by Luxe, Eva
And I would get nowhere if I didn’t talk this out. Lacey and Sadie were both right.
Dammit.
I hated when that happened. But now that I knew, I had to act.
Chapter 29
Kina
I dialed Kyle’s number and waited for him to answer. The phone rang for so long that I was sure I would get voicemail. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty and my heart was pounding.
I was starting to prepare what I wanted to say in my mind when he answered. By the time he did, I was rather surprised, since I was expecting him to ignore me. I figured he must not know my number.
“It’s me,” I said.
“I know.”
Maybe that was why he’d taken so long to answer. Maybe he was trying to decide if he wanted to speak to me.
“Can we talk?” I asked. “In person? I don’t want to leave things the way they are, especially not with how things have been going with Jacob and me. I want to talk it out.”
“Are you going to invite him, too?” Kyle asked. He sounded unsure, bitter, even.
“I was considering it, yes,” I said. “I know that this is between you both, too, and not just between me and you or me and him. I want to sit down with the three of us and talk about it so we can sort it all out.”
Kyle was silent. I waited for him for so long that I wasn’t sure if he was still there.
“Yeah, okay,” he finally said when I was about to ask if I’d lost him.
“Yeah?” I asked to be sure. “Oh, my God, thank you.” I’d expected him to say no. “Will you come over to my place tonight?”
“I will,” Kyle said. “But I’ll only come if I can come stay with you again. I, uh, I’ve run into a bit of trouble with the room I’ve been using.”
I sighed. “Kyle, you’re my brother. You’re full of shit, and sometimes, I’m tired of taking care of you, but you’ll always have a place to stay with me if you need it. Don’t forget that.”
“Thanks, sis,” Kyle said. “I wasn’t sure if you would still take me back.”
“It wasn’t even a question. I just want you safe.”
He was quiet again for a moment. “So, I’ll see you tonight, then?”
“Your room is ready for you. I’m going to ask Jacob to be there at seven. You’re welcome to come over earlier to get your bags back into your room before we sit down and talk about everything.”
“I’ll be there half an hour earlier,” Kyle said.
When we hung up, I felt a bit better. Things were already looking up.
Kyle was coming back to me, and he was willing to sit down and talk to Jacob. It was a lot more than I’d expected from him.
Chapter 30
Jacob
When Kina invited me over to her place, I was surprised. We’d fucked in her car, but that didn’t make me any surer where we stood. She was still so distant from me, unwilling to accept my affection for her. Whatever it was that she felt for me, she made a point of keeping it very far away.
And I knew how unhappy she was that her relations with me had gone public. I didn’t have the feeling she wanted to take anything further. In fact, if anything, she blamed me.
But with her asking me to come over for a chat, I wasn’t going to say no. I wanted to see her, to hear her out, see what she had to say. I cared for her, and it was important to me that she’d given me a chance.
I took an Uber to her place so my car wouldn’t be recognized on the road. The last thing we needed tonight was paps following us around, photographing us the way Brian had told me they’d done with him and Sadie at the start of their relationship. I didn’t need anything more to go wrong and get between us.
The driver wasn’t from the States and didn’t seem to recognize me. Thanks to the GPS system that Uber used to book a ride, we didn’t have to communicate other than hi and goodbye. I ended up in front of Kina’s door at seven on the dot.
I took a deep breath, swallowed down my nerves, and knocked.
When she opened, she looked great. She always looked great, of course, but today, she wore a sky-blue top that brought her blue eyes out, making them look bright and beautiful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, accentuating her jaw, and she was wearing makeup. She’d gotten dressed up to see me tonight.
That was a good sign.
“Kyle is here,” she said. She stepped forward to give me a hug, and it was very PG.
“Oh?” I’d thought it would only be the two of us. I’d hoped we could talk about us. With Kyle here, her really pissed off brother, we weren’t going to be able to have a heart-to-heart. What exactly had she invited me over to talk about, then?
I stepped into her apartment, and it smelled like dinner. Kyle sat on the couch, glaring at me.
“Hey, man,” I said to him. He only nodded back at me. Well, this wasn’t awkward.
I walked to Kina in the kitchen where she was setting out dishes with spaghetti, minced beef, and vegetables.
“Do you need help with anything?” I asked.
She shook her head, smiling a little too brightly at me. “I’ve got it. We’re about ready to dish up.”
“I really wish you would have given me a heads up about this. I don’t know if you know this, but Kyle hates me.”
Kina shook her head. “I was scared you wouldn’t come if you knew he would be here.”
I frowned. “You didn’t think to even run it by me?”
She shrugged. “I did ask him about it, and he was okay to see you, so he’s not being held here against his will.
“So, you asked him but not me?”
She turned to me, those blue eyes brilliant, her expression difficult to read.
“I told you I was nervous you wouldn’t come. It’s important to me, Jacob.”
I sighed. What if it was important to me that I’d known before I came? But I didn’t say it because I would still have come, regardless of who she’d invited. I would have liked to her to talk to me about it, that was all.
“You boys can dish up,” she said and called Kyle from the living room. He came into the kitchen and dished first as if there wasn’t a lady present. When he had his food, I let Kina dish up before I took a plate of my own.
“This looks nice,” I said when we sat down at the dining table Kina had in the corner of the living room. “Thank you.”
We ate. Kyle looked irritated all the time. We make small talk, and he barely partook in it, glaring at me often, making everything unpleasant.
“Do you have a problem with me?” I asked after I’d just about had enough of him. I was already done eating. Kyle hadn’t cleared his plate, but he seemed done, too. Kina was the only one still eating.
“Yeah,” he said. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kina asked.
Kyle groaned. “Do you know how unfair it is watching you live the life when I’m screwed almost every day of my life?” he asked me.
I didn’t know how to respond to that.
“No, you won’t know,” he said. “You’re the bigshot, aren’t you? Doing everything your heart desires because you got your big break, and then you nearly threw it away, too. God, it’s sickening.”
I blinked at him. “What the hell are you on about? Are you pissed off that I had the opportunity to go pro or pissed off that I didn’t refuse it? Even if I didn’t take it, they wouldn’t have given it to you, Kyle.”
“Jacob—” Kina said.
“No, he’s right,” Kyle said. “They wouldn’t have given it to me, which pisses me off. Because no matter how badly I fuck up, no one cares except you, Kina.”
I didn’t know what Kyle was trying to get at. The conversation was bizarre.
“What do you want to say with that statement?” I asked.
Kyle sighed. “That I’m sorry.”
I had no idea how the anger, the accusations, and the apology fit together.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m so fucking angry
that I threw it all away this badly,” he said. “And blamed you for it. When I found out about the two of you, I tried to find every reason why I should hate you, but I can’t because it’s all me. All this shit in my life, it’s all me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea how it had started at one end and shot through to the other end.
“That’s all I have to say,” Kyle said to Kina. “That’s what you wanted, right?”
Kina opened her mouth to answer, but Kyle carried on. “I’m going to go to my room, now. You guys should talk your shit out, too. I’m tired of seeing you two sneak glances at each other like you think no one knows that you care so much. It’s making me sick.”
Kyle turned away.
“It’s not like that,” Kina said to his back.
He looked over his shoulder. “Don’t do what I did, sis,” he said. “Don’t throw something away before it’s even started.”
We watched him walk away. Kina looked at me when Kyle was gone, and she looked like she didn’t know what to say.
“Well, it was honest, if not tactful,” I said.
Kina nodded. “I just wanted him to get whatever was bothering him off his chest. I didn’t realize it would be that heartfelt.”
“People seem to feel a lot more than you give them credit for.”
She was suddenly angry, her mood crackling in the air all around us.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“I mean you’re expecting me to feel nothing at all for you even though you ought to know better. And you know you feel more, too. Why aren’t you just honest about it?”
“Why don’t you stop telling me how to feel?”
I shook my head. “You have no idea how hot you are when you’re angry,” I said.
That seemed to push her even further. “Don’t you dare. Compliments won’t work. You can’t get into my pants every time we have a fight.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t my intention. I just want you to talk to me, Kina.”
“Well, there’s nothing to say. I can’t do a relationship with you, no matter how much I want to. I have too much going on. I have Kyle to look out for, and all this shit up in the air with my job so close to falling apart, it’s not even funny. I didn’t even think about a relationship before it all went wrong.”
“But you do want one,” I said.
She started to protest, but she couldn’t say anything to that because she’d just told me that she wanted a relationship.
“I have a lot of stress, too,” I said. “I have a reputation that I’m constantly running from, and being with you hasn’t made it a lot easier for me. In fact, I don’t know if it’s still going to bite me in the ass. You’re not the only one who can’t afford to have a relationship right now.”
“So, wrong place, wrong time?” Kina asked.
I nodded. “I guess, so. Sometimes, it just isn’t the right time, even when the people are right.”
She nodded, and we sat together in silent agreement. She pushed the food she hadn’t finished around her plate, the fork in her delicate hands. I looked at her, tracing the contours of her face with my eyes, her lips, her beautiful nose and her long lashes.
What was I doing?
It was time to make a move. A sacrifice. A risk. For Kina—anything.
Chapter 31
Jacob
“You know, instead of sitting here, telling each other why we shouldn’t be together, maybe I should tell you why I want to be with you,” I said, point blank.
Kina blinked at me, surprised. She started to speak, but I held up my hand to silence her.
“You’re beautiful, Kina,” I said. “And not just on the outside. You glow with compassion and sincerity, and no matter how hard things get, you think about others before you think about yourself. But that’s not even the best part.”
“What’s the best part?” she asked softly. She was listening to me, now.
“The best part is that because of you, I want to love again. I want to do the whole happily-ever-after gig. I didn’t want that after my ex cheated on me. I was happy being alone. But now, I want to be with you. I want to be one half of a whole.”
She shook her head, frowning. “You want to be with me because of how I make you feel?”
“No,” I said, “although that’s part of it. I want to be with you because of how I feel about you. I love you, Kina Peterson.”
She blinked at me, at a loss for words. I leaned toward her, put my palm on her cheek, and kissed her. She seemed unsure at first, kissing me back tentatively, like she wasn’t sure if what was happening was real. It only took a moment for her to realize what was happening before she kissed me back.
I shifted my chair closer to hers and pulled her against me. Her perfume was in my nostrils, the taste of the food we’d eaten and something that was just Kina in my mouth, and I knew I wanted this for the foreseeable future. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but I knew that right now, she was what I wanted.
I had a feeling that she was what— who— I would still be wanting for a long time to come. And that she wouldn’t break my heart if I gave it to her. She wasn’t that type of person.
“Be my woman, Kina,” I said, breaking the kiss long enough to talk. “Throw caution to the wind and jump. I promise I’ll catch you.”
“Okay,” she said, tears of joy streaming down her face.
I loved her so much. I couldn’t believe I had such a perfect woman in my life: one that would submit to me in the bedroom but who was strong and feisty in public. One who knew I was her man and that I would protect her, no matter what. And one who clearly loved me as much as I loved her.
Because of that, I would move mountains to be with her. I would promise to catch her whenever she leapt.
It was the first time I made a promise that big, but it was also the first time I really meant it. I knew I could make good on my promise. Because in a very short time, Kina had become my everything.
Chapter 32
Kina
Jacob kissed me, and I was wet almost right away. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted him before, and it was because, for the first time, he admitted how he felt to me.
I hadn’t told him that I loved him, too, but I did. And I wanted to show him.
I took his hand and lead him to the bedroom. We passed Kyle’s closed door, and I didn’t care that he was here and might hear us. This was my house and my man, and I was going to do what I had been meaning to do for a long time.
I was going to make love to him.
When we were in the bedroom, Jacob pulled me against him, the line of his body pressed against mine. He kissed me, his tongue in my mouth, tasting me, exploring me. I gasped, melting against him.
His hand moved to my breast, and he squeezed me through the material of my blouse. My nipples were hardening against my bra, and I gasped when he pinched one, rolling it between his fingers.
He pulled my shirt up, and I lifted my arms so he could pull the shirt over my head.
He unclasped my bra and pulled it off, dropping it on the floor. I stood in front of him, naked from the waist up.
Jacob rubbed my breasts with his palms, dipping his head and taking one nipple into his mouth. I put my hands on his head, feeling him moved as he sucked on me, alternating between my two nipples.
When he straightened up to kiss me again, I unbuttoned his collared shirt and peeled it off his shoulders. He looked fantastic without a shirt, his muscles bulging and rippling beneath his skin.
I reached for his belt and undid it, unbuttoning his pants and pulling down the zipper. I reached into his pants and pulled out his hard cock. His skin was smooth, the flesh beneath it hard, silk over steel. I tugged his pants over his hips and worked them down to his knees, kneeling in front of him.
Jacob put his hands on my head, his fingers pushing into my hair, and I opened my mouth.
He pushed his cock between my lips, and I sucked him down, st
retching my mouth to accommodate his size. Tonight, he seemed bigger than usual, eager.
I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock, the other hand cupping his balls, and I squeezed, massaging him. He gasped and groaned as I bobbed my head up and down, sliding his dick in and out of my mouth.
He guided me with his hands in my hair, holding onto me without pushing himself down my throat. I did that all on my own.
I pushed him passed my soft pallet where most women gag, relaxing my throat and sucking him in as far as his length would allow.
“Oh, damn, Kina,” he groaned.
I gave him a few strokes of my throat before pulling out so I could breathe. When I was ready, I plunged him back in, and he shuddered, his stomach muscles contracting.
He jerked back, sliding out of my mouth with a pop.
“If you keep doing that, I’m going to lose it before we get to the best part,” he said and pulled me up. He gave me a peck on the lips before pressing the line of his body against mine and walking me backward toward the bed.
We collapsed on the bed in a tangle of limbs before he crawled back and stood up to pull down his pants all the way. He was naked now, his hard cock bobbing as he walked. He put on a condom then crawled onto the bed, and my thighs fell open for him.
He looked up at me with a mischievous glance and lowered his head to my pussy. He stuck out his tongue and licked me from my entrance all the way up my slit to my clit. I jerked and cried out when he flicked the tip of his tongue over my clit. I gasped and moaned as he licked me.
When he closed his lips around my clit and sucked, I cried out. I put my hands on his head, feeling him move beneath my fingers again.
Jacob pushed a finger into my pussy, sliding into my wetness with ease. I gasped as he licked me and finger fucked me at the same time.
