by Kathy Love
“I really think it will attract more customers. Even though it’s treated like a joke, people really enjoy karaoke.”
She carried the emptied dishes down to the sink where he was washing mugs. He didn’t look at her as she stopped beside him, waiting her turn at the sink. He breathed in her wonderful scent, and felt her warmth stroking his skin.
“A guilty pleasure, you know.”
Christian’s head snapped up. “What?”
“Karaoke,” she said, with one of her indulgent smiles. “It’s sort of a guilty pleasure for people.”
“Oh, right.” He busied himself again with the mugs, some of which he was pretty sure he’d washed already. How could he be feeling this? He wanted to groan out loud with frustration. And she stood altogether too close to him, completely oblivious to the fact he wanted to… Argh! He didn’t even know what he wanted to do.
“Maybe I should make up flyers or something saying that karaoke has returned to Leo’s. Maybe something like” — her arm brushed his as she framed an imaginary flyer in the air with her hands—” ‘Just when you thought it would never happen again. It’s back. Or ‘Never say never. Karaoke is back at Leo’s. »
She was kidding, right? Just when you thought it would never happen again? Never say never? He knew she couldn’t possibly know of his past feelings about mortals and sex. But someone, somewhere had to be playing an enormous joke on him.
“Those might not be very good,” she decided, her arm brushing his again as she dropped her hands back to the bar. The brief, innocuous touch sent ripples of yearning straight through him. How could this be?
Then she nudged him with her shoulder. “Come on, Christian, don’t tell me my grand karaoke promotion is boring you.”
“No,” he murmured.
“I can tell it is.” She smiled indulgently, still oblivious to the fact that he raged with need for her.
“That’s okay,” she told him, not referring to the emotions eating at him. “I need to go cash out anyway.”
She then looped an arm around his back, giving him a quick squeeze. “Thanks for your help. I really do appreciate it.”
He nodded, keeping himself rigid, afraid if he moved at all he’d grab her against him… and what?
She disappeared into the back, and he let out the breath he had pent up deep in his chest. Just when he thought he’d discovered the lowest level of hell, he seemed to find another one far lower. This was torture.
“Just go for it, boy,” Jed said from where he leaned on his mop in the doorway of the men’s room.
Christian must have been so engrossed in every detail of Jolee that he didn’t notice the old man watching them.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Christian scrubbed a mug with unnecessary fervor.
He heard Jed amble toward the bar.
“Sure you do. You watched her all night like you’d like to eat her up. Or maybe just a nibble here and there, eh?” Jed wiggled his bushy white eyebrows.
Christian tried to look apathetic, but the imagery that went along with that description was far too intriguing and accurate.
“We’re just friends,” he told Jed, determined to stick to that arrangement.
“She’ll be more than friends,” Jed informed him.
“Why?” Why would a sweet mortal like Jolee want an eternally damned vampire like himself?
“Take a gander in that mirror over there.” Jed gestured to the glass behind the bar, which was mostly concealed by bottles. “I still say you are prettier than a man has any business being, but I reckon a lady likes that.”
Christian didn’t know how he felt about Jed’s comment on many counts, but he had pointed out the truth. Vampires were abnormally attractive, and maybe Jolee would fall for his looks, but that was all he had to offer her.
“And you look out for her,” Jed added with a nod of approval. “Looks and a protectin’ nature. That’ll get you far.”
Christian would have laughed at the old man’s take on relationships if he didn’t feel so troubled by the fact that he even wanted her in the first place. This shouldn’t be a problem. He should be able to find Jed’s words amusing, rather than having possibilities.
“What are you two talking about?” Jolee said when she walked out of her office.
“Talking about this and that,” Jed said, then yawned. “But this old geezer needs to hit the sack. Old bones— something you two wouldn’t know about.”
Christian raised an eyebrow. Oh, he had old bones, all right. And they shouldn’t be attracted to Jolee.
Jed wagged his eyebrows one more time at Christian, then left.
Christian concentrated on finishing up the dishes.
“Jed has really taken a liking to you,” Jolee said after she wished the old man good night and locked up behind him.
“Jed is a nice mo— man,” he said, placing the clean mugs on their shelves under the bar. He was surprised, but he did really feel that way. He was also a bit of a meddler, but he meant well, Christian supposed.
“Okay, done,” he said with relief as he rinsed out the last of the ashtrays. He needed to get some space between himself and Jolee so he could figure out how to end this pesky attraction. She took the cleaned ashtrays and returned them to the tables.
“Okay.” She sighed. “The place looks great.”
He tried to look at the place, but his eyes were on her. As they always were whenever she was near.
She smiled at him, pride and happiness in her eyes. “Let’s go home.”
Jolee slid into the passenger seat of Christian’s car. He had, of course, offered her a ride home, but she could have sworn he was reluctant to do so. She chose to ignore it. She was too happy at the moment, and happiness had been a rare commodity of late.
This time, since she had been mostly senseless the first time, she really looked around his impressive car. The dashboard lit up with different buttons and knobs and an expensive sound system.
“Wow, I feel like I’m in Batman’s car.” She grinned at him, but he didn’t smile back. Not even one of his half-smiles. In fact, he looked rather annoyed. “I’m sorry. That was just a joke.”
“Yes, I got it.”
She sighed, not sure what had him in a mood. He really could be ridiculously moody. She supposed it could be his hypoglycemia. In which case, he needed to be more vigilant about keeping food with him.
“I think maybe you should carry crackers with you,” she said. “Or maybe juice. There is always orange juice at the bar, so you can drink that anytime you need to.”
He glanced over at her, his brows drawn tight over his narrowed eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Food. You obviously need to eat. Look at you now, getting all grouchy for no good reason.”
“I’m not grouchy.” She shrugged, but didn’t believe him. They pulled into the road to their trailers. He maneuvered the car into her driveway and waited for her to get out.
“Do you want to come in?” She knew it was well after two A.M., but she also knew from many nights of walking home late at night that he was usually up anyway. Although she wasn’t quite sure why she even wanted him to come in.
No, that wasn’t true, she did know why. She wanted to spend time with the Christian who’d arrived at Leo’s tonight. The one who insisted on working at the bar. The one who stood by her, even when she thought she didn’t need him. The one who’d kissed her last night.
She knew she should just disregard any of her feelings involving attraction. She’d told herself several times through the course of the evening that she wasn’t going to be interested in him in any way aside from a friend. But her traitorous mind always returned to their kiss.
Their kiss had been the kind a woman would remember years from now when she was old and gray. The type of kiss that she’d always thought only happened in fairy tales. Not real. But now she knew there were kisses that made the earth move and fireworks explode. She’d also be lying if she said she didn�
��t want more. But she would settle for friendship, because the truth was she needed that just as much, if not more than, any kiss, even an earthshaking one.
“I don’t have much in my fridge, but I could fix us something,” she offered.
Christian shook his head. “I need to get home. But thank you.”
She nodded, feeling a little forlorn. The reaction confused her. She’d really enjoyed work, even though it had remained slow. The karaoke was a success. The customers joined in. She actually felt good, but for some reason, she didn’t want to be alone. Maybe because she wanted to share her joy with someone. Despite her disappointment, she smiled anyway and opened the car door.
“Good night, then. See you tomorrow?”
He nodded, although there was bleakness in his eyes that made her wonder. She wished she understood this man.
She slammed the door shut and headed into her trailer. Following her nightly ritual, she walked straight to her bedroom, turning on lights along the way. As frugal as she tried to be, electricity was one thing she splurged on. She didn’t like darkness, especially in this old rundown place. For some reason it made her uneasy.
She reached her bedroom, a tiny square room at the very end of the trailer, just like Christian’s. An image of him lying on his bed flashed in her mind. All smooth skin and hard muscles.
She glanced at her bed, covered with a Strawberry Shortcake comforter that she gotten for five dollars at a yard sale when she moved here. She told herself it was such a good deal she couldn’t pass it up. But secretly, she also wanted it. Strawberry Shortcake had been popular when she was younger and she’d never had any of the toys. She pictured Christian lying amongst the pink bows and red strawberries. Even pink bows wouldn’t detract from the sheer masculinity of him.
She stopped looking at her bed and twisted the silver knob on her radio. A pop song from the sixties filled the silence. Not as good as real company, but the tune was cheerful and made her feel less alone. She opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas, light blue boxer-style shorts and a matching camisole top. A picture of a sassy-looking fairy decorated the front of the top with the word «Naughty» scrawled underneath in glittery script. Another bargain purchase.
Christian would seriously wonder about her taste, and her age, if he saw the bedspread and the pajamas together. She chuckled. Well, that wasn’t likely anyway. Christian certainly hadn’t shown any signs of being interested in her tonight. In fact, he’d kept plenty of distance between them. She had to forget his kiss or she was going to make herself insane.
She changed into her PJs, assuring herself she just wouldn’t think about him anymore tonight. Naked on pink bows and red strawberries. Kissing her with gentle, worshipping brushes of his lips.
Groaning, she tugged on her top. This wasn’t working. She marched to the bathroom to wash her face. With very cold water.
She’d just finished drying her now tingling cheeks when there was a loud, almost impatient knock on her front door. Startled, she threw the towel over the rack by the sink and hurried to see who was there, hoping it wasn’t Vance again. Relief swept over her as she saw Christian’s handsome face in the window.
“Hi,” she said, both surprised and curious about why he’d changed his mind.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.” She stepped back, holding the door.
He entered, his hands in the pockets of the black pants he’d worn to work. He also had on the same black silk shirt from earlier. A night of bartending, and he still looked like he’d walked out of a designer clothing ad.
He even had the sexily pensive expression down as he strolled into her almost empty living room and glanced around. Finally his gaze found its way back to her.
She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling self-conscious in her cotton pajamas with her freshly scrubbed face. The fact that he was just staring at her with those contemplative eyes didn’t help.
“Are you all right?” she finally asked.
“I don’t think so.” He shook his head slightly as if to clear some vision or thought from his mind. His eyes focused on her, his gaze wandering over her.
Her body reacted, even though she didn’t get the feeling that his look was one of desire. He appeared almost pained.
“What is it? Do you need to eat?” she asked, stepping closer to him.
He blinked, his attention now focused back on her face. “If only that would help.”
She took another step closer. What did he mean? Did he need to go to the hospital? His color looked fine. His eyes, while troubled, were clear. He didn’t look crazed like he had last night, only distressed.
“Is there something I can do? Do you need to go to the doctor? I’m not great with stick shifts, and your car is a little… intimidating, but I can drive you if you want.”
“A doctor wouldn’t help.”
The dullness of his voice alarmed her. “Christian, what is wrong?”
He shook his head, the strangest look of incredulity on his face. “I want you. Sexually.”
CHAPTER 13
Christian hadn’t planned to admit his desire. In fact, he’d made up his mind that he couldn’t feel this way, period. He’d told himself he would see Jolee again, and somehow his bizarre reaction to her would have disappeared.
When he’d gotten back to his trailer, he’d decided his attraction still revolved around his hunger. Maybe he’d overfed this time. And as soon as she was out of his sight, the yearning had calmed some. He still thought about her as he had for days, but he hadn’t felt so tense, and so… well, aroused. All signs that his hunger was finally leveling out, and he’d be able to think clearly around her. Then, like a fool, he’d decided to test his theories by seeing her again, tonight.
Well, his theories had failed. Miserably.
She’d opened the door, and his longing had returned, instant and fierce. Of course, the situation wasn’t helped by the fact that she was barely dressed. All long, graceful limbs and pale skin.
He’d tried not to look at her. He’d tried to tell himself that he didn’t want her. But it hadn’t worked. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her bare shoulders, the lovely line of her neck. Her breasts, firm and high under the thin material of her top. Her long, lovely legs, bare and smooth. Her feet with high arches and small toes. Pretty feet.
He nearly groaned. Never. Never had he admired a woman’s feet. Not even Lilah’s, and physically, she’d been perfection. She had been an ancient vampire, and centuries of existence had faded all her mortal flaws.
But remembering Lilah’s physical attributes didn’t blot out the beauty of Jolee. He found the woman’s feet fascinating, for God’s sake! Even the chipped, hot pink polish on her toe-nails.
He was doomed.
He forced his eyes back to her face.
Her dark eyes were wide as she stared at him. “You want me? Sexually?”
Her eyes narrowed, and he realized that rather than being shocked like he was, she was angry. In fact, she was furious. The emotion needled roughly at his flesh.
“I didn’t intend to,” he explained. “I don’t even understand why I do.” He muttered that more to himself than her.
A sudden flare in her anger distracted him from his own confusion, the feeling unpleasant on his skin.
“Well, don’t knock yourself out trying to figure it out. Because I’m not interested.”
He frowned. He’d been certain she was. He’d tasted her desire on his lips when they’d kissed. Hadn’t he? Or was that just his own desire? He really wasn’t sure anymore.
“I don’t want to be attracted to you,” he explained, trying to apologize in some way. “I just can’t seem to control my thoughts.” He glanced down, giving the erection in his pants a significant look. “Or my body.”
Joke’s eyes widened slightly, then she frowned and muttered, “Well, try.”
She stomped over to the door and opened it, giving him a look that eloquently said, Leave
. Another emotion swirled around him— hurt. The emotion was faint, nearly overshadowed by her anger, but definitely there, and also unpleasant in a different way.
Suddenly awareness hit him. He was a complete ass. She was attracted to him, and he, while admitting his attraction, was also insulting her. His words had been rather rude, now that he thought about it. She thought his dismayed reaction was because his attraction was to her in particular. Which wasn’t the case. It was because he was attracted to any mortal, although he could hardly tell her that. But he did need to tell her something. He couldn’t tolerate the feeling of her pain; the sad and injured emotion was far worse than the prickly sensation of her anger. But more than that, he couldn’t stand that he had caused her pain. Another rather shocking revelation.
“I didn’t intend to upset you,” he said, trying to figure out how to explain.
“Really? What part of your lovely admission did you think wouldn’t upset me? The part where you only want me sexually? Or the part where you don’t want to want me at all?”
“I don’t just want you sexually,” he heard himself say. Was that true? If it was, what did he want from her?
She frowned, obviously confused by his words, too. “Then what do you want?”
«I—» He didn’t know. How could he know? This was madness. “I don’t know. Since I met you, I’ve had feelings that I thought were long since dead in me.” He wanted to continue, but couldn’t sort out what the hell was going on inside himself. He wanted her sexually— he shouldn’t. He wanted her friendship— he shouldn’t. He wanted to protect her from anything that might hurt her— he shouldn’t. Unless that anything was himself.
He looked away from her, a frustrated growl sounding deep in his chest. He heard the door shut and her feet padding toward him. Her fingers touched his arm, seeming to burn him through the material of his shirt. But he didn’t pull away.
“Christian.”
Damn, he loved the soft, slow lilt of her accent. He didn’t even have to look at her to feel aroused. Her voice alone made him crazy with wanting her. But he did look.
