“Do not be embarrassed. I quite enjoyed it. However I will not enjoy any of those pieces of thread snapping and revealing anything to the general public.” He took a seat on the couch and leaned back, crossing his right ankle onto his left knee.
“Are we swimming then?”
“We could be.” Not this again, I thought. I’d never get a straight answer out of him.
“I’ll get ready, I’ll be quick.” I went back to my bedroom and closed the door. I hopped in the shower quickly to shave my legs and wash up. After I got out I slid on a bathing suit that had a little more fabric and secured my hair in a long braid. I pulled on a pair of shorts and T-Shirt and considered it to be as good as it was going to get. A half hour later I emerged from the bedroom to see him flipping through the television channels. He switched it off when he noticed me and got up. He gave a small smile and walked over to me.
“You look beautiful.” He bent and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before he opened the door and led me out. We had apparently graduated to kisses on the cheek. This was surprising, but I was not going to complain.
We had been in the car twenty minutes already as we headed, yet again, out of town.
“I do have some bad news, but I don’t want it to ruin our day,” he said as he stared forward as he drove.
“What is it?” I felt nervous and disappointed that we were going to start on the wrong foot.
“I need to leave earlier than planned. I will be leaving very early on Saturday morning. I know it is only one day but I needed to tell you.” His face was serious and slightly stressed.
I sat and thought about it for a moment. I had tried to mentally prepare for Sunday and now I had to get ready one day sooner. I adjusted my face and tone before I responded.
“Ok.” I felt strong and happy about that one word.
“Just ok?” He glanced at me for a second.
“I assume there is nothing I can do to change your mind so I must accept it.”
“Well, ok. That went better than I had planned.” His tone almost seemed relieved.
“Is it business?”
“Yes, I have a very important meeting that had to be moved to Saturday because my client will be out of town on Monday when it was originally scheduled. I stand to make a lot of money because of this, so I must go.”
“I understand.”
“You surprise me daily Olivia. I am glad you are ok with this, however I am shocked by you.”
“Well you surprised me too I guess.” I tried to get it together as to not ruin our day.
“Let’s change the subject to something brighter. Jason and I are going to be hosting a little dinner party. There are some clients who we want to take out on the boat and wine and dine tomorrow night. I’d love it if you came.” He cleared his throat and took a breath “As my date.”
“You want me around people who you are possibly working for? Is that a good idea?”
“You can hold your own Olivia. They will be very impressed with you, and honestly once dinner is over I can spend the night with you. I’d prefer not to let you out of my sight for the next two days.”
“Is this like fancy?”
“It will be a semi-formal dinner, yes. We will have dinner, open bar, dancing. Most of these men are here with their wives. Your girlfriends are invited as well. Please come.” I don’t know that I had ever heard him ask so nicely for anything.
“I’ll be there.” I knew I wanted to go, but the thought of being on his arm in front of real life clients made me nervous.
“Thank you.” His hand left the shifter knob and squeezed my hand briefly.
We pulled up to a sign for a park. Cole expertly packed his backpack again and he headed into the jungle.
“I’m hoping today that you will have an open mind. I know you have said before that you are not terribly adventurous and you are reserved but it is important you place your trust in me. I would never lead you into danger.” He walked as he spoke. Every once and awhile his arm or hand would brush mine and I would will the contact to happen again. Every touch ignited a small spark that was already starting to turn into smoldering ember.
“Why do I feel like you’re leading into the wolves den?” He gave a small smile.
“I’m not Olivia. I just need you to trust me. Have I led you astray yet?”
I shook my head and kept walking. As we took a few more steps I started to hear voices. They came closer and closer until we finally stepped into a clearing. Scattered around were about twenty people. Some sunbathing on a towel, others talking, drinking, overall having a good time. I gave Cole a confused look and he took my hand and squeezed it as we kept walking. He nodded at a few people, not seeming to really know anyone. I felt my body break out into a cold sweat as I finally understood what is about to happen.
“No, no way. I cannot do this. I swear to you it will not happen. This isn’t like the ziplining. This is just crazy.” I tried to pull my hand away to back up but he did not release it.
“Keep walking.” His voice was low and quiet as he nearly pulled me the next ten feet.
When we finally stopped I was staring off of a huge cliff. Below there were people in the water, even people sitting around a fire while they cooked food. The water was clear blue and the sun reflected off it causing it to look almost white. The waves sounded so far below us and the air still smelled like salt water.
“You ready?” Cole asked.
“I’m not doing this.” I refused. This was not only not safe but it was crazy.
“Yes you are.” Cole turned toward me and dropped his book bag. He took off his sunglasses and set them carefully inside the bag. Followed by his sandals and lastly his shirt. He lifted the shirt over his head and I immediately felt my mind get foggy. God he was gorgeous and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He roughly folded his shirt and put it inside the bag. He smiled at me.
“Your turn,” he said as he stepped even closer. “Arms up.” He barely whispered. I couldn’t control my body, I had no idea why my limbs would obey him, but not me. I lifted my arms and his hands went to my waist as he slowly lifted my shirt to reveal my bathing suit top. He gently folded my shirt and in it went to the bag. He stood even closer to me now, his eyes blazing as he stared directly into mine. I did not break his gaze even as I felt his fingers on the bare skin of my lower stomach. I felt my button on my shorts pop open and heard my zipper slowly slide down. My heart was pounding and my blood was shooting through my veins as he tugged down the sides of my shorts until they fell. I couldn’t believe how hot it was that he had undressed me, even aside from the fact that I had on a bathing suit underneath and we were most certainly not alone.
“You make me literally lose my mind Olivia.” His hands gently rubbed my arms and shoulders as I stayed standing right in front of him. I couldn’t form words just yet. I only nodded which made him smile and give a small laugh which lit up his face.
“It’s very important that you listen to all I have to say. First thing is I need you to trust me. Do you?” He waited for my answer. All I could do was nod my head. “I need you to actually say it Olivia.” His tone was firm. The question seemed to hang in the air and it felt to me as if it were extremely loaded. If I said yes I felt like I was saying yes and agreeing to many other things than what was going to happen here.
“Yes, I trust you.” I did. I hated it with every part of my head and soul, but I did.
“That is the best thing I’ve heard all day. Now I need you to follow my directions to the letter. This is approximately 75 feet high. That is high enough to physically hurt you if you do not follow my instructions. You’re going to feel like you’re falling forever, but before you hit he water you must make sure you are completely vertical. Tuck in your hands and arms to your body and keep your legs tight together. If you do that you will slide right into the water and be fine. That’s what I need you to do, ok?” I felt so nervous I could just about throw up. I just nodded, knowing I wouldn’t be able to form coh
erent sentences.
We walked behind about two people who were getting ready to take their jump. A young couple kissed right before they jumped into the air, away from the edge of the cliff. Both hit the water with amazing speed and also grace, they both popped up from the water, and swam toward the beach below.
“I also need you to jump out, not down. There are rocks down there that will kill you Olivia. If you jump outwards you will of course miss them, like they did.” His look was so serious, almost strained and his voice was the softest I’d ever heard it. He was like a father instructing his child. I had never seen this much softer side of him.
“I’m scared.” That was all I could say. I couldn’t sum it up in any better words. He smiled and pushed a stray strand behind my ear.
“Me too, but it has nothing to do with this,” he motioned toward the edge, “you are so brave and tough and incredible that I want you to feel that way, even if it’s only for the afternoon. I want you to see you how I see you. I had no idea why I needed to know you. I just knew that this woman had completely captured my attention by doing nothing but sitting there sipping her drink. Now I am completely intoxicated by you and can’t stay away. This is unlike me Olivia and it terrifies me. Never in my life have I ever been so instantly attracted to someone, let alone someone who can put me in my place. You have made me rethink some things in my life and I don’t know if that makes me brilliant or stupid. I want you to see how strong you are. I will go first. Pay attention to how I hit the water.” He put some space between us and gave me a shy smile. The look on his face and his tone was unlike nothing I had ever seen from him.
I shook like a leaf as he made his way to the edge. I watched him place his feet on the edge of the rock. I saw his shoulders rise and fall as he took a couple of deep breathes and rubbed his hands together. If he was nervous, I was about to shit my pants. This was so not me, how did I get here?
I watched him put a slight bend his knee and push off. Before I knew it he was mid air and tumbling towards the water at a staggering speed. I held my breath as I waited for him to hit the water and he did, barely making a splash. I felt like my heart was going to burst from my chest as his head popped up from under water and he wiped his face. His eye immediately climbed the cliff to find me. He was practically a little speck in a sea of blue.
I hesitantly took the spot where he was standing not even a minute ago. I looked down, knowing right below me, rocks were waiting under the water. All of his advice flopped around inside of my head. His whole pep talk seemed to be about things other than our adventure. He had admitted he was terrified. Was he terrified of the jump? I thought not. He clearly had done it before, if not many times. Was he really talking about whatever this was that was going on between us? Was he terrified of me, of my feelings, of his own feelings? I felt like this was a crazy step I had to take to get some answers. I wanted to know what his feelings were.
I steeled myself and prepared for what I was about to do. I felt the cool rocks under my feet and now the waves crashing sounded so fierce. I felt the breeze blow over my face and I said a silent prayer. I bounced on the balls of my feet a few times to get myself to let go. I looked down one more time and saw Cole, the small speck in the large blue ocean and I closed my eyes. I counted silently in my head and at the number three my feet pressed hard against the rock and I was airborne.
My eyes stayed closed until I felt like I was falling way too long. My arms flailed out to the side, unconsciously trying to slow my falling. I remember what he said about my body landing and I quickly tucked my arms to my sides and my legs together. I heard the breeze flying through my hair and by my ears.
Suddenly the noise of the breeze was overtaken by the sound of nothingness in my ears. I floundered for a moment before I started kicking toward the surface of the water. My heart was pounding as I felt myself running out of air. I kicked harder and faster, trying to break the surface more quickly. I finally came out of the water, sputtering and spitting out water, gasping for air.
Before I could even get my bearings I felt arms and legs wrap around me and his lips were on mine. Once my mind caught up to my senses I kissed him back with every ounce of terror, worry, fear, lust, and bit of excitement that I felt. My body was pressed dangerously close to his as his hands traveled my back and sides. My hands were gripping his back, feeling his muscles move as he both kissed me and kept us afloat.
Finally I could not breath and pulled away. I opened my eyes and Cole’s eyes were blazing. The look on his face was dangerously intense. He was focused solely on me and it made every nerve in my body perk up.
“You did amazingly. I can’t begin to express how incredible you are. Come, let’s go back to shore.” He started swimming toward the beach, and grabbed my hand as he began to get his footing. We walked hand in hand onto the beach, walking by people who were regarding us strangely given our momentarily lapse of judgment in the water.
Cole led me by the hand to trail that led up to where we jumped off.
Chapter 9
“You did really well. I’m impressed,” Cole said as we began walking up the trail that led to the top of the cliff.
“Impressed? I don’t know if I’ve ever heard you give a real compliment.” I smiled at him and he gave me an amused look.
“I compliment you all of the time. You choose not to accept them. I cannot be blamed for that.”
“That was fun, but terrifying.”
“I would have to agree,” Cole said.
“But you’ve done it before.”
“Yes, I was not talking about the jump.” He stared off in front of us, not looking my way.
“You’re being cryptic again,” I said slightly annoyed.
“Yes I am. I have broken my rule three times in the past week. One of those I blame solely on you.” His eyes shot over to me and I saw the corner of his mouth turn up into a smile.
“You have a rule not to kiss me?” I was kind of shocked and hurt at the same time.
“No. I have a rule not to kiss anyone, let alone do it several times and enjoy each one.”’
“Why?”
“Because my life is complicated enough without a woman muddying up the waters.”
“Do I muddy the waters?” I was curious. This was the most information I had ever gotten out of him when he was being secretive.
“You turn the waters black Olivia.” He laughed and the sound was so nice to hear.
“I want to know why this is so wrong. You said you don’t have a girlfriend, you’re here on business/pleasure and you seem to enjoy spending time with me. What makes this wrong again?”
“What makes it wrong is that I will undoubtedly hurt you. And this point I cannot hurt you without hurting myself. You have weaseled your way in and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know how I feel about you when I’m with you, and I am certainly clear on how I feel when I’m kissing you, but that conflicts with how I am supposed to feel overall.”
“Why do you think you’re so bad for me?” I asked.
“Because I know that I am.”
“But why?” That wasn’t enough.
“Because I am not innocent and sweet like you. I have hurt people in the past and will continue to hurt people in the future. I don’t want one of those people to be you because now I am involved.”
“Involved?”
“Yes. Involved. I care for you.”
That was it! I had heard it with my own ear. He had feelings for me. I still didn’t understand why this was bad but he had admitted it. Inside I did a happy dance.
“You care about me.” I repeated, not quite a question, but not quite a statement.
“Yes Olivia.”
“I care about you too, you know.” I said.
“Yes, I know,” he said matter-of-factly.
“How?”
“How do I care for you or how do I know?”
“Both I guess.”
“I know because of how you have changed. You think a lot
more and talk less. Like you’re trying to figure out what to say. You developed a filter. That night on the beach, the night we first spoke you were a little spitfire. You didn’t care who you offended. Now you walk on eggshells.”
“And the other part?”
“Although you are equally persistent. I care about you enough to be scared to hurt you. I am also scared to leave you. A woman has never made me afraid. I’m afraid sometimes you will take me at my word, that this can’t happen and you will stop seeing me. You would be right and smart in doing that, but selfishly I hope you don’t.”
“Maybe I’m not smart then,” I said.
“Except you’re incredibly brilliant. Although you are too smart for your own good and won’t listen to reason.” His voice was low but kind of hoarse.
“You contradict yourself continuously.”
“My internal conflict escapes sometimes.”
“You tell me that we should not see each other yet you hope I don’t leave. What am I supposed to do?” He shrugged at my question and kept walking.
“I cannot make that choice. I can only give you information to make a decision with.” I got mad the moment he said this.
“You don’t give me any kind of information. You talk in circles. One you’re as romantic as can be and the next you tell me I should leave you alone. What the hell do I do with this?” I was nearly yelling at him. He stopped and faced me.
“Alcoholics, they cannot control themselves around alcohol. They cannot have one glass, they must have the whole bottle. If they do not have any they can train themselves to abstain. However, say a glass of liquor is before them. They know they should not take a sip because they will not be able to control their actions. You are the damn alcohol.” I thought about his analogy for a moment. He was clearly angry as he started walking again. Was this forever going to be our pattern? After every kiss his mood would sour and we’d have to work back up to the level we were at before. It was quite literally an emotional roller coaster.
“Do you want me to make it easy on you and walk away?” His head snapped around to look at me. We had stopped walking and we were simply staring at one another.
The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules) Page 7
