Where Seagulls Cry

by Yvonne Whittal

  'And?'

  His hands moved upwards along her arms to her shoulders and Kim kept a tight rein on her quivering emotions. 'If you are still sure that you want to marry me, then my answer is… yes.'

  She could not explain afterwards how it had happened, but quite suddenly his hard mouth had taken possession of hers and she could not recall any desire on her part to struggle for release. His action had been swift and unexpected, and although every nerve in her body tingled in response, he appeared quite unaffected when he released her after what seemed like endless seconds.

  'Thank you, Kim,' he said quietly and with a new calmness. 'I shan't let you regret this decision of yours.'

  CHAPTER THREE

  Adam wasted no time in getting the local clergyman to pay them a visit, and Kim had a faint suspicion that he had no intention of giving her time for second thoughts. The Reverend Mr Wilson needed no introduction to Kim, for he had been at Heron's Bay ever since she could remember. When they heard his car stop outside the gate, Kim glanced at Adam with a certain amount of amusement as he searched his jacket pockets for his sunglasses.

  'I hate the thought of not being able to look people in the eyes,' he explained tersely as he put them on. 'I always have that sinking feeling that I'm looking beyond them, and this way I can at least pretend to be looking directly at the person to whom I'm speaking.'

  'You've been doing nothing but look directly at me ever since I arrived this morning,' she laughed nervously, biting her lip. 'It's most unnerving.'

  'That's because you have such a vibrant personality,' he remarked, half in jest and half in earnest. 'I always know exactly where you're standing, or sitting.'

  'Do I take that as a compliment, I wonder?' Kim laughed, but there was no time for Adam to reply, for Mr Wilson was already knocking firmly on the front door.

  'Let him in, Kim,' Adam instructed, lighting his pipe as he remained seated.

  She hastened to the door and admitted Mr Wilson. 'Kim, it is good to see you,' he smiled broadly, the sun glistening on his bald head. 'I must admit, my dear, that the reason for this visit is rather unexpected. I had no idea that you knew Dr Granger so well.'

  Kim nervously acknowledged his greeting, but was unable to find an adequate reply to satisfy his curiosity. 'Would you come this way? Adam is waiting in the lounge.'

  She ushered Mr Wilson into the lounge and he shook hands with Adam in his usual pleasant manner before he lowered his rather stout figure into one of the armchairs. An awkward silence seemed to settle in the room as Kim glanced from Adam's taut face to Mr Wilson's calm but openly curious features.

  'Shall I make a pot of tea?' she asked, her voice sounding unnatural to her own ears.

  'Perhaps that will be a good idea, Kim,' Mr Wilson agreed, clearing his throat. 'I don't think we particularly need you at the moment, and Dr. Granger could quite easily give me the necessary information.'

  Kim escaped to the kitchen without hesitation, taking longer over the tea than was absolutely necessary. How long did it take to arrange a marriage? she wondered nervously, wiping the cups for the second time. She could still hear the low rumble of their voices in the lounge, and waited just a few minutes longer before, taking the tray through.

  'Ah, here's the bride-to-be,' Mr Wilson smiled as she entered the room, and Kim nearly dropped the tray. 'Everything is arranged for next Saturday—that's in ten days' time. I must say that Dr. Granger doesn't like wasting time once he has decided on something,' he went on smoothly as Kim handed him his tea.

  'Have you—is everything arranged?' Kim glanced at Adam as she placed his cup of tea in his hand, but his expression was completely uninformative.

  'Everything is arranged, Kim,' he told her quietly. 'Under the circumstances it will be a quiet wedding with only my parents present. It's as we decided.'

  'Dr Granger has also agreed that my wife take a few photographs on the occasion,' Mr Wilson added. 'She's the only one with proper photographic equipment in the village.'

  Kim's heart raced at a suffocating speed. 'Yes. Yes, of course.'

  A photograph of Adam and herself on their wedding day! A visual reminder of a marriage arranged for the sake of convenience!

  Adam remained tense for the rest of Mr Wilson's visit and, as if sensing their desire to be left alone, the fatherly clergyman did not delay his departure longer than necessary. Kim followed him outside to his car in silence, her nerves tightening into a ball at the pit of her stomach at the sight of his deepening frown.

  'Kim, I'm glad that we have these few moments alone,' he began as they reached the gate. 'I feel that, in the absence of your father and your aunt, it's my duty to speak to you as they would have done.'

  'Mr Wilson, I—'

  'Wait!' he interrupted her swiftly with a silencing gesture of his hand. 'I've known you since you were a little girl, and I've seen your loyalty to those closest to you. I have nothing against Dr Granger, but I must ask you a few questions.'

  Kim met his steady glance and knew that there would be no escape. 'Very well,' she sighed. 'What do you want to know?'

  'How long have you known Dr Granger?'

  'A few weeks.'

  'In fact, not more than a month, for that is how long he has been here at Heron's Bay. Is this not so?'

  'Yes.' Kim lowered her glance and felt the colour stain her cheeks.

  'I'm well aware of your tender heart, Kim,' he went on gently, 'but aren't you letting the fact that he's blind influence you in any way?'

  Kim met his glance once more and there was no mistaking the determination in the set of her small chin. 'What you actually want to know is, am I not allowing Dr Granger to take the place of my father because they had blindness in common?'

  Mr Wilson cleared his throat self-consciously. 'Something like that, yes.'

  Kim shook her head. 'No, Mr Wilson, I'm not.'

  'Are you quite sure that what you feel for him is love, and not pity?'

  Kim directed her gaze beyond the cliff to where the sea met the sky and, for a moment, she was completely alone with her thoughts. Is pity and compassion not a part of love just as the earth is part of the universe? She loved Adam, of that she was sure, and because she loved him she felt pity and compassion for him, but she would not have contemplated marrying him merely out of pity alone. No, her reason for accepting his proposal went far deeper than that, and far beyond the range of compassion.

  The touch of a hand on her arm brought her attention back to the present, and Mr Wilson's look of concern. 'Kim, I ask you again. Do you love him?'

  'Yes, I do,' she replied with conviction.

  The frown relaxed slightly above the bushy eyebrows. 'Does he love you?'

  'He needs me,' the words were torn from her as she struggled to control the trembling of her lips. 'Don't be concerned for me, Mr Wilson. I'm going into this marriage without any illusions.'

  His hand moved to her shoulder in a comforting gesture. 'God bless you, my child.'

  Kim stood for quite some time watching him drive slowly down the hill before she turned towards the cottage, brushing the tears from her eyes with the tips of her fingers before entering.

  'Well?' Adam's lips twisted with a touch of cynicism.

  'Well, what?' she demanded abruptly, gathering up the tea things and placing them on the tray.

  'Did he try and talk you out of it?'

  The tea cups rattled as Kim brought the tray down heavily on to the table. 'Yes, he did.'

  A tense silence settled between them as she searched those sightless blue eyes for some indication as to his feelings. 'I appreciate your honesty,' he said at last, his lips drawn into a thin line of disapproval. 'Did he succeed?'

  She went towards him then, taking hold of his hands as she sat down beside him. 'I gave you my word that I would marry you, and once I've given my word I never take it back.'

  Adam's stern mouth relaxed slightly. 'If you hadn't given your word to me, would you still have gone through with the marriage afte
r having a talk with Mr Wilson?'

  Kim was perilously close to admitting the truth, but she smothered the desire instantly. 'Even if I hadn't given my word, I would still go through with it.'

  'Why?'

  'You did say that you needed me,' she replied carefully. 'A woman sometimes likes to be needed.'

  Again that tense little silence followed. 'Are you sure that you're not marrying me because you pity me?'

  There it was again, that word her father had hated so much. Pity! Mr Wilson had asked her the same question and she had at least been able to give him a truthful answer, but what reply could she give Adam? What could she say?

  'I don't pity you, Adam,' she said eventually with a fierceness that hid her turbulent emotions. 'I'm marrying you because you're such an irritable, bad-tempered, pigheaded sort of person, and I enjoy sparring with you.'

  'Well,' he laughed suddenly, 'that's something quite unique which should go down in the annals of history! I don't think anyone has ever offered those reasons for contemplating marriage.'

  'I don't think many women have found themselves in the position I'm in at the moment,' Kim added bluntly, releasing his hands and getting to her feet. 'Your reasons for proposing are just as unique as my reasons for accepting.'

  'Perhaps you're right,' he agreed, and she had the impression that he was tired of the trend the conversation was taking.

  'I have to see to lunch,' she mumbled, but, as his dark head went down against the back rest of the couch, she hesitated curiously. 'How old are you, Adam?'

  An odd smile flickered across his face. 'Thirty-five. Does that sound ancient to you?'

  'Don't be silly!' she muttered angrily, scooping up the tray and escaping from that blue gaze that continually threatened to turn her knees to water.

  The ten days before the wedding passed with alarming swiftness for Kim. She had so much to do, and so much still to be done, that she hardly ever had time to brood about the decision she had made. Solomon seemed inordinately thrilled at the idea that he would soon be returning to his family, but Adam surprised Kim most of all. He remained calm and unruffled despite the fact that his home was in complete disruption.

  Mrs Wilson insisted that Kim slept at the manse the last night before the wedding, and it was arranged that Mr Wilson would call for her at Adam's cottage that afternoon. Henry and Libby Granger arrived that same afternoon in their small truck as Adam had asked them to, and Kim, after her initial nervousness, found them extremely likeable. Henry Granger, tall but not as lean as Adam, seemed not at all surprised at his son's sudden decision to settle down, whereas his wife, Libby, asked curious questions which often embarrassed Kim.

  Kim was thankful when Mr Wilson finally arrived to collect her, but Adam was not letting her go that easily.

  'Would you all mind leaving Kim and me alone for a few minutes?' he asked courteously, and three astonished people trooped from the lounge and closed the door firmly behind them.

  'Give me your hands,' he said, coming towards her, and she placed her hands nervously in his as she stared up into those unseeing blue eyes. 'Kim, this is your last chance to change your mind if you have any doubts.'

  She drew a quivering breath and wished at that moment she could fling herself into his arms. 'I have no doubts, Adam. Have you?'

  'No.' His hands moved upwards along her arms to eventually circle her face. 'I just wish it was all over so that we could be alone again. All these people around me make me nervous.'

  'You haven't looked nervous at all,' she laughed shakily. 'I was beginning to think you were completely unaffected by it all.'

  A smile hovered on his lips. 'You wouldn't say that if you knew how my stomach seems to have twisted itself into a permanent knot.' He dropped a light kiss on to her hair and moved away from her. 'Kim, I've told Solomon to take my father's truck and follow Mr Wilson's car down to your cottage. He'll load up those two crates you spoke of, and anything else you want to have brought up here.'

  'Thank you, Adam.'

  The murmur of voices outside the door made them realise that they could not continue their conversation at the expense of others, and Adam gestured that she could open the door.

  Nothing seemed entirely real after that. Mr Wilson drove her down to her cottage with Solomon following closely in the truck. They loaded the two crates on to the truck as well as a few suitcases of clothing she would not be needing immediately, and after Solomon's departure she had only her wedding dress and a suitcase containing a change of clothing to take with her. There was no time to feel any nostalgia as she locked the door of her cottage behind her for the last time. This been her home for so many years, and yet she could not conjure up a twinge of regret at that final moment of parting with the familiar. Tomorrow she would be marrying Adam, and that was enough to occupy every part of her mind and soul.

  Mr Wilson very kindly drove Kim to the estate agents to hand in the key before taking her to the manse where Mrs Wilson awaited them to show Kim up to the room she had prepared for her.

  'Mrs Wilson, it's exceptionally kind of you to put me up for the night—' Kim began, but Mrs Wilson brushed aside her words of thanks.

  'Freda Harvey would never forgive me, had she been alive, if I'd allowed you to remain all alone in that empty cottage on the eve of your wedding,' she explained with a warm smile.

  After the mad rush of the past ten days, the peaceful atmosphere of the manse and its people had a soothing effect on Kim's nerves, and she slept soundly that night, to be awakened on her wedding day with the sun streaming in through the window.

  The wedding was scheduled for ten o'clock that morning to enable Adam's parents to return to their farm immediately after lunch and, with only two bedrooms in Adam's cottage, this was an ideal arrangement for both of them. Kim did not linger in bed on that perfect April morning. Adam had said that they would arrive at the manse half an hour before the wedding, so that did not leave her much time to laze about. She had a quick bath and returned to her room immediately after breakfast to change and pack the few personal possessions she had brought with her.

  Her wedding day became a reality as she stared at herself in the mirror, but, strangely enough, it did not unnerve her. Her wedding gown, which had cost her a trip to Cape Town by train besides the unearthly price she had had to pay for the dress, was of a soft white satin that accentuated her youthful slenderness. All this for Adam, and he would not be able to see her, she thought sadly, but perhaps it was just as well. Let him continue imagining that she was attractive when, in reality, she was really rather plain. What difference did it make what she looked like, as long as Adam thought her attractive, and it was, after all, a marriage of convenience. She winced inwardly as she placed the shoulder-length veil on her head, securing it with a hairpin.

  Mrs Wilson knocked at the door and entered. 'Dr Granger and his parents have arrived,' she said with a smile, and then stopped for a moment to stare at Kim. 'My dear, I've never seen you look so lovely.'

  'It's very kind of you to want to boost my ego,' Kim thanked her dully, 'but I'm afraid that Adam has found himself a rather plain wife.'

  'Don't be silly!' Mrs Wilson exclaimed, shocked at Kim's description of herself. 'Take another look at yourself in the mirror. I've always envied you your glorious hair and those remarkable eyes. Did you know that they change colour with your moods?' Kim laughed shakily at this, but Mrs Wilson continued undeterred. 'They do, you know. There's character and quality in your face that isn't always easy to find in others.' She leaned confidentially towards Kim and whispered, 'As a clergyman's wife, I'm not supposed to say this, but, with a little touch of make-up, you could be very attractive.'

  Kim's eyes widened. 'Do you think so?'

  'Just you wait here.' Mrs Wilson disappeared and returned a few moments later with a small wooden box in her hands. 'I keep it hidden from Albert,' she laughed mischievously, 'or he might just decide one day to get rid of my secret weapons.'

  'Oh, Mrs Wilson, you're wonder
ful!' Kim laughed outright.

  Mrs Wilson was right. With a light cream base and a touch of powder and lipstick there was a remarkable improvement in her appearance. Staring at her reflection in the mirror at that moment, she could almost call herself attractive, she thought humorously.

  'We mustn't keep the groom waiting any longer,' Mrs Wilson interrupted her thoughts and, taking Kim's suitcase, she led the way downstairs to the living-room.

  Kim stopped in the doorway and stared in astonishment at the man she was about to marry. This was a new Adam she had not met before. His dark hair was brushed back severely from his forehead and in his dark suit and matching tie he looked exceedingly attractive. The whiteness of his shirt contrasted drastically with his tanned complexion and in his tailored outfit he displayed a muscular leanness which had been hidden beneath the baggy sweaters and comfortable slacks he always wore. She drew her breath in sharply. It was almost as though she were marrying a stranger, she thought nervously.

  'Kim?' he said, an edge of uncertainty in his voice, and suddenly she was oblivious of everyone else in the room except Adam and herself.

  'I'm here, Adam.' She went towards him swiftly, taking the hands he held extended towards her.

  A familiar smile curved his usually stern lips. 'I thought for a moment that you were contemplating escape.'

  She looked up into his face, the dark lenses hiding his expression from her. 'I told you once before that once I've given my word, nothing would make me withdraw it.'

  The pressure of his hands tightened on hers. 'I wish I could see you at this moment.'

  His words touched her heart with aching precision and for a moment she could not speak for fear of crying.

  'Kim is a vision of loveliness,' Libby said swiftly, and this was echoed by everyone else. Even Mr Wilson coughed and grunted something complementary.

  'What are you wearing, Kim?' Adam asked unexpectedly, and Kim glanced appealingly at Mrs Wilson, only to discern from her gesture that this was Kim's department entirely.