“Beth,” I say before I can stop myself. Even I can hear the way I say her name.
Gomez misses nothing. It’s what keeps him alive. “Like that is it?”
“Hell.” I don’t say anything for a moment. Gomez waits me out. “I’ll make sure she’s safe and then she’ll be out of my life. My world is no place for her and the baby.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Didn’t work for me and I don’t see it working for you.”
Gomez sent Celina away for six months. He was miserable but would have kept her safe and stayed away if she hadn’t come back on her own. “No offense but Beth has a baby to protect and she’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe.”
He grunts. “Moon is unhappy about all of this. He’s willing to take on Gimonde.”
“I hope you’ve talked fucking sense into him.”
Gomez’s full laugh explodes in my ear. “Moon does what the fuck he wants and I protect his ass after the fact. You know that as well as I do.”
“He’ll lose and now that Mak and Celina are in the picture you have other priorities just as I do.”
“You worry about your woman and we’ll worry about ours. Gimonde senior won’t let this go. He’ll never stop hunting you.”
“He can hunt me in Mexico, then. He won’t be the only one.”
“I’ll call this number when the papers are ready. Take a picture and text it with names.”
Our conversation is over but I hold the line. “Thank you, Alex.” I rarely use his first name. There are so many other things I should say. Moon and Gomez pulled me from self-destruction and gave me focus. I owe them everything.
He ends the call without responding. Typical Gomez.
Beth and the baby sleep more than anything. I spend hours working out in my brother’s living room now that Linc and Shelby have returned to work. I cook for Beth but don’t help her with Carson. She never complains.
I’ve avoided her when she nurses Carson, especially since her milk came in. Her breasts practically bust the seams of my brother’s shirts. I can’t take it even though I know I’m a shit for having sexual thoughts over a woman’s milk-engorged breasts.
I’m stuck in limbo knowing this can’t last and praying it will.
Thirty-six hours after talking to Gomez he calls in the middle of the night and our world changes again. “Are you at your brother’s?” is the first thing he asks.
“Fuck,” I swear while sitting up and grabbing my gun from the bedside table.
“Stay put. Dax is on his way to escort you to his place. Does your brother have somewhere safe to go?”
“Hell, I don’t know.” Beth places her hand on my shoulder. Our cozy quiet time is at an end.
“Dax can leave some of his men behind.”
I put my hand over Beth’s. “Let me talk to my brother. Do you know how they found out about my past?”
“Not yet but we will.”
I have no doubt that whoever ratted me out will pay. You don’t betray Moon, and the last person you want handing down punishment is Gomez.
We end the call.
“Gimonde knows we’re here. We have a few hours. My boss is sending friends to get us.” I sleep in my cargo pants so I only need to pull on my shirt. “Angelo’s dad says he’ll protect you and the baby from his son.”
“No, he’s lying. Angelo spoke of his father endlessly. The man is no different than his son.” Conviction is in every clipped word. I’m glad it’s settled. If Gimonde senior comes after her, he’ll be as dead as his son will be once I have Beth safe.
I walk to the door, turn around, and see her pulling pants up her legs. She’s been sleeping in my brother’s endless supply of shirts. The only thing that saves me is the fact she just had a baby. I couldn’t have handled being in the same bed and not touching her otherwise. “I need to talk to my brother.”
She glances over her shoulder. “Go.” She’s in full mother tiger mode.
The talk with Linc goes as well as I expected. It ends with me sitting in the living room with my head back trying to keep my bloody nose from making a mess. I refused to defend myself because I completely understand his anger. Beth, the baby, and Shelby are next door. They’ll stay on Shelby’s side of the duplex until Dax arrives. Dax is another thing my brother’s angry about.
Dax is the president of Desert Crows, an outlaw motorcycle club in Arizona. They have close ties with Moon’s organization but it’s not widely known. If Gimonde gets anywhere near the Crows’ compound, Dax and his men will defend their territory to the death.
My brother is storming through his house collecting everything that belongs to Shelby and boxing it. If Gimonde’s men come here, he doesn’t want them to know he has a woman. I tried to help and almost got a black eye to go with the bloody nose. I deserve his rage. The only thing keeping him from killing me is Beth and the baby. He knows this was their only chance. He just doesn’t like it.
He finishes boxing Shelby’s things and walks back into the living room. He doesn’t say anything for several minutes while he paces. “You know I need to call Mom and Dad. If Gimonde knows about our connection, he knows about our parents.”
“Yeah, Wood and Calvin too,” I add.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to Mom? This will crush her all over again.”
I don’t answer. I’ve never forgotten my family, but I let them go thinking I would never see them again. Saying I’m sorry isn’t enough. And truthfully I’m not sorry. Andrew was my brother and his death hit everyone hard. I would do it all again.
“The car,” I think aloud. “I need to get rid of it so it’s not discovered here.”
Linc stops and turns toward me. “You said it’s legal.”
His tone pisses me off. “The damn thing is legal, paid cash but didn’t register it.”
“I’ll hide it in impound. We can’t find cars in there half the time as it is.”
His words turn the shield I wrapped around myself when I separated from my family to dust. I’ve turned Linc’s life to shit and he’s still willing to help me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Beth
CARSON IS FUSSY. HELL, I’m fussy. I have no control and it’s like being at the ranch all over again.
Rack is delivering me into the hands of a motorcycle gang. A very bad one. He didn’t pull punches when he told me who and what they are.
I walk back and forth over the cool tile floor and bounce Carson against my chest.
“I’ll walk with him if you need to sleep.”
I turn to Shelby, who’s been nothing but wonderful. Now I’ve brought danger straight to her doorstep. “I’ll sleep in the car after we leave. I’m sure Carson will sleep then or at least I hope.” I’ve tried everything to get him to nap. Not even feeding works.
She wipes the edges of her eyes. “We’ll miss you,” she says as she bends down and pets Daisy.
I stop walking. “I’m so sorry, Shelby.”
She stands and crosses the space between us. Her arms wrap around me and Carson. “Don’t ever be sorry, we’ll be okay. All you think about is this, sweetheart.” She pulls back and smiles “Now hand him over and let’s see if Aunt Shelby can calm this fussy boy down.”
She places Carson against her chest and rubs his back while walking back and forth. “There, there,” she singsongs.
Keys rattle at the front door and my heart stops. Linc pushes it open and carries a box inside. “I’ll put this and the others in the spare room,” he says to Shelby in a clipped tone.
He’s angry, as he should be. I feel horrible. Shelby is too damn nice. Linc understands the danger I’ve placed them in. I remain quiet and sit on the couch while Shelby walks Carson. The baby grows fussier and his cries turn to full out screams with little huffs of trembling breaths thrown in. Linc leaves and returns a few minutes later with another box. I’m about to stand and take Carson back when Linc speaks up.
“Give me the little guy,” he says. Shelby
hands Carson over and we both watch in bafflement when the baby quiets a few seconds after Linc cuddles him against his shoulder.
Shelby smiles. “It’s the big manly chests that do it. Women and babies are highly susceptible.”
Linc winks at me.
Carson’s eyes drift closed and Linc steps closer to me. “This isn’t your fault, Beth, so don’t blame yourself. My brother will take care of you and see you’re safe. I’ll keep Shelby safe.” His grin expands when he glances at Shelby. “Even if she thinks she can do it alone and proven she’s more than capable, I won’t allow anyone to touch her.”
Shelby smiles back and they’re caught in a private moment. Shelby told me their story last night while the brothers watched a baseball game on TV. Their romance was funny, dangerous, and exciting. I want a love story just like theirs.
A few minutes later, Linc hands a sleeping Carson back to me.
“One more box and all the crap is gone from my place.”
“Hey,” Shelby says. Linc winks at me again and walks out.
Shelby and I wait on the couch. My eyes drift closed. I feel like all I’ve done is sleep for days. I never dreamed giving birth takes this much out of you. Rack’s voice wakes me. I glance around and Shelby is no longer in the room.
“They’re here. I have a car seat for the baby. Change and feed him and then we need to go.” He’s in protection mode again. Gone is the relaxed Rack. This is Rack the killer.
I resituate the baby, pull up the first T-shirt I’ve worn in days, and unclip one of the nursing bras Shelby’s friend gave me. Carson is tired but latches on when I position him. I grimace and take a few deep breaths. Rack hasn’t watched me nurse the last two days and he gives me a quizzical look. I ignore it by changing the subject. “Do I have time to say goodbye to Shelby or are they gone?”
His eyes lift from my breast and I almost laugh when he gives me a guilty look. “They’re still here,” he says and turns to look out the window.
Is feeling desirable something you want when a man watches you breastfeed? Heat travels to my cheeks and my question is answered. I’m still carrying baby weight and will for months, my breasts look like they will explode milk half the time, and I’ve barely taken time to comb my hair. Makeup is an elusive dream. All that doesn’t matter because yes, I want to be desirable to this man.
I peer down at the baby. He’s not hungry. Now that he’s settled down he just wants to sleep. He grumbles a bit when I change him but that’s it. My stomach is in knots. Rack is placing me in the hands of a motorcycle gang.
“I promise you’ll be safe. Trust me!” I’m not surprised he reads my expression. I do trust him but I hate feeling out of control.
A few minutes later, we walk out the door. There’s an ordinary compact car in the driveway and no motorcycles in sight. I turn in the direction of Linc’s front door. He and Shelby walk outside. Shelby sprints over and throws her arms around me and Carson. She’s crying. We know this is it. We’ll never see each other again and neither of us can contain our tears. I pull away and throw my arms around Linc next. “Thank you so much.” It’s completely inadequate. He squeezes gently and kisses my cheek. I pull away and glance down at Daisy, who’s whining like crazy. I pat his head knowing I’ll miss him too. “I’ll find Carson a big sweetie just like you,” I tell Daisy.
Shelby takes Carson from my arms and breathes in his scent before kissing his nose. With one final kiss, she hands him over. This goodbye is harder than I imagined. Linc pulls Shelby into his arms, which is my cue that it’s time. I turn and follow Rack to the car before I turn into a blubbering mess.
There’s an older man in the front passenger seat. I situate Carson in his new car seat, walk around the other side, and get in the back. Rack folds himself behind the wheel.
The stranger peers around the seat. “Ma’am. Name’s Curly Sue, friends call me Curly.” His beard is long and shaggy, his head shaved. Faded tattoos cover the arm I can see. God, I think one of the tattoos is a swastika. What the hell is Rack thinking?
Curly turns around and Rack pulls the car out. I look back and Shelby’s waving at me. I wave until I no longer see her. I dig in the diaper bag, which is on the floorboard beneath the car seat, and find tissue to blow my nose.
Twenty minutes later we pull onto the highway and a few motorcycles pull in behind us. Ten minutes later a few more join the pack. Including Curly, our escort is nine strong. My life has gone from a cheating fiancé to becoming pregnant by a mob boss’s son to a skinhead motorcycle gang escorting me to safety.
This isn’t the rabbit hole. It’s the River Styx leading to hell.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Rack
I KNOW BETH IS worried, but she hangs in like a trouper. I told her a little about the Crows. Two years ago their help wouldn’t be an option. Each man riding behind us has spent time in prison. None of them transitioned easily. When Dax took over as president of the club, he had just rescued a child from being sold on the black market by the man he killed to gain leadership of the club. That child is the niece of the woman Gomez fell in love with. Without Dax’s help, I’ve no doubt the child would be dead now.
After Dax killed the president of the Crows, he made sweeping changes. The biggest being acceptance of the Latina woman he fell in love with and married. You toe the line and follow Dax’s rules or you become part of the Arizona desert terrain in an unmarked grave. Dax and his club might be slightly domesticated now but the way they deal with trouble is similar to Moon’s approach and I don’t see that changing.
Gomez is indebted to Dax for saving Celina’s niece, and Dax is indebted to Moon and Gomez for standing behind him throughout the difficult transition of his club. Now Moon and the Crows are in business together. Moon is a silent backer in Dax’s medical marijuana dispensaries. If the legal marijuana law passes in the next election, Moon’s organization and the entire club will make a shitload more of legal money. As an ex-con, Dax and his crew can’t have their name on the dispensaries. That’s where Dax’s wife, Sofia, comes in. The woman is as business savvy as they come and has a clean record. She’s also a mean, protective mamma bear, and no one in the club tangles with her unless they want to feel her claws.
Beth will calm down once she meets Sofia and the twins. The two women should get along just fine. We’ll be temporarily safe at the clubhouse. I’ll get my shit together and take the next step from there.
The baby starts fussing three hours into our trip. We’re halfway to the clubhouse. Curly calls Dax and tells him we’re pulling into the next rest stop.
“Shhhh, sweetie. Mommy promises to feed you in just a few minutes.”
Beth’s soothing has little effect and Carson’s cries fill the car until they’re one long scream. I take the rest stop exit and Beth removes Carson from his car seat as soon as I park.
“Kid’s got a healthy set of lungs on ’im.” Curly laughs in his thick crusty smoker’s voice. He steps out of the car and waits for the bikes to park.
“I’ll be back in a minute, I need to speak with Dax.” Beth gives me a frazzled look and nods. I step outside and walk to Dax. He throws his arms around me and lifts me off my feet. I’m a few inches taller and weigh more, so it’s no easy feat.
“Put me down, you hog,” I tell him.
My feet hit the pavement and I slap him on the back. “Thank you, Dax. Sorry to take you away from your family.”
“No man, never be sorry. Things were getting boring in my neck of the desert and we needed a run with a little excitement thrown in.” Hell yeah and a few grunts from the other men accompany his words.
I glance toward the car, where Beth is feeding the baby, and then turn back to Dax. “Helping us could be more than a little excitement.”
Dax nods his chin toward the car. “Gomez filled us in. This was a volunteer run. Everyone was in, so I ended up forcing a few to stay behind to protect the clubhouse. You should have heard the grumbles.” He glances toward the car with Beth insid
e before turning back and giving me a concerned look.
Since the dream about his medical marijuana business became reality, I’ve worked a lot with Dax. I know his wife, Sofia, well. Their two children are a bundle of energy and spoiled by the big bad motorcycle club members who would die for their leader and his family. Dax’s expression is one of concern for a woman and child he doesn’t even know.
“She’s good,” I tell him. “Nervous about the club but good. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about you and your men.”
“Sofia will welcome her and the baby with open arms. She’ll be family in no time.”
We look toward the car when Beth opens the door and steps out with the baby. Before I can step in her direction, Dax walks around me and heads to Beth.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Dax,” he says and pulls Beth into a loose hug. “Who’s this little fellow?”
Beth’s large eyes glance in my direction. Dax looks like a skinhead reject, which is kind of what he is. He’s wearing a black leather vest minus the club emblem, jeans that have seen better days, chains that hang down for God only knows what purpose, and biker boots that can stomp some serious ass complete the picture. He’s grown his hair out and it’s tied back to keep it out of his face. His closely cropped beard gives him a sinister appearance. My lips quirk because it’s a great disguise. The man is pure baby daddy now. “Um, this is Carson,” Beth replies when I give her no help.
“My wife, Sofia, just informed me that I’ll be a daddy again in about seven months. We have twins, who are a handful. I don’t think adding another will make much difference in the noise level when they get going, and this little guy will fit right in. Why don’t you let me hold Carson while you take a trip to the ladies’ room? I can change him too if you need me to.”
Dax’s badassery flies right out the window. He has no shame and I’m not surprised at all that they have another on the way. Of course he has an entire club to act as aunts, uncles, and grandparents. The Desert Crows give outlaw motorcycle gangs a bad rap. They’ve pulled themselves out of the shit and gone legit. Beth doesn’t stand a chance.
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