his hands on his hips, and Clyde standing slightly behind him.
“Cat fight,” someone hisses near us, and Billy snaps out of his reverie.
“Ladies,” Billy sweet-talks, “what’s going on here?” Cora simpers by pouting her lips and batting her eyes as if she couldn’t possibly be doing anything wrong. The flirt with Billy Harrington is so thick I could drink it like the beer in my cup, but that flavor would only be bitter. This reminds me of the flavor in my hand, and I guzzle a few gulps to calm my racing heart. I can’t believe I stood up to Corabelle Conrad.
“I meant no offense, Roxanne,” she states lacking apology and then turns to Billy. “Roxanne and I were just reliving our glory days, reminiscing about boy band crushes.”
I’m about to tell Billy Cora is reminding me I was a heavy-set teen, but it’s all so childish, I just don’t mention it. Instead, I consider the woman his brother introduced to him and how Billy held her, like he was feeling her against him. Sleek. Pretty. Worldly looking. I can’t compete with the women Billy hits on. I don’t want to compete. There’s no competition here.
It’s all a reminder I’m never going to be what Billy wants in a woman, and I’m fine with that, just fine.
I turn away from him, ignoring Cora, and watch as Tommy introduces Gage Everly of Collision. Oh. My. Cougar heart. Speaking of thirteen, he’s probably that many years younger than I am, but he’s extremely good looking with chin-length chocolate hair and eyes as deep as candy. He opens his mouth to sing, and my panties melt almost as much as they did for Lawson.
“Hey,” Billy shouts from my side, tugging at my arm to turn me to him. “I wanted to—”
“Let’s dance,” Clyde bellows over Billy, slipping an arm around my waist and reaching for Grace’s hand. He tugs us both before the stage and breaks into the most awkward dance I’ve ever seen. I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it when Clyde wiggles his brows and exaggerates his hips. He’s got the white man’s overbite going along with motorcycle handlebar motions. His large body is clearing space, and Grace and I laugh good naturedly at his display. He doesn’t care that he’s making a fool of himself in front of the stage and before the crowd, and it’s a good reminder not to worry what others think, especially the likes of Corabelle Conrad…or Billy Harrington.
14
Fired up
[Billy]
Damn that Clyde, he’s fired, I think as I stalk back to the bar. We’re too busy for me not to tend tonight although I’m also trying to mingle and gauge what customers think of our newest blends. Giant has just as much riding on tonight as I do because word of mouth is still everything in business. Five-star reviews on food and drink apps could bring in new visitors, not to mention have people asking for the beer in liquor stores close to their homes.
I hate how Roxanne dismissed me.
I hate more so how I treated her.
Old habits die hard especially when it comes to that woman, and her comment about reading stung.
I’ve been keeping my eye on her all night, noticing she sticks to the periphery of the party. Her self-consciousness shows in the way she keeps brushing her hair behind her ear and looking down when people speak to her, but she doesn’t see what I see. She’s freaking gorgeous among this crowd. Those exotic gray eyes shift darker in the dim light and her hair glows with the mixture of varying whites. She’s different from other women I’ve been attracted to in the past, and it’s making her stand out even more in my eyes.
She’d been hanging by the bar, and I liked having her near even though I hadn’t had a chance to really speak to her. I find silent comfort in her, like when she’s hanging around when I’m with Sadie. She’s pulling herself back, giving Sadie and me more space when I come over. I can’t really help Sadie with her homework, but she tells me what she’s learning, what she likes, and how she’s a little more advanced than what they’re teaching her in school. I bought her a new laptop and upgraded their internet, so Sadie has better access to research. Of course, Roxie admonished me for the gift.
“Don’t be trying to buy her love.”
“I’m not buying her love. I’m encouraging her to discover things on a deeper level.”
That woman, I groan as I return behind the bar, looking up immediately to find her in the crowd. Why am I always searching her out?
Once the band began, and Denton Chance had his moment with my sister, Mati, I stalked after Roxanne, ready to apologize for how I behaved earlier. I’m snapping at her under the stress of the evening, and she doesn’t deserve it, even if what she said about reading was a little mean. My eyes find Roxanne near Grace as Clyde dances like a fool in front of the stage. She’s laughing at him—or rather with him—as he grabs her hand and twirls her under his arm. She looks like she’s having a good time, and the jealousy strikes hard.
I pass out more beers and collect more tickets and return to the high of accomplishing my own thing for a few minutes until Clyde makes his way behind the bar, sweaty and chuckling.
“What are you playing at, man?” I snap, which instantly sobers Clyde’s mood.
“What do you mean?”
“Dancing with Roxie when I was trying to talk to her.” I hand two more cups to a waiting customer, nodding my thank you when they hand me a tip.
“Oh, was talking what you planned to do? I figured you were ready to tell her more about your wood and how she wasn’t worthy.” This snaps my attention to Clyde, and I overfill the cup I’m pouring.
“Dammit,” I mutter, shaking beer from my fist and passing the fill to another customer. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re blind,” Clyde states, stepping away to chug a cupful before he takes orders from customers a few paces down from me.
I have no idea what Clyde means, but my eyes scan the crowd, searching for Roxanne who’s been approached by a member of Rebel’s Edge, the local biker club where my older brother James is now second in command. It was difficult to watch him pull back from the family and lose himself in the club, although we know all the reasons. I’m ready to lose my shit, setting down a full cup without collecting drink tickets. I stalk to the end of the bar before Clyde catches my arm.
“He’s got it,” Clyde mutters, and I glance up to see my brother James intervening. At first, I think he’s cutting the other guy off, until I see my brother cutting in and taking Roxanne in his arms.
Mothertrucker.
Of all my brothers, James and I get along the least. I’m actually closest to Mati in the family, and the thought makes me wonder for a brief second how Sadie feels about being an only child. As the third son, and middle child of five, I’ve definitely had my fantasies of being a single Harrington, but then again, I love my siblings,
even if I want to pummel James at the moment, biker leader or not.
Clyde tugs at my arm, and I flick him off me, preparing to break through the crowd when Roxanne’s eyes lift and meet mine. She looks uncertain, and I wonder if she’s frightened of my brother. He turns at the same time and gives me a chin tip. Roxanne gazes back at my older brother and grins up at him. Fuck, I don’t like that look. I’m not blind to the appearances of my siblings. James is the edgiest of us with his short, cropped silver hair and scraggly scruff. Some girls like that bad boy—or menacing man—look, and the thought of Roxie being attracted to that doesn’t settle well with me.
“You’ve got customers,” Clyde reminds me, which also reminds me I’ve lost my sister after she ran off during Denton’s song.
Fuck, I’m too busy for all this drama tonight.
As the party winds on, the band closes out their set and the favor they did me by performing, although it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Denton making a statement to my sister. Twenty-seven years. What a fucking long time to hold a woman in your heart. My eyes find Roxanne still hanging in the crowd, which surprises me. Grace remains, as well, and Alyce Wright, who my mother keeps trying to set Giant up with, is near them. Guess Mama got the message as Giant introduced Letty to the family tonight.
“Whatcha drinking?” I absentmindedly ask a customer until I glance up and find my brother James on the other side of the bar.
“House special.” He snorts, knowing damn well the specialty is our family brew, the family he chose to walk away from. I pour him a cup, shaking my head to decline the drink ticket he offers me. “Got a second?”
“I’m busy as fuck,” I snap, and his brows rise. I twist my neck, and mumble, “Hang on.” I told myself a long time ago if James ever came back to the family I wouldn’t judge, and I wouldn’t turn him away if he asked anything of me. It’s late, and the mania at the bar is settling. I serve another customer and come back to James.
He leans casually against the bar with his hip, his eyes scanning the room. “Saw the death glare you gave me over that woman.” My eyes leap to the table where Roxie sits with Alyce and Grace. “Care to explain?”
“There’s nothing to be said.” I hate the denial in my voice, but I’m not ready to share who Roxie is to me. Hell, I don’t even know who she is to me, and I definitely don’t feel comfortable telling James about Sadie.
James turns to eye me, scanning my face like he’s looking for something. He nods once.
“You know, if I had one second with Evie again…I wouldn’t pass it up. Not for nothing. That’s the look you were giving me.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whine although I can’t dismiss the first part. I know how James felt about Evie, and I understand what he’s not saying. On the other hand, he knows nothing about Roxanne.
“I know more than you might think, little brother. Remember that.”
“Is that a threat?”
James’s brows pinch. “It’s me telling you I still look out for everyone. I make it my business to know what’s going on.” His voice deepens, roughening to the point of caution. He takes a sip of his beer, resting an elbow on the bar as he looks out at the dwindling gathering. It’s almost as if he isn’t speaking to me with his back to me, but the words are registering. He knows…about Sadie.
“Want my advice?”
“Not really,” I mutter, but knowing my brother, he’ll offer it anyway. “Snap up that woman and don’t let that kid out of your sight.”
“I’m not interested,” I defend. James shifts his body, anger brewing on his face.
“In the woman or the child?”
I swallow. I’m lying if I say neither. Sadie is really growing on me even though she’s snarky and dark sometimes, and Roxanne, well, my eyes search for her in the corner again.
“That’s what I thought.” James chuckles, presses off the bar and walks to the corner where his brothers-in-arms remain. He has no right offering me brotherly advice when he chooses them over Giant, Charlie, and me, but then again, I heard what he said. He’s still looking after us even if he isn’t interacting with us. Damn him.
For the past hour, the music has been a mix of country songs, which means closing time is coming soon. We only have an extension on the city ordinance for noise until midnight. We’ve encouraged people to head inside to the bar, but surmising the amount of alcohol we’ve served, I know many people will be heading home to sleep off the start of a hangover or sleep with someone special tonight.
The next song begins, and I instantly recognize it.
“Hey, Clyde, be back in five,” I state, walking around the bar as I speak and heading for Roxie. I’ve watched her dance with numerous men tonight, and now it’s my turn. I approach the table, but her head lifts long before I get to her seat. She’s watching me as my eyes lock on her. Damn, I love those eyes. The silver flints like the first spark of steel crashing together and making a flame.
“Miss Alyce.” I dip my head as if I’m wearing a cowboy hat. “Miss Roxanne,” I drag out her name.
“Billy.” Alyce blushes, but her head turns to look at Roxie.
“May I have this dance?” I hold out my hand for Roxie who looks down at my open palm for a second. Her lips twist like she’s fighting a smile, and I’m waiting for a snappy rejection from her until the tips of her fingers press into my warm hand. My fingers snap shut—snap up that woman—and I lead her to the dance floor. Only a few people linger as I spin Roxie and then draw her to my chest. I pull her close, closer than necessary for a dance, and slip an arm around her lower back. My other hand clutches hers and drags them between us, holding her hand near my racing heart.
The Lee Brice song “Rumors” drones on about a couple and the town wondering what’s going on with them. My cheek lowers to rest near Roxie’s, leaving my lips only a breath away from her ear. I sing the words, messing them up a bit.
“I can do what you want, baby, or you could kiss me here, and make it true…”
Roxanne pulls back, and those eyes light me up.
“Why would I kiss you, Billy Harrington?”
“Because you want to.” I’m teasing her, but there’s an unasked question in the words. Does she want to kiss me? She rejected me before, swiping at her tongue as if I’d given her a disease. Has she changed her mind, though? Her eyes draw down to my lips, telling me she might have second thoughts about that first kiss.
“You’re so full of yourself,” she admonishes, a chuckle in her tone. She’s teasing me, and that’s what I’ve discovered I like best about Roxie. She gives as good as she gets.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I admit. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Roxie’s eyes drop, and she glances over at the table where Alyce and Grace sat but are no longer present.
“It was a little unexpected,” she says, her voice low.
“Nah, that’s what we do, Roxie. We bicker.” Her eyes come back to mine, softened and searching.
“Do we always have to fight in public?” Her question asks something deeper, and I have to admit things have been different in private when it’s just the three of us. Roxanne and I still snip and scratch, but it’s more in fun than a fight. Is she my little secret along with Sadie? Thanksgiving. That’s the date I’ve set for when I’ll tell my family. One more month and I’ll be ready. “I guess, for a little bit longer.”
Roxanne doesn’t like that answer, and I feel her slump in my grasp. The song plays on, but Roxie no longer speaks to me. My cheek lowers back to her ear, and I close my eyes, letting the words in my head drift unspoken to her, adding my own version as a refrain.
Let’s make the rumor true.
15
Near miss
[Roxanne]
He smells so good. I inhale at his neck and then catch myself, hoping he doesn’t notice me sniffing him. He’s a mix of man and the spicy clove scent in the beers I drank tonight. Too many beers. I’m woozy on my fe
et, but it might just be the way Billy is holding me. I’m pressed up close to him, melting into him. Hard chest. Firm abs. Large palms. His hand covers my lower back while the other presses mine against his heart, which is racing through his BRMP dress shirt. He’s wearing an Oxford, rolled at the sleeves, displaying some serious arm porn. I lick my lips, my mouth watering to run my tongue up the vein exposed on his lower arm.
I hate that I’m having this reaction, especially to him, of all men, but he seemed so sincere in his apology. Then I think of his other words. This is what we do. We claw and scratch, only I’d like to do it in a manner where I’m drawing him closer and not pushing him away.
I’ve definitely had too much to drink tonight if these are my thoughts.
As the song ends, Billy still holds me, swaying in the silence before another song flips on. It’s too fast for the slow pace he’s set, and I chuckle when I say to him, “The song’s over.”
He purrs at my ear, and the shiver that runs down my spine is like the kiss of a summer rain. Refreshing. Sweet. Romantic. I pull back from where my head rests near his. I’m overthinking things. Billy Harrington is anything but romantic. He’s rash and raw and flirtatious, and I’d be smart to remember these things. Only my head is fuzzy, and he smells so good, and he’s holding me so close.
It’s been too long since I’ve been with someone.
Billy doesn’t fight me as I lean away from him, but as he releases me, I stumble.
“Whoa, darlin’.” He’s quick to reach out for my upper arms and right me. “I’m known to have that effect on women.” He winks.
“I had too much to drink, I think.” I’m not slurring my words, not that I notice, but things are catching up to me. “I think it’s time I head home.”
Billy’s brows pinch, and he wears an expression of concern in his eyes. He isn’t concerned about you, Roxie. He’s nice to you because of Sadie.
“I’ll walk you home.”
I snort, unattractively. “There’s no need. I live only a few feet from here.” No joke. My apartment windows look down on this tent, which would be annoying except I’m certain I’ll sleep like the dead once I hit my bed.
