by Steven Pajak
“Look, you guys have done enough for today. Go on home and get some rest.”
Finally Iggy turned and looked at me. “What about Charlie?”
I looked over my shoulder. Reverend Reggy and team were still cleaning Charlie’s body, gently wiping away dirt, grime and dried blood.
“In a couple of hours we’re going to have a service for Charlie. We’re going to bury him at Harper’s Knoll.”
Iggy and John both nodded their heads.
“Go on home now, guys,” I said. “I’ll send someone to wake you when we’re ready for Charlie. Get some rest. You both deserve it. Come on now, move out.”
Both men slowly rose from the sofa, and with downcast eyes they moved past me. After a brief pause to look over at their friend, they left the command post.
I rose from my crouch. My legs felt cramped and sore and my back ached something fierce. Instead of standing, I slid onto the sofa and leaned back into it. I sank comfortably into the soft fabric and allowed myself to close my eyes for a second.
Although I’d lost my watch during my scuffle with the crazies, I knew it was just after midnight. In fact, it was probably closer to one in the morning. It had been an extremely long day and I was beginning to feel exhaustion set in.
With all that was going on, I probably wouldn’t get back to my house and into bed for a long time. I figured I could get a little nap for a few minutes. Reverend Reggy would wake me when he was ready.
I closed my eyes and actually started to doze off when I heard Brian ask, “Are you really sleeping?”
My eyes sprung open. “What’s wrong?”
Brian was standing just a few feet away from me. His arms were crossed at his chest and I could tell immediately by the look on his face that he wasn’t here for friendly conversation.
“What the hell happened out there?” he asked.
I sighed and wriggled up off the sofa. “I’m not in a mood to go through this right now, Bri.”
“Well get in the mood,” he insisted. His hands dropped to his sides and his stance widened. “I want to know why Charlie died.”
“What difference will it make?” I asked. “He’ll still be dead.”
“Why didn’t you listen to me? I told you to take me and Bob, but no, you had to take a bunch of green men out there. Charlie’s dead because you fucked up.”
I admit that hurt, but I wasn’t going to get sucked into this conversation with my brother and I certainly did not feel the need to justify my actions.
“I’m going home.” I reached down to grab my SKS but Brian kicked the coffee table sending the SKS onto the floor and the table up against the sofa.
He advanced on me, covering the distance quickly. Before I could react, my brother struck. His fist slammed into my chest. I stumbled back a step, the crook of my knees hit the sofa, and I fell back onto it.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked.
I expected Brian to be upset, but I never expected him to turn on me and physically assault me. “You got Charlie killed. You better wake the fuck up and start taking things seriously.”
As much as I tried, I could no longer contain my temper. Not only had my brother struck me, but was he really accusing me of getting a man killed because I was just fooling around, playing leader? Did he really think I wasn’t taking this situation seriously?
I launched myself from the sofa and charged Brian. He was ready and countered my move by sidestepping and allowing my momentum to take me to the ground. In a moment, he was on my back trying to put me into a sleeper hold.
From my hands and knees position I tried to turn my head and tuck my chin, to get under his grip. From my peripheral I could see Reverend Reggy was looking at us, stunned. I think he was saying something, but I couldn’t hear. My blood rushed to my ears and I could only hear my pulse throbbing.
“You always have to be the boss, right?” Brian shouted into my ear as he tried to choke me out. “You always have to be in charge, always have to make the decisions. Well you made the wrong one this time.”
I got one of my hands on Brian’s forearm and started to work my fingers to loosen his grip.
“I told you this was too dangerous!” Brian shouted. “I told you to take me with you!”
I shifted on my knees a bit to get better leverage. With my left hand I took hold of his bicep and dug my fingers into his flesh, desperately trying to get purchase. I was starting to feel lightheaded now, and I needed to break his grip.
“You better wise up or you’re going to get us all killed,” Brian said. “Do you understand?”
I dipped my chin even further and with one quick fluid motion, I threw my head backward and connected solidly with Brian’s nose.
“Son of a bitch!” he said and his grip loosened.
Taking advantage, I threw a left elbow around and hit him in the side of the head and thrust my weight forward, breaking completely out of his hold.
With adrenaline coursing through my veins, my brain switched to survival mode. I turned quickly and thrust myself at Brian before he could get to his feet. I bowled him over and got on top of him, pinning his arms down with my knees. I punched my brother with a right and then a left, watching as blood burst from his lips when I mashed them back against his teeth. I hit him again with a right, and then again, and a fourth time before someone grabbed me and pulled me off.
Struggling to break free, I heard Bob yelling, “Quit it goddamn it! We have trouble outside, now cut it out!”
Reverend Reggy was on the floor next to Brian helping him sit up. Using one of the damp cloths he had in his hand, Reggy pressed it against Brian’s lips to stem the flow of blood.
Behind me, Bob had me in a death grip. I stopped struggling with him and said, “Okay, okay, Bob, let me go.”
“Are you going to behave?” Bob asked.
“I’m good, Bob. Let go.”
He thought about it for a moment. “Okay,” he said, and freed me.
I got slowly to my feet and stood for a moment trying to catch my breath. I saw Brian doing the same. We both eyed each other from across the room but we said nothing.
“Are you guys done here?” Bob asked. “We have trouble at the gate. Get your shit together and meet me outside. Fast.”
I grabbed up my SKS and started after Bob, who had already made his way across the living room and was heading out. I stopped next to Brian and looked at him.
“Let’s go,” I said.
“After you,” he said.
* * *
As I approached the gates, my first thought was, Thank God they didn’t sound that stupid alarm. My second thought, upon seeing who was at the gate, was, Oh shit.
At this time of night, I was surprised to see so many people awake and about in the community. I guess I should have expected this, though. With all the excitement when our team returned, I suspected it would be difficult for anyone to sleep. Aside from the men who were actually posted as sentries at the gate, I spotted about ten or twelve others who were huddled around one of the patrol vehicles.
I drew nearer the gate and stopped suddenly. Bob and Brian halted, both turning to cast an inquisitive glance.
“I would have let them in, but Iggy saw them on his way home and was adamant that they stay out,” Bob said. “He didn’t say why, he just said to get you, quick.”
Looking beyond those gathered around the patrol cars, I saw our visitors: Senior, Frank, Phil and an unknown man from Providence leaned against our gate.
I swallowed hard and felt my hands began to tremble slightly. I didn’t need more trouble right now—I had my hands full. I didn’t think I could take on anymore.
“Iggy was right,” was all I could manage for the moment.
“You okay?” Bob asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
Mentally, I got my shit under control for the moment. I got us into this mess and I knew I would have to get us out.
I took a couple of more steps forward and then stopped again. �
�Bob, can we get everyone to back away from the gates? Anyone who’s not on patrol needs to be off the street.”
Bob looked a bit perplexed but he followed my order, calling out to his men currently on patrol, and they immediately started ushering people back further into the community.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” Brian asked.
Turning to him, I sighed deeply. “Providence is taking supplies, like a toll. Anyone who wants to pass the roadblock has to give half of their haul.”
“That’s bullshit,” Brian said. “You didn’t give them anything, right?”
“No.”
“Is that how Charlie died?” Brian asked.
“I had a heated exchange with Comedian about letting us through without giving up our supplies. Charlie tried to calm us both down and Comedian shot him. I don’t think he meant to, I think his finger just slipped, but he shot Charlie just the same.”
“Bastards,” Brian spat, and turned quickly, stomping toward the gates. I grabbed his arm and halted him before he did something we’d all regret later.
“I’m going to handle this,” I said, stepping in front of him. “Let me do this my way.”
“No way they get away with killing Charlie,” Brian said. “I’ll kill every last one of them right here.”
“They’re not getting away with anything, Brian, but now is not the time for revenge. Just let me handle this. I promise Comedian will get what he deserves soon enough.”
“Don’t mess with me,” Brian said. “You better be serious about that. I want that bastard dead. And I want to be the one to do it.”
“I promise we’ll avenge Charlie,” I said. I squeezed his arm tighter. “You’ll be the one that does it. I mean it.”
His eyes bore into mine for a moment and then finally he shook his head. “Handle it your way.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Don’t forget your promise. I sure won’t.”
I nodded my head.
Together Brian and I approached the gate. Bob and his men had gotten everyone back behind the patrol vehicles, but didn’t manage to get many to go home. That was fine, as long as they could not hear our conversation. I didn’t want panic or outrage to sweep through the community, as both emotions could be extremely dangerous.
As we drew near, Senior spoke. “Sorry to show up unannounced and at such a late hour, but we have business that can’t wait.”
I ignored Brian’s grunt and said, “What might that be?”
Senior smiled knowingly. He put one meaty hand on the bars of our gate and leaned in close. His bearded face loomed in the darkness. I wanted to smash his nose with my fist.
“I believe you have some supplies and we’re due half,” Senior said. “We can arrange for pick-up in, oh, about ten or twenty minutes.”
“We made a supply run,” I said, “but we don’t owe you anything. We took the risks and we reap the rewards.”
Frank stood behind his father, watching the big man with great scrutiny. I could not tell if he agreed with his father’s attempt to bully our community, but he was backing his father’s play. To Senior’s right stood Phil. His eyes focused on a spot on the ground and never lifted, like he couldn’t bear to look at me.
Senior smiled again, a wolf’s smile. “Our roadblock keeps those crazy things away from your front doorstep. That kind of security ain’t cheap. It can cost lives, and we’re not working for free.”
“I didn’t ask for your roadblock. And in case you hadn’t noticed, we have a pretty defendable community. Open the roads and let the crazies in. We’ll take care of ourselves.”
Now Senior’s face changed, his smile replaced with a frown, and a deep furrow creased his brow. “You’re obviously not thinking clearly right now, but you’ll want to start. You need our roadblock, we need supplies. I think this is an equitable tradeoff.”
“Fuck your roadblock and fuck you.”
“Damn! In your face, you fat fuck,” Brian said.
Senior flinched as though slapped, but to his credit he kept his cool.
“Don’t forget, Senior,” I said, “that we helped you fend off crazies in your own community. And your roadblock cost us the life of a friend. So we don’t owe you shit. You want half of our supplies? The only way you’re going to get them is if you turn over Comedian to stand trial for what he did.”
Senior scowled. “Who the hell is ‘Comedian’?”
“He means Andy,” Phil said, still not looking at us.
“I’m not turning over anyone,” Senior said. “And let me tell you, son, turning him over ain’t the only way to get those supplies. We can take them by force, and I have the means to do just that.”
“Take your chances, fat boy,” Brian taunted.
Frank, who had been quiet during our exchange finally showed a spark of life. He launched himself forward, pushing past his father and slammed up against the gate.
“Come out here and I’ll teach you some respect,” Frank said to Brian.
Brian laughed and kicked the gate.
“Get your dog on a leash,” Senior said to me. “You’re just digging your hole deeper.”
“I think we’re done here,” I said.
Putting a hand on his son’s shoulder to calm him, Senior said to me, “You’re obviously not thinking clearly. You lost your friend and I guess I can understand the way you’re feeling, but you’re not thinking about your people. What about them?”
I only stared at him. There was truth in what he said; I knew it and Brian knew it, but I just couldn’t let this bastard bully our community into turning over supplies that we’d need to get us through until this craziness blew over.
“Don’t make a decision based on your emotions,” Senior continued. “Any good leader would be able to put their emotions aside and make a decision with the wellbeing of their community in mind, not revenge.”
“Go home, Senior,” I said. “I have nothing left to say to you.”
“How are you going to get more supplies? This is the only road that leads to anywhere. Do you think we’re going to let you through our roadblocks? You’re condemning these people because of your pigheadedness! Don’t be a fool.”
“Providence killed my man and now you’re trying to extort us. How am I being a fool? No. We’re not going to give in. We’re not going to give you those supplies, or any others, no matter what.”
I turned away from the men and started to walk away. I did not stop to see if Brian followed. Behind me, Senior continued to raise his voice.
“I’m going to let cooler heads prevail here,” he shouted. “I’m going to forget about the supplies you owe us, because you lost a man. And I’m not going to send my people to war over your lust for revenge.”
As Brian and I neared the patrol car where Bob waited, Senior said, “But don’t mistake my kindness or my generosity. If we see you or your men at our roadblock again we will shoot on sight. Don’t let it come to that. Dissolving our alliance won’t end well for either of us, you know.”
I was dead on my feet and I couldn’t take any more. This had been the longest day and I just wanted it to end. I went home and slept for an hour before Reverend Reggy shook me awake.
CHAPTER 15:
Fallen
I opened my eyes to bright sunlight that cut through the slits in the blinds. I’d fallen asleep on the living room sofa again. I couldn’t bear to sleep in my room anymore, ever since my brother shot my wife there. It was a mercy killing, as much for me as my wife, but I could not look at the barren spot where the bloodstained carpet had been removed.
Reverend Reggy loomed over me. The morning light shone over him, illuminating him like an angel. The image was both surreal and calming.
“It is time,” he said. “Our brother Charlie is ready to be laid to rest.” He hesitated. “I didn’t know him very well... I was hoping that you’d say a few words.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem, Rev.”
I swung my legs off t
he sofa and sat up. My back cried out and every bone and muscle in my body screamed out in agony. I cursed myself again for becoming so out of shape and complacent.
Trying to mask my pain from Reggy, I said, “I’ll be down shortly. Just let me clean up a bit and get dressed.”
“Of course, that will give me time to gather the rest of the community. I’ll see you shortly.”
“Thank you, Rev,” I said as he made his way toward the steps that would lead him out the front door.
“It is the least I can do.” He bowed his head slightly and disappeared, the door closed softly behind him.
I stood and stretched, grimacing at my aches and pains. Walking with my hands pressed firmly against the small of my back, I made my way to the bathroom and started to wash up in the sink.
The cold water felt good against my skin and revived me a bit. The mirror revealed a few new abrasions and cuts on my forehead and cheek from our run-ins with either the crazies or the bastards from Providence. I didn’t have time to give the wounds proper cleaning and disinfecting. I made do with some Dial soap, working the cuts and abrasions softly with my fingertips.
Back in my room, making a wide berth around the hole in the carpet where my wife’s blood once stained the light tan fibers, I went into my closet and sorted through my clothing. In the end, I pulled down a simple black suit with a dark maroon tie and dressed in silence.
I wasn’t sure if Brian had come home during the night. When I last saw him he was headed back to the CP to oversee Charlie’s preparations. I think he also wanted to hang around should the Providence folks come back.
I grabbed a banana for breakfast when I made my way downstairs. Taking a bite, I poked my head into the family room, which doubled as Brian’s bedroom, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t in my office or the armory. He was probably already out at Harper’s Knoll.
Tossing the banana peel into the trash can in the downstairs powder room, I finally left the house. Standing on the front porch under the brilliant sun, breathing in the tang of cold November air, made me feel vibrant. For the moment, I almost forgot about my tender flesh.
