‘Evan?’ my voice fades into the sudden bass drop on the speakers, and a few squeals and shouts on the dance floor. It cracks, and I feel those butterflies slip from my stomach, up to flutter in my chest and then escape from my parted lips, that I cannot help but close. The girl in his clutches is a beautiful blonde with a dress that leaves little to the imagination, her busty curves, her twists of beautiful hair, her piercing eyes. She makes me feel suddenly rather dowdy in my sleek black dress with tights and heels. I watch her, the girl, tumble away from him, he pushes her with such a forceful hand that she is practically tossed onto the dance floor, left shouting a string of words, that I cannot quite catch over the heavy bass sounds and my own thundering heart, which seems to sink in my chest and reach the bottom of my stomach.
‘Elli.’ He says my name more in surprise that anything else, but it’s those eyes that keep trained upon me, the ones I refuse to meet, the ones that were staring into that girls a few seconds ago; those hands that ball into fists by the side of him, they were touching her.
‘Was I interrupting anything?’ I ask, looking down at the point of my black heels, underneath the flickers of red it picks out the dark purple varnish on my toes, even through the dark knit tights.
‘Not at all.’ I look up to him, a glance, quick and stolen and all I see is his smirk, the very smirk I first saw when I saw him in here before; surrounded by women and his friends.
‘You have a…’ I look down again, but not before touching the corner of my mouth with my finger, indicating to him that he has a little bit of lipstick, or something. Stealing another quick glance he brushes it away on his thumb and as he does, I swear it looks like blood. If his kisses are like that, there is no wonder why he leaves a trail of hollow girls behind him. I feel a slight twinge in my chest, my heartbeats match the pound of bass in my ears, as it vibrates under my skin. I didn’t mean to intrude upon him and his… fun.
‘You look nice.’ He says, and I feel his eyes wander down from my head to my toes and then back up. His eyes, they burn, I can feel them trying to reach underneath my clothes and my skin, to find the broken soul beneath.
‘She looked nicer.’ I remark, feeling the bitter twinge in my chest hurt more and more. Only losing my breath all of a sudden, it remains stranded in my throat, as he lifts his hand to my neck, his closeness rather intoxicating. I catch the smell of burnt wood and salt, of burning and cinnamon, he pulls me towards him, stepping back deeper into the alcove.
‘That’s new.’ His eyes narrow upon my neck, upon the chain he flits through his fingers, but it is not the golden ruby pendant; of course, he knows that, that was his. But he thumbs the silver ring in his palm, his eyes narrowing, eyebrows knitting low and close together as he studies it with a meticulous precision.
‘Where did you get this?’
‘You said if I had any more demonic— darker things, to tell you.’ I correct myself; just because he wears dark things, likes darker things, does not make him a bad person – his choice in girls however…
I take a step back, out of his vicinity and into the quivers of red light. I reach up and unclasp the chain from around my neck, rolling the ring from it and handing it to Evan, still I keep my eyes from his. I don’t want him to see the strain in my eyes, he might see exactly how I’m feeling, and right now I may just be a little bit jealous that it was her he was kissing and not me.
‘I didn’t think I’d see you, but I wore it just in case I saw you in passing.’ The ring sits in my palm outstretched towards him, glimmering under the pulse of light, picking out all the detailed carvings and the sapphire stone eyes of the skull. I have it on the tip of my tongue, that it reminds me of him, the stark blue stones, they match his eyes so well. But I decide against it.
‘I can’t just take it.’ Evan states.
‘You can. I’m giving it to you.’ I take a quick glance through the ringlets of brown hair that frame my face; thankful that they fall and veil over me, obscuring from his view the majority of my face – I cannot control the frown that pulls at my lips and wrinkles my eyes.
‘What do you want for it?’
‘Nothing.’ I shake my head, the silver ring rolling in my palm as I waver it, wanting him to take it, I dislike having to stand here much longer and look even more like the fool.
‘You must want something.’
‘I… got what I wanted.’ A little thought crosses my mind, and a smile twitches upon my lips before fading away.
‘What’s that?’
‘I got to see you again, to give it to you.’ My palm quivers, as do I under his unyielding gaze. His fingers reach out and I move my hand closer for him to take the ring but as he picks it up, he wraps his fingers around my hand, his touch radiating warmth through mine. This is where I cannot escape his gaze, I draw my eyes up to meet his and am stuck there, just staring.
‘You’re too good, Elli. Too good.’
‘I’m just trying to do what my sister would do.’ I admit.
‘No—‘ he starts, only to stop himself just as quickly. He holds tighter, his fingers gripping into my skin, his eyes show a great deal of emotion, a crackle of something, something like recognition flashes by and I can see him visibly struggling.
‘You’re nothing like her.’ he says, his voice so low, his lips tweaked in a way that is neither a smile nor a frown.
‘I…’ I stutter, lost in his gaze and feeling my pulse quicken as he draws me back into the darkness of the alcove, moving me so quickly, so swiftly. I am not even sure it’s my feet moving. He pushes me towards the wall, in the same fashion I had found him with the other girl – I wouldn’t mind, I really wouldn’t, but the flashes in his eyes, the darkness that creeps into the corners, which line his flawless face with wrinkles of doubt, makes me think that really, really I don’t just want to be another one of his conquests.
I am about to speak up, to wriggle free of his grip, but he places a hand directly beside my head, stopping me. I steal a glimpse of his hand, all I see is the flash of the red pentagram and the glowing eyes of the goats head, the Sigil of Baphomet.
‘Elli.’ He mouths my name, and I gaze back up at him, starting to chew on the bottom of my lip, teeth scraping at the dark purple lipstick, leaving a trail of uncoloured lips behind. He drops my hand from his and runs that now free hand over my cheek, drawing the curls from my face and slipping them behind my neck. He stares down and I can see every little detail of his face, every flawless muscle tweaking in his neck, every spark of emotion that shoots across his eyes. For the first time in my life, I do not think of my sister, I do not think of the accident, my friends, or anything.
All I want is for him to kiss me.
His face moves, inch by inch, drawing closer and closer. My hand shoots up, wanting to entangle my fingers in his hair, but instead curls at the hem of my dress, distracting myself from my deafening heartbeats that echo alongside the pulse of blood in my ears.
‘You’re not her.’ he says, his lips so close to my face, I can see every little ridge, every little mark, and still a speck of red that taints the corner. ‘You’re too good, you’re better than her.’ he uses his thumb to trace the contour of my cheek, leaving imprints of what feels like flame against my skin, still inches away from me, so close I can smell the vague sweetness on his breath of whisky and coke.
‘You’re too good for me.’ he sighs, the exhale of breath deflates him, as well as myself. He drops the hand from my face and curls it tightly by his side, the other still remains against the wall, where he props his head, right beside mine, his forehead knocking into the wall, ever so gently, ever so slight.
It’s a mistake. He is making a mistake. Why would he want me when he can have anyone here?
And he’s admitting it, but dropping me in a nice (if dropping someone can ever be considered nice.) and gentle way, by complimenting me. Too good for him? Madi would be too good for him, but me? I’m not even in his league.
I tear away from the wall; even in heele
d shoes I can make a getaway that rivals the drunks. I sway slightly, finding the nook of the staircase and grabbing hold, stopping for a moment to take a breath. The breath that I have held onto since he pulled me to him, it finally falls from my lips as I go to step out of the darkness. I catch a glimpse of Liv and Jade coming through the dance floor, they wave an arm, mouthing a few words I cannot understand, I go to reach out, to run out of the dark corner, but I’m stuck on a nail, a loose bit of wood. I look back, ready to unhook myself, but I find his hand upon my shoulder, his fingers gripping a tight hold on my sleeve.
‘You don’t know how hard it is, to look at something you cannot reach, someone you cannot have.’
‘Believe me, I know.’ I wheeze, ready to tear myself away, but he stops me again, I do not look at him this time, but stare out into the flashes of red and blue, they dazzle and strike at the ground in a mismatch of patterns. I see Liv wave, a suggestive wink, but everything happens so slowly, every step seems like a few minutes. Time seems to stand still, and all I hear his Evan’s voice by my ear, feel both of his hands clutching at my shoulders.
‘You’re different, Elli. You’re unlike anyone else, it’s because of that…’
‘How can a Prince, how can someone like you be seen with me? I get it, Evan, its fine.’
‘It’s because of that, I want you.’
When I turn around, feeling a flush of colour rise to my cheeks, he is gone. I’m left standing in the darkness, alone, feeling the thrum of music drown out my heartbeats, which feel as though they have just stopped. I turn around, taking a step forward, but as I do a warm breeze flutters against my face and in its touch I find a softness stroke my cheek. I lift my hand and capture the soft fluff in my grasp and as I stare down I see the downy feather, all black and tufty.
He’s gone.
Evander –
There are things you can say to a demon that you can never say to a human; one of them is that you wanted them. Wanted them. In a way that is not at all normal, in a way a demon should never want a human. There is the soul, the wispy life-force that we deal in as currency, how we bind our contracts. Then there are the hearts – the organ that beats their lifeblood through their veins, the organ that causes many an ache and woe. With Elli, with her soft chocolate eyes, her weary mind, her kind heart, I want it all. The soul, the heart and her body. I am a guy after all, a very fiery guy that knows exactly what he wants. But this, this human girl, this mess I’ve gotten myself into, I don’t know what to do anymore.
I know I’m probably doing the wrong thing, being here, sitting in full view of humans, smelling their desires, hearing their heart’s wants. Every time someone walks by, I can hear every little thing they are thinking about.
I want to mortgage my house, I need money, and I would kill for a bigger pay cheque.
I wish James would notice me, I want him so badly.
All I want is to follow my dream, that’s all I want.
I would give anything for that, anything.
I pull my hoodie up, concealing my face, my ears, hoping to not be drowned by their desires, their innermost feelings. I’ve noticed something about humans, if you crack them open, they are as dark as we are inside. If you explore their mind, you can find yourself in a labyrinth of shady secrets. They preach with their bibles, they scare people with the wrath of their God, to silence them of their sins, but every day they are committing each deadly one. They are hypocrites, these breathing, heart-beating creatures, hypocrites with their flimsy beliefs and their inner secrets. The deeper you dig into a human’s life, the darker it gets, it can even rival my own, and my life in Hell has been far from sunny.
The table creaks and whines as I drum my fingertips on the surface; the slick shine the lemon scented cleanser has left is reflecting the table over from me. Two girls, two gossiping girls, sipping cappuccinos and sharing a slice of chocolate cake
Sin. Everywhere is sin.
‘She was so gutted last night when we came back, did you see her go straight to her room?’
‘She hasn’t had a good time really, not with dating. You remember how Madi was.’
‘Liv, you can’t speak of the dead like that… what if she hears?’
My fingers trace the rim of my full black coffee, trailing over the ceramic white edge. The Jumping Bean is alive with activity, but it these two girls I am intrigued by. These two were with Elli, her little buddies, her little girlfriends. I listen, a slight smirk playing upon my lips from the last comment by the blonde. Why yes, I can imagine Madison hearing you from where she is. All the way underground, through the pits of fire and the core of black… Like you gossiping behind her back is the only trouble she has.
‘Jade I know, but she wasn’t fair on Elli, you know?’
‘There was that one guy… what was his name?’
My finger stops trailing the rim, instead I focus on hearing them, focusing my eyes to see the reflection of their moving lips, their giggling faces.
‘I don’t know… he’s the one that gave her that hoodie – did you know she still has that?’
‘The one at the back of her wardrobe, with all of Madi’s stuff?’
A smirk twists upon my face; do I have competition? Is that why this is so hard, because somewhere out there is someone else who has caught her attention? I continue to listen, drowning out the beats of the heart of the black haired girl; she wants someone, she wants someone with all of her body, her soul. I can’t get the image of who it is, but the attraction, the lust, it shows strongly, like fluorescent lights pulsing against her face, through her veins, from her heart.
When you play the game of hearts, many become broken.
‘I must admit though, Elli has pretty good taste.’ The blonde laughs, an airy, quaint little laugh.
‘That Evan, he is something. I can’t believe he would want to touch a skanky little slut from Avalon, when he could have Elli. She’s just so perfect for him.’
‘Maybe she’s just too perfect for him.’
I recall my conversation with Elli last night, beneath the stairs. My fingers twist the ring she gave me around my finger, once, twice. She is too perfect, too good for me. I am the darkness and she the light, how can that even work when both overshadow each other?
‘If I see that guy, I would give him a piece of my mind.’
‘And a piece of Liv’s mind would work on a guy like him?’
I chuckle, dark and short. The chuckle catches the eye from a passing stranger and they stop, only when I look up, pulling down my hood, do I realise just who it is.
‘Evan?’
Elli’s words not only pull me, but they tug at her friends, who immediately bundle out of their chairs. They flush a daring shade of crimson when they see me, especially Liv who refuses to meet my eyes. I slide out of my chair, just as Elli goes to greet her friends, I shoot out my hand to grab at her arm, intending to be a gentle tug but by the way she shudders at my touch and winces, I must have grabbed at her too much.
Her coffee eyes haze over, in a way that I am sure tears are promised; they sparkle against the light of the Mall, which brightens her pure face. They do not look at me though, so I resort to a husky voice, low and only for her benefit.
‘Have you got a minute?’
She does not answer, it is Liv who does, with her glare, which even with rosy cheeks, is more frightening than Hecate’s furious eyes, which can actually scorch you with the flames of Hell. Her fiery words matching Hecate’s growl to the very point, I can feel ice frosting over my bones, chilling me to the core.
Why are humans so complex?
‘She’s got a minute, not for you.’
‘It’s okay, Liv.’ Ellison murmurs, her eyes finally finding mine; for but a moment I can see she is struggling with something, every inch of her longs to pull away, wants to be out of my sight. This one, this Rose sister, she is far more delicate, far more sensitive. Like the rose that blooms in winter, the one most beautiful but has all the hardships to contend
with. She bunches together when faced with the frostiness of life, hiding herself beneath the snow, the harshness. Only to resurface when it melts away, when adversity fades. She is far too delicate, far too fragile for me. To even touch her, to brush a strand of hair from her face, I am sure I will chip her.
I take my hand from her, loosening my grip so that my hand falls lax by my side. Her eyes glide over my skin, finding the ring that shines against my porcelain flesh. She just stares for a silent moment, the inner workings of her mind creaking, changing course.
‘Do you want coffee?’ Jade asks, her pink lips smiling, revealing a bright toothy smile. She is unlike the black haired girl, she is bright, like a star, shining as a guiding light. No wonder Elli is attracted to her. When you’re broken, when you’re in need of help, look toward the light to lead you from the darkness.
That’s why I want you, Elli. I need your light, I don’t care if it’s wrong.
‘No, I just need to pop to the bank for some change…’ she looks between the three of us, her mind probably jumping to conclusions. ‘Charlie will be waiting.’
‘You sure?’ Liv asks and Elli smiles, so sweet, so painful. This girl is still healing, this beautiful doll has many broken parts. She longs for her sister, she longs for the pain to just go away.
Just say the words, Elli, I can do anything for you.
I long to say it, to take her hand and rake my hands through her hair, tell her she can have everything, anything. But in the same beat of her throbbing heart, I want to walk away, leave things as they are. This is dangerous ground, a minefield is easier to navigate.
‘Elli, can I talk to you, please?’ my words touch her, in a way that makes her eyes brighten, her lower lip curl back into itself. I see from the corner of my eye, Liv raising a hand, her dark ringed eyes narrowing upon me, but Jade takes her by the wrist and pulls her back into The Jumping Bean. Waving at Elli and saying they’ll see her later.
‘What is it, Evan? Do you not want the ring? Do you want a refund—’
‘You saw something last night that upset you.’ I am blunt, too blunt, to the point and quickly. I cannot dawdle on this, not when flashes of memory pass my mind. How can that possibly hurt someone, how can you fall into a poisonous flower’s trap so soon? Why Elli?
Grey October (East Hollow Chronicles) Page 14
