That was when inspiration struck.
I dashed for Cindy’s dropped pistol. It would only have one shot left, but that might be enough.
“Get back here!”
“Make me!” I skidded to a stop in front of the main SETI computer. I hoped that Treskan’s downloaded memories from Cindy would let it know what a raised middle finger meant.
The spray of acid told me that even if they didn’t, some things were universal. I dove out of the way, stars dancing before my eyes as I landed. I made out better than the computer, though. While I’d been out, Treskan’s body must have been able to make some better acid, since it ate through the plastic case of the computer tower like a knife through butter.
“No! My data!”
“Forget that! What about the broadcast?”
Joseph checked the tablet. “The whole system’s offline!”
“No…” Treskan’s arms fell limply to its sides. I almost felt sorry for it as it watched its only way home vanish before its eyes.
Almost. My impact bolt caught Treskan directly in its ruined eye. The natural bandage the Yarkite produced couldn’t hold the right side of its head together, and pieces of exoskeleton splattered the wall behind it.
Joseph gingerly stepped over and prodded its unconscious body with the oversized wrench. “Is it over?”
“Probably,” I said, snatching the tool from the Junior Scientist. I raised it over my head. “But it doesn’t get to play dead three times.”
Epilogue
Time seemed to fly after that. My plan had kept the Yarkites from attacking Checkpoint Alpha, but our world changed forever. We had learned that we lived in a hostile universe, if only because the Yarkites made it so. The oversized Sol Fleet had always been a boondoggle before, since the Tralingans had never so much as rattled a saber at us, but not anymore. The UEF Tycho Brahe was stationed outside of Checkpoint Alpha on a permanent basis.
Also, I owed Joseph some apologies. I’d been dead wrong; plenty of people remembered the second group of people to discover alien life. After some R&R, Cindy, Septivus, Joseph and I were invited back to Earth to do the rounds on all the talk shows and to give our accounts of the incident. I hear they’re going to get some pretty boy actor to play me in the movie. I’m not picky who they choose, as long as the check clears.
The politicians did more of their magic. We all got promotions, and some xenobiology experts on Mars fixed Septivus’ eyes without any of us paying a cent. Also, I had been an ex-con one minute, and the next, my record was completely expunged. Funny how getting shot at by Martian Separatists for five years hadn’t paid my debt to society, but wrestling with an alien for half an hour had. It’s a funny universe.
Soon enough, though? People moved on. When the Yarkite menace didn’t materialize right away, life went back to something approaching normalcy.
“I is not to be understandings,” said Septivus, late one night in my room. He lay on my bed, fiddling with a game console I had bought him on Earth. He didn’t have the easiest time with his tentacles, but he enjoyed himself.
I looked up from the best, most drop resistant multi-spectrum camera that money could buy. “What is you… I’ve been hanging out with you too much. I mean, what don’t you understand?”
“Is seeming to me you is having chance to get a better posting,” said Septivus. “You is being Captain now, yes? Why is you returning to the stations?”
“You’re here too,” I said.
“Is my sacred duties to translating,” he replied. “I was thinking you were bored here.”
“There’s some good perks,” I said. “Rent’s paid for, and as long as I can get through my checklist, I have the rest of my time to tinker.”
“But you could be havings these on Earth, yes?”
“Sure, but someone has to keep you and the Chief Scientist company.”
Septivus’ eyes narrowed and he swayed in that way that Tralingans used to nod. “I understanding,” he said. “You is planning to give the Chief Scientist a brood.”
My fingers slipped, nearly giving the camera a drop test. I caught it and set it aside. “We’re not that far yet. She’s not as bad as I thought, though. Especially when she isn’t an alien spy.”
Septivus swayed again. “We is in agreement.”
“That’s why you and I get along, Septivus,” I said. “We see things the same way.”
“Is not true,” he replied. “You humans is not seeing in ultraviolets.”
I covered my mouth so as not to offend him with my broad grin. There was no point spoiling things.
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Confessions of the Magpie Wizard Book 1: Infiltration Page 5
