Where Seagulls Cry

by Yvonne Whittal

  Bill Stewart paid them a visit on the Sunday afternoon as he had promised. He was obviously accustomed to letting himself in, for neither Adam nor Kim knew that he had arrived until they heard him call, 'Anyone home?'

  'Yes, we're here in the study,' Kim replied delightedly. 'I'm helping Adam get his books sorted out.'

  Bill sauntered into the study, his hazel eyes dancing with mischief. 'I thought I would be in time for tea.'

  'But you are,' Kim told him swiftly. 'The kettle is on.'

  'Good,' he grinned, glancing at the pile of books on the floor. 'Need any help?'

  Adam frowned slightly. 'Well, if you don't mind lending a hand, then Kim could make the tea which I've been promised for the past hour.'

  'Oh, dear,' Bill muttered in mock despair as Kim escaped to the kitchen. 'I knew I shouldn't have offered!'

  'You'll get nothing for nothing in this place, Bill. Not with Kim around,' Adam informed him with a touch of wry humour. 'She's a slavedriver.'

  'I heard that remark, and I object!' Kim shouted from the kitchen as she hurriedly made the tea and set the tray.

  Bill deliberately raised his voice a pitch. 'Isn't there a saying about those who listen at keyholes hearing nothing good of themselves?'

  Kim realised that they were purposely raising their voices so that she would hear them, and she replied on cue. 'I wasn't listening at the keyhole, and if the two of you aren't careful you won't get tea at all.'

  'We'd better behave, Bill,' Adam warned. 'When she speaks in that tone of voice she can become vicious enough to do just as she says.'

  'I'm beginning to think that the two of you don't like me,' she remarked teasingly as she entered the study with a laden tray. 'Oh, well, perhaps these freshly baked scones will mellow you a little.'

  'Kim, my dear, you are a marvellous creature!' Adam exclaimed, dropping several books on to his desk and facing her innocently.

  'Hear, hear!' Bill echoed dramatically.

  'Now I'm thoroughly suspicious,' she told them abruptly, glancing from one to the other. 'What do the two of you want?'

  'Well, I was hoping for an invitation to dinner,' Bill replied instantly, his hazel eyes dancing with mirth. 'And you, Adam?'

  Adam appeared unperturbed. 'I was just hoping to get dinner at all.'

  'You're both hopeless,' Kim laughed as she placed the tray on the desk and started pouring. 'Bill, you're invited to dinner, and you, Adam, shall have the crumbs off my plate if you behave.'

  'See what I meant about being vicious?' Adam gestured knowingly towards Bill.

  It was quite some time before they settled down to a more serious discussion, and it was Bill who touched on the subject of transport for Adam to and from the centre.

  'If Adam agrees, then I could drive him to the Institute in the mornings and fetch him again in the evenings,' Kim intervened. 'It would at least give me something to do.'

  'Sounds like a good idea to me,' Bill remarked, glancing questioningly at Adam. 'What do you think, Adam?'

  Adam hesitated briefly before replying and, for one brief moment, Kim feared that he would reject her offer. 'If Kim doesn't mind travelling backwards and forwards each day, then I have no objections.'

  Relieved that he had accepted her offer, Kim left them alone when it became apparent that Bill wanted to discuss the work with Adam, and she kept herself occupied in the kitchen preparing dinner. Fortunately she had thought to bring meat and vegetables from the cottage, or they might have been stranded with nothing to eat except several tins of sardines she had discovered in the kitchen cupboard. She had managed to obtain fresh bread, as well as milk, butter and eggs from the delicatessen only a block away, and this would have to last until she could do some shopping the following day.

  After dinner that evening Bill seemed reluctant to leave, and Kim blessed him for it when she answered the doorbell shortly after eight to admit Ursula Bennett. With no more than a cursory glance at Kim, she swept past her, leaving behind a waft of expensive perfume and an excellent view of her backbone where her dress plunged to her waist. Kim closed the door and followed more slowly. Ursula Bennett was a vision of beauty from her platinum blonde head down to the fragile-looking silver sandals on her feet. With her gossamer blue dress swirling about her knees with every movement, she looked as though she had just that minute stepped out of a fashion magazine, making Kim painfully aware of her well-worn sweater and comfortable slacks.

  'Darling,' she purred, hovering over Adam after she was forced to acknowledge Kim's existence while Adam made the introduction. 'It's about time you came back. It's been simply awful without you, and I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear that Bill had managed to persuade you to come out of hiding.'

  Come out of hiding, indeed! Kim thought indignantly, holding her breath as she sensed a growing tension in Adam.

  'I'm afraid you're giving me credit for something I don't deserve, Ursula,' Bill remarked dryly. 'It's Adam's wife you have to thank.'

  'Oh, really?' Her grey eyes were like icicles licking against Kim's skin, and she shivered. This woman was her enemy, and she made no effort to hide the fact.

  'Yes,' Bill continued calmly. 'Without her support my pleas would have been futile.'

  This statement obviously displeased Ursula, but she shrugged it off prettily and moved towards the vacant seat beside Adam on the sofa which Kim had occupied until her arrival. Realising her intention, Bill led her nonchalantly towards a vacant chair beside his own. This increased Ursula's displeasure considerably, but Kim gained a new respect for Bill Stewart. She refused Kim's tentative offer of something to drink, and there was undisguised fury in her eyes as Kim resumed her seat beside Adam.

  Adam had remained comparatively silent throughout this discourse, almost as if he were assimilating the shock of Ursula's sudden appearance as well as the extent of his feelings for her. It was not difficult for Kim to understand why Adam had found Ursula so attractive. There was not a hair out of place on her beautiful head, not a flaw on her creamy skin, and her voluptuous body was seductive enough without any further efforts on her part. Her clear grey eyes were intelligent, though chilling in their appraisal of Kim, but they came alive subtly when they rested on Adam. She wanted him, Kim realised with sudden clarity, and she would stop at nothing to get him.

  'I believe you're to be my personal assistant, Ursula,' Adam remarked casually, but by the set of his jaw Kim knew that his tenseness had not evaporated.

  'Who else knows your work better than I do?' she replied, the distinct purr back in her voice. 'I was the logical choice, seeing that we'd worked together so closely in the past.'

  Kim glanced warily at Bill, but he smiled reassuringly. Would he be her ally in a time of need? she wondered curiously.

  Ursula wanted to talk shop, but this time it was Adam who stopped her decisively with, 'I don't think we should talk about work this evening. It's not fair on Kim.'

  'You're not a scientist, then?' she asked, giving Kim the full benefit of her stony glance while knowing the. answer to her subtle question.

  'No, she's not,' Adam replied abruptly. 'Thank God,' he added in a voice which was barely perceptible to Kim's own ears, and her heart leapt with the knowledge that science was no recommendation with Adam.

  To Kim's relief, Ursula did not stay long. She had arrived, made her impact on them all, and then announced that she was departing. As they rose to their feet, she placed a possessive hand on Adam's arm and delivered her parting shot. 'I'll pick you up in the morning, darling. It's on my way.'

  Kim stared after her in dismay as she swept through the door and into the lift. 'Well, that takes care of your transport problem, doesn't it?' she said abruptly, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

  Both men turned then to face her, but Adam was the first to react by placing an arm about her waist and pulling her hard against his side. 'It's perhaps a sensible solution,' he said carefully. 'As Ursula said, it's on her way. She has to pass Sea Point on her way from Ca
mps Bay.'

  'That's true, of course,' Kim acknowledged, but not without a certain amount of reluctance.

  Adam's hand tightened on her waist before he released her. 'What about making some coffee?'

  It was an instruction, not merely a suggestion, but Kim was thankful for the opportunity to be alone for a few minutes to gather her scattered wits about her. She moved about the kitchen, doing what she had to quite mechanically while her mind roamed elsewhere. She had met Ursula Bennett sooner than she had expected, and for the first time in her life she had acquired an enemy. If war was to be declared openly between them, Kim knew she would not stand a chance. Ursula was beautiful and clever, and they were two valuable weapons which Kim did not possess.

  When she returned to the living-room some moments later, she caught the tail end of the conversation as Bill said with some urgency, 'You'll have to be careful, Adam.'

  Be careful of what? she kept wondering throughout the rest of the evening. Was Bill referring to the work, or Ursula Bennett? She presumed there would be a certain amount of danger involved in Adam's work, but would it necessitate a warning from Bill? If, however, he was referring to Ursula, then Kim could understand the reason for Bill's remark, but what had Adam said that could have instigated it?

  After Bill left that evening, Kim took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror, and what she saw did nothing to bolster her confidence. Russet-coloured hair hanging thick and straight down her back; large, anxious green eyes beneath straight dark eyebrows; a small nose and a pointed chin, with a generous mouth and high cheekbones that were inclined to develop hollows beneath them when she was tired. It was not an unattractive face, but not the kind that would launch a thousand ships; not like Ursula's. The rest of her appearance left much to be desired, she thought despairingly as she continued her critical observation of herself. Her breasts were too small and her waist too thin, and when she walked there was none of that flowing grace with which Ursula had swept in and out of the penthouse that evening.

  'Aren't you coming to bed?' Adam asked impatiently.

  'Just coming,' she sighed, turning away from her despairing image in the mirror and slipping into the bed beside him. On Adam's instructions she had pushed the two beds close together so that he could at least hold her hand if he wished. She snapped off the light and lay staring into the darkness for some time before she was forced to remark, 'She's very beautiful, isn't she?'

  'I presume you mean Ursula?'

  'Yes.' Kim held her breath as she waited for his affirmative reply.

  'Ursula is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen,' he said at length, not realising that he was twisting the knife deeper into her heart. 'She always reminded me of a cool lake in a scorching desert.'

  'A frozen lake, more likely, with ice cubes where her heart ought to be,' Kim thought cattishly as sheer unadulterated jealousy surged through her. 'Why did you never marry her?' she asked.

  'I don't know. I suppose I just somehow never got around to asking her.'

  'Would you, if you'd been free now, have asked her to marry you?' Kim continued, her pulse throbbing with agonising precision against her temples.

  'That question is irrelevant,' Adam pointed out irritably. 'I am married, and there's no question of marrying Ursula. Why should I want to marry her when I have you, my beautiful Kim?'

  'But, Adam, I'm not beautiful,' she protested, silent tears choking her.

  Adam moved suddenly beside her. 'Hold my hand, Kim,' he instructed harshly, and as his fingers gripped hers he continued: 'To me you are beautiful, Kim, and I refuse to believe that anyone with a nature such as yours could be ugly.' He leaned over her unexpectedly and kissed her hard and convincingly on the mouth. 'Now stop talking or I shall never get to sleep.'

  Her fears momentarily lulled, but not entirely stilled, Kim drifted off into an easy sleep where reality could not touch her for a few hours.

  Adam was awake earlier than usual that Monday morning. It was restless energy combined with tension, he confessed when Kim awoke to find that he had already bathed and shaved, and was going through his wardrobe in search of something to wear. She watched him closely for some minutes, but when he finally selected a blue shirt and dark green suit, she had to intervene.

  'You can't wear that, the colours will clash,' she told him calmly as she slipped out of bed and went to his aid, selecting a dark brown suit and cream-coloured shirt, with a tie to match. She also placed his shoes and socks beside the bed where she knew he would find them.

  Leaving Adam to dress himself, Kim went through to the bathroom and could not help smiling as she looked about her. Very few women would walk into a bathroom after their husbands had emerged, to find everything so orderly, but Adam's blindness had enforced this tidiness if he wished to find what he wanted without effort. His electric razor and after-shave lotion was placed neatly on the shelf, and his damp towel was draped across the towel rack. Nothing was out of place.

  Later, when Adam sat down to breakfast, Kim stared at him in astonishment. In the unfamiliar clothes, with his hair brushed severely into place, he had become the distinguished stranger she had seen only once before on their wedding day. This was Dr Adam Granger, scientist, a fact which had not made much impression on her before, but it was something she would have difficulty in ignoring in the future. Something close to fear lodged in her stomach. They were suddenly worlds apart; moving in different spheres. If it had not been for his blindness, they might never have met, and, even now, it was only his blindness and her understanding that bound them together. She loved him, but would that be enough for a man like Adam?

  'Have I lost you somewhere, Kim?' Adam asked suddenly, interrupting her thoughts.

  'No, I'm still here,' she laughed hollowly, placing his plate of eggs and bacon in front of him and putting the toast rack within easy reach. 'I was thinking.'

  'What about?'

  Kim cupped her chin in her hands and watched him eat in silence for a moment, marvelling at his adeptness. 'I was thinking about you. You look so different. You are different.'

  'I suppose it's the clothes,' he suggested, helping himself to another slice of toast. 'There was never any need to dress other than casually at Heron's Bay. That's what makes it such a splendid retreat.'

  'It's not only the clothes,' she remarked thoughtfully, a frown appearing between her eyes. 'There's an aura about you this morning that's strange. It's almost as if you've become another person.'

  Adam put down his knife and fork abruptly and extended his hand, palm upwards, towards her. 'Who am I, Kim?' he asked as she placed her hand hesitantly in his.

  'At the moment you're Dr Adam Granger to the very last detail,' she replied, not quite understanding.

  Adam shook his head impatiently. 'Let me put it this way. What am I… to you?'

  Kim met his blue gaze and her treacherous heart missed a beat. 'You're… my husband.'

  'Exactly,' he nodded, releasing her hand, 'and don't forget it.'

  The burning desire to say, 'Adam, I love you,' made her lean back weakly in her chair, closing her eyes as she bit back the words that were spilling from her heart and hovering on her lips. This was not the time, nor the place, and Adam would not appreciate the mention of the word 'love'. It was a word he had silently and cynically made taboo in their relationship.

  Kim accompanied Adam down in the lift and while she waited with him in the foyer, she helped him check through the items in his briefcase once more before he left. Ursula arrived with a flourish in her red Mustang soon after eight, stepping out on to the pavement with polished grace, and looking as though she was about to partake in a fashion parade.

  'I'm not late, am I?' she purred up at Adam, completely ignoring Kim's presence. 'The traffic was rather heavy.'

  Adam assured her that they had not been waiting long and then, to Ursula's obvious vexation, he drew Kim into his arms and kissed her thoroughly on the lips.

  'Don't forget that you have some shopping to
do this morning,' he reminded her with the old mocking grin, and she blushed furiously as she realised that he was referring to the purchase of a double bed. 'You'll find a signed cheque on the dressing table.'

  With a last brief kiss he released her, and allowed Ursula to lead him to her car. Kim stood staring after them, suddenly lost, and with a taste of loneliness to come. She would miss Adam, and the times they had spent together. She would like to think she had contributed towards his total independence, preparing him as one would a child for school. Now he was on his own, with Ursula to complete the progress.

  Kim turned and entered the lift with a distasteful grimace flicking across her sensitive face. It would be foolish to ignore the fact that Ursula was a threat to their happiness, but there was absolutely nothing Kim could do about it.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Loneliness became the essence of' Kim's life while Adam spent hours at the Institute, often not arriving home until long after dinner. The evenings Kim hated most were those when Adam and Ursula spent the evening behind the closed door of his study while they went over the paper work of the project. Ursula would arrive with Adam just before dinner, and Kim would be left with no alternative but to invite her to join them. After dinner Kim would find herself making endless trips to and from the kitchen to supply them with the liquid refreshment they required. There never appeared to be any time to spend alone with Adam. Ursula was always there, forcing Kim into the background with her scientific knowledge and, Kim suspected, using the project as an excuse to claim Adam's attention at all times.

  Adam adapted to this new situation with surprising swiftness. There were a few minor incidents at work which had angered him, but, after his own initial nervousness and that of his colleagues, everything seemed to go smoothly.

  Nothing else existed beyond the project for Adam, and although Kim tried to understand and accept this, it was a little frightening to discover that her husband was becoming a stranger to her in every way. Bill Stewart became aware of Kim's increasing loneliness soon after their arrival in Cape Town and, whenever possible, he paid her a visit and kept her company while Adam and Ursula were occupied in the study.