by Finas, A. G.
REMEMBER TO BREATHE
book one of
TRUE DESIRES
a series
by
a.g. finas
also by a.g. finas: entangled -excerpts from books one and two of the TRUE DESIRES series-
twitter: @agfinas blog: agfinas.blogspot.com
Copyright 2013 by Grape Press Press - All rights reserved.
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For John, Joey and Chu
The Tenth Floor
Allie bends down to set the pot of water on the portable electric burner. She's been in the dorm for at least ten minutes but her cheeks are still flush winter's early bite. She strips to her bra and panties, wraps a blanket around herself and scuttles to the warmth of the old radiator under the window. A train whistle howls somewhere across town while a white grocery bag loops around the empty courtyard below like a plastic ghost before getting snagged in the bare branches of the courtyard's only tree. It's just you and me this weekend, she thinks. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Unlike Gina and most of the other girls on the tenth floor, Allie isn't going home.
Gina.
They had planned to meet at a coffee shop earlier in the day. Gina didn't show up though and didn't answer when Allie called. Allie's disappointment soon gave way to an unexpected sense of relief.
But why?
She pondered the source of this relief only for as long as it took to put on her coat and bus her coffee mug and saucer. When she stepped from the coffee shop, an epiphany hit her as though delivered directly into her brain by the bone-rattling wind. We are drifting apart and I don't think I care.
Allie and Gina had been inseparable since the sixth grade but now they are roommates (at least officially) and whole weeks go by when they don't see one another. Gina has been gradually moving in with Drew, a man Gina had sat next to on the plane from Sacramento before the semester began. Allie misses her but has gotten used to living alone.
Gina came by to pick up some warmer clothes when the weather had started to turn. Allie, realizing that her art supplies were overrunning Gina's bed and desk, apologized and started to tidy up but Gina waved her off.
“No big deal,” Gina said. It wasn't like she was using them anyway. Life was good at her boyfriend's house- plenty of great sex and lots of space. He had a king-sized bed with huge pillows and silky multimillion thread-count sheets.
Allie began lounging around in the nude on occasion. Last week, she ate all of Gina's breakfast bars, replacing each one with an IOU. And now, Allie is using Gina's electric burner to boil the business end of Gina's vibrator. All Gina had done was take it out of its packaging and turn it on but still; Allie feels a sterilization is in order. What if someone had 'quality tested' it before it left the factory?
Once it cools, she puts in the new batteries that she had quested after as soon as she had left the coffee shop. The campus bookstore was out of double A batteries, so she ventured the extra mile to a convenience store. She had decided that the few other lonely girls with no place to go for the weekend must have cleaned out the bookstore's supply.
New batteries were a must. The ones in it worked fine but in her view, batteries are the closest thing a vibrator has to a heart and soul. Using Gina's would make her feel even more of what she already felt- like she was borrowing Gina's boyfriend without asking.
Allie turns on the radio in case someone happens to be walking by the room. She isn't the loudest-or doesn't think she is- but then she has no idea what this purple thing with its little rabbit ears on the side is going to do to her.
Allie laughs as she holds it to herself and toggles through the different settings, then finally settles into one that she feels comfortable with. She eases it further in and closes her eyes, focusing on the slow churning inside her and the electric tingles that play over her body. It hits everything- her walls, g-spot, clit- and soon pulses of pure electric joy shoot through her nerves, curling her toes and rolling back her eyes. Whatever the mechanism is that has kept her from crying out is now broken. How loud she is, she doesn't know, but she hopes the radio's volume is sufficient to mask whatever she lets out.
Good thing Gina hadn't tried this out. There's no way Drew could compete, she thinks. And then she starts thinking about him. She had met him only once, just hours after Gina had- in the airport's baggage claim area. His taut body under his tight undershirt and the way his jeans were ripped in all the right places and the way he winked at Allie made her melt. She had wanted to straddle him right there on the carousel on a makeshift bed of luggage . Allie wasn't sure if Gina had been purposely keeping Drew away from her or not but she figured the lack of contact was probably for the best.
As the vibrator and her memory of Drew bring her to another orgasm, her eyes flutter. The door is opening. A jolt of panic surges through her as she throws the covers over herself and pretends to be asleep, trying to stifle the explosions going off all through her body. Shit! The lights are on and the door. What? Oh god!
The radio is turned down.
“Hello? Allie? Wake Up!” It's him. Drew. She swears she locked the door- he shouldn't have been able to get in- unless he had Gina's key. She hears his fingers snap. Her face reddens. She knows he can tell she is awake and has been pleasuring herself. Probably can tell that she was thinking of him while she was doing it.
“Better check your pulse. Make sure you haven't overdosed on something,” he says.
Too embarrassed. Must continue pretending to sleep until he goes away.
And then she feels the tips of his cold fingers on her neck. Her heart is practically jumping out of her skin. “Hm. No pulse. Maybe you're one of those Sleeping Beauty cases hm? Let's see.”
She feels his hot and sweet breath on her cheek, and then his lips on hers.
What are you doing?
She can't kiss him- he belongs to Gina after all, and yet she can't bring herself to roll away. His lips
linger on hers for what seems like an eternity. She wants him badly.
“It's okay,” he whispers. “I won't tell if you don't.” His voice vibrates through her. And then as if those were the magic words, their lips open to kiss.
Just a kiss. Nothing more. And then he'll leave.
But then he moves to her neck. She puts her arm around his head, trying to push him away but not hard enough. “No. We can't. You're...you're the boyfriend of... And I'm...oh-” Her words are short circuited by a dash of pleasure and pain as he bites her earlobe.
She strokes his hair and exhales. Allie grabs his shirt and pulls it over his face. He helps and then is in bed with her, skin to skin, hard body to hard body, the old electricity of her self pleasuring giving way to something new and volatile and dangerous. He rubs little circles on the skin just under her nipples and looks into her eyes.
“How?” She asks, slightly annoyed with the teasing.
“Gina left her key.”
“That's the G word. We don't say that. Not tonight.”
“Okay then. Someone who shall remain nameless asked me to check on you because she was getting calls about the noise coming from your room. This person said that someone knocked but no one answered.”
“Right. I was just.. you know...busy not masturbating.”
“Kind of like how when I was on my way over here I was busy not thinking about fucking you from behind.”
“Mmm.”
Drew kisses her again and wipes his hand over her breasts, down her side and over her slit, then down her leg and back up her pussy to rest his palm on her mound, leaving a trail of tingles.
“Wow...you are...wet.”
Allie smiles. “Hope you brought your snorkel.”
His breath is warm and steady on her neck which he dots with little kisses. He tickles and teases her pussy as her hips rise and twist. Just when she is about to demand more, he puts two fingers inside her. She can hear the sound of her juices as he curls his fingers back up toward him, pressing hard on her ridge, coaxing out a loud moan. He keeps at this as his mouth trails down from her neck, making a stop at her pink nipple. Allie gasps as he nips it with his teeth. He continues down to the bud of her clit, which he barely touches with his tongue at first, all the while continuing to work his fingers inside her.
The intimacy of this moment with her best friend's boyfriend has just pushed past her comfort level.
“Stop. Lets just get on with it,” Allie says.
“Ah, my kind of girl,” he says.
In a flash, he unzips and flings off his pants. A condom wrapper flutters to the floor and then he enters her with his full length. After a few thrusts, he moves her to her side, props up her leg with his arm and slowly works her while cupping her throat as if threatening to choke her should she make one unwise move.
“You're a bad girl, you know that?”
“Sure.”
“You know what bad girls get?”
“Yesss.”
“What do they get?”
“They get..uhhh...what they want. Ohhh.”
“ Try again.” His hand tightens on her throat.
“They get spanked.”
“Yes they do.”
“And ....
Allie secretly bristles with excitement. She had only been with one other- a high school boyfriend. He had never talked dirty or took control or spanked her.
With that, he rolls her over. “On your hands and knees.” She feels him massage her tight posterior before smacking it. Allie squeals with delight.
“You like that?”
Allie nods. “mmhm”
“I can't hear you!”
“Yes! Harder! Sir! Dad! Whatever!”
He enters her again and pulls her head back by her hair, occasionally smacking her ass as he slams his cock into her. She's aware of how loud she's screaming but doesn't care now. She finally has what she didn't know she wanted.
He works her juices into a lather and sets a pillow to protect her face from the wall. They are slick with sweat, and the covers and sheets are hanging off of her little mattress. Without warning, he pulls out and rips off his condom and moans. Allie feels his hot load on her back.
“And that's what you get for making me cheat on Gina,” he says.
Allie is dizzy. And angry.
“Okay you need to get out!”
“What?”
“Right now, fuck face!”
“I was just kidding but whatever.”
“OUT! NOW!”
“I need to buy some cranberries anyway. Have fun cleaning up your back,” he says jumping out of bed.
Allie takes a long, hot shower and cries. She wants to call Gina. Kind of. She wants to either call her and confess everything or flee the country and never see her again. Spending the weekend mostly alone in the little room waiting and wondering if or when Gina might find out would be the worst thing ever. But this is exactly what she does.
Allie goes to the campus rec center on Saturday afternoon, hoping to swim off her anxiety. When she returns to the dorm, she finds Gina there, poking through one of about a dozen clear plastic tubs scattered about the room. Oh shit. This is it. Allie hadn't expected her to be back until tomorrow at the earliest and she sure as hell didn't expect her to move back in.
“Oh hi!” Gina says. Her face is hidden behind a stack of tubs atop a walnut nightstand that Allie has never seen.
“You're back early,” Allie says, barely able to push the words past the lump in her throat.
“I guess I missed you too much,” Gina says. As they hug, Gina explains that she will be spending more time in the dorm. She and Drew have broken up.
“I'm so sorry, ” Allie says. Her tone straddles the line between self-indictment and standard best-friend concern. What does she know?
“It's okay. It just wasn't working out. He turned out to be a loser anyway, so I'm not too upset, ” Gina says. She hefts her suitcase onto her bed and unzips it. “Here, I bought you this when I was home. Happy early birthday and Christmas,” she says handing her a plastic box. Blood drains from Allie's face. It's a vibrator just like Gina's.
“Wow. Thank you?”
“Yeah, no problem.” Gina grins sheepishly. “Full disclosure? It's also a present for me, even though I've got one just like it. Have you seen it? Wait, yeah I showed you. Anyway, I figured with as much of a workout as I'll be giving mine, it will be nice to have a another around in case the old vaGina is too much for just one. ” Allie laughs. It's good to have her back. And better that she is clueless about what had happened. “So, are you hungry?” Gina asks.
“Starving! Let's eat!”
“Where do you want to go?”
“I was thinking pizza,” Allie says.
“Me too! Lets do Michelangelo's! Give me thirty minutes.”
Allie flops onto her twin bed, relieved. Confessing would only cause undue harm at this point. What Gina doesn't know won't hurt her.
She watches Gina unpack. She is about to offer to help her but then Gina pauses before placing a pair of jeans in her drawer as though she has just remembered something.
“What's wrong?” Allie asks.
“Oh, I'm just worried.”
“About what?”
“About the fact that you have a guilty conscience over what happened with you and Drew. Please don't. I'm going to make you suffer someday,” Gina says through a fake smile. She clasps her hands together. “Pizza time!”
Eight Years Later
Nick is slouched sideways against the kitchen counter, his face red with worry over Allie's bachelorette party this evening. Gina rubs his chest, then his massive belly. “Trust me,” she says. Her voice is soothing with just a touch of condescension. “You have nothing to worry about with Allie. We're going to save some souls, collect what we need for our scavenger hunt, then meet up at my place with the rest of the girls for a sleepover.”
“No strippers?”
“Not unless you plan on showing up and taking your clothes off. But fair warning: we'll be armed with crochet needles and scalding hot tea, so you'd better be good,” Gina says.
Allie almost spits out her mouthful of water. Nick's eyes glint with mischief. Allie knows what's next. “No. Please no,” she says, still laughing about Gina's tea and crochet needle comment.
“Oh yes, please yes!” Gina says.
“Don't encourage him!” Allie says.
Nick throws his hands behind his head and grinds his pelvis in slow motion, then thrusts it at a laughing Gina. Enough already. Allie picks up her overnight bag and takes Gina by the hand. “C'mon- we're going,” she says before kissing Nick on the cheek, careful to avoid one of his thrusts. “Call you tonight,” she says as she struggles to drag Gina out the door.
