‘Why would I judge her? She knows about me and Jasper.’
‘But it’s still so new for you both.’ She sighed. ‘Those wonderful heady days of first getting to know your own sexuality with someone you love and trust. What a time of life to be living.’
‘You don’t have one person in particular?’ I asked, hoping I wasn’t overstepping her privacy.
‘I’m not made that way,’ she said. ‘I like a broader circle of lovers and playmates. We each bring something different to each other and that’s the way we like it.’
‘I don’t think I’m secure enough for that.’
‘Oh, I wasn’t, not to start with. It’s something you can learn, if you really want to. But you seem very happy with Jasper and he with you, so …’
‘I wish I knew it would last,’ I blurted, before the thought was fully formed.
‘Don’t you think it will?’
‘I want it to. I really want it to.’
‘I think he does too.’
She touched my hand, just at the moment Jasper and Dimitri broke off their conversation and looked around to bring us into the circle.
‘Are my ears burning?’ asked Jasper lightly.
‘Not as much as Rosie’s ass,’ said Dimitri with a great burst of laughter.
Poor Rosie smacked his chest and pretended to push him away, but he just pulled her in tighter and tipped up her chin for a ravenous kiss.
It made me smile, and I dismissed my insecurities for the rest of the evening.
Chapter Seven
We were tired by the time we went to bed and Jasper and I fell asleep without talking about what had passed earlier.
I woke before him and sat up, watching his peaceful face, his trembling eyelids, the strong arm that held me and punished me in equal measure slung over the duvet. I couldn’t love him more than I did.
I put my hand to the collar that I wore even in bed.
Perhaps I should wake him and tell him so.
My intentions were interrupted, though, by the creak and clatter of the back garden door. I got up and went over to the window, curious to know who might be going out at this hour. It was not yet eight o’clock and the dark still hung about the snow-laden trees, casting a greyness over the blanketed ground.
A heavily coated and booted figure stepped out and walked towards the formal garden. Not Dimitri – too short. Rosie or Trix.
After a few steps, she turned to look back at the house. It was Rosie. Where was she going?
I decided to go after her. I could do with a private catch-up with her, minus all the other people in the house. I pulled on jeans, jumper and thick socks and pattered out on to the landing and down the stairs.
Wellies, winter coat, gloves and a hat later, I followed Rosie out into the grounds. It took me a little while to find her, but I tracked her footprints into the trees and found her eventually, bending over in her big furry coat scooping up handfuls of snow which she then … what the hell was she doing?
‘Rosie,’ I called out.
She whipped around like a person caught committing a crime, her cheeks stung with more than the cold.
‘Oh, God. Sarah.’ Her breath gushed out in a stream of steam. ‘It’s you.’
‘Yes. I saw you come out and thought we could have a chat in private. But … am I interrupting something?’
She moved her hand away from the inside of her coat, which was unbuttoned. Underneath it, I saw with a shock, she was wearing only a set of very revealing underwear. And inside the cups of her bra, snow was melting around her nipples, rendering the fabric translucent. God, that must be painful. And freezing.
‘Just a little, uh, game,’ she said. ‘Shit. Thought everyone was asleep.’
‘I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to spy on you. But I have to ask …’
She sat down on a stump and drew her coat close around her.
‘Don’t you and Jasper play little games like this?’ she asked. ‘With a house and grounds like this, the possibilities are endless, I should think.’
‘Oh, we get up to all sorts,’ I assured her, perching myself next to her. ‘I don’t think snow has ever been involved, though. Yet. So Dimitri …?’
‘He said I should get a taste of what life was like for him in Moscow,’ said Rosie with a giggle. ‘He said he was freezing his tits off most of the time and I should experience it for myself. He said it would bring us closer together.’
I laughed. ‘He’s a character, isn’t he? What he actually wanted to do was get you to put snow in your bra, end of story.’
‘Yes. Not just my bra either …’ She squirmed on the stump, inhaling sharply.
‘Probably might have felt nice last night though. On your …’
‘Yes.’
We basked, in a shivery kind of way, in the memory.
‘You’re very happy with Dimitri,’ I said, and it wasn’t a question.
‘Oh, yes.’
‘He is gorgeous,’ I said, and she hugged herself tighter into her coat. ‘Very sexy.’
‘He’s the man I would have dreamed of, if I’d had the imagination,’ she said. ‘But I would never have thought he could exist, even if I had.’
‘That’s lovely. What a piece of luck that you met the way you did.’
‘I know. It’s crazy. We could so easily have missed each other.’
‘I’d say the same for Jasper and me, but it wouldn’t be true.’
‘No,’ she exclaimed, her eyes wide as she grinned at me. ‘Because he actually sought you out. That’s just … wow.’
I shook my head. ‘I still find it hard to believe. This internationally acclaimed, famous man read my silly article in a silly academic journal and went about casting his net for me.’
‘It’s like a fantasy come true,’ said Rosie. ‘He kidnapped you into his lair.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t go that far. He offered me a job and I accepted.’
‘Yes, but he had designs on you!’
‘He had a vague idea that we might be compatible, Rosie. The rest just sorted itself out.’
Her teeth chattered.
‘Shouldn’t we go inside? I’ll get the kitchen range fired up and we can have a cup of tea.’
‘I’d love to but Dimitri’s going to come and find me in a minute.’
‘Is he?’
‘Yeah. We’re playing a kind of hide-and-seek thing.’
‘Oh, God. Maybe we should keep moving then? Go further into the wood.’
Rosie jumped up, stamped her feet and clapped her gloved hands.
‘Might stop us freezing into statues,’ she said. ‘Let’s jog for a bit.’
We tramped through the trees until we needed to stop for breath. It was daylight now, not that you’d have known it. The iron-coloured clouds lay low, casting a permanent dusk over the estate.
‘It’s funny,’ I said, as we doubled over, panting out great puffs of steam. ‘We’re both this way, and yet neither of us ever mentioned it to each other.’
‘I thought you’d judge me,’ said Rosie. ‘Besides, it was just a fantasy then. I didn’t think it would ever go beyond that.’
‘Well, I did my research into old-school sex toys,’ I said. ‘But I used to make out it was just scholarly interest. I was always worried people would guess it was more.’
‘I didn’t guess,’ said Rosie. ‘I read your article though.’
‘You and Jasper both.’
‘You’re so well suited,’ she said for the second time.
‘Do you think so?’
‘God, yes. The way he looks at you!’
I sighed. ‘I wonder if I’m right for him, though.’
‘Oh, why?’ She sounded almost distraught. ‘Of course you are.’
‘What you did last night, for Dimitri – I could never do that.’
‘Oh, but that’s just the way things happened for us,’ she said. ‘The very first time he spanked me, it was in front of other people. And I’d only known him a day. You a
nd Jasper, on the other hand, are used to your privacy. Except that all went a bit wrong when you got papped at that party. All the same … some of us are more exhibitionist than others. And Dimitri is a lot exhibitionist.’ She laughed.
‘Yes, but so is Jasper, at heart, I think. I mean, he was an actor before he started making films. He likes to perform. He’s very perfectionist about it, actually. So much attention to detail, it’s almost exhausting to behold.’
‘But now he’s a director, and that suits him. He can put his vision out there, but he doesn’t have to let it interfere with his private life.’
‘He wants me to be in the film, though.’
‘And you don’t want to?’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. If I’m caught up enough in the moment, it’s easy, but I think knowing it’s for public consumption will make me too self-conscious. I won’t be able to lose myself in it. It won’t be the same.’
‘Well, it’s Trix who’ll be providing the bum shots. So you don’t need to worry about that.’
‘Yeah, no, I know, it’s just …’
I ran out of steam, figuratively, although it still poured into the icy air.
‘He asked me to marry him.’
Rosie inhaled sharply then squealed, ‘Oh, my God!’
‘Don’t! I mean, I haven’t said yes. I can’t seem to … I love him but I can’t seem to …’
‘Sarah,’ she said eagerly, but whatever words of wisdom she was about to impart were driven back inside her by the sound of rustling and snapping some distance away. She pricked up her ears. ‘Is that Dimitri? Quick. Let’s get out of here.’
Suppressing our urges to laugh and whoop, we beat a hasty path through the trees, relying on their coniferous coverage to conceal us from our pursuer.
I was more warmly dressed than Rosie, but she was faster, darting ahead of me like a character in one of those speeded-up Benny Hill sequences. I had the distinct feeling I was in one of them as we pelted round and round the woods. We only needed the saxophone music.
It was heart-poundingly exciting, though, and I found myself wishing Jasper was hunting me as assiduously as Dimitri seemed to be chasing Rosie.
We were breathless and tired, our cheeks stinging and eyes shining, when Dimitri stepped out in front of us with an arrogant flourish and made an easy lunge for Rosie.
‘Oh, so my little doe has a friend?’ he said, smiling widely at me beneath the fulsome brush of his moustache. ‘Well, I am only hunting this one today but perhaps if you go back to the house you will find somebody looking for you.’
‘Is Jasper looking for me?’
‘He is in the kitchen, I think, making a breakfast. He wonders where you have gone.’
‘Aren’t you going to help me?’ pleaded Rosie as I turned to leave, but I don’t think she really wanted my help. And the shrieks of laughter and pretend-outrage that followed me through the wood confirmed my suspicions.
Lucky Rosie, I thought, seeing the house in sight, the kitchen windows flooded with light. I felt nervous at the prospect of seeing Jasper. She has no doubts. I wondered what she had been about to say before we were interrupted by the stalking Dimitri. She seemed more confident about my relationship than I was myself. Was this a good sign?
The back kitchen door opened as I strode through inches-deep snow and Jasper stood, illuminated in it, dressed for the outdoors. Perhaps he hadn’t been making breakfast after all, unless he felt the need to grill bacon in a padded ski jacket and sheepskin-lined boots. I came close enough to hear him call to me through the snow-muffled air.
‘Where have you been?’
‘Just went for a walk, that’s all.’
‘I woke up to an empty bed. I was worried.’
‘I saw Rosie out here and thought I’d like to chat to her.’
‘Ah. OK. But Dimitri was looking for her.’
‘I think he found her.’
A high-pitched yelp travelled high over the fir trees.
Jasper smiled. ‘So it seems. Aren’t you cold?’
‘Yes, I am a bit.’
He stepped down into the back yard and scooped a handful of snow into his gloved hand.
‘Well, I’m sorry, love, but you’re about to get a whole lot colder.’
I gauged his intention just as he packed the snow into a perfect sphere.
‘No way!’ I cried, and tried to get out of his line of fire, but I stood no chance. The snowball hit me square on my shoulder, and chunks of it splintered off and flew through the air.
‘Right,’ I said under my breath, bending to retaliate.
We ducked and dodged around the kitchen garden and beyond, fully engaged in battle. Jasper hit me more than I managed to hit him, but I landed one on the side of his head and another good one on his chest. Before too long, my coat and gloves were freezing wet and heavy, and ice was trickling down the back of my neck.
I wanted to call truce, but it was a matter of pride. And besides, he was getting closer and closer. In no time at all he would be able to take hold of me and claim ultimate victory.
I backed out of the kitchen garden in a panic, but he had me now and I surrendered to the inevitable when he pounced and got my wrist in a tight hold.
‘Ha,’ he cried with a triumphant laugh. ‘Now you’re for it. Think you can pelt snowballs at me and get away with it?’
‘I never thought anything of the kind,’ I said, putting up a fake fight, happy in the knowledge that I would fail. ‘You never let me get away with anything.’
‘No, and nor should I,’ he said. He got me in a tighter hold and spent a few moments in quiet thought, as if calculating his next move. ‘And this is no different. Right. That tree. March.’
I stumbled in front of him over to a trusty old oak with a tangle of low-hanging branches.
He halted me beneath one of the stoutest of these.
‘Right,’ he said. ‘Coat off. Hands in the air.’
‘It’s too cold,’ I grumbled, but I shrugged off my long wool coat all the same and lifted my arms.
He was removing a length of rope from one of the pockets of his ski jacket.
‘You came equipped then.’
‘Always.’
He wound the rope around my wrists and tied it fast to the tree branch, holding me in my upright position with arms pulled up taut. My sweater rode up over my navel, baring the lower portion of my stomach. It really was far too cold for this!
‘What are you going to do?’ I whined. ‘I can’t stay like this for long.’
‘I know,’ he said curtly.
He lifted my sweater up over my breasts and left it bunched at my neck.
‘Oh, God,’ I said, realising that he was taking a leaf from Dimitri’s book when he bent again to take a handful of snow.
‘You deserve this,’ he whispered, packing the cups of my bra with the icy slush.
I flailed wildly in my bonds, my teeth chattering. My nipples flared and throbbed then went numb.
‘I can’t feel anything,’ I said.
‘You will, soon enough,’ he promised. ‘Once it’s melted, your nipples will wake up, nice and slowly. Like taking off a clamp, but more extended.’
I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that. I always dreaded the clamps.
‘In the meantime …’ he said, and he finished the sentence by unbuttoning and pulling my jeans roughly down to the tops of my boots.
‘Jasper,’ I pleaded. ‘Somebody might see.’
‘What’s the problem? You’ve still got your underwear on. It’s no worse than a bikini on the beach.’
Objectively, perhaps he was right, but it certainly felt several times lewder. Goosepimples rose on my thighs and belly and what I could see of my skin from my taut position was milky blue in colour.
‘I can’t have you freezing, though, can I?’ said Jasper, moving behind me.
I heard the snapping of twigs and I tried to twist my neck to look over my shoulder, but he was out of my line of vision.
I felt something held to my bottom, over my tight-stretched cotton knickers. Several somethings, in fact. A bunch of rods. A switch.
‘Oh, no,’ I moaned.
‘Don’t worry. They’ll break off within a few strokes,’ he said with a sigh. ‘Winter switches are the worst. But you’ll be nice and warm until then. All right, then. This is for running off and making me worry about you.’
A dry snap of pain landed on my rear. He was right. It did make me forget about the cold.
I danced on the balls of my feet, hissing out my pain.
Three more followed, hot on its tail, and mine.
‘And these,’ he said, prodding my welts with the tips of the switch, ‘are for snowballing me. Horrendous disrespect, madam!’
Six hard strokes were laid on, some of them catching my bare flesh below the knicker elastic. The sting scorched through me, tightening my skin and making me feel every raised line he created.
‘It hurts,’ I sniffled.
‘I bet it does.’
The voice that spoke was not Jasper’s but Trix’s. I spun around on my rope, trying to conceal the rudest parts of me from her gaze, but I knew it was in vain. She stood on the kitchen step, wearing a fluffy bathrobe and slippers, clutching a mug of tea for warmth. Her smile was a little cold, but her eyes were faraway, dreamy.
‘Ah, Trix,’ said Jasper. ‘I hope you slept well.’
‘Like a top.’ She laughed. ‘But perhaps that would be more appropriate for you or Dimitri.’
Jasper appreciated the joke. He showed this by whipping another hard stroke down on my bottom. My knickers were beginning to cling to my skin now, tricked into thinking we were experiencing sweltering weather rather than snow.
I gasped, then wailed, then tried to work out why I was not as bothered by Trix’s voyeurism as I might have expected to be. It felt OK, being watched by her. It felt more than that, in fact. I felt … proud. How odd.
Another stroke soon converted the pride to suffering again.
‘She’s done this before,’ said Trix.
‘Oh, yes,’ agreed Jasper. ‘Never on such a cold day as this, though.’
Her World of Submission Page 10
