'So,' he shrugged dryly, 'my developing sensitivity isn't as infallible as I thought. Or is it just my present affliction which makes you shudder with distaste?'
Shaken, Sandra flinched from his hardening tones, wondering however she was going to extricate herself from a situation that was becoming more dangerously disquieting by the minute. While she had been attracted by Stein's photograph this hadn't prepared her for the strength of emotion that seemed to hit her as she stared at him now. She wasn't sure what it was —it might merely be pity, but it left her weak and trembling, her only desire to comfort him. There was in her a frightening inclination to put her arms around him, to allow him to do as he wished with her, to reassure him fervently that he was still a man any woman might want, despite his blindness. It seemed intolerable, to her young, feverish way of thinking, that Alexandra had chosen to leave him, especially in this way.
Sandra sighed, more deeply than she knew, as she tried to put her anger aside and answer as she imagined Alexandra might. 'Your present affliction has nothing to do with my feelings in that direction, Stein, as you must know. I can't understand why you keep on about it!'
His face changed to a wry but not desperate resignation. I'm sorry, Alexandra, I didn't mean to tease. Greeson was here this afternoon and he always puts me in a black mood, but I don't have to take it out on you.'
Sandra, who had no idea who Greeson was, sought to distract Stein before he could say more about him. 'I know how you feel,' she said quickly. 'You don't have to apologise. Why not have your drink and relax?'
'Cheers,' he quipped tonelessly, lifting his glass, draining half of it in one go as a knock came on the door.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she watched as he let a waiter in with their dinner and, while his back was turned, she tipped the contents of her own glass into a nearby rose bowl. With a rueful grimace she hoped the roses would appreciate it more than she had done!
Over dinner, which Stein handled so expertly she was again hard put to it to believe he couldn't see, she accepted a little red wine with her steak, but only one glass. When Stein insisted she have more she refused, protesting unthinkingly that she wasn't used to it.
She wasn't aware of the mistake she had made until he laughed sarcastically, 'I've never asked you to give up your bad habits, my dear, just because we're going to Greece.' Greece! She watched the harsh light from the centre fitment play over his dark face and the thought of being with him on a pagan island made her shudder even more than her immediate gaffe over the wine. She had forgotten Alexandra was so fond of it. 'Greece,' she repeated aloud, as the waiter brought their coffee and then silently departed. 'Are you sure,' she entreated cravenly, 'you still want me to accompany you?'
'I haven't any other guide dog,' he retorted grimly, his grey eyes uncannily accurate on hers, so that she felt exposed to some suddenly scornful disapproval within them. 'Besides,' he taunted, 'aren't you coming to find out if you really love me?'
'Of course,' she muttered, feeling as helpless as though she were lost at sea in a small boat. Not even the waves might have made her feel as sick as she did now. Quickly, knowing she must change the subject or confess everything, she left her own chair, going around to his. 'Come and have coffee,' she tried to infuse a coaxing note through her tight throat. Her hand lifted, not quite touching his arm. 'Can't I help you?'
'For God's sake, Alex,' he snarled, immediately informing her she had done the wrong thing, 'you know I can manage in here. I should be an imbecile if I couldn't, after the practice i get.'
Moving away from him as if stung, she retreated to the settee, clenching her fingers around the coffee pot which the waiter had placed on a low table before it and trying frantically to stop herself from shaking. Stein's nerves must be taut if he could speak like this to someone he was supposed to love. Sandra felt her own might soon be as bad if she didn't get away from him. Perhaps in a few minutes she might make some excuse and go?
Steadying her voice wasn't easy, but eventually she managed, 'I'm sorry.' She poured his coffee, adding sugar and milk, passing it to him as he followed silently and sat down by her side. She was conscious of his dark strength, the muscled hardness of his thigh and above all the strange flicker of remembered fire in her body as her hand touched his.
'Don't tell me you're getting sensitive, my darling,' he jeered.
Not sure what he was referring to, she uttered the first thing to enter her head. 'Do you get—I mean, have you had many visitors?'
'Enough.' His pause was significant. 'I've had half a dozen today, all full of good intentions and curiosity. Still, it does pass the time until I get down to working again. How's the typing going? Have you been practising?' 'Practising?' The blank state of Sandra's mind caused her to blink with dismay. 'Oh, yes!' As she dazedly recalled what Alexandra had told her, her exclamation was too quick. 'At least,' she indulged in a glorious rashness, 'it will be something to pass the time in — Greece.'
'There could be other diversions.'
'What—such as?' she asked blankly, while wishing fervently that she didn't have to study her every question and answer with such totally unnatural hesitation. How soon, she wondered, before he noticed?
His narrowed glance was swiftly speculative and taunting. 'Oh, the usual sort,' he drawled, taking a slow sip of his coffee before setting it down again. 'A little, wandering and romanticism in the moonlight. Greek moonlight can be extremely potent, Alexandra, even for those usually in control of their emotions. Doesn't the thought of your possible seduction excite you a little?'
'No, definitely not!' Feverishly Sandra dug her nails into her palms, again glad he couldn't see the startled flush on her face. Maybe Alexandra had been right to desert this man with his sensuous look of a prowling tiger! With a strangely intensified awareness she wondered what a girl would be like after spending weeks on a lonely Greek island with a man such as this. Her eyes went over him reluctantly as she sat beside him. He had taken off his jacket and loosened his tie. Beneath the open top button of his shirt, at the base of his strong neck, lay a mat of thick dark hair proclaiming an exciting but dangerous masculinity. Quickly she averted her wandering gaze, but not before she had found time to be curious about the number of women he had had affairs with. 'I think,' she choked, 'I'll find greater satisfaction in work. And you did promise.'
What exactly he had promised she wasn't really sure. Alexandra had only mentioned it vaguely. It might be wiser to leave now and see Alexandra, to have a few things more
clearly defined!
But as she made to jump to her feet, as if guessing her intention, his hand shot out and caught her. 'I never promised not to kiss you, did I Alexandra? It's something we've both neglected, but tonight I seem to have an odd fancy.'
As his voice faded he suddenly jerked her against him and, before she could find the breath to protest, his hand raked the back of her head and his mouth found hers.
It was what Sandra had been least expecting. Or expecting most—she wasn't sure, but the moment his lips touched hers she knew it for a disaster. A disaster for her as a flame leaped between them, something instantaneous and immediately searing. Around her his firm hands were suddenly rough, slipping down her back to her narrow waist, then up higher, cupping her breasts until she was shivering. She was aware of his mouth, his lips, after their first assault, moving sensitively, trying to force hers apart, and terror of the ultimate outcome, should she surrender to this flood- tide of feeling, gave her the strength to draw back. Everything within her protested that she was in danger of learning too much too swiftly, that Stein Freeman was never a man to allow her one step at a time when he was also moved with primitive desire. Horrified, she pushed him feverishly away.
For a long time he remained completely still, to her relief not attempting to detain her as a slow frown gathered on his forehead. Then, when he seemed about to grasp her again, she started away from him. 'I must go, Stein,' she cried, reaction setting in so rapidly she knew that if she did
n't she might easily burst into tears. Either this or start begging him to kiss her again, and she didn't know which would be worst! She was aware of the craziness of a situation that made it impossible for her to tell him exactly what she thought of him for kissing her the way he had. After all, she was supposed to be his fiancee! The sooner she saw Alexandra and told her the whole thing was impossible, the better she would like it.
As she paused in utter mortification, Stein seemed to hesitate before nodding surprisingly. 'If you must,' he agreed suavely. 'Perhaps we both have something to think over.'
'Yes.' She was so busy scrambling quickly into her coat she didn't hear his voice deepen in contemplation. 'Take care of yourself,' she added breathlessly, belatedly thinking there must have been something more she could have done for him than share his dinner and pour coffee. He must be extremely helpless here on his own, in spite of his determined independence. No wonder he wanted to be in Greece among his relations. 'Stein?' she asked, an unconscious note of pleading in her voice. 'Isn't there anything I can do for you?'
'A lot,' he murmured, following her to the door, 'but for the meantime it might be sufficient if you promise to return tomorrow. I don't wish to wait another three days and there are still a few things to discuss before we leave for Greece.'
'Greece?' she stuttered, as though she'd never heard of such a place.
'Yes, Greece,' he taunted. 'You haven't forgotten we fly there on Friday, Alexandra? What's the matter, my dear?' he added, when she made no reply. 'Are you frightened that alone with me on Kalnos you won't be able to control that surprising bit of lasciviousness which almost betrayed you when I kissed you just now?'
Sandra could have told him she felt frozen with fright just standing here — fright, and another emotion she could put no name to. 'How dare you talk to me like that!' she gasped. 'You make me sound positively indecent!'
'Another few minutes on my settee,' he jeered, 'and I could almost guarantee you'd have been acting that way.' His hand streaked out to grasp her wrist, as instinctively he sensed her retreat. 'Why have you always kept your emotions so well hidden until now?'
'I don't know what you're talking about!' She was so confused she scarcely noticed he held her. She didn't know what to expect. Further insults, perhaps, or another assault of some kind? Whatever the cause she felt herself trembling. Yet all he did was drop her arm, so suddenly she felt startled.
'Forget it,' he rejoined curtly. 'I may not find it worth the effort to delve under the ice. A man could drown in such a situation, while leaving the ice relatively unscathed.
Illusions, my dear, tend to plague a man who can't see. His senses are inclined to exaggerate everything. He's inclined to get excited over what's only a trick of the imagination. You can rest assured, my frigid Alexandra, that your virginity, should you still have it, is quite safe with me.'
'Stein!'
'I'd advise you to just shut up and go,' he drawled, a thin smile lending a cool indifference to his words. 'As I mentioned before, I'll see you tomorrow. That much you can remember.'
On the way back to Alexandra's flat Sandra decided firmly that she wasn't going through with it. Earlier she had been partly resigned, convinced she would be extremely foolish to turn such an opportunity down. Five thousand pounds, when she had had time to think it over, had seemed like a fortune, an answer to all her problems and prayers, but now that she had actually met Stein Freeman she was realising fast just how utterly gullible she had been. That the scheme Alexandra had hatched up had even began to appeal to Sandra's young thirst for adventure seemed now incredible. How had either of them supposed she would be able to go through with it, that she might have the intelligence or ability to continue to deceive a man like Stein Freeman?
Yet not even to herself would Sandra confess she hadn't found it so completely impossible until he kissed her. Furtively, as if there was someone to see, she licked her tongue around dry lips. He had, she supposed, only kissed her lightly, and, while she had been half expecting that he might want to kiss his fiance, Sandra had been totally unprepared for the response he had aroused within her. She had wanted to melt against him, wanted his mouth to linger, their kiss to deepen, even when her untried emotions had grown alarmed. She would never confess it, but the hint of sensuality he talked of had flared within her, something so new and strange as to be suddenly terrifying, her one defence seeming to be to fight it although every instinct had pleaded otherwise.
What, she wondered unhappily, had his exact relationship been with Alexandra? Alex had sworn she had never had an affair with him, but she had once hinted that, having Greek blood in his veins, he was not reputed to be a cold man. How then had she kept him at a distance? Far from him being cold, Sandra sensed that under his somewhat grim exterior lay a darkly passionate nature. No girl might escape him if he really decided he wanted her, but what the outcome of such an affair might be Sandra had neither the experience or desire to conjecture.
Paying off the taxi took only seconds. With her mind concentrated solely on Stein Freeman, she pressed more than was necessary into the man's hand and was rewarded with an appreciative grin. Grateful for the first sign of warmth she seemed to have found in London yet, Sandra smiled back faintly as he drove away.
But her smile faded rapidly as she hurried into the high building where her cousin lived. That man could see, he wasn't blind. He wasn't a man who could be deceived, the way she and Alexandra were planning to deceive Stein! Numbly Sandra was glad she had come to her senses in time. Alexandra must be made to acknowledge her responsibilities. It was quite obvious that Stein wasn't yet up to facing the unhappiness of a broken engagement, so Alexandra must agree to go with him to his Greek island. That the thought of Alexandra in Greece with Stein seemed to hurt beyond everything else was something Sandra knew she must endeavour to ignore.
Another shock awaited her, however, after she let herself into the flat with her spare key. Alexandra wasn't there. There was only a note, lying on the small hall table, explaining that she had gone.
'By the time you get this,' the hastily written scrawl went, 'I shall be well on my way. I won't say where, but I'll tell you Arnold and I expect to be married tomorrow, so there's nothing you can do about it now. I'm sorry for the
hasty departure, but I dared not risk being here when you returned, as I have a great suspicion you might have changed your mind. You always were a timid little mouse, otherwise you'd never have stayed so long with Gran. Now I suggest you'll have to stiffen that upper lip and stick it out. Unless you want a tragedy on your conscience?'
Alexandra added a P.S. 'Arnold has arranged for you to have the agreed five thousand pounds. If you contact his solicitor at the enclosed address he has all the details. You never know, my dear, play your cards right and Stein might be even more generous.'
Feeling numb with shock, Sandra stared at the sheet of paper in her hands. Overcome, she was stunned by a terrible despair, wondering just what she had let herself in for. Alexandra had obviously been crafty enough to sum the situation up. She had even, by veiled insults, managed to imply that she was acting as much for Sandra's good as her own. Her last sentence didn't bear thinking about. Sandra even felt ashamed, at that moment, that she had such a cousin. As for the money, she resolved she would never touch it.
It was some time later before she was able to pull herself together sufficiently to drag herself to the kitchenette to make a cup of tea. There was a horrible taste in her mouth and she felt quite sick. Carefully she wiped a trickle of perspiration from her brow, pushing back the heavy hair from off her small ears in an effort to obtain some coolness. She felt trapped in a welter of fear and disillusion, not remembering, even when Gran had been so ill at the end, ever feeling like this.
Her first reaction, when she felt a little calmer, was to go straight back to Stein and confess everything. She had, in fact, switched off the kettle again and reached the outer door before she realised the terrible position in which Alexandra had placed her
. Her legs almost giving way beneath her, she shrank down on the hall chair. As Alexandra had so vindictively pointed out, how could she live afterwards, if Stein did anything fatal, with such a thing on her conscience? Alexandra's conscience, Sandra decided bitterly, didn't appear to trouble her at all.
All through the night Sandra was unable to sleep as surges of indecision and terror shook her, yet by morning she felt strangely calm. Any possibility of telling Stein the truth seemed to have gone, for to do this might almost amount to murder. How must it feel to be blinded then deserted by someone one loved? To deal out another blow, even if she could bring herself to do it, was, Sandra knew, beyond her. Somehow she must, as Alexandra advised, stick it out. Then, perhaps after they had been in Greece a little while, after the herb-laden breezes, the peace and the sunshine had worked their own healing, she might tell him. There she would find a way of doing it gently, so that the hurt wouldn't be so drastic, and shock, if any, would perhaps be alleviated by the presence of his no doubt adoring grandmother. It was reassuring, if anything could be, to know that so far he suspected nothing. He had accepted her without question as Alexandra. All she must do now was continue the charade with as much confidence as possible — and, she added despairingly, without worrying too much about what to do if Stein tried to kiss her again.
In spite of her having spent the whole day assuring herself nothing could go wrong, it was with marked apprehension that Sandra prepared to visit Stein again that evening. It seemed ridiculous to wear a pretty dress, to take such special care with her face and make-up when he wasn't able to see her. She didn't want to admit, each time she recombed her hair and renewed her lipstick, that it was merely to put off the moment when she could no longer
The Devil's Bride Page 3
