by S. K. Lessly
“Baby Doll, you have definitely hit the jackpot. Santos heard all about you. He actually came to see you fight. And get this; he said he was so impressed with you. He wants to buy you from me.”
My eyes grew. “No, Ramone! What the hell-”
He placed his hands up. “Just calm down. Hold on a second…”
I leaned into him. “Don’t tell me to calm the hell down. You just told me that a drug cartel kingpin has just offered to buy me… Buy me! I’m not for fucking sale. Hell, I shouldn’t be here to begin with. You need to call Martins…”
Ramone, eyes blazing red with rage, gripped me by my throat and squeezed. Of course, I panicked and grabbed at his wrists. “You listen to me, you bitch!” he spat. “I will walk right over there and tell them you’re the one that took their precious girl. I’ll then take them directly to her. I’m sure they would reward me handsomely for the find.”
Shit… I’m in trouble.
“What you better do is act like you have some sense. Don’t fucking embarrass me and everything will be fine.” He finally released me, and I doubled over trying to catch my breath and resisted the urge to kick him in his nuts. “You just have to fight in a few more bouts, okay? Just a few more. Everything is falling into place. We want him to want you. Martins is completely on board. You don’t have to worry about that.”
I stood up still coughing and moved back from him slightly. He was losing it completely.
He went to touch me, and I backed up, again, not wanting his hands on me ever.
“Look, I’m sorry about all that. I just need you to be on board, okay?”
I cleared my throat and said softly, “Yeah okay… Can I go now?”
“Actually, no, they want to see you in one more fight. You think you can give them a show?” He smiled at me, and if my throat weren’t on fire, I would have gagged.
But I just nodded, and his smile grew even more.
*****
Soaking in my bathtub to placate my body with a bottle of wine to ease my mind had become a ritual. The My Life CD by Mary J played on repeat, seducing my ears with her pain, something I could definitely relate to right now. I closed my eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. Things were getting harder and harder for me. I wasn’t sure I could last. I was in something so deep, and I had no clue how to get out. The last fight Ramone asked me to stay was with someone that Santos had brought with him, a black girl that had some skills. She got a few good hits on me, which is why I was trying to soak the pain away.
The fight lasted longer than I had anticipated. I tried to give a good show, but I was tired and sore, and I just wanted out of there fast. I didn’t trust Santos, and I was beginning not to trust Ramone, not that I trusted him much before. I didn’t think he was working for the Feds anymore, and that was the scariest thing for me. I didn’t know how long I had before he spilled the beans for his own selfish gain. It’s possible that he had already blown the whistle about Noelle. I needed to move her, but I didn’t have a clue on how to do it or where to take her. I needed help but didn’t know who to turn to.
My mind shifted slightly to Bradley. It was torture leaving him in the middle of the night. Being with him at the House of Blues had been amazing. All we did was talk and listen to music, and enjoyed each other like we used to do. I hated hearing my cell go off, and I hated having to get out of bed in the wee hours of the night. I know Brad was not going to let this happen for very long. He wasn’t going to continue to let me leave in the middle of the night without explanation. I just couldn’t get up the nerve to tell him what was happening.
Maybe I’m completely over my head with both the Feds and Brad. Maybe I should just let him be. Maybe I should…
Bang! Bang! Bang!
I looked out my bathroom door and wished instantly that I had my mom’s gun in there with me instead of in my nightstand.
The knocking started up again, urgently this time, and I thought it could have been Noelle.
I stood from my bath and climbed out. I tried to at least dry my legs quickly before I grabbed my knee length robe and headed to my door.
“Yes?”
“Ayana, open the door,” I heard Brad say.
I looked over at my microwave and saw it was about 1:30 in the morning.
Brad started knocking again.
I wrapped my robe tighter and opened the door.
“Is everything okay?” I had asked him as he whirled passed me. I locked the door behind him then slowly turned around.
The moment I turned, he brought his hands to my face and kissed me. I kissed him back of course, but I didn’t move my hand from the doorknob. Hell, I needed the doorknob for leverage. He attacked ravenously using his beautiful lips as his weapons.
When he parted, he looked heavily in my eyes. “I know it’s late,” he said softly. “But so much has happened today. I needed to see you.”
He brought his hand to the back of my hair and pulled my tie away, letting my hair fall. He then ran his hands through, seemingly entranced in the movement of his hands or the way my hair fell away in his touch.
“What’s going on?” I asked him, trying to bring him back to me.
He took a deep breath and smiled. “I called my boss back in Houston and told him I was thinking about relocating back home.”
I inhaled sharply. I know I probably looked as scared and excited as I felt because his smiled deepened.
“I had asked if he knew of a good hospital where I could possibly complete my fellowship and be under a good surgeon. Well, my boss, my mentor, actually called one of the top cardio surgeons in Dallas and that surgeon called me today asking to meet and talk. I thought he would be a great person to help me, a contact that could get me in somewhere within the city. Baby, he was more than that. He actually asked me to scrub in with him on a routine surgery that actually turned into me spending the entire day with the man. There were two emergency cases that came in and the patients needed open-heart surgeries in both. He asked me to scrub with him for both of those. I mean, baby, I was wrist deep in blood and guts with this man and at the end of the day, he offered me the fellowship.”
“Bradley…” I whispered and smiled, tears filling my eyes. He seemed so excited and charged that I couldn’t help but feel his excitement.
He nodded his head. “Everything is coming together, which is why I’m here. I came straight from the hospital because I need to know something, Ayana.”
He moved closer to me, and I felt my door instantly at my back.
“What?” I asked in a voice that didn’t seem like my own.
Hands still on the sides of my face, he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. “Point blank Ana, baby, I need to know if this is truly what you want. Is what you said to me last night true, that you want to give yourself to me because baby you’re what I want. You’ve always been who I’ve wanted, who I’ve dreamed about having in my life, in my corner. I just I need to be sure. I can’t go through the bullshit again, Ayana. If I’m what you want…”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached my hands in his hair, moved to the tips of my toes and brought his lips crashing on mine. I kissed him hungrily but starved at the same time. I needed to feed off him because I knew if I didn’t have him, I’d die.
Our tongues danced and caressed each other, feeding a desire in me only he could, making me lose my mind in the only way he could. I broke our kiss only to whisper to his lips. “I love you, Bradley.”
He moved back from me and looked intently into my eyes, searching, watching for the truth, and I hope he saw it. I hope he felt it in my touch, in my kiss. I’ve never wanted any man more than I’ve wanted him. Hell, I’ve never wanted any other man period. I didn’t know if he knew that or not, but I would do my best to make sure he did and that he never forgets it. All feelings of doubt kissed away, I wanted my man.
I caressed his face and smiled. He brought his forehead down to mine and closed his eyes. “I love you too, Ayana. I love you so fucking much.�
�
He again crashed his lips to mine, and I felt him go for the tie on my robe. As you can imagine, I completely forgot the pain I was in until his hands touched the side of my waist and moved up to my ribcage.
“Ouch!”
He broke away quickly, and I tried to close my robe.
His face instantly etched with concern. “What the… baby, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lied.
But as you could imagine, he wasn’t taking that as an answer.
His hands moved to my robe and I tried to stop him. “Bradley, I said it was nothing. I’m just sore that’s all.”
“Yeah, sore from what?” he said, brows still furrowed.
“Kickboxing,” I cringed at my half-truth.
Still not buying it, he used a little more force to break my hands away from my robe. “Kickboxing since when? Stop fighting and let me see.”
Think, Ayana.
I decided to stay with the half-truth story and said, “I’ve been taking classes and we sometimes spar with each other. I took a few shots that have me sore, that’s all.”
He searched my eyes again for the truth. He dropped his hands from the robe, apparently satisfied, and looked at me. I moved from between him and the door as he said to me, “Okay, so if that’s the truth let me see.”
Keeping my robe closed, I turned to face him. “It looks worse than it feels.”
“Uh-huh, let me see.”
I shook my head. “Seriously, there’s no need to have a doctor see it or go to the ER. I can’t afford that anyway.”
“Ayana,” Bradley said moving closer to me.
I shook my head starting to feel myself breaking.
“Bradley, seriously this is no big deal.” I told him, my voice barely a whisper.
“Yeah,” he countered, gently pulling at my heart…the bastard. “Just let me see.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my hands, leaving my robe open to him. I felt him move closer to me, then felt his hands touch my shoulders. He moved my robe slowly down my arms until it fell gently to the floor.
I couldn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to see the look in his eyes. I knew it looked bad. It felt like hell.
I waited patiently for him to touch me, but I didn’t feel anything. I finally opened my eyes and saw how unhappy he truly was. Shit.
He took an exasperated breath. “Come on.” He walked past me and headed toward the back of my apartment, past my living and dining area and kitchen. I saw him glance in bathroom, but he kept moving into my bedroom. “Lie on the bed.”
I did as instructed as quickly as I could. From the sound of his voice, either he was completely pissed at me or this was his professional voice, in which case he really needed to work on his bedside manners. However, I think it’s safe to say he was pissed.
As he left the room and headed to my bathroom, I yelled behind him, “I have some miracle cream that helps with the swelling. It stinks really badly, but it works.”
I didn’t hear a reply. Instead, I heard him turn my music off and I heard the water being released from my bath.
I then heard my front door close.
Shit, did he leave?
He wouldn’t do that without saying anything, would he? Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. He would actually and he’d be well within his right. I don’t know what’s going on in his head but it can’t be good. I hadn’t once mentioned to him that I took kickboxing classes. From all the conversations we had, that bit of information never came up.
God, I can only imagine what he must be thinking. I slowly rose from my bed in search of my phone to call him. I needed to explain myself in some way. When I started to get up, I heard my door open and close, then Bradley appeared in the doorway.
“Didn’t I say lie down?”
Brad walked in my room with a duffle bag and a smaller black bag in his hands. He dropped the duffle by my closet and moved to the side of the bed. “Lie down, Ana.” His voice was a little softer, so maybe he wasn’t that pissed.
I did as I was told and he looked down at the two huge purple looking bruises on my torso. His hands went to them, and I hissed and writhed as he examined me.
“I’m sorry, I know this hurts, but I need to check you out. I know you don’t have any broken bones or you’d be in far more pain than you are now, but I want to check for anything else.”
“Like what?” I asked him, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he continued to examine me.
“How long have you been fighting?”
“A few months,” I hissed, through clenched teeth.
Brad looked in his bag and pulled out a stethoscope. I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “I only thought doctors carry a bag like that in the movies.”
He didn’t reply.
So much for lightening the mood, I guess.
I remained quiet, as he looked me over, checked my vitals, proving to himself I was indeed fine. When he was done, he just looked at me. “And you didn’t tell me because?”
I reached over to grab the side of my cover and threw it over my naked body.
“I didn’t think you would approve. I don’t do it all the time. I mean, I’ve learned to defend myself, to channel some anger I was battling through. It was that or pills, and I vowed never to do that again.”
I said some truth there. Again, I’m going with half-truths here. I couldn’t give him everything. I just couldn’t do that yet.
“Where’s the cream you mentioned?”
I told him where it was, and he went to get it and the bandage I had on the floor of my bathroom. Brad applied some of the mixture on my body, then wrapped the bandage tightly around the bruised area. “You take anything for the pain?” he asked me.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No, I’ll be alright.”
Bradley then removed his clothes down to his underwear and got in the bed next to me. I felt weird with him next to me. It was my punishment alone to feel the springs of this horrible bed in my back.
I sat up and looked down at him. “Are you sure you want to stay here? I mean, we can go back to your brother’s house if you want.”
“Lie down, Ayana. I’m not going anywhere.”
He gently pulled me down, resting my head on the pillow behind me. He then moved to his side and faced me. “First let me say that I wouldn’t have judged you on what you do to keep yourself clean. I’m not saying I’m happy that you chose violence to do it, but, hell, I have no right to be that way. I’ve trained for most of my life just for the sport of it.”
“Really? You never told me that.”
“It was something that I told no one. I didn’t do it to brag or make a career out of it. I just did it for discipline and focus. I studied Tai Chi for years.”
“But you never competed? Were you any good?”
He shook his head. “Ana, it’s not about anyone being good or not. I told you, I wasn’t doing it for that purpose. It was for peace of mind more than anything. I loved it, don’t get me wrong, and if I had to use the skills to defend myself, I could. I just don’t.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I thought you told me everything.”
He smiled. “Well, clearly that’s not the case, considering I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen, and you never knew it.”
“What?”
“Second chances are only for those who are not afraid to try again.” – Unknown Author
Chapter 7 – Bradley
“You’re joking,” she said to me.
I touched the side of her face with a lone finger, sliding it from her cheek down to her chin. “No, I’m not joking.”
“How can that be possible, Brad? You’ve never gave me a clue that you liked me like that. I mean, all the times we hung out, been around each other when both of us were in relationships. We even doubled dated a few times.”
I sighed.
“I know we did, and I figured that’s what you wanted.”
“What?!” She sat up sl
ightly, causing me to do the same. “Are you on something?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I laughed.
“God, Brad, all that time wasted and you didn’t say a thing to me.”
“Yeah, neither did you, I might add. If you felt something for me, why did it take you so long to tell me?”
She looked at me, but didn’t reply right away. I took this opportunity to rest my back against the wall, move the covers from her and position her between my legs. When her head and back rested on my chest, she confessed, “I wanted to, but it seemed every time I got up the nerve to tell you, I couldn’t. I always thought you just looked at me as your buddy. It just seemed like you never noticed me.”
“Don’t you remember me telling that you I’ve seen you since we were thirteen when we were in Miami?”
“Yeah, but you didn’t say that you were in love with me… Do you remember my prom day?”
“Uh-huh.”
How could I forget, I wanted to add.
“When you said you wanted to come by I thought, finally. Maybe, just maybe you will see me as someone more than just your friend. But that didn’t happen.” She chuckled lightly. “I mean, you and Terrence acting all big brother-like was cute, but I was really hoping for more. I was hoping you’d be jealous, but no, you just stood there as I drove away with another guy.”
I frowned and pushed her up a little. I turned her until our eyes met. “Are you kidding me? Ayana, I was going out of my mind. First, you looked beautiful that night. I mean, to me you were always beautiful, but that night...” I shook my head. “Ayana, I wanted to tell you right then how I felt about you. That was actually my plan when I said I was coming over. Number one, I felt like shit because you were going to the prom without me. Number two, I just couldn’t stomach you being with that son of a bitch. I wanted to beat the shit out of him.”
She chuckled and touched my face. I took a deep breath and admitted. “Seeing you with him drove me crazy. It took everything in me to let you go. I was so pissed at myself for not telling you how I felt, but I didn’t think it would matter.”
