by Kylie Walker
For today she’d have to settle for the look on her brother’s face as he gripped the “oh shit” handle above the passenger door and looked like he was re-thinking the four extra pancakes he’d eaten just before they left the house. She jerked the steering wheel hard to the left and then pulling it smoothly back to the left she simultaneously tapped on the clutch and brake pedals and felt the car slide sideways.
“Sammy what the fuck are you doing?”
“Watch your mouth, Aaron.”
“Watch you driving Sam.”
She was watching it. She maintained pressure on the throttle and as the wheels spun she steered into the slide. It took them drifting on four wheels right up in front of the big windows of the parts store, but she wasn’t finished yet. The tires screeched as she pulled the wheel hard to the left and floored the gas. She pressed her body into the leather bucket seat and gripped the wheel with both hands as they did another four wheel slide into the parking lot. She was smiling from ear to ear. Poor Aaron was green. She lifted her foot off the gas pedal and feathered the brake until the blue Mustang slid into a parking spot, perfectly positioned between the two yellow lines. As soon as they were sitting still Aaron pulled the door open and jumped out. Samantha was laughing as she watched her brother racing for the front door and undoubtedly the bathroom to throw up…it was a great commute.
When she stepped through the tinted glass doors she was greeted by Lee’s disapproving face. She felt her face color slightly as she passed the retail area as quickly as she could. She had been unpacking car manuals and arranging them the night before. She had six boxes to finish. She was whistling when she stepped into the utility area and came face to face with Conrad. He looked as surprised to see her as she did him. He was holding a clipboard and dressed in a casual black suit with a green tie. His usually messy hair was styled and he was clean shaven. He could have graced the cover of any men’s magazine in the world and sold millions of copies. That flame that smoldered in the pit of her belly since she met him ignited and her body was suddenly engulfed in the heat of that flame.
He smiled…sort of. “Hi Sam, what are you doing here?” He was looking at her body and sending chills down her spine. She realized suddenly however that he was looking at the red and blue button-up shirt she was wearing with the store logo and her name on it. He didn’t know that she worked here.
“I work here,” she said, pointing at the shirt. “What about you?”
“Yeah, I work here too. Well, not here, exactly. I’m the district manager for all of the stores in this district.”
“Wow, fancy.”
His lips twitched. “I’ve been working for Luke since I was eighteen. I started on the sales floor too.”
She shrugged. “I wasn’t worried about it.”
“How’s Luke?”
“He’s good. But, you might know better if you visited him every once in a while. If you’re just avoiding me I could leave for the day or something.”
“Sam, I’m not avoiding you. It’s just…I just needed some time to figure all of this out. I’ve been checking in on Luke at the office.”
“Nice to know you’re a liar.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not avoiding me but you visit Luke at the office to make sure you won’t run into me…The not avoiding me part, that was the lie.”
His green eyes seemed to darken slightly as he said, “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“What’s to say? You slept with me, you didn’t like it….”
“I did like it,” he whispered, “A lot.”
“Oh, okay. So you slept with me and you are one of those guys who attract needy women so you were afraid that I’d read more into it than I was supposed to.”
“No Sam. I slept with you and found out about Luke all in the space of a couple of hours. I needed some time to get used to things, I guess.”
“Okay, take all the time you need. I’m not one of those needy women by the way.” She picked up one of the boxes and put it on the dolly. When she went to grab the other one he put down the clipboard and bent down too. “I got it.”
“I don’t mind helping you.”
“I don’t need your help, thanks.” She stacked two more boxes on top of that one and without another glance in his direction, she pulled the dolly out front. She was glad that he couldn’t see how she was shaking inside. She’d wondered for two days what was going on in his head and if finding out about their “relationship” was going to change things. Five days without a phone call and one look at his face was all she needed to answer her questions…he was sickened by the thought.
She dropped the boxes and took the box cutter out of her pocket. Aaron was at the counter talking to a customer and the other guys were busy on the phone or out on the floor. She saw Conrad come out to the front out of the corner of her eye and approach Lee with his clipboard.
“Hey Aaron,” he said when he saw her brother. Aaron glanced sideways at him, gave him a chin nod and went back to his customer. Lee on the other hand looked like he would be happy to give him a BJ if he dropped his pants.
“So how did things look back there, Conrad?”
Conrad sat down on one of the stools next to Lee and for the next half an hour as Sam stocked the books on the shelf; they went over whatever it was on the clipboard. Sam finished her three boxes and went in the back to get the other three, when she came back out, Conrad was gone. She was pissed that the idea of him leaving without even saying good-bye made her chest hurt. She’d never had feelings like this about any man and the fact that Conrad obviously didn’t feel the same way just literally pissed her off. “Sam?” She turned and saw Lee standing at the entrance of his office. “Can I see you for a minute?”
“Sure.” Sam left the dolly next to the book rack and went into the office.
“Have a seat Sam.” She sat down, wondering what was going on. Once she was seated he said, “Conrad told me about Luke.”
Sam had been thinking about talking to Lee about taking the time off to go with Luke for his treatments all week, but Luke asked her to wait until he had a chance to talk to him. He wanted to let his board of director’s know what was going on before they heard it from someone else. He’d just met with them on Thursday and she’d planned on talking to Lee today. It looked like Conrad beat her to it.
“Yeah, about that…”
“I’m really sorry to hear it. My heart is breaking for your whole family. You’ve all had a lot of changes lately.” Lee said. Samantha didn’t want him to get all mushy on her. She preferred they handled this on a professional level. She took a deep breath and willed the shakiness out of her voice as she said,
“Yeah, it sucks. I was planning on talking to you today. Luke starts his chemo treatments on Monday. I’d like to be able to go with him. He’ll have them from eight to eleven Monday through Thursday, so I wondered if I might be able to change my schedule for a few months.”
“Luke’s my boss, and my friend. I am of course going to do whatever I can to help and if changing your schedule will help then of course I’ll do it. You might want to speak to Conrad however before you make a lot of changes.”
“Why? Does he have to approve it?”
“No, I can do that,” Lee said. “It’s just that the reason he told me about Luke was because he said we’d have a temporary district manager for a while. He mentioned something about taking him for his treatments.”
Son of a bitch! “I’ll talk to him,” she said out loud, “But I’ve already spoken to Luke about this. I’ll be the one taking him.”
“Okay then, we’ll plan on you coming in at noon or so starting on Monday. If you want the hours you can stay until seven, if not we can get you out of here when the last shift comes in at three.”
Three hours a day wasn’t exactly what she had in mind, but she had to also think about how much help Luke might need at home. For now it might be better not to commit to any more than that. “
Let’s start with three and see how things go,” she told him. She thought about Conrad taking the time off again. There was no way she would let him be the one to take care of her father. That was her job, even if she had only really known him for less than a month.
Sam got back to work after her talk with Lee. The day was busy so it went by quickly and the best part of it came when she got a call from Shawn just before quitting time. “Hey Sam! We’ve got a race out near Huntington tonight. The winning take will be close to five grand. Are you in?”
“Hell yeah!”
Shawn laughed. “Okay, are you going to drive out or you want me to bring the trailer?”
“Only pussies trailer their cars to the race,” she said.
He laughed again. “True story. I’ll text you the address and see you there before nine, okay?”
“Perfect Shawn, thanks!”
“No problem. Hey, you haven’t talked to Conrad lately have you?”
“Um…not really, why?”
“I just can’t figure out what’s going on with him. He hasn’t been himself lately.”
“Oh,” Sam hesitated for a second over telling Shawn Conrad’s personal business, but then she remembered it was her business too. “His step-father is sick. He has cancer.”
“Oh, fuck. No offense but why did he tell you that and not me? I mean I’ve been here for all of the shit he’s been through.”
“It’s nothing against you, Shawn. He didn’t tell me. Conrad and I found out that his step-father is my bio dad.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“Nope.”
Shawn laughed. “I’ll be damned! Conrad’s your brother?”
“Yeah,” she said with a nervous chuckle. “Small world, huh?”
CHAPTER 17
“Have you spoken to Conrad?” Luke and Sam were in the shop getting her car ready for the night’s race. That seemed to be the question of the day. Sam picked up the torque wrench and finished torqueing down the head bolts as she said, “I saw him at work today, all decked out in his supervisor suit. I didn’t know he was our supervisor.”
Luke put down the screwdriver he was holding and took a drink of his water. “Does that upset you that you’re working on the floor and he’s supervising?”
“Of course not.” It didn’t upset her exactly…it was just weird.
“You know he started out on the floor too. I only promoted him when he finished up his business degree.”
“Okay, I really don’t care. You brought him up.” She knew she was protesting too much and it was obvious from the look on Luke’s face that he knew it too. He picked the screwdriver back up and stood next to her as she hovered over the engine’s partially disassembled V -8. He looked like he had more to say, but after opening and then closing his mouth he went back to assembling the jets and metering plates. Sam was doing her best to tuck the images of Conrad in that tailored suit back down where she’d had them before Luke brought him up. God, he looked good all dressed up like that. He looked good in a pair of jeans. He looked good naked…Shit!
She turned the torque wrench too hard and it slipped and her hand hit up against the engine block. “Damn it!” she shook her hand while Luke looked on.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, more annoyed than hurt. She had to get her mind off of Conrad. If she hadn’t already got the hint when he didn’t call her in five days today had sealed the fact that he didn’t want her. She’d never wanted a guy that didn’t want her. Of course other than for sex, she’d never wanted a man period. Good sex gave her the same kind of adrenaline rush she got from racing. It was usually not as good, but when she couldn’t be behind the wheel, it was a close substitute. Conrad was different from the start and she should have known better. She liked him way too much to sleep with him. She usually stuck to strangers or guys that she didn’t particularly like. It was easier to leave when it was over and forget it almost as quickly as it had happened. She was kicking herself for now realizing that if any man would leave her both satisfied and wanting more, it would be him. She was too comfortable with him and too attracted to him…Shit.
“You can learn a lot from him you know,” Luke said. He obviously wasn’t ready to let it go.
She turned back toward him and smugly said, “Maybe he can learn a lot from me.”
Luke smiled. “I’m sure you could teach each other a lot. He’s a good kid and like you he’s been through a lot of shit no kids your age should have to go through.”
Luke’s eyes were sad and she asked, “You’re talking about his mom?” Before she realized Conrad’s mother had been the wife Luke lost to suicide, she’d pictured him as having a comfortable, indulged life.
“She is a big one, but Conrad’s heartache really started about five years ago. You’ll need to let him tell you the rest when he’s ready. It’s not my story to tell. I’m just glad the two of you are friends. He has a lot of friends and I’m sure you will too once you get adjusted to life here. But I think you and Conrad can help each other…”
“Don’t say it. Don’t say we can help each other when you die. If you go around thinking that you’re going to die then you will. You haven’t even started your treatments. A lot of people beat cancer, Luke. You can do it too.” Samantha wasn’t sure she believed that herself, but she was trying.
Luke smiled. “I was just going to say you could help each other with your cars if I’m not able to while I’m having chemo and radiation.”
Sam felt her face go hot. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m doing my best to go into this with a positive attitude, Sam. But, I also have a lot of other feelings about it and they’re not so positive.”
Samantha looked at her father. When she was a little girl she used to wonder what he would think of the tomboy she’d become. She wondered if he’d like the fact that she loved cars so much, or if he’d long for a little girl who loved frilly dresses and Barbie dolls. She finally had her answer. Luke simply accepted her for who she was. He had no contempt for the fact that she loved to race. It didn’t seem to embarrass him that she had permanent grease stains underneath her fingernails or that her t-shirts were all stained with oil. He was not only willing to accept her but seemed willing to do whatever he could to help her achieve her dreams. He was the father that she’d always dreamed of and she wasn’t anywhere near ready to consider losing him again.
She dug through the toolbox looking for a 5/8 wrench, and trying not to make eye contact with him. She didn’t want to admit to him that she’d been having some thoughts that were not too positive as well. As a matter of fact she’d had several dreams this week where she stood next to her brother at another funeral and she’d woken up shaking and sweaty and sick to her stomach. She had a bad feeling deep inside that she was going to lose him, and she couldn’t shake it.
When Samantha finally turned back toward her father she was composed enough for a smile. “You’re going to kick cancer’s ass and I’m going to help you,” she said. Luke winked at her.
“Thank you, Sam.”
She didn’t say anything else as he tucked his head back underneath the hood of the car. She did the same and she couldn’t help think that working silently side by side with him was cheaper and more effective than any therapy she could have sought when what counted as her life had finally fallen apart.
**
Sam was about to leave the driveway when she saw a silhouette approaching her out of the dark from up toward the house. As he got closer she could see that it was Aaron. He was in a black t-shirt and jeans and almost camouflaged by darkness.
“What are you doing? I could have run you over.”
“Maybe you should turn on your headlights.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be running around in the dark. What are you doing?”
“I want to go with you.”
She sighed. “Aaron, you know I don’t like you at these races. If we get busted…”
“You’re not going
to get busted. You can outrun them and you know it. Come on Sammy, I’m losing my mind sitting in this house every night.”
“What if Luke needs something?”
“He’s not an invalid…yet,” Aaron said. “You’re making excuses. Would you rather I go out and find my own fun for the evening?”
“Don’t threaten me you little shit.”
“I’m not threatening, Sam. I’m just saying I cannot sit in that house one more night.”
She sighed again. He was right. It’s not fair to expect him to sit there every night. He’s sixteen years old. Until he gets his driver’s license and starts school, Sam should at the very least try to help entertain him. “Fine, but stay way out of the way. I don’t want to have to scrape you off the pavement.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m not five.”
When they got to the address Shawn had given her, most of the team was already there. Beau was sitting on the hood of his car tapping away furiously at the keys of his laptop. Shawn and Drew had their heads underneath the hood of her car and Casey and Stew sat on the curb eating tacos from the taco truck and discussing the most recent episode of The Walking Dead. Samantha thought it was safe to assume that neither one of them were racing tonight.
Aaron followed Sam as she walked over toward Drew’s car. She saw him glance at Casey and not for the first time lately she realized that what he kept telling her was true…he wasn’t five any longer. She still couldn’t resist the urge to protect him.
“She’s too old for you and she has a boyfriend.” Aaron rolled his eyes again but seconds later she caught him smiling at the pretty blonde. Casey smiled back at him. Sam made a mental note to let her new friends know her brother was just a kid and way off limits. “Hey Shawn.”
