She flips to channel four, tosses the remote on the bedside table, and begins hurriedly pulling the sheets and blankets up, smoothing them, then putting on the cream-and-rose-colored quilt with its double wedding-ring pattern. Joel bought it for her during a weekend trip to Pennsylvania Dutch Country the first year they were married. Every time she looks at it, she remembers how shocked she was when he picked it out.
“It’s pink,” she said, running her hands over the hand-stitched pattern.
“I know. You love pink.”
“But you don’t.”
“It’s okay. I love you,” he said, brushing her hair with his lips.
On television, Matt Lauer and Katie Couric are discussing upcoming segments and Ann Curry is about to do the news. That means the weather report won’t be on for a few more minutes. Tasha reaches over and presses the mute button on the remote so that she can hear what’s going on downstairs.
So far, silence, except for the faint drone of Hunter’s cartoon. She left Max sitting in his Exersaucer with several toys. Victoria seemed occupied with her Blue’s Clues coloring book, seated at a small table on the other side of the room.
But what if the minute Tasha left the room, Victoria decided to stir up some trouble with Max? Hunter is usually pretty good at keeping an eye on things, but not when the television is on.
Tasha tosses the heart-shaped throw pillows into place on the bed and hurries out into the hallway, leaning over the bannister. “What’s going on down there?”
Silence.
“Hunter?”
“What, Mommy?”
“Is everything all right down there?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What’s Max doing?”
“Eating his rattle.”
“What’s Victoria doing?”
“Coloring.”
“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute. Hold down the fort, okay, buddy?”
“What fort?” comes the reply.
She smiles. Hunter takes everything literally.
“Just keep an eye on things, okay, Hunter?”
She hurries back into the master bedroom, picking up Joel’s pajama bottoms and T-shirt that are strewn on the floor by the closet. She puts them in the hamper in the blue-and-white-tiled master bathroom. It, too, is overflowing with laundry. She meant to get to it yesterday, but somehow the day flew by without completion of any of the tasks she hoped to accomplish. As usual.
Back in the bedroom, she opens the ivory pleated shade on the window opposite the bed and glances out. The sky is a milky, overcast shade of gray that looks more March than October.
The white-paned window overlooks the large, shady side yard bordered by a hedge of tall rhododendron bushes. They’ve been ravaged by the deer that frequently wander out of the woods that border the back of the property. Tasha’s glance takes in the bright patches of chrysanthemums in full bloom in her flower garden, the expensive wooden swing set she and Joel bought for the kids after he got his last promotion, the new green Ford Expedition parked at the edge of the driveway.
And there, in the far corner of the yard, is the kids’ vegetable garden. The deer have long since devoured the last of the tomatoes and beans, but the crowning glory remains: a giant pumpkin Hunter and Victoria grew from seed. After months of carefully tending their prize, which Tasha has kept protected with yards of deer-proof netting, the kids are planning to enter it in the pumpkin contest at the town’s annual autumn festival this weekend.
The view from the master bedroom also includes two other houses visible through the trees, both of them center-hall colonials like this one. The one occupied by the Bankses’ next-door neighbors, the Martins, is white with black shutters. So is the other, which belongs to the Leibermans across the street. The Banks home, however, is white with green shutters.
“Come on, Joel, let’s live on the edge,” Tasha had urged him in Home Depot on that Sunday afternoon two summers ago as he wondered, with characteristic caution, if they should go with green or stick with black when they repainted the house. “Let’s dare to be different.” She had picked up a paint brush and tickled his nose with the bristles. “Let’s push the envelope and go with green.”
“You’re making fun of me, Tash,” he accused.
“So? You made fun of me when I polished off the entire carton of Ben and Jerry’s last night,” she pointed out, poking him in the arm.
“Only because you looked so ridiculous, resting it on your belly and shoveling it in like you hadn’t eaten in months.”
“I’m pregnant,” she said, adding her familiar “I’m eating for two.”
“Two what?” came his usual reply, and she laughed with him.
God, it seems like ages since we’ve teased each other that way, Tasha thinks now, turning away from the window. Joel is always so distant, wrapped up in work these days. And she’s so . . .
What?
Busy?
Of course. Three kids keep a person busy. But that’s not all she is. No, not just busy. More like . . . restless.
She sighs and glances at the television screen again. Al Roker is finally on, doing the weather. She turns up the volume and learns that the sun is going to shine later on and the high today is going to be in the mid-to-upper fifties. Not great, but not bad, either, for mid-October in the Northeast.
She opens a bureau drawer, notes that it’s nearly empty, and reminds herself that she really has to do the laundry.
She takes out a pair of Levi’s that she hasn’t worn in a while and puts them on, frowning when the zipper doesn’t glide up as easily as it should. It’s been almost a year since she had Max. Another few weeks and this tummy won’t officially be considered baby weight anymore—at least, not by her standards.
With Hunter, she gained thirty pounds and lost it all six months after he was born. With Victoria she gained forty pounds and it took her almost a year to lose it. But even then she got back into her favorite faded jeans and skimpy sun dresses, though nothing fit exactly as it used to.
This time, though, she gained fifty-five pounds, and she’s still carrying ten of them. Not that she’s been consciously trying to diet. And with three kids, who has time to exercise?
Of course, she didn’t diet or exercise the other two times, either. The weight just seemed to come off.
They were living in the city when she had Hunter, and she used to walk the twenty-five blocks down Third Avenue every morning to the publishing house where she was an executive editor acquiring mass-market fiction. She was so busy with her workload that when she actually had time for lunch, she usually just grabbed a banana or a cup of low-fat yogurt from the deli on the corner.
By the time Victoria came along, they had moved up here to Townsend Heights. She hadn’t gone back to work that time—it didn’t make sense. Her salary would barely make up for the cost of putting two children into day care or hiring a nanny at Westchester County’s sky-high rates. Joel was steadily climbing the ladder at his company and would soon make up for what they would lose financially if Tasha quit.
So she became a stay-at-home mom. Gladly.
She was so happy then, so incredibly busy and fulfilled with a newborn and a toddler, and with the house. The place seemed like a mansion after their cramped city apartment. Now that the passage of time has diminished the novelty, it certainly isn’t anything spectacular—particularly not to Tasha, who grew up in a big Victorian in Centerbrook, Ohio. Her childhood home, where her widowed mother still lives, is filled with angular little nooks, pocket doors, ornate moldings, curved archways, and leaded stained-glass windows.
The layout of the Bankses’ colonial is nearly identical to the other homes on Orchard Lane. The rooms, windows, and doors are all simple rectangles. On the first floor, the front door opens onto a ceramic-tiled small center hall with a living room on the right and a dining room on the left.
A staircase leads straight up to the second floor, and tucked beneath it is a small half bath. Along the back of the house is an open kitchen-family-room space with a fireplace at one end and sliding glass doors leading out to a deck. On the second floor, three small bedrooms, a linen closet, and a bathroom open off a short hallway running along one side of the house, with a master bedroom and connecting bath at the far end.
No, it’s nothing like the home where Tasha grew up. It doesn’t have inherent character. But she has done her best to give it a personality, to claim it as her own. She wallpapered and painted most of the rooms herself and sewed the cheerful curtains in the kids’ bedrooms.
How she loved those days. How grateful she was to be bustling around her cozy little place in the suburbs, taking care of her children and feathering the nest instead of commuting to the city, dealing with office politics, a corporate wardrobe, business travel . . .
She willingly gave all of that up.
But now . . .
Well, now she can’t help wondering if that was a mistake. If it would really be so bad to get dressed in real clothes in the morning, to put on makeup and fix her hair, to dash out the door and hop a train to the city. On the train, she could read the paper and sip a cup of coffee without constantly being interrupted to change the station on the television, refill a cereal bowl with more Cheerios, change a smelly diaper . . .
The grass is always greener, Tash.
That’s what Joel told her not so long ago, when she made the mistake of wondering aloud what it would be like to go back to work.
“You don’t want to go back to work, Tasha. Trust me. You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with a career anymore.”
“I know, Joel, but—”
“Look, I’d love to be you. I’d give anything to spend my days here at home instead of chasing down to Manhattan and dealing with constant stress every day.”
Stress.
Seems like it’s all he ever talks about—the stress of working in the same high-powered advertising agency where he started his career. He was an account coordinator then and climbed steadily to account executive, then account supervisor. Then he was promoted to vice president last spring and took over a new snack-foods client in addition to the big cosmetics client he already handled. Ever since, he’s been completely distracted by his work. He keeps saying he has to earn the big raise they’ve given him. Apparently that means working late almost every night, bringing home paperwork, even going in to the office some weekends.
And he’s been traveling more on business, too. Next weekend he’s flying to Chicago on Sunday for a Monday-morning meeting. Tasha is dreading that, as she always dreads his trips. She just doesn’t like being in the house at night without Joel. He says it’s because she’s never lived alone. She went from her parents’ house to a college dorm with a roommate to a Manhattan apartment with too many roommates—four women crammed into a small one-bedroom place. They were all in lowly entry-level publishing jobs, so it was either share a tight space in a terrific Village neighborhood or move to one of the boroughs—or worse, to Jersey. It wasn’t so bad, really; there was always somebody home if you felt like hanging out or talking. And even if you didn’t, well, there was always somebody home. So you were never alone at night.
Tasha met Joel at a pub, dispelling the platitude about nice girls not meeting worthwhile guys in bars. He was with a crowd of his friends—cute, available advertising men in suits—and she was with a crowd of hers: pretty, preppy publishing women, some in pearls, others with triple piercings. Publishing, after all, attracted an eclectic bunch.
It wasn’t love at first sight—not even lust. She hadn’t been looking for a corporate type back then. She’d been more drawn to unconventional men with shaggy hair and commitment issues: musicians, sculptors. But then there was Joel, appealing, with a great sense of humor. It was what she first noticed about him that first night as her friends and his mingled and went from the pub to a club. It was why she said yes in surprise when he asked her out. She hadn’t even known he was interested, but that’s the thing about Joel. He’s subtle.
Lately she’s concluded that it’s one of his more serious faults. Half the time she can’t tell if he’s detached because of work, or if their marriage has hit a rough spot.
And maybe she’s afraid to come right out and ask.
In any case, there has been little hilarity in the Banks household these days. Joel’s wit seems to have gone the way of her corporate wardrobe.
Tasha pulls a gray sweatshirt over her head, then shakes her still-damp shoulder-length dark hair and glances into the mirror above her wide oak bureau.
Her hair would look so much better if she could just blow it dry in the morning, but there’s no way. Most days it’s a miracle she manages to take a shower at all. That means getting up before Joel leaves so that he can keep an eye on the kids before he dashes off to the Metro North station. He’s always pacing around, checking his watch, banging on the bathroom door to tell her to hurry up, he’s going to miss his train.
As if she were in there taking a long, leisurely soak in the tub.
Ha.
She hasn’t shaved her legs since last weekend. Hell, using conditioner in addition to regular shampoo is a luxury these days.
Take the time to dry her hair into an actual style? Not a chance.
At the sudden ringing of the telephone, she glances at the clock on the bedside table. It’s too early for Joel to be calling from the office—he’s still on the train. And though he has his cell phone with him, she can’t imagine why he would use it to call home when he just left.
Who is it, then? Nobody ever calls until after nine, when she’s back from dropping off Hunter at school.
Frowning, she grabs the receiver, poking her foot into a sneaker and bending to tie it as she says, “Hello?”
“Tasha?”
“Rach?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“What’s the matter?” she asks, hearing the edge in her friend’s voice. She straightens and glances out the window again at Rachel Leiberman’s house across the street, half expecting some visual sign of whatever it is that’s amiss.
“Did you see this morning’s Journal News yet?”
“Are you kidding? It’s probably still out on the driveway. I never have a chance to read the paper in the morning. I’m lucky if I get to—”
“So you haven’t heard?”
“Heard what?”
“It was on The Today Show, too—”
“I’m watching The Today Show.” She glances at the television screen, where Al Roker is interviewing some exuberant ruddy-cheeked woman who’s waving a hand-lettered sign that reads
“HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BIG DADDY AND MAMA LULU IN SLIDELL, LOUISIANA”
“It was just on the newscast.”
“I didn’t see that part. What was on? What happened?”
“You know Jane Kendall?”
“Jane Kendall . . .” The name is familiar but it takes her a moment to place it. Then she remembers. “Jane from Gymboree?”
“Right”
“What about her?”
“She’s missing.”
“What do you mean, missing?”
“She never came back from jogging over at High Ridge Park last night. See, I told you she must work out to have that body, didn’t I? Nobody who’s got an eight-month-old just looks like that by accident.”
“But what happened?” Tasha asks impatiently, putting on her other sneaker.
“Nobody knows. She went out for a jog with her daughter in one of those jogging stroller thingies and she never came home. Somebody found—hang on a second. Noah! Get your fingers out of there before you get electrocuted! Sorry. Somebody found the baby abandoned in a stroller in the park after dark.”
“God.”
“I know.”
<
br /> “What about the husband?”
“Owen? He’s the one who reported her missing.”
“You know his name?”
“Who doesn’t? I’ve told you she was married to him, remember? He’s one of the Kendall family that has the vacuum cleaners—you know. . . .”
No, Tasha doesn’t know. She’s new to the world of suburban blue bloods, unlike Rachel, who grew up in Westchester.
“Well anyway, the Kendalls have big, big bucks. I went to school with one of Owen’s cousins. Dillard Kendall. He was a jackass. She’s an Armstrong.”
“Jane is?” Tasha is used to the dizzying pace of Rachel’s aside-filled conversations.
“Yup. The Armstrongs practically founded Scarsdale. Blue blood, old money. Real Westchester money. Not like you or me.”
“Speak for yourself, Rach,” Tasha says wryly. “We pretty much have no money these days, real or not.”
“I thought Joel got a big raise.”
“Yeah, but we also have a new car payment remember? The Honda died the month after his promotion. Plus, we needed to put a new roof on the house and replace the hot-water heater—”
“Okay, okay, so you guys are broke. The point is, we all are, compared to the Armstrongs and the Kendalls. Jane’s family was wealthy. And her in-laws are loaded. That’s why her disappearance is such huge news.”
“Was she kidnapped, then, for a ransom or something?”
The idea seems bizarre. Does that type of thing really happen?
“Nobody knows. It’s so ‘Movie-of-the-Week,’ isn’t it? They’re offering a million-dollar reward for—hang on a second. Mara! Let go of his nose right now! Can’t you see he doesn’t like that?”
“Listen, Rachel, let me call you back later,” Tasha says hurriedly, remembering that her own brood is still unattended in the family room. “I’m not on the cordless, and the kids are suspiciously quiet downstairs.”
“Go,” Rachel says with the instant understanding of a fellow mommy. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Tasha hangs up, turns off the television set, and heads for the stairs.
Tasha has known Jane Kendall since the week after Labor Day, which is when Tasha and Rachel started going to a Gymboree play group two mornings a week in nearby Mount Kisco. The purpose is supposedly for the kids to socialize with each other and to bond with their mothers, but it seems to Tasha that the mothers—most of them stay-at-home moms—are the ones who are desperate to socialize and bond with other adults. She and Rachel have met several women through the group, and a bunch of them have taken to having coffee together at Starbucks afterward.
The Last to Know Page 2
