Even as she spoke the words, she was regretting them. Tommy’s eyes darkened as he looked away. He remained at the bar for a moment before reaching out and picking up her last remaining shot and downing the bitter liquid.
“I’m sorry I intruded, Penny Lane. I hope things work out for you.” She couldn’t even look at him as he made his way out of the restaurant.
Instead, all she could do was lay her head down on the bar, her head swimming.
She had no idea what she was going to do—her options were already so limited. Sell the restaurant, or buy Kevin out.
Except that she couldn’t buy Kevin out.
How could he be doing this to her? How could he have been so different from the man she’d thought he was?
She had thought she’d married someone with the same passions as her. She’d thought he was a decent guy—someone loyal, someone she could count on. After Tommy had left all those years ago, it was Kevin who had stepped into his footsteps. He’d been her friend before he’d been her lover.
And now, so many years later, he was betraying her worse than she’d ever thought possible.
Penny walked home alone that night, lost to her thoughts.
Everything had changed so much over the years. Where had it all gone wrong?
Involuntarily, she thought back to the night Tommy had left. He’d suggested she come along with him, knowing full well that she wouldn’t.
Sometimes, she tried to imagine what life would have been like had she taken him up on that offer. Would Tommy have made it? She knew for certain that she wouldn’t have. Penny’s destiny had never been to act, despite whatever Tommy may have believed.
It was only next to him that she could even attempt to shine.
No, Penny wasn’t made for a life in the limelight and she had accepted that long ago. But still, what would life have been like if she and Tommy had somehow managed to stay together?
What would her life have been like if she and Tommy had even managed to keep in touch?
Another ache thrived to life in her chest and she rolled onto her side, her tears soaking into her pillow.
She thought about how badly it had hurt that Tommy had walked away so easily. There had been nights, especially in the beginning, that she had lain awake all night, staring at the ceiling, wondering where he was and if he was okay.
She had wanted to believe that he needed her. That she had meant as much to him as he had meant to her. When he stopped calling, when he didn’t write…it all became so clear to her.
He’d broken his promise. He’d forgotten about her. And worst of all, she realized that she’d lost the one and only person who would ever completely understand her.
That had been the hardest thing to accept. Because even though she had Kevin, it still felt as if part of her was missing.
And now, looking back, Penny wished she would have listened to her instincts. She had convinced herself somewhere along the way that she had imagined the strength of her bond with Tommy. She had romanticized it, and such a reality didn’t exist.
She had told herself that Kevin was a good match for her.
How wrong she’d been.
About everything.
Seeing Tommy again reawakened something within herself. It gave her reason to believe that—no, she hadn’t imagined it. Whatever she’d had with Tommy was real.
He was her friend. And even if he had disappeared, she was certain he had a reason for it.
Because when she looked into Tommy’s eyes, she could tell that he actually felt guilt. He knew that he had committed a wrong and he felt badly for it.
And how had Penny repaid him?
Oh, that’s right. She lied to him. And then she took her anger out on him.
Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
It was late in the morning when he heard a knock at his door. He groaned, covering his head with the pillow. The knock sounded again, this time with a little more persistence.
He swore loudly as he rose from the bed, throwing the thinning blankets onto the floor and pulling the door open, very angry words on the tip of his tongue.
Very angry words that disappeared the moment he saw Penny standing there, holding a cup of coffee out to him. “Peace offering?”
“I think I’m probably still in your debt, Pen. You don’t have to apologize.”
“But I do.” She sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.”
“How about we go for a walk?”
“You mind if I throw a shirt on?” he watched as Penny’s eyes flickered over his bare chest momentarily before nodding, a little bit of excitement rousing inside him as she did so. Stop it, he scolded himself.
“I mean, I can’t have you walking around like that, that’s for sure. There’s bound to be some law of decency you’re breaking.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he held the door open for her. “There is such a thing as being too fit, you know.”
“Tease all you want.”
“Oh, I will.” She smiled, perching on the edge of the bed while he disappeared into the bathroom. He liked how easy all of this was for them. It had always been that way. “Rough night?” she questioned and he peeked around the door.
“Oh—well, I’ve had worse.” The room was in a state of total disarray, blankets and pillows all over the place. A half empty bottle of whiskey sat on the nightstand. “Couldn’t sleep.” He ducked back into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, running a hand through his hair.
“I know the feeling.” Tommy wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear that or not and so he said nothing, turning around to grab one of the only two shirts he had brought with him. That was one of the drawbacks of doing something spontaneous. Details were always overlooked. It was lucky that he’d been wearing two shirts the day he’d taken off.
“Maybe, if you’re not busy, we could make a day of it and do a little shopping. I’m…well, my wardrobe is quite limited.”
“Today isn’t usually my day off…” She bit her lip for a moment, thinking. “But you know what? Kevin can handle it all on his own. I’m taking a personal day.” Tommy laughed as he watched her eyes narrow. It was pretty obvious that, whatever Kevin had done, Penny was not happy about it.
“You show ‘em, Pen.” He tried to be serious, but she only rolled her eyes at him. “Come on,” he nodded toward the door, taking a sip of the coffee she’d brought him.
“Sorry I woke you,” she said after a few minutes, the two of them walking toward a park that lay along the coast. “I forgot you’re probably still on L.A. time.”
“It’s no big deal. I’m used to running on a couple hours of sleep.”
“Things that busy for you out there?”
“Sometimes.” Sometimes, he just couldn’t sleep. Just like everyone else, he lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering about all of the what-ifs.
“Is that why you were so feisty when I knocked on the door?” she asked.
“Well, to be fair, I thought you were someone else.”
“Who? The maid service?” Penny raised an eyebrow at him. “Were you really going to talk to the maid like that? How prima donna of you. Maybe I should call you Thomson Davis.” She nudged him with her shoulder, a smile on her lips.
“No, no. Tommy is fine. I like Tommy.” Mostly, he liked how warm the name sounded, coming from Penny. As if he really mattered. That was a nice feeling.
It was a few moments before she spoke again.
“I really am sorry about last night, too. I was upset. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You don’t deserve that.”
“You and I both know that I probably deserve a lot worse. I disappeared for ten years.”
“I’m sure you have your reasons.”
“They’re not good ones.” He took another drink of coffee. Of course he had reasons. Some of them were even logical. He’d been busy. He didn’t want to intrude on her life after so long.
But the simp
le truth was he’d been afraid. He wasn’t sure what of. Maybe he’d been afraid that she would be angry with him. Or maybe he’d thought she’d moved on with her life.
Or maybe he was afraid that she wouldn’t like the person he’d become.
“Maybe you don’t think so. But the Tommy Davidson I know would have a good reason.”
“Well that’s enough about me, this walk was supposed to be about you.” They came to a stop then, leaning on a railing as they looked out at the ocean. Tommy could smell the salt in the air. It was familiar to him, though different from L.A. There, you could smell everything. The salt, the smog, even the food. It was all so much simpler here.
“I don’t even know where to start.” She sighed, looking away, staring at a crack in the railing.
“The beginning is usually a good place.”
“I lied to you.” Against his will, Tommy felt his breath catch in his throat. Lied? “Kevin isn’t just my business partner.” Of course he wasn’t. That much had been obvious. “He’s my husband.”
The dull ache that passed through his chest was impossible to ignore and he turned his head, unable to look at her for a moment. Of course she’d gotten married. Of course she’d moved on with her life. What had he expected her to do? Wait for him?
He couldn’t understand why it hurt so much. Tommy hadn’t returned to Ravenside so that he could romance Penelope Lang. He’d come back so that he could find a friend again. A real friend, like he’d had all those years ago.
“Well, he was.” She sighed, setting her cup down and running her fingers through her hair.
“Is or was, Pen?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I don’t really think it is.”
“Have you ever been married?” her tone was sharp. “I didn’t think so.”
“Then explain it to me.” She wouldn’t look at him. “Hey, I won’t think any differently, Penny, no matter what the story is.”
“You don’t know that.” There were tears in her eyes now and, as usual, Tommy felt the urge to pull her into him and hold her there. To protect her from whatever pain she was suffering from.
But he couldn’t do that. Not now. She belonged to someone else.
“I do know that, Penny. Just tell me.” She wiped angrily at her tears, leaning over on the railing again.
“We started dating senior year. Got married after college. Bought the restaurant. I thought we were good together, you know? We were happy.”
“What happened?” Tommy’s imagination was only providing him with the wildest of possibilities. Kevin confessed he was gay. Or maybe it was Penny who realized she had feelings for someone—perhaps Amy? They were living together, after all.
“I hired a woman to help manage The Seaside. Gina. She seemed like she was really passionate about the place, and that was exactly what I wanted. Fresh out of college, all these new ideas…” She shook her head. “The truth was, though, it wasn’t the restaurant she was passionate about. It was my husband.”
As she told him the details about finding them in the parking lot, Tommy was suddenly filled with rage. He couldn’t believe what he hearing.
Kevin had cheated on her? That hadn’t even been in the realm of possibilities. Tommy had figured that, in order for a relationship with Penny to fail, it would have to be something pretty dramatic. But something as ordinary as adultery? What kind of an idiot was this guy?
“Penny, why would you think for even just a second that Kevin being an ass would in any way change the way I think about you?”
“I don’t know, because you’re a guy? And maybe you’d relate to him. I had to have done something wrong, right? I mean, he wouldn’t have messed around with Gina if I had been a good enough wife.”
“That’s just…” Tommy reached out, lifting her chin so that she had no choice but to look him in the eye. “This was not your fault, Penny. If Kevin wasn’t happy, he should have been a man and told you that.”
“But maybe I—”
“No,” he shook his head. “This was his fault.” Tommy just couldn’t believe it. Kevin had been lucky enough to be given a shot by Penny, and what had he done? Thrown it away. He’d thrown it all away.
“I just feel like there was something more I should have done. I don’t know.” She shook her head, stepping away from him to sit on a nearby bench. Tommy followed, though rather than sit down beside her, he leaned against a light post.
“It’s his loss.”
“Well, no—it might actually be mine.” She dropped her head into her hands. “So far, the divorce has been uncontested. I just want it done and over with—to put it all behind me. So I let him have everything—all of it, except The Seaside. We bought into it fifty-fifty, and I figured we could make it work. We’re both mature adults.”
“But?” But Tommy already knew what was coming next.
“Last night he told me that Gina wants out. She wants me to buy them out, or they’re going to demand we sell it.” Tommy muttered a few choice words under his breath.
“So then you’ll buy them out. That place is your dream, Pen—”
“Except that I can’t. I’m taking a lump cash settlement from the divorce—half of what he sold the house for, but that won’t even hardly put a dent into what I’d need to pay for his half. And I’m pretty sure I won’t get approved for a second mortgage, and even if I could, I’m not sure I could afford it.”
“You can’t sell.”
“I’m afraid I’m not going to have much choice.” Penny looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “This wasn’t how my life was supposed to go, you know?”
“Sometimes, things just don’t go according to plan.” Tommy was well aware of that. She sighed loudly, brushing away her tears.
“Oh well, I’ll figure something out. I still have time.” She shrugged her shoulders, rising to her feet. “Enough with all of this. How about we go do some of that shopping you were talking about?”
He knew that she was through with the subject for now. She’d told him the truth, but now she wanted to pretend she hadn’t. She wanted to forget about all of it.
Tommy didn’t know this because he knew Penny so well, although part of him was beginning to think that he still did. No, he knew all of this because this was the exact reason he’d come back to Ravenside.
He wanted to forget all about the problems waiting for him back home.
He wanted to forget about the tabloids, about the fights, about his career.
All he wanted to do was spend the day with the one and only girl he’d ever been able to be himself around.
Chapter Four
Penny clung to Tommy as if her life depended on it.
Partially because it did.
And partially because she had missed him so much.
The wind was loud, the engine louder. Tommy navigated the motorcycle like a pro, as if it was an extension of himself. She knew that he liked the freedom—the wind, the speed, the danger. Tommy had always lived on the edge.
Normally, Penny was not a risk taker. She drove a small sedan and she always wore her seatbelt. She ate her meat medium-well. She never gambled.
But here she was, on the back of a bike, speeding down a tree lined street. And she wasn’t even afraid, really.
They had spent the afternoon shopping. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. They’d taken an hour or so to actually shop, Tommy just buying a few pairs of jeans and some t-shirts right off the rack. The rest of the afternoon had been spent trying on goofy outfits and reminiscing about all of the costumes they had worn during their plays.
Now, they were on the way back to the motel, the day coming to a close. The sun was already beginning to set, summer officially over and autumn creeping in. Everything was a blur as they drove by, but she could see the vivid reds and oranges of the leaves.
It was so beautiful, she thought.
The bike rolled to a stop as they came up to a light and Penny leaned forward, so that she was
impossibly closer to him. “Hey, do you have plans tonight?”
“I’m pretty sure my social calendar is empty right about now, Pen. What’d you have in mind?” She imagined, briefly, how close they would be to one another if not for the helmets they wore.
“You want to come over to Amy’s for dinner tonight? She’s been pestering me about inviting you over.”
“I’d love to.” He told her, the engine roaring back to life as they passed through town. It was only a moment before they arrived at the motel.
Penny immediately noticed a very flashy car parked near Tommy’s room, an equally as flashy man leaning against it. She pulled her helmet off the moment the bike stopped, Tommy doing the same. “They belong to you?” she asked, nodding toward the man. Tommy swore quietly.
“Unfortunately.” He groaned, holding his arm so that Penny could use it to balance herself as she climbed off the bike. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it. She was suddenly very conscientious of her appearance as she felt this newcomer studying her.
Obviously, this man had high standards. She was quite certain that she would not meet them as she glanced down at her worn jeans and plain gray sweater. No, she was certain she wouldn’t even come close.
“So this is the reason you’ve come to this rink-a-dink little town.” The man removed his sunglasses, tucking them into his pocket as he approached them. Penny wasn’t sure if she should be offended or flattered. “My name is Graham. And you are…?”
Penny took the man’s outstretched hand. “Penelope,” she told him, both her tone and eyes guarded.
“So you are,” he gave her another once over. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, Tom?”
“I thought that’s what you were already doing.” Penny watched as Tommy glared at the other man. “Penny, this is Graham Walters. He’s my manager.”
“You must be a friend of Tom’s.”
“You must not be.” She had taken an instant disliking to this man. Graham only laughed.
“Well, I can definitely see the appeal.” Graham laughed again, nodding his head this time. “I was hoping we could talk business, Tom. You’ve kind of left things in a little bit of an uproar back home. But if you’re busy, I can always come back.”
Playing at Forever Page 5
