“Come on over, baby,” he called, crooking his fingers at her.
An adorable, boyish grin played with the curves of his mouth. His dark hair was mussed, his Stetson having fallen to the wayside long ago, and a wavy strand clung to his brow.
Blushes of pinks and reds from the setting sun glowed around him, painting him and the sprawling fields surrounding them with warmth that filled her chest. The day was just beginning to draw to a close. The top curve of the sun lingered on the edge of the horizon and floated a wave of gentle color around them as night reached out. Most of the guests had gone in for the evening meal, and the grounds were empty save for the small party still cackling behind her.
Cissy couldn’t have imagined a more enjoyable day. The morning had been spent tending to the same routine chores but the temperature had rocketed past ninety-eight by two o’clock, prompting guests to cancel their trail rides and laze by the pool. As a result, Cissy spent the majority of the late Thursday afternoon turning the horses out. This was due, in most part, to Dominic’s insistence. He’d pointed out it was time she and the boys got to know the other end of a horse for a change.
Kayden and Jayden had taken to the task with excitement and had enticed Tammy and Jen out, as well. Colt had turned up later and sparked a competition of hay bale jumping while the horses ran free in the field.
Cissy rose and eased into Dominic’s arms, placing her hands to his chest. The strong breadth of it rose and fell on his soft chuckles. She rubbed her hands in circular motions, absorbing the solid, secure feel of him.
“You’ve got some hay here,” Dominic murmured, reaching down to unwind a straw of it from her hair. The tips of his fingers lingered, smoothing over the strands. “You can tell you’ve been rolling around in it.” His grin stretched into a devilish, dimpled smile. “Too bad it didn’t get there the way I’d have preferred.”
Cissy’s heart skipped and her skin tingled. She bit her lip, casting a cautious glance over her shoulder at the group behind them.
Colt balanced on top of a large stack of hay bales several feet off, taunting the crew scaling their way over to him. Kayden and Jayden clung to Tammy and Jen. The pairs sprung from one stack to the next, shoes slipping on the slick sides and fingers digging into the thick stacks to hold on. Squeals of delight abounded with each successful jump, their attention concentrated on the task at hand.
Satisfied they were otherwise occupied, Cissy turned back to Dominic and rose to her toes, brushing her mouth over the stubble lining his jaw. The rough texture of his five-o’clock shadow and earthy, male scent had her rubbing her cheek against his with a soft sigh.
She nuzzled her nose into Dominic’s tanned throat and smiled against his skin. It had become clear to everyone early on that she wasn’t talented at scaling hay bales. She’d fallen more times than she could count, Dominic’s careful grip preventing her from slamming into the ground on several occasions.
Dominic pulled her closer, folding her in and caressing her back. His throaty murmur vibrated against her smile. “We could always come back out later. Settle on top of one of those bales and count the stars.”
Cissy drew back, contentment streaming through her blood. “Really?”
“Yeah.” His warm palms drifted down to settle on the upper curve of her bottom. “Just us. It’ll be cooler by then.”
Another surge of delight swept through her. Some things would be cooler. But if the pleasurable waves sweeping through her body were any indication, some things wouldn’t.
She felt Dominic’s pull inside her. Right where he’d said he wanted to be. His fingers wrapped firmer around her heartstrings with each passing hour and tugged without pause. He kept pulling her closer and closer until her days began and ended on thoughts of him.
The experience was both scary and exciting.
“I got the farthest this time, Mr. Dominic.” Jayden bounded toward them, his words bursting out in small gasps.
Dominic eased his hold on her and stepped away to scoop Jayden up in his arms and prop him on his hip. “Good deal, Jayden.”
“That’s only because I was helping Miss Jen,” Kayden said. Not to be outdone, he wrapped himself around Dominic’s leg and looked up at him with a grave expression. “If I’d been on my own, I could’ve gone faster. Girls mess up everything.”
Dominic laughed and ruffled his blond hair. “You both went fast enough. Besides, it’s not so bad having a girl around. Matter of fact, I think you would’ve bit the dirt a time or two if Miss Jen hadn’t been looking out for you.”
Kayden mulled that over for a second. “I guess,” he conceded. “Did you know Miss Jen races horses at the rodeo?”
“Yep,” Dominic said. “She’s good.”
“Does she ride the bulls, too?” Jayden asked.
“Course not,” Kayden declared. “Girls can’t ride bulls.”
“Well, now, some can,” Dominic said, setting Jayden down and smiling when he latched on to his free leg. “I’ve seen one ride before.”
“Bet she didn’t stay on long,” Kayden said.
“Nah. But none of us, boy or girl, stay on very long to begin with,” Dominic added.
“I bet Aunt Cissy could do it.” Jayden released Dominic’s leg and darted over to wrap around hers.
Dominic winked. “I tend to agree with you, buddy. I don’t think your Aunt Cissy would have any trouble handling a bull. Matter of fact, she could do just about anything she turned her mind to.”
“I don’t know about that,” Cissy returned. She busied herself with picking hay out of Jayden’s hair and dropping a kiss on his head. “But I’m flattered you think so.”
“When are you gonna ride a bull again, Mr. Dominic?” Kayden asked.
Cissy froze. Leave it to Kayden to get right to it. She and Dominic hadn’t discussed the future in any capacity since that night in her room a couple of weeks ago. She was wary of broaching the subject and suspected Dominic was, too.
She licked her bottom lip and examined Dominic’s expression. He met her eyes briefly before dodging her gaze and detaching Kayden from his leg.
“Soon,” he said. He spun Kayden back toward the hay bales and gently tapped his bottom. “Why don’t you two give the bale jumping another shot? This time without Miss Jen, and see how many you can get across.”
“Okay.” Kayden beckoned over his shoulder. “Come on, Jayden. You count the bales for me and then I’ll do it for you.”
The two took off toward the string of hay bales with a new challenge. The others had wandered off to plop on the ground and rest.
Cissy brushed a bit of grass from her knee. “Colt mentioned there was an event coming up soon.” She picked at the dirt under her fingernails and waited. Stay cool. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Maybe if she eased into it, he wouldn’t feel obligated. “I wasn’t sure if—”
“Aunt Cissy, ask Pop to come count for us, okay, please?” Kayden’s gleeful yell interrupted, forcing Cissy to pull her attention from Dominic.
Pop’s tall figure ambled toward them across the field. He drew closer, his normally relaxed expression holding a note of tension. He halted when he reached them, surveying the boys laughing and jumping bales behind them before facing Cissy with drawn brows. “You expecting someone?”
Cissy tensed. The hum of relaxed enjoyment dwindled. She was expecting someone. But not until tomorrow. It was just like Jason to show up on his own terms.
Shoving her hands into her pockets, she conjured up a tight smile and nodded. “Jason.”
Pop eyed the boys squealing behind her. “The boys’ father?”
“Yeah. I called a few days ago and asked if he could come meet me. I need to settle some things.”
Dominic surveyed her for a moment. “You sure that was a good idea?”
“It has to be done at some point. Might as well be now.”
“Well,” Pop interjected, “he’s waiting in the office with Logan. You best go on up. I’ll take the boys and get ’em fed
. You take your time.” He brushed past them to join the group now clustered around the hay bales.
“Boys,” Cissy called. “I have to go take care of something. Pop’s gonna take you in. Be good for him, all right?”
“Okay, Aunt Cissy,” Jayden hollered back with a wave.
Kayden spared her a quick glance, bouncing on a bale and whooping out, “Sure.”
Cissy moved swiftly across the field. The sun had dipped well below the horizon now, the rosy glow having faded and disappeared. The gradual darkness made it difficult to see the smudged outline of the path she followed back to the main house.
She focused on the porch lights blazing up ahead and tried to fight off the quivers rippling through her belly. The sound of Dominic’s heavy steps falling close behind her brought a sense of comfort while at the same time heightening her anxiety.
Half-afraid he’d continue and half-afraid he’d stop, she said, “You don’t have to come with me, you know.”
“I know.”
The calm tenor of his voice and the finality of his words soothed her nerves. Her chin lifted with renewed determination. She’d see this through to the bitter end. And, thank God, it seemed she was about there.
They arrived sooner than she’d anticipated, the shiny metal of the doorknob twisting smoothly under her hand. She swept the door open and entered the room.
The stale odor of cigarette smoke filled her nostrils. Jason lounged in a chair opposite Logan at the mahogany desk, his long limbs stretched out. His blond hair was mussed and sticking up at odd angles, as though he’d run his hands through it several times.
Jason’s head swiveled, gaze landing on Cissy. His face lifted for a moment, pleasure lighting his eyes and curling his lips. But a moment later, it fell with disappointment.
“Damn. I always forget.” Jason hunched forward, then rose with a frown. He took a deep drag from the cigarette poised between his fingers. Smoke escaped on his rough exhalation and he muttered with a pained sigh, “You look exactly like her.”
Cissy tightened her mouth, ignoring the wobble in her chin. The reminder of what she’d lost hit harder than it ever had before. And it wouldn’t do to fall apart now. No matter how much she missed Crystal.
“It’s good to see you too, Jason,” Cissy whispered, digging deep to find a thread of anger rather than grief.
Jason examined her, his frown deepening. His mouth opened soundlessly before he winced. Without pause, he crossed the room.
Cissy blinked with surprise when his hand cupped the back of her head. He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead and rolled his own against hers. His hand kneaded the back of her neck and he whispered, “Sorry. I just miss her.”
Her vision blurred, eyes flooding. Was this how he’d handled Crystal? With such tenderness? It must be his worry or his grief that brought it on. Cissy had never been privy to this side of him before.
Disconcerted by the drop of her guard, Cissy drew back and disentangled from his touch. It was easier to remember the way he was on a regular basis. Moody. Closed and unapproachable.
“They don’t smoke in here, Jason,” she said, eyeing the cigarette still dangling between his fingers at his side.
He stiffened and shook his head. After taking one more drag, he stubbed it out on the heel of his shoe and dropped it in the trash can. He propped himself on the edge of the desk and crossed one ankle over the other.
“So,” Jason said, spreading his arms, “I’m here. Where are the boys?”
“They’re being taken care of. I didn’t ask you here to get them. I asked you here to talk. I wanted—” Her voice failed her, cracking on the next syllable. She cleared her throat and stated with determination, “I want to talk to you about the adoption.”
Jason shifted. His hands curled over the edge of the desk as he exchanged looks with Dominic and Logan. “Can we have some privacy?”
“This is as private as it’s gonna get,” Dominic said, stepping closer and placing a hand on her shoulder.
Jason’s knuckles turned white. He smiled and asked, “Got yourself some reinforcements, Cissy?”
She slipped from under Dominic’s touch, casting him an apologetic glance.
“There’s no need for reinforcements,” she said. “I’m not trying to force you into anything. I just want you to listen to me. Really listen and try to understand what I’m asking of you.”
Jason’s smile dissolved. He lowered his chin and nodded.
Cissy rubbed her fingertips on the hem of her shorts, then squared her shoulders.
“I’ve thought about what you said and my position hasn’t changed. You can probably guess what I’m going to ask.” She hesitated at his frozen silence before forging ahead. “I don’t want you to sign the boys over for adoption. Instead, I want you to sign them over to me. Permanently.”
The air in the room grew heavy, the smoke lingering and casting a haze around them. Jason’s eyes narrowed and a sneer marked his face. His low words vibrated. “You still trying to take my boys?”
Cissy shook her head. “I’m not taking anything that doesn’t belong to me. They’re my nephews, and I have some say in what happens to them.”
“I’m their father. I have the final say in what happens to them—”
“Their father?” Cissy’s body jerked, her feet stalking forward. “You haven’t been a father to them. You’ve been a sporadic tourist. Popping in and out of their lives whenever it suited you.”
Jason shoved off the desk, glowering down at her. “Don’t start with that shit again, Cissy. We’ve been down that road before. I’ve explained that I wasn’t ready for kids—”
She held up a hand. “I know, I know. You’ve spun the tale before. For God’s sake, I could recite it from memory.” Fury returned, boiling in her blood and spewing from her mouth. “I’m sick to death of it. And so was Crystal. So much so, that she finally came to her senses in the end and begged me to intervene. You have no idea how hard that was for her. She lay on that bed knowing she was dying and had no choice but to admit to herself that you would never pull through for your sons. You can’t possibly imagine how much she suffered over that.”
“Stop it,” he demanded.
“I wish I could. But you weren’t there, Jason.” Her vision blurred. She blinked furiously, forcing back the tears. “You weren’t even there at the end. When she needed you the mos—”
“Stop,” Jason choked, pressing a fist to his mouth and staggering to the window. He dragged his hands through his hair and gripped the back of his neck. “You’re so damned judgmental. So unforgiving.” He jerked back to face her, his voice hoarse. “Did it ever occur to you that it was too hard for me? That it was too much to just sit there and watch her...” He swallowed hard. “Not everyone’s as strong as you, Cissy. I loved her more than I’ve loved anyone in my life but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t watch her day in and day out getting weaker and weaker. Or stay in that hospital. The smell of death everywhere—” His voice broke. “I tried. God knows I tried. But she knew. And she asked me not to come anymore.” His eyes blazed. “And damn you for interfering in what we had. What was private. You had no place in it.”
Heat suffused Cissy’s face. She’d let her prejudice and ill will for him override her compassion. Not once had she given a thought to how difficult Crystal’s illness must have been for him. All else aside, Jason had always been honest about his love for Crystal.
She bit her lip and dropped her head, wishing she could crawl right under the wood planks of the floor and disappear into the dark.
Clearing her throat, she said, “I’m sorry.” She forced herself to meet his eyes and gestured helplessly. “I didn’t know. She never told me. And I’m sure it was as difficult for you as it was for me. I know you loved her,” she added softly. “She never doubted that.”
Jason’s shoulders dropped. He dragged his palms over his face, then muttered, “So spell it out. What exactly are you planning?”
“I’m going to gi
ve them security and a good home. And I’ll make sure they grow up happy and provided for,” she said in a soft voice. “They’ll know they’re wanted.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw.
Cissy continued gently, “You were ready to give them over to someone you didn’t know. Why not give them to me?”
“Why not?” He opened his eyes and smiled sadly. “Because we’re cut from the same cloth. We were born scrapping for every damn thing. Things don’t just happen for people like us.” His lip curled. “And you think you can just step in and make everything good? That my boys would be better off with you? You know enough about how the world works. You and I both know the score.”
Cissy flinched. Jason was so blunt. He never shied away from calling things the way he saw them. She couldn’t fault him for his honesty.
He was right. Nothing had ever come to her easily. She’d had to scrape and scrounge for what little she had. It was a good rule of thumb to keep expectations low. She’d learned to never hope for better. To never trust others. And never take risks.
She’d lived alone. That way no one could disappoint her. And she couldn’t disappoint them.
Jason shoved his hands into his pockets, dragging out a cigarette pack and lighter. His hands trembled and he turned each item over and over in his palms as if seeking something to hold on to.
He looked up at her then. His eyes weak and empty.
Her heart bled for him, her body sagging. That was the choice she faced. An independent life void of complications or obligations. A life of meaningless days and nights with no one to share them and no one to love.
Or a life full of responsibilities and challenges, but at the same time, delightful surprises. Laughter. And more love than she’d ever known.
“You’re right,” Cissy conceded. “I lived like that for a long time. Accepting just what I was given, not expecting anything better. But I no longer want to live like that. I want the boys to have the best. I love them. And I’ll make sure they feel loved. I can take care of them and do right by them. If you’ll give me the chance.”
Twins for the Bull Rider Page 13
