“What did you do?” Sebastian watched, as tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared blankly at the blankets. “I don’t want to cause you any distress, my darling,” he murmured, brushing the errant moisture from her eyelash before tenderly running a finger down her pale cheek. “Promise me you will tell me more when you are ready.” He smiled tenderly when she nodded.
“Thank you,” Amelia whispered softly, pleased he had understood. “It is quite a sordid story, and something I cannot recount very easily. It opens a lot of painful memories.”
All traces of passion gone, Sebastian eased her into his arms, giving her the comfort she needed without question.
Amelia was touched when he respected her plea and kept quiet. She knew he had numerous questions and was struggling with the news of her identity. A comfortable silence settled around them for several moments.
“It was my mother’s death that caused the change in my father. He became remote and angry. To the point he refused to speak with me, and sent me to my aunts. I begged him repeatedly not to send me away, but he ignored me and sent me anyway,” Amelia whispered morosely.
It explained so much to Sebastian about their recent conflict. Pieces of the jigsaw began to slot into place, and he suddenly began to see Amelia much more clearly. “That explains why you were so angry with me for dragging you home with me, despite your arguments.”
Amelia smiled ruefully. “It seems my life is plagued by domineering men.” Her smile widened at his abashed look. She wasn’t falling for it for a second.
“The difference is, my darling; this domineering man has your best interests at heart,” Sebastian murmured, eyeing the gentle curve of her lips.
“I know. It is just, sometimes, you can be so-.” Amelia searched for the right word that wouldn’t cause him offence. “Lordly.”
She whacked him on his shoulder when he began to laugh.
“Lordly?” He grinned widely.
“Yes. You expect everyone to do as you want, when you want, without question. Even me,” Amelia grumbled. Her sparkling eyes met his as she fought not to return his smile.
“You deny me, my darling,” Sebastian murmured softly. “You deny me the one thing I really want every second we are apart.”
“Sebastian,” she whispered, sensing the sensual tension rise between them with a shiver of feminine anticipation.
“If I command you, would you allow me to make love to you again?” Sebastian already knew the answer to that question.
“No. Not if you command me to,” Amelia replied pertly.
“There you go. You deny me. If I asked you to let me make love to you. As my equal, not my servant, mistress or whore, would you?” Sebastian was hard as a rock again, as his body waited with anticipation for her answer.
“Yes,” Amelia whispered, watching the surprise enter his eyes as he gazed at her. “As your equal I would deny you nothing.”
Sebastian leant over her intently. “Are you sure?” Hope and anticipation brightened his gaze as he stared down at her, his erection already throbbing in readiness.
“Yes, I’m sure. Make love to me, Sebastian,” Amelia murmured tugging his head down to hers. At the last moment before their lips met, Sebastian paused, his eyes holding hers steadily. “No regrets afterwards?”
“No regrets, Sebastian.” Amelia kissed his lips softly. “Make love with me.”
Later that evening, Amelia sat somewhat awkwardly at the dining table, certain that everyone knew Sebastian had spent the day in her room. Although they hadn’t said anything, she had been aware of the knowing looks that had passed between Peter and Edward when she took her seat at the table. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, certain that she had a sign around her neck proclaiming ‘harlot’. She looked toward Sebastian who, seemingly oblivious, gave her a wink of reassurance.
“Tonight we need to look at that Penny Dreadful more carefully and see if anyone can remember anything about the murder. I think it has some significance or else why would it be hidden in a book?” Sebastian announced to the assembled group, once the meal was finished. “Let’s retire to the library and we will decide what we need to do.”
With everyone’s agreement, within moments they were ensconced in the library. Tea was served to the ladies and brandy to the men, as they opened the Penny Dreadful and placed it on a low table in the middle of the room.
“It looks so much like Lord Hawksworth,” Edward muttered, staring at the haunting drawing on the top of the Penny Dreadful with a shudder. “We need to visit the family and find out if it really is him.”
“We then need to find out how he came to be hung for murder. Did he really kill the maid?” Amelia added. “How do we find out?”
Sebastian frowned. “We need to discover if Hawksworth ever went to this maid’s workplace. Carshalton Hall. Does anyone know who owns it?” Everyone shook their heads negatively.
“I think I know,” Amelia declared.
“How?” Dominic replied with a frown. He quickly glanced at Sebastian and wondered where this was going.
“The face on the Penny Dreadful looks familiar, but not for the reasons you think.” She hadn’t told Sebastian of her thoughts yet, but continued regardless. Somehow, she knew he would understand. “My father is the Earl of Eastleigh,” Amelia announced into the silence.
“Good God, it’s you!” Dominic declared, after several moments of stunned silence.
“Pardon?” Sebastian asked. He stared nonplussed at his elder brother.
“Eastleigh,” Dominic replied, studying Amelia closely. “He has been looking for you.” His tone softened at the look of alarm on Amelia’s face. He glanced warily at Sebastian who was staring at him intently.
“I think you had better tell us more, Dominic,” Sebastian declared, taking a seat beside Amelia and squeezing her hand reassuringly. Her beautiful face had gone deathly pale.
Dominic saw for himself the worry she couldn’t hide. “I can remember about two and a half years ago, I was at White’s. Eastleigh was just leaving. He looked old and worn. Very unlike his usual debonair self. He had apparently been asking questions about investigators who looked for missing people. Rumour at the time was that he was looking for his daughter. Nobody knew much as she hadn’t come out, but word was that she had disappeared and he was trying everything possible to find her.”
Amelia fought the urge to run but knew that if she wanted these people to accept her, she had to be honest with them. She knew at that moment the folly of not confiding everything to Sebastian earlier, while they had been in bed.
“My mother was ill for some time.” Amelia clasped the reassuring warmth of Sebastian’s palm gratefully, as she opened the Pandora’s Box of painful memories.
“She was alright one day, then the next, something happened. I am not sure what. She refused to get out of bed, saying she had a headache and needed peace and quiet. It was a couple of months before I was due to move to London for my coming out. Unfortunately, as the weeks progressed she refused to get up and seemed to withdraw from life. She never seemed to recover.”
Amelia frowned as the memories bubbled like molten lava to the surface. She couldn’t suppress them. Despite the reassuring warmth of Sebastian sitting beside her, she shivered as memories rose to batter her senses.
“I got quite cross with her because she appeared quite well but refused to leave her room. Her behaviour didn’t make sense. She was eating healthily. At times she was up and moving around her room quite nimbly. At nights I could hear her arguing with my father, but not loud enough to hear the details. By morning she was too ill to leave her bed. One day, my father announced that my coming out was cancelled, and I was instead to go to live with my aunts in Bath.” Amelia’s voice quavered as she remembered those days of confusion and uncertainty.
“I argued, and tried to get him to reconsider but he refused repeatedly, insisting that I was to leave immediately. I tried to plead with my mother, but she became argumentative and insisted I go. Neith
er of them wanted me in the house anymore, and declared it would be better if I was introduced to the social circuit in Bath, rather than London. Despite everything, I argued with my mother. Begged and pleaded, but got nowhere.” Amelia took a deep breath as she remembered that last encounter.
“You don’t have to carry on, Amelia; it’s alright if you want to take a break,” Sebastian murmured, ignoring everyone seated around the room and drawing her closer to him. He slid his arm around her back in mute support.
“It’s alright,” she murmured, offering him a wobbly smile. Now she had begun to speak about the past, the words tumbled out in a flow she couldn’t stop.
“The day before I was due to leave, I decided to plead with my mother in a last ditch attempt to get her to listen to me. I hated my aunts. They are greedy, always dropping hints about needing money, and trading vicious gossip about people. My mother argued that I was to go. This time though, the argument became more heated. Suddenly she grasped her chest and fell to the floor. I screamed and shouted for help. I can’t remember much about what happened, other than I was shoved out of the room.”
The haunting vision of her mother’s lifeless body lying on the bedroom floor rose unbidden in her mind’s eye. It was so vivid, it could have happened just yesterday.
“I waited and waited for news of her condition, although inside I think I knew she was gone. When my father did request my presence in the library, he informed me that nobody was able to do anything for her. I could remain at Eastleigh House until the funeral, but as soon as she was buried I was to depart to my aunts’ house in Bath. I was to remain there until he sent further direction.” Amelia swiped at the tears on her face, as she thought about that horrifying moment when her future was decided for her.
Her protests were ignored, and she was ushered out by the family butler. The last sight of her father on that fateful evening was his rigid back turned he towards her as he stared out at the garden. He simply refused to listen to her, or acknowledge her any longer.
“As soon as my mother was in the ground, I was bundled into the coach and taken to Bath.” Amelia’s voice became monotone as she recounted events, as though watching from a distance. “I argued that last morning, but to no avail. My aunts didn’t want me really. Neither had married or had children, and had no idea how to deal with me. I wasn’t a child. Someone they could manipulate. So they saw me as a threat. I had no sooner walked through the door, than they laid out numerous house rules, and immediately set me to work.”
Amelia glanced around the room, reassured somewhat by the sympathy in the gazes of the people there. It bolstered her courage enough to allow her to continue.
“I worked as their servant. You see, they didn’t want me. They wanted the money my father was paying them to look after me. They got the better end of the deal because they were being paid to have me, and used me as a servant they didn’t have to pay.”
She paused briefly, as Edward swore.
“I didn’t mind,” she murmured softly, with a grateful smile at his supportive outburst. “It gave me something to do. It also provided me with enough grounding to live and cope as Sir Hubert’s housekeeper.”
“What happened then?” Dominic murmured, held as transfixed by her story as everyone else. “You obviously didn’t remain with your aunts. How did you get to Glendowie? Did you know Sir Hubert?”
Amelia shook her head. “No. I had been at my aunts’ for about a year, when I became aware of a certain male visitor who seemed to appear most days. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but after a while one of the staff overheard a conversation between my aunts and this strange man. They were discussing my dowry, and whether it would be released before or after my marriage to the man. My aunts were trying to draw a deal together, whereby they got a cut of my dowry if they persuaded my father the man was suitable. Which he wasn’t. But that didn’t matter to my aunts.” Amelia shuddered at the memories that rose.
“The staff felt sorry for me, and were shocked that my aunts would consider selling me. They agreed to help me leave. Bart, the coachman and butler, had a brother who ran a brewery cart. He arranged for me to travel on the cart to the nearest post chaise, where I purchased a ticket out of Bath, and into freedom. I took some money from my aunt’s room before I left. Enough to buy my way out of there. I figured they owed me, given the money they had been paid to look after me, that hadn’t actually been spent on anything other than themselves.”
“Quite right,” Peter muttered, with almost fatherly approval.
“Damned mercenary witches.” Edward practically bristled with outrage towards the unseen pair.
“So you caught the post chaise to Glendowie?” Sebastian murmured softly, raising her hand to his mouth. Fury and disgust towards her aunts, and the callous way had treated her, burned in his stomach. He swayed between admiration and horror as he listened to her recount events.
“I was on my way to Edinburgh,” Amelia confirmed. “I caught post chaise after post chaise out of Bath. Heading north until my money ran out. Only once I got to Mistlemouth I just had to get off the post chaise and rest for a while. I was exhausted. I purchased a pie, and sat beside the stream to rest for a while. It was nice to be out of the hustle and bustle of the busy coaching inn for a while. Unfortunately, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the light was beginning to fade. I rushed back to the inn only to find that the coach had left, and wasn’t due to visit again for another week. I could have waited, but didn’t have enough funds to purchase a room for one night, let alone several. I was panicked and didn’t know what I was going to do. As I left the inn, I bumped into Sir Hubert. Literally. I knocked him flying. He appeared very frail as he stood before me, yet so kind and apologetic for knocking into me. He was clearly struggling to carry his books and purchases, and with nothing else to do I offered to carry them home for him. As we walked, he asked me several questions about who I was, and why I was there. So I told him. Everything. Including my dire predicament, and sought his advice on what I should do.”
Amelia was aware of the amount of time she had been rambling on with her wayward thoughts, and wondered if everyone was bored yet. When she paused, she was met with an expectant silence as everyone waited for her to continue.
“When we got to his house, he apologised for the shabby state of the place and offered me the job as his housekeeper. Unfortunately, his funds were low. Even with his advanced age, it wasn’t really suitable for me to live in the house with him. We did a deal where he paid me lower wages, and in lieu of payment let me live in the small cottage through the woods. I got a job that paid some money, and had a roof over my head. He agreed not to inform anyone of my real name.”
“There you lived in relative solitude, until I landed on your doorstep,” Sebastian added into the stunned silence that had fallen over the group.
“Until you arrived,” Amelia confirmed ruefully, but without regret.
“If it is not too impertinent, how old are you?” Peter asked, frowning at her in consideration.
“Three and twenty,” Amelia murmured, with candour. “I am far beyond needing a guardian, so my father is not able to turn up and demand I go anywhere. I am my own person now.”
“Excellent,” Sebastian added, moving to stand. “That certainly makes life easier.”
“Does it?” Amelia moved to stand also, wary at his last comment. It sounded suspiciously like he had plans. “How?”
Sebastian merely smiled and wisely remained quiet. Having had her confirm her ancestry and imminent suitability to be his wife, there was really no reason why they couldn’t marry whenever they chose.
“You can now tell us why this man looks so familiar to you. In particular what his connections with Eastleigh are,” Sebastian said, handing her a brandy with a smile. “Thank you, Amelia, for taking us into your confidence. We all appreciate how painful it must be to recount such a difficult time.”
“I don’t really know much about Hawksworth,” Amelia replied, glancin
g at the Penny Dreadful and the horrible picture of the murderer. “I saw him on several occasions entering and leaving Eastleigh Hall. Only from a distance, you understand. I just assumed he was a business associate of Eastleigh’s.”
“I think someone needs to go to Eastleigh to see if they can find out what the connection was,” Dominic announced, glancing at Amelia when she instinctively made to protest. “If there is a business connection there, Eastleigh may be able to tell us a bit more about Hawksworth’s lifestyle. He may also be able to identify the man on the Penny Dreadful.”
“We can’t take the Penny Dreadful to the Hawksworth family and ask them,” Sebastian replied. “If it is him-.” He shook his head.
“But do we have to include Eastleigh?” Amelia felt panic begin to build. Had she done the right thing in confiding in them?
“You are perfectly safe here, darling, I promise you. Nobody can insist you leave. Not even your father.” Sebastian’s voice was hard and challenging. “As nobody else can remember anything about Hawksworth, it has to be Eastleigh for now.”
“I can go to visit the Hawksworth family and see if they have heard anything from, or about, Hawksworth since he left,” Edward offered.
“I will go to Derby Gaol and ask if anyone can remember anything about Hawksworth’s imprisonment, and if anyone visited him while he was there,” Peter offered, thinking of his own personal quest to locate the elusive Jemima. “I can also take a look at the death mask and see if it resembles the man on the picture.”
“See if you are able to convince the magistrate if we can have loan of it for the time being,” Sebastian asked, thinking aloud. “It might help to get a magistrate on board if our thoughts are confirmed.”
“I will have to tell him what has happened so far. Do I have your permission?” Peter queried, glancing at both Sebastian and Amelia.
“You have mine,” Sebastian replied, nudging Amelia who jerked, clearly startled. “Does he have your permission to mention your involvement in my rescue, and your connection to Eastleigh?” Sebastian asked softly.
Cinders and Ashes Page 15
