by Julie Cohen
‘This is Kathleen Dunne,’ Gary said, dropping Jonny’s hand and bringing his date forward with a hand in the small of her back.
Kathleen had swapped her waitress uniform for party gear: full sex-kitten make-up, skin-tight black dress and stiletto heels. It looked as if he and Jane weren’t the only ones putting on a show tonight.
Jonny wasn’t interested in what Kathleen thought about this whole situation, though. He watched Jane as she nodded to Kathleen with a chilly smile, and glanced at Gary just in time to catch him giving Jane the once-over, from her softly waving hair to her drop-waisted silk dress, demure but still sexy in a way that more overt clothing could never be. And her shoes, fine leather high-heeled sandals that showed a hint of Jane’s toes, painted rose to match her dress.
He’d heard Gary liked shoes. And Jonny would bet the advance on every book he’d written that, despite the sexpot by his side, Gary still wanted Jane.
His hand tightened on Jane’s waist.
‘Are you enjoying the party?’ he asked, because although his instinct was to throw Jane over his shoulder and beat his chest in Tarzan style, that was probably not anyone’s idea of perfect boyfriend behaviour.
‘Thom’s parties are always fantastic,’ Gary said, and Jonny didn’t even have to look at Jane to know that her eyes were narrowing at the remark. She’d said she’d never been to one of Thom’s parties; apparently Gary had been making appearances without her.
‘I loved the one where he hired the London Eye,’ Kathleen piped up. ‘There were all these lights? And the view was astounding.’
Jane’s intake of breath was only just perceptible. Jonny’s stomach got tighter with anger. He wanted to hold Jane, take away her pain at this little nasty evidence of betrayal, but if he tightened his grip any more he was going to hurt her.
He turned to her instead, because the sooner they got away from these poisonous people, the better he was going to feel. ‘I don’t think we need to—’
Her face was set and composed and he saw that Jane was going to be damned if she let anyone see that she was hurt by them.
Jonny’s heart twisted and all at once he remembered a hundred incidents from his childhood where his father had been angry with a customer at their bed and breakfast who had been treating his wife with less than the total respect that he’d believed she’d deserved. Every time, a look from his wife would quell him and Jonathan Cole Senior would stand by, a strong near reassurance, as Naomi Cole had dealt with her customers with quiet dignity.
He swallowed his anger. ‘I’m enjoying working on the Franco cologne campaign,’ he said to Gary. ‘I’m not an expert on advertising but I think the design is striking, and from what I’ve seen Jane has done some very clever copywriting.’
‘Jane is extremely talented,’ Gary said. Jonny’s estimation of him went up slightly because he said it with no hesitation at all. ‘Giovanni Franco’s team have been impressed with her work, and he is not an easy client to please.’
‘I’m a lucky man to have met her,’ Jonny said, and gave Jane the smile and the look that said plainly how much he was crazy about her, and that was only a lie because of circumstances, not of feeling. She returned it, though he could see the subtle hints of strain around her eyes.
Kathleen had been shifting from side to side on her stilettos, obviously unhappy with the turn of the conversation to Jane-appreciation. ‘What are you two doing over the weekend?’ she asked. ‘Gary and I are flying to Milan.’
‘Buying shoes?’ Jane muttered, and Jonny interposed.
‘Jane and I are getting away as well,’ he said. ‘The shoot’s done and we thought we’d celebrate by going somewhere remote and romantic for the weekend.’
‘Yes, I thought it was time I took a break from work for once,’ Jane said, without a trace of surprise at their sudden fictional weekend date. ‘I hear a man likes it when a woman takes the time to get to know him.’
He wasn’t exactly sure why, but that seemed to hit home with Gary, whose handsome face flushed.
‘Well, that calls for a celebration,’ Gary said. ‘Why don’t I track down one of those bottles of champagne that are making the rounds?’
Kathleen had latched her arm around Gary’s in a death grip. ‘I’ll help you, darling,’ she said, and steered him, without any subtlety, away from Jane and Jonny towards the centre of the room.
Jane raised her glass to her lips and drained it. Then she took Jonny’s glass from the nearby table where he’d placed it to shake Gary’s hand and drained that, too.
‘Can we get out of here for a minute?’ she asked, and the strain he’d only seen traces of before in her eyes was so stark that he immediately walked with her in the other direction from Gary and Kathleen, towards a set of French windows that apparently led to a balcony. She grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter before they stepped through the windows outside.
Until the evening air cooled his face, he didn’t know just how heated up he’d been. The balcony ran nearly the length of the building, lit softly by lights of South Kensington. Jane went straight to the gracefully curled stone railing and leant her elbows against it, looking out at the view and taking a sip of champagne. Her bare shoulders looked narrow and fragile in the dim light.
He leant next to her. It was impossible to keep from brushing a stray curl back from her face. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Can we spend a few minutes not thinking about this whole girlfriend and boyfriend act thing? Just spend a few minutes being ourselves with each other?’
‘No problem.’
‘Good.’ She took a deep breath, and let it out. He wasn’t touching her but he could feel her relaxing a little bit. She breathed deeply again. Jonny leant next to her, looking outwards, letting her be.
‘Do you remember how we used to climb trees?’ she asked abruptly. ‘How we used to hide from Paul and Dylan and Jez and Billy when they were teasing us?’
‘And drop conkers on their heads.’
She nodded and he saw the beginnings of her first real smile of the night. ‘You used to make me call you Tarzan.’
Jonny laughed. Maybe that earlier thought about slinging her over her shoulder hadn’t come from nowhere after all. ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane.’
‘I liked it up in those trees. Do you remember the night we stayed up there until it got dark? We got in so much trouble.’
He remembered it perfectly. He’d been eleven and it had been only a few weeks before he’d moved up to the Lake District with his parents so they could start their first bed and breakfast. They’d stuffed their pockets full of biscuits and sat together straddling a branch, eating crumbs, the whole world beneath them.
As the sun had set Jane’s every delicate feature had been bathed in pink. The inside of her lips had been in dark shadow, her eyes alight. He had an image in his head of her leaning back against the tree trunk, swinging her legs, tipping back her head and laughing at something they had said.
‘I remember it,’ he said. He didn’t say what he was thinking: You were the girl of my dreams.
‘What are your brothers up to, anyway?’ he said instead.
‘Paul and Jez are barristers. Dylan just accepted a promotion at his bank that means he’ll be working in Hong Kong for the next couple of years. And Billy’s had a very good offer from a multinational for his consulting company, but he’s holding out for a better.’
‘Wow. You all turned out high achievers, didn’t you?’
‘It’s important for us to do well. I’m proud of them.’
‘Any of them married? Kids?’
‘Dylan has two sons. Boy children run in our family. Paul’s wife Miranda is expecting, and if it turns out to be a girl I think every Miller in existence will go into shock. The last female Miller to be born was back in nineteen twenty-four.’
‘Aside from you, of course.’
‘Aside from me.’
He wondered if she’d actually forgotten to count herself. ‘That mus
t make you very special in your family.’
His eyes had adjusted to the light, and he could see her raise her eyebrows. ‘It made me different, anyway. Though you must remember what I was like as a kid. I was a total tomboy.’
‘You always seemed very female to me.’
The twist of her lips was so funnily vulnerable that he wanted to give her a hug. But he wasn’t sure of the parameters of their touching in a friendly way, and he wanted so much more than that in any case that he kept his hands to himself now that they were in private.
She took a sip of her champagne. ‘I never really said how sorry I am for your mother and what she’s going through. I mean, I did, but I didn’t know she was your mother at the time. If that makes sense.’
‘It does. Thank you.’
‘How is she doing? She was always so calm, I remember. Your house was very peaceful compared to mine full of brothers. I liked going over there.’
Jonny smiled, because he’d always liked going over to Jane’s house because it had been so full of activity, and, most of all, Jane.
‘It’s hard to tell exactly how she’s doing,’ he said. ‘I’ve seen her nearly every day since I’ve moved back to England, but she doesn’t talk much. She never did; it was my father who was the expressive one.’ He let out a laugh that was mirthless, despite his earlier fond memory. ‘Except when he was keeping dark secrets, apparently.’
‘If this campaign goes well and Giovanni Franco decides to extend it, it could be very lucrative for you,’ Jane said. ‘Maybe lucrative enough to pay off your debts.’
‘Maybe.’
Jane put her champagne glass down on the stone balustrade and turned to face him. ‘You should tell her.’
‘Excuse me?’
Her chin was set. ‘You should tell your mother about your father’s debts. She deserves to know the truth.’
‘Jane, I don’t recall asking for your advice about this.’
‘You’re my friend and I’m giving it to you. I don’t think it’s right for you to keep the truth from her, even if it’s bad news. She’s a grown woman and should know what’s happening to her.’
He felt his hand tightening on the stone railing. ‘I don’t think you’re in a good position to talk about getting the truth out in the open, considering why we’re here tonight.’
‘My situation and your mother’s are completely different.’
‘Are they? It seems as if I’m being dragged into deception by both situations, because I want to do the best thing for someone who I care about.’
‘Jonny, I’m just your friend. This is your mother we’re talking about.’
You’re not just my friend.
He bit back the words, because they were pointless. Because this relationship was going no further than this ridiculous act.
‘I can’t tell her,’ he said instead, doggedly. ‘It would destroy her image of my father. I need—’
I need someone to still think of my father as a good man, because otherwise it’s too unbearable. Again, he couldn’t say it. There was the truth, and then there was the big truth.
‘It would hurt her too much,’ he finished.
‘But you’re doing exactly the same thing to her that your father did. Hiding things. I know you want to protect her, Jonny, but if you care about somebody you can’t deceive them.’
‘And where does that put you and Gary?’
She opened her mouth, her eyes wide with surprise and shock, because he’d spat out the question.
‘I—’
‘Whoa there, lovebirds. If you think you’re going to fly away, you’ve got another think coming.’
Why did Thom always choose the worst possible moment to appear? Jonny swallowed, relaxed his shoulders, and turned to his friend. Thom was holding a bottle of champagne and was accompanied by Amy, who was looking cheerful and chic.
‘Just having a breather,’ Jonny said.
‘Have some champagne while you’re breathing.’ Thom filled up Jane’s glass to the rim, noticed Jonny didn’t have a glass, and offered him the bottle. Jonny shook his head.
‘You two look very cosy out here,’ Amy said.
Jane took a gulp of her champagne. ‘Not so cosy that friends aren’t welcome,’ she said, and Jonny, who was attuned to every one of her moods whether he wanted to be or not, thought he caught a look of guilt.
‘Dude, you’re not drinking. Let’s go find you a glass.’ Thom grabbed hold of Jonny’s sleeve and more or less dragged him across the balcony towards the French doors, leaving the women to talk to each other.
‘What’s up, Thom?’
Thom’s eyes were wide and his face looked half panicked. ‘Dude, I really like that woman.’
‘That’s wonderful.’
Thom shook his head violently. ‘No, it’s totally, totally bad.’
‘Why? She seems like a great woman, and she likes you, too.’
‘Okay. Let’s put it this way. You know how you were joking that I haven’t had sex since the last leap year? Well, it wasn’t that far off the truth. I’ve been dating, you know, having fun, just skating along. Of course I’m a regular guy, and if sex looks like it’s going to happen, you know, you usually take it, but lately it’s seemed like too much of a hassle, like it’s easier to just—just—’
‘Skate along?’
‘Yeah. Skate. And the thing is, about Amy, is I’m thinking that she’s not skateable.’
Jonny removed the champagne bottle from Thom’s fingers. He wasn’t sure if his friend should be in swigging distance of alcohol right now.
‘So what you’re trying to say is that you think if you get involved with this woman, it’s going to be a serious thing? You’re maybe going to fall in love with her and that’s scaring you?’
‘Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. Exactly.’
Jonny couldn’t help glancing back at the railing, where Jane stood talking with Amy. He was angry with her, for this situation, for not sharing his emotions, for questioning his feelings about his own family. But his entire body and soul wanted nothing more than to go over there and take her in his arms.
He put the champagne bottle down on the floor. Booze was a bad idea for him, too. His judgement was already impaired enough.
‘So it looks like we have two choices, mate,’ he said to Thom. ‘We can turn around right now and run out of here as fast as we can.’
‘Yeah. Yeah. And what’s the other choice?’
‘We can go and ask Jane and Amy to dance.’
Thom’s eyes were haunted. ‘What should we do?’
‘What do you want to do?’
‘I want to dance with her.’ Thom kicked the floor. ‘Dammit.’
‘Me too.’ And once he touched her, it was going to take all of his control not to forget his anger, not to show her exactly how hopelessly in love with her he was. ‘Also dammit.’
Thom gripped Jonny’s shoulder. ‘Okay. Let’s go over and ask them. I tell you what, though, my friend. We are totally screwed.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘COME on, girls, let’s dance.’
Jane and Amy had leant against the balcony together, looking out at the view and drinking champagne and sharing easy chatter about Pearce Grey and Amy’s career before she’d been hired there. Fortunately, Amy hadn’t brought up Jane’s relationship with Jonny again; Jane was feeling guilty enough about deceiving her earlier. At Thom’s voice, they both turned around.
‘Is this you trying to sweep us up off our feet with charm and wit?’ There was laughter in Amy’s voice.
Thom scratched the back of his head. ‘I guess I could make up a poem.’
‘No need.’ Amy linked her arm with his. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’
Jonny was standing very still beside Thom, and his face was grim. As Amy and Thom headed towards the French doors back into the party he approached her.
‘Let’s go dance,’ he said.
‘I think that’s even less charming than what Thom said,’ Jane
replied. He was serious, and she could see the anger he’d shown when they’d talked about his mother simmering under the surface.
‘I only need to be charming in public.’ He held his arm out towards the party. ‘Come on, it’s time to start acting again.’
Jane hesitated. Something had changed from their comfortable, comforting friendship of a few minutes ago. It was even different from their play-acting in front of Hasan and Gary. This Jonny’s face was set in harsh lines, and he made no effort to touch her or to meet her eyes.
‘I don’t really know how to dance,’ she said.
‘There’s no grace required. All we have to do is to show everybody that we’re completely in love. Should be easy.’ He held out his hand to her, though the pose was formal. ‘So, Jane, would you care to dance with me?’
She put her hand in his and let him guide her back into the party.
The air inside was warm and close; the lights and the dresses and people glittered. The band was playing a song she vaguely recognised: slow, sweet, and old-fashioned, with a rhythm like a heartbeat. The minute they were inside, Jonny drew her a little closer so that her hip bumped against him as they walked to the dance floor.
Thom and Amy were already there, Thom’s hand on her hip and her head resting on his shoulder. Their suits were similar, but Thom’s light hair bobbed over Amy’s dark curls. They didn’t appear to be speaking; Amy had her eyes closed and a dreamy smile on her face, and Thom was looking down at her, his expression faintly alarmed.
Jonny guided Jane to a spot near them and he pulled her close.
‘Just follow my lead,’ he whispered to her. He put his hand on her waist, and Jane could feel the warmth of his palm and fingers through the silk of her dress. His hand made her feel smaller, more delicate. She curled her arm around his neck, brushing her fingertips against his bare skin between his collar and his hair, and rested her other hand in his.
Their bodies weren’t quite touching, but the warmth and reality of Jonny pressed against her entire front. Her breasts were a fraction of an inch from his chest. They might as well have been plastered all over him, because they felt tingling and alive and tight just from being near him.
