Where Seagulls Cry

by Yvonne Whittal

  The demanding pressure of his lips confirmed his statement and inflamed her with a pulsating desire that changed her from the level-headed person she was to a trembling bundle of acquiescence. If only he would tell her that he loved her! If only he would say it… just once, her heart cried, but she knew somehow that those were words she would never hear from Adam. Wanting her as his wife had not altered his way of reasoning, and she would have to be satisfied with his scientific approach regarding their marriage.

  'I think I should pour that coffee,' she remarked tremulously, an unusual brightness in her green eyes which only he could put there as she breathlessly warded off any further advances.

  'I believe you're shy,' Adam teased her gently. 'You weren't shy last night, or does the cold light of day make a difference to the way you feel?'

  'I don't feel any different,' she protested, her cheeks stinging with embarrassment. 'It's just that I—'

  'Find it difficult to face me this morning?' he finished for her humorously. 'You're well protected, Kim. I can't see you… only touch you,' he added in a way that made her skin tingle as if he had actually done just that.

  'Adam,' she whispered anxiously, 'don't tease me.'

  His face sobered instantly as he caught hold of her hand and carried it to his lips. 'I shan't tease you, my dear Kim. Your shyness is part of the enchantment you represent for me, and it's something I shall cherish.'

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Life for Kim had assumed a totally different pattern and had gained a new significance. Adam moved into her room, with the more comfortable double bed, as if it was the most natural thing on earth, and her blushes came and went unnoticed. As the colder weather set in, they spent long, unforgettable evenings at the fireside, satisfied just to sit and talk in whispers until Kim's head became heavy with sleep on his shoulder.

  Bill Stewart telephoned one evening to say that he would be driving through to Heron's Bay the following day, and because of this Adam was instantly on the defensive.

  'I shan't see him,' he insisted stubbornly, scowling at nothing in particular.

  'You won't have to see him… initially,' she said haltingly, 'but if I think that his suggestions are reasonable, I shall bring him up here to the cottage and you'll see him and speak to him yourself.'

  'Kim, you're wasting your time.'

  'We'll see!' she muttered, smiling to herself. She could be just as determined as Adam, but she was so sure that it was merely pride that was keeping him from doing the work he loved that she was almost willing to bet on it.

  Bill Stewart was not at all what Kim had expected. He was a short, stockily built man with a shock of red hair and hazel eyes that appeared to be continually dancing with merriment, even when he was at his most serious.

  'I must say it was a surprise to discover that old Adam had finally taken the plunge into matrimony,' he remarked as they faced each other across a small table in the only tea room Heron's Bay had to offer. 'We all thought that when he did, his choice would fall on… well, perhaps this isn't the time to discuss this subject.'

  Kim regarded him steadily in the gloomy atmosphere of the cafe and noticed his cheeks colouring faintly with embarrassment. 'You've intrigued me, Mr Stewart. Won't you continue with what you were saying?'

  He swallowed a mouthful of tea and moved his shoulders uncomfortably. 'Adam used to knock about quite a bit with Ursula Bennett, a fellow scientist. At the time we thought that he was serious about her, but we were obviously mistaken. Adam has never been predictable in his actions.'

  Just how serious had Adam been about this Ursula Bennett? Kim wondered curiously. If it had not been for the accident, would he have married her? But these were painful thoughts which were best left in the past, she decided as she concentrated on her companion.

  'Shall we get down to the purpose of your visit?' she said.

  'Certainly,' his eyes twinkled and an involuntary smile plucked at her lips. 'We need Adam desperately to complete the job he was working on before the accident. Like so many clever men, he seldom made a note of anything, and preferred keeping his information to himself. We want him back as our Chief Scientist, and we're prepared to be as accommodating as he wishes.'

  Kim's hackles rose sharply. 'Mr Stewart—'

  'Bill,' he interrupted swiftly. 'Call me Bill, Kim, Adam and I are old friends.'

  'Very well… Bill,' her anger simmered as she frowned at him. 'I must warn you never to use the word accommodating when speaking to Adam. To speak of accommodating his wishes smacks of pity, and that's something he abhors.'

  'I've never known Adam to be touchy,' he said.

  'Blindness often affects one in that way,' Kim said quietly, and convincingly. 'Tell me,' she questioned as the silence lengthened uncomfortably between them, 'In which way do you plan to assist him?'

  'Well…' he glanced at her quickly and Kim detected a slight nervousness. 'He's always worked very closely with Ursula Bennett in the past. She knows his methods better than anyone else, so it was decided to make her his personal assistant.'

  Kim crushed the quiver of apprehension that raced through her. So Ursula Bennett was to be brought back into his life prominently, she thought anxiously. And just how would this arrangement affect her own life? Would Adam, once he had found his feet, want to continue his previous relationship with his former girlfriend? Would he regret his hasty decision to marry someone else?

  'In other words,' she swallowed with difficulty, 'Ursula Bennett could give him the visual assistance he would require.'

  'Exactly.'

  'I must not stand in his way,' Kim warned herself as she stared through the window in thoughtful silence at the street beyond. She could see nothing except the rigid disapproval on Adam's face when she left the cottage that morning to meet Bill Stewart. If only he would realise that she was doing this for his own good, instead of which he considered that she was deliberately torturing him. She sighed heavily and returned her attention to her companion, to find his speculative glance resting on her.

  'Tell me about the accident,' she asked him, steering the conversation away from the main topic for a while. 'How did it happen?'

  Bill offered her a cigarette, but when she refused he lit one for himself and blew the smoke forcefully into the air. 'Owing to the negligence of one of the laboratory assistants there was an explosion which killed one man, and blinded Adam.'

  'But his eyes aren't damaged. I mean—'

  'Can you imagine what an explosion in a laboratory is like?' he questioned seriously. 'Chemicals were exploding and there was glass flying about all over the place. Adam was the only person nearest the source of the explosion, other than the chap who was killed, and when I visited him in hospital after the accident I remember him expressing the wish that he had died as well. I laughed at him then, but I had no idea how serious his injuries were.'

  'It is serious, then?'

  'Very.' He frowned at the tip of his cigarette. 'A shiver of glass penetrated the corner of his eye and damaged the optic nerve.'

  'Can't they operate?'

  'Apparently not. As far as I could understand at the time, no one was prepared to risk it.' His glance was curious. 'Why are you asking me all these questions? Hasn't he told you?'

  Kim lowered her lashes and coloured slightly. 'Adam has never wanted to be questioned on the subject.'

  'If I know Adam he most probably blames himself for the accident,' Bill told her with a touch of bitterness. 'He always was a great one for carrying the responsibilities of others on his shoulders.'

  'Adam must return to his work,' Kim remarked with some urgency. 'He can't sit around idly all day, it's wearing him out, but he's as stubborn as a mule. He needs to regain a certain amount of normality in his life in order to gain confidence in himself once more.'

  'Do you think you'll be able to persuade him to see me?' Bill asked, glancing at her from beneath his bushy eyebrows as he crushed his cigarette into the ashtray.

  Could she persuade Adam t
o see Bill, or would his trip down to Heron's Bay have been futile? Bill had remarked that Adam was not predictable, and Kim was forced to acknowledge this. There was no way of knowing just how Adam would react to Bill's suggestions.

  'I'm going to stick my neck out and say yes,' she replied, feeling less confident than she sounded. 'Will you give me a lift up to the cottage and give me the opportunity to speak to Adam first?'

  Bill pushed back his chair and stood up with his briefcase in his hand. 'Kim, I'll do anything you say… if it will help encourage Adam to return.'

  Neither of them said a word until Bill had parked the car on the grass verge in front of the cottage. 'If you hear a bout of shouting going on,' she warned lightly as she turned to face him, 'pay no heed. Once the shouting is over he usually ends up being sensible.'

  Bill grinned at her. 'Good luck!'

  Adam was pacing the floor of the lounge when she entered the cottage. 'I've seen Bill Stewart,' she said with forced casualness, shedding her coat and seating herself in the nearest chair. 'Are you listening, Adam?'

  'Yes, I'm listening,' he said harshly, turning his back on her. 'Am I correct in assuming that he's waiting outside in his car for the all clear from you?'

  'Yes.' Her heart was thumping against her ribs.

  Adam paced about the room with more vigour. 'Well, you can tell him right now that he can go back to where he came from. He's wasting his time.'

  Kim strove for a calmness she was far from experiencing. 'Adam, sit down. I can't talk to you when you persist in marching up and down. It makes my head spin, and it makes me nervous.'

  'Stop ordering me about!'

  'You're shouting,' she reprimanded, raising her voice a fraction.

  'I will damn well shout if I want to!'

  Kim rose swiftly to her feet and caught at the sleeve of his jacket, turning him forcibly to face her. 'Adam, will you believe that I want only what's best for you?'

  His lips tightened harshly. 'I very much doubt that.'

  She winced. 'You're being unkind!'

  'Kim, I refuse to be pitied. I won't have it!' he stated furiously, and she could almost feel the anger vibrating through his body beneath her hands. 'If I return to the Institute I can just imagine the pitying stares of my colleagues. They would make concessions for me which they would never dream of doing for others; they would carefully avoid using words like 'look' and 'see' to the point of madness for fear of drawing attention to my blindness; and when I enter a room they'll jump to my assistance while they sympathetically guide me around the various objects.' He gestured bitterly. 'Oh, I could go on and on. I don't want to be treated like a freak.'

  'Pity and compassion are two human emotions one need never be ashamed of,' she told him bluntly. 'It's only natural that they would feel that way.'

  'Well, I don't want any part of it, thank you!'

  'Adam, be honest with me,' she pleaded, trying to reason with him calmly. 'If the position was reversed, would you not feel the same as they would?'

  He hesitated a moment, but the tenseness did not leave him. 'Naturally, but that doesn't alter the fact—'

  'Adam, sit down and listen to me,' she interrupted, pushing him down on to the couch. 'Trust me, please.' She took another deep breath and continued, 'During these weeks we've spent together something has happened to you without your even realising it. With or without your dark glasses, you have the uncanny knack of looking directly at me. If you stretched out your hand at this moment, you would know exactly where I am to touch me. You've learnt to walk about this cottage completely unaided, and without bumping into the furniture.' She stopped for a moment to make sure that she held his attention. 'These are the things that are worrying you most, they're keeping you from what you want most to do, and it need not be so. You're afraid that you might make a fool of yourself, but you are unnecessarily afraid. Naturally, there are going to be a few minor spills at first, but only until you find your way around.'

  Adam was silent for a moment before he pulled her down beside him. 'I wish I had your confidence, my understanding Kim.'

  She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment and brushed her lips lightly against his cheek. 'Think of it as a challenge which could lead to complete independence. You must admit, Adam, that it's worth a try.'

  'And when and if I gain complete independence, will that be your cue to leave me?' There was a touch of urgency in his voice that did not escape her. 'Are you hoping to gain your freedom?'

  'I shall stay with you for as long as you want me, Adam,' she promised with a warmth and sincerity he could not fail to hear.

  His kiss was long and lingering with an undercurrent of passion that never failed to arouse her. He raised his head suddenly and said tersely, 'Perhaps you'd better tell me what Bill had to say before we go any further.'

  Kim explained swiftly, but could not discern anything from Adam's expression, for it remained inscrutable. 'There are, of course, other factors which only Bill could explain to you,' she concluded hopefully, 'but it all sounds quite reasonable to me.'

  A long silence followed that set her nerves on edge. Through the lounge window she could see Bill Stewart leaning against the bonnet of his car, smoking a cigarette. Was he, too, beginning to feel the strain of waiting? she wondered sympathetically.

  'Tell Bill to come in,' Adam said with a suddenness that made her jump with fright. 'You suggested once that I should know exactly what it was that I'm refusing, so let him in and let's get it over with.'

  The first hurdle had been overcome, Kim thought triumphantly as she went about the kitchen preparing the evening dinner. It was now up to Bill Stewart to convince Adam that he should take the next step, and Bill was certainly taking his time about it so as not to give Adam the impression that he was being pushed into something he was not ready for.

  Kim had thought it best to leave them alone in the lounge, and they had remained closeted there until she was forced to call them for lunch. With Adam's approval she had persuaded Bill to stay the night, and now, with no sign of them emerging from the lounge, she went upstairs to prepare Adam's old room for Bill. What would have happened, she wondered humorously, if Bill had arrived during the first few weeks after their marriage? He would certainly have found it strange that, with two bedrooms in the cottage, there was no place for him to sleep other than on the couch in the lounge.

  It was late that afternoon when she heard Bill calling to her where she was busy turning the roast in the oven. 'Adam wants to know if you're experiencing a drought in the kitchen.'

  'I suppose he wants coffee,' she laughed, emerging from the kitchen looking totally different in a warm woollen dress with an apron tied about her waist, and she was well aware of Bill's appreciative glance as she handed him the tray of coffee. 'I had a feeling that it wouldn't be long before Adam started shouting for liquid refreshment,' she explained mischievously as she disposed of her apron and followed him to the lounge where Adam sat waiting with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

  'I timed it well, didn't I?' he remarked with casual laziness, taking the hand she had placed on his shoulder and pressing his warm lips against her palm.

  She lowered her head and brushed her lips against his lean cheek. 'Has it ever occurred to you that it's perhaps I who know you so well, my dear Adam?'

  Bill stood there holding the tray, his eyebrows raised comically. 'When the two of you have done with complimenting yourselves, may we get down to the business of having our coffee?'

  'Sorry, Bill,' Kim laughed apologetically. 'Put the tray on the table and help yourself. I'll get Adam's and my own.'

  'Adam was telling me how the two of you met,' Bill said eventually when there was a lull in the conversation. 'That was fate if ever there was.'

  Kim nodded and glanced at Adam, but he appeared to have sunk into a world consisting of his own thoughts. 'Well?' she prompted nervously. 'What have you decided?'

  Adam surfaced reluctantly, his lips firmly com-pressed. 'I haven't decided an
ything yet. I would like to sleep on it first.'

  She snorted in disbelief. 'If I know you, you won't sleep at all.'

  'Perhaps not,' he agreed thoughtfully, 'but it's not something I want to take on without careful consideration. There's too much at stake… for everyone concerned.'

  Kim's glance met Bill's and in his eyes she saw the look of a man who, after laying all his cards on the table, found that he had no ace up his sleeve with which to swing the favour in his direction. All he could do was to wait, she realised as some of his tension and apprehensiveness rubbed off on to her.

  After dinner that evening, Adam seemed to snap out of his gloom and they spent a pleasurable evening in front of the fire in the lounge. Adam amazed Kim even further by discussing incidents which had occurred before his accident, something which he had not done before. She listened thankfully as Bill talked to him quite naturally, as though nothing had happened to mar Adam's memories. Bill must have guessed her feelings for he sent her a reassuring smile that released some of the tension which had been building up inside of her during the day.

  Kim was burning with curiosity to know more about Ursula Bennett, but she did not have the nerve to swing the conversation in that direction. How did Adam feel about the prospect of working so closely with this woman? Did it please him? Would he look forward to it?

  She shook herself free of these disturbing thoughts and tried to concentrate on the conversation between Adam and Bill, but they were becoming so technically involved that she went through to the kitchen instead to make them something to drink.

  It was late when they eventually went to bed that night, but in spite of this Kim found that she could not sleep. Her mind was much too occupied with uncomfortable thoughts of the future. She wanted Adam to return to his work, yet there was something about this whole venture that she feared. What was it? Ursula Bennett? No, not entirely. It was something she could not define, but it was there all the same, and no amount of reasoning could dispense with it.