by Jack J. Lee
“My boy, the Jotunn are in our Universe to kill paladins and claim their weapons. If you get mortally wounded, you will need a safe place to send them. I’ve stored them in a secure location. Since it won’t affect how quickly you can access them, it’s best you not know where they are.”
“Does Tim know the location?”
“Only I know.”
Mina came up beside me, a backpack in her arms. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” We walked together into the church and she set the pack down on one of the pews. Other than the lack of windows, Our Lady of Good Counsel was a typical Roman Catholic Church. The front doors opened into a vestibule. Past the second set of doors was one large room filled with pews and high vaulted ceilings. Once her hands were free, Mina took my arm and led me away from the others, saying in a soft voice, “Andi told me and Ben why she poured sugar in our van and planted the listening devices.”
Near the far end of the church, Mina brought me into the shadow of a column and pulled me close, laying her head on my chest. In response, I wrapped her tight in my arms. “Victor, this is so crazy. It feels like we’re in a nightmare. Andi said an angel told her to do it. She’s certain she’s following God’s will. Why would God want to kill us?”
“Did she tell you the angel’s name?”
“Samael.”
It was interesting that an archangel with millions of underlings was willing to do his own dirty work. Was he trying to hide what he was doing from his own people or did he just like doing things himself? Shit, I needed to break myself of the habit of mulling over questions I couldn’t answer. “Mina, Samael probably has been visiting her. You know how if it seems too good to be true, it usually isn’t? An angel’s visit is not necessarily a good thing.”
Mina pulled back so she could see my face. I could see her wonder where I was going. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t just torn up about Andi’s sabotage. Mina believed in a loving God Who personally cared about her. She was a true believer whose faith was being sorely tested. I couldn’t figure out why I knew this, but I was sure she was hurting.
I told her the version of the truth that was least likely to cause her pain. “God has millions, no billions of angels working for him. The idea of billions of intelligent creatures all working in harmony with peace, love, and sugary goodness is too good to be true. There are assholes playing politics everywhere, including Heaven. Samael is the kind that doesn’t mind a few deaths by friendly fire or collateral damage in the service of the greater good.” Mina laid her head back on my chest. I didn’t know if what I said helped, but I’d tried.
I’ve always viewed surprise as a personal failure. Reality in the end is simple; it is what it is. Whenever I’ve been surprised in the past, it has almost always been because I failed to see or correctly interpret what was in front of me. I doubted the existence of God even though I had been raised by nuns and surrounded by people of faith for most of my early life. I’d never been able to believe in an all-powerful and loving god who would allow our imperfect world to exist. Every religious attempt to explain why shit happens always seemed like a cop-out. The answer to my religious question was simple; Jehovah was a nice enough deity—according to B the best in the known Multiverse—who wasn’t the all-powerful God of Mina’s faith.
The most astonishing thing of all was how little I cared about being wrong for so many years. The thing I cared about most was this young girl clasped within my arms. Jehovah, God Almighty had hooked me up with a girl over twenty years younger than me and I was good with it. Fear comes from having something to lose. I’d found something I couldn’t bear to give up.
I focused on her body next to mine. I breathed in the earthy scent of a healthy young woman on a hot July afternoon. I listened to the slow beat of her heart. I felt her hair against my cheek.
Loud, hurried footsteps coming toward us made me look up. Mina pulled back from my arms and self-consciously brushed her hair out of her eyes. It was Father Mallory. “Victor, I have Paladin Samson on the phone.
I took the phone. “Yes.”
“Father Mallory said you’re not feeling the need to go back to Salt Lake City.”
“Yeah, the last time we talked I was. Does that mean they’re headed our way?”
“Yes.”
“So I’m not the first paladin to work around the compulsion to stay in our own area by putting himself to sleep.”
“No.”
“Is this technique common knowledge?”
“Father Mallory said you became a paladin just a few days ago and that you haven’t had any paladin training”
“Yeah.”
“As part of our training, and to avoid making the same mistakes, we learn about the paladins who’ve lost their weapons. There have been two paladins in the past who’ve tried your technique. Putting yourself to sleep to get out of your territory is something that’d be known by anyone who went through paladin training, but it’s unlikely that anyone else would know about it.”
“Would that include Archangels?”
“I know Michael does. I’m not sure about the others. It’d depend on the Archangel.”
“Has anyone else besides the two who lost their weapons used the technique?”
The amusement in Samson’s voice became obvious. “No.”
I pictured myself in Samson’s shoes. If I was a traditionally trained paladin who came across a noob without any training at all, who came running for help using a technique previously used only by losers, how would I react? The fact I understood his attitude didn’t mean I liked it. My voice was dry when I replied, “You want me to be bait.”
He confirmed, “You and your people will be bait.” I could tell he was waiting to see how I’d react. When I didn’t say anything he went on, “The Jotunn will most likely attack tonight. My men will be leaving as soon as we’re done with this conversation. They’ve done what they needed to do. We have the church surrounded and we’re hidden well enough that the Jotunn shouldn’t notice us. After they break through your defenses, they’ll most likely enter through the windows and doors. After they’re all in the church, they’ll be rats in a cage with nowhere to run. We’ll attack then.”
“It’s a good plan but my people don’t need to stay in the church. It’ll work fine with just me in the church. The Jotunn are here for my weapons and armor. Take my people to safety and I’ll stay inside as bait.”
“That won’t work.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“Since our last conversation, we’ve found audio surveillance equipment in my house and two spies for Samael in our Brotherhood. I’ve fed them false information. My first priority is my own people. The only reason to risk their lives against the Jotunn is if they enter our area, or if we have a chance to kill them all.
“I told the spies that it isn’t worth it for us to help you other than to let you fort up just outside our boundaries. I’m sure by now the Jotunn know this intel. Once they come within a couple miles of Our Lady of Good Counsel, they’ll be able to tell if all of you aren’t there. The Jotunn leader is smart and savvy; that’s one of the reasons they’ve survived for so long. They never fight without a clear advantage, and they’ve been able to avoid every trap we’ve set. If anything looks off, there’s a good chance they won’t take our bait. The only reason I’m optimistic we’ll be able to trap them this time is because the church is outside my territory in no man’s land, and because of the disinformation we’ve fed them.”
Samson wasn’t making any sense. “If this is outside your territory, how did your men get here and how are you planning on getting here? The Jotunn want my gear. If I’m inside by myself, there’s no reason for them to get skittish.”
Exasperation crept into Samson’s voice. “Victor, your remaining Oath Brothers don’t have the ability to abandon you. If they’re not inside the church, they have to be outside helping with the ambush. Territorial compulsions don’t apply in times of great crisis or opportunity; the chance of de
stroying the Jotunn war band counts as an opportunity. Father Mallory and his apprentices were able to leave Boise because their job was to turn Our Lady of Good Counsel into a cage that’s easy for the Jotunn to enter but difficult to leave.”
“I understand your position, Bill but your plan doesn’t work for me.” I forced myself to lower my voice, to keep my tone reasonable as I said, “I’ll get my people and drive into Boise, if that’s what it takes to get your help.”
I expected Samson to lose it. When he spoke he didn’t sound angry or even exasperated, his voice was filled with pity, “Man, you really don’t know much about anything. We paladins are designed to be territorial. You and your people need my permission to enter Boise, and I’m not giving it to you. If you try to go back to sleep and have Paul Swenson’s kids drive you and your Brothers into Boise, we’ll disable your van from a distance.” The tone of his voice changed. It sounded like he was trying to give me an order. “Victor, you have to do this my way. This is too good of an opportunity to let you screw it up. It’s either that, or the false information I gave to our traitors won’t be false. I’m sorry, but you and your people are walking dead. You can choose to die uselessly, or you can help us destroy the minions that have already killed two paladins and hundreds of Oath Brothers.”
“Bill, you do what you have to do. I expect I’ll do the same.”
I heard a weary sigh. “So, it’s going to be like that?” His voice became quiet. “It’s a damn shame.” He hung up.
I handed the phone back to Father Mallory. He couldn’t meet my eyes. He turned and walked out of the church. Without a word, his apprentices followed him. During my conversation with Samson, I’d tried to keep my voice under control. I hadn’t been all that successful. I may not have been shouting but my voice had gotten pretty loud. Aidan, Tim, Ben, and Andi had gathered close around Mina and me.
Ben spoke first, “What’s going on?”
“Samson wants to use us as bait. We’re supposed to lure the Jotunn into this church, and when they all get inside, he and his men are going to attack.”
Ben asked like he already knew the answer. “There’s a way out of here, a secret passage, right?”
“No, the assumption is we’re all going to die.”
Andi broke in, “It’s going to be okay, my angel will protect us.”
I had to laugh. “That’ll be our backup plan.”
Mina put her hand on my shoulder, “Victor, you’re not going to let us be bait.”
“No.”
She asked, “So, what’s Samson going to do?”
“Nothing, we’re on our own.”
I put my hand up to cover my mouth when I heard her say, “Asshole.” Mina hadn’t meant to be overheard. I hadn’t told her about my super sense. It was a half-assed version of reading her mind but if we survived the night, I could see how it could be useful in a relationship.
Andi’s eyes got big. She tilted her head back, closed her eyes, threw her arms up, and with open hands raised to the vaulted ceilings, called out to her angel. “SAMAEL! SAMAEL! We need you.” Her screams got my mind back on track. Mina rushed to her sister’s side. Ben stared at Andi like she was going insane. I saw curiosity in Aidan’s and Tim’s eyes. They were wondering if he would show up, too.
“SAMAEL!” Andi now had tears in her eyes. “I need you!”
We waited. Seconds turned to minutes. When Mina wrapped her arms around her, Andi collapsed. “He’s my angel. I did what he asked. Why isn’t he coming?”
“It’s okay, Baby Sis. It’s going to be okay.”
Ben moved toward his two sisters and awkwardly starting patting Andi on the back.
I made eye contact with Tim and Aidan and gestured with my head for them to follow me. Once we got out of easy hearing distance, Tim quietly said, “I was really hoping Samael would show up.”
“So was I. It would have been nice, but we need to focus on the here and now. What do you guys know about paladin compulsions?”
Tim shrugged, “Not much, I always assumed they were pretty much the same as the ones Oath Brothers have—the basic Ten Commandments and laws listed in Leviticus minus brit milah and the dietary restrictions.” He must have misread my expression because he continued, “Brit milah is Hebrew; bris is Yiddish for the Jewish ceremony where a boy is circumcised eight days after he’s born.” He gave an amazingly goofy giggle which even for him took some doing. “Victor, you’re a little past the due date of eight days if you know what I mean. The dietary restrictions got revoked when Christ died for us. Jesus not only saved our souls, he gave us pork and lobster.”
Aidan affectionately put his hand on his apprentice’s shoulder, “Tim, that’s not what Victor wants to know.” He turned to me. “I can only tell you what I’ve observed over the last few hundred years, which is not much. None of the paladins I have worked with ever talked about their rules. A compulsion is often a weakness. Why would they want their weakness publicized? A paladin’s highest priority is to defend his territory. His second is to protect Jehovah’s gifts; the weapons and armor given to him by God. The first priority often places the second in danger. That’s how paladins lose their lives and their gifts. I’ve gathered from your half of the conversation with Bill Samson that paladins also need permission to enter each other’s territories. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know.”
“We don’t have the obligation to help each other?”
The leprechaun shook his head, “I don’t know if it is policy or pride, but until you did it today, I have never known a paladin to ask for or receive help from another paladin. Victor, what are we going to do?”
“I’ll tell you after I call Samson again.”
The Boise Paladin picked up on the first ring. “You change your mind?”
“Depends on how you answer my questions.”
Samson’s grunt sounded amused. “Ask away.”
“I’m going to make the Jotunn an offer they can’t refuse.” I watched Tim and Aidan’s expressions as I talked to the Boise Paladin. Tim got the reference; I saw blank incomprehension in Aidan’s eyes. “Here’s what I’ll offer. In return for leaving the rest my people alone, I will fight them, one-by-one in single combat, until I kill them all or until I’m defeated. If they kill me outright, they get the gifts anyway. If I’m too wounded to fight, I won’t send God’s gifts to safety. I’ll put myself to sleep and let them take my gifts.”
“WHAT!”
Samson’s response was my answer. When Samson and I earlier had discussed the two paladins who had lost their gifts, I’d felt sick to my stomach. Just now, when I had threatened to bargain away my gifts, it took everything I had to prevent myself from puking. Every gift was Jehovah’s will manifested; all paladins were compelled to protect them. I could force Samson to help us by putting my gifts at risk.
“Did you know I have four gifts? I’ve regained…” Crap, what his name? Oh yeah, “I recaptured Roland Fare’s gifts from a Red Cap. I’m wondering if you’re going to sit all safe and comfy in Boise while I hand four of Jehovah’s gifts to the Jotunn.”
For the first time I heard anger in Samson’s voice. He wasn’t the kind that got hot. His voice was stone cold. “I won’t be coming for the Jotunn. I’ll be coming for you.”
I carefully covered the phone’s mouth piece and vomited on the floor beside me; it was possible Samson hadn’t heard me. I spit to clear my mouth. “Whatever gets your ass moving. You can come up now and try to deal with me before the Jotunn get here, or you can wait until all the Jotunn are focused on me and try to ambush them. Last we talked, you were all about not wasting opportunities.” I hung up and puked up everything I had left in my stomach.
Aidan looked stunned. Tim stuttered, “Victor…”
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Save the condolences. I’m not planning on dying. We have a few hours until darkness. I need you guys to help me prepare some surprises for the Jotunn.”
Aidan put hi
s hand on my arm. “Victor, there has to be another way.”
I knew he meant well, but I didn’t have time to try to convince him. Running wasn’t an option; where would we run to? Having the Swensons drive us from city to city while we were asleep wasn’t a long term proposition. If I was going to die, I would die on my terms—a wolf at bay, not a rabbit on the run. “How’s this work, our relationship as paladin and Oath Brother? Are we friends, colleagues, or is this like the army where one has rank over the other?”
Aidan let his hand drop from my arm. He looked hurt. His brogue was strong when he replied, “It is a feudal based system. Tis yourself who is my liege; I am compelled to follow your orders.”
“I’ve made my decision. I need you to support me.” I stared into his eyes until he nodded his head. “Back when I was a kid, I read a book about Norse Myths. They used magic offensively but mostly in terms of curses that took affect slowly over time. In those myths, when the Norse fought, even gods like Loki used weapons. There was nothing about them throwing fireballs or lightning bolts. They had magic weapons like Thor’s hammer, but they didn’t actually cast spells in combat. Were those stories accurate? Will the Jotunn use magic in a fight?”
“Lightning bolts and fireballs take awful amounts of energy and are fairly easy to defend against; I doubt if they’d try those kinds of spells. You can expect the Jotunn to cast healing spells and if things go badly for them, they will likely change shape to escape.”
“If I’m going to fight them, I’m going to need every advantage I can get.” I went over to my gear bag and pulled out a Taser C2. I pointed at the canister attached to the Taser. “This is pepper spray. I know from experience it will blind a Jotunn, and the Taser is effective against them too. I can use the Taser as is, but it’d be helpful if it could be hidden in my armor until I needed it.” I handed the Taser to Aidan. “I’ve got another in my bag.”
I grabbed my bang stick next. Tim almost bounced with excitement. “I know what that is. It’s a bang stick! It’s a pressure activated shotgun shell used by divers to kill sharks. They push the stick onto the shark and ‘boom,’ it blows a two foot hole into the shark”
