Where Seagulls Cry

by Yvonne Whittal

  Kim raised her head in surprise. 'Are you truly free? You're not just saying this because you feel you have to?'

  'No, my darling, I'm not just saying this because I feel I have to. I need the peace and quiet of Heron's Bay.'

  'My darling.' He had said it again, and her treacherous pulse quickened alarmingly.

  'Would you like to go?' Adam persisted, frowning down at her, and she lost herself in his blue gaze.

  'Oh, yes, Adam,' came her enthusiastic reply. 'Yes, I would like to go very much.'

  'That's settled, then,' he said briefly, dropping a kiss on her silky head. 'If you pick me up at work early Friday afternoon, then we can drive directly to Heron's Bay.'

  Happiness surged through her like a melting warmth as she pressed closer to him. 'Oh, Adam, I… I think you're wonderful!'

  Kim sobered instantly the minute those words were uttered, her joy momentarily forgotten. She had been about to say, I love you. The words had lain ready on her tongue and quivering on her lips before she realised it, and was able to think of a substitute.

  'Am I forgiven, then?' Adam asked softly, his hand warm against her cheek.

  Kim turned her head slightly and pressed her lips against the palm of his hand. 'How can I help but forgive you when you ask so nicely?'

  CHAPTER NINE

  Kim and Adam did not arrive at Heron's Bay before nightfall that Friday night, and Kim experienced a familiar stirring of excitement in her veins as she drove up the winding road that led to the cottage. This was where it had all begun, she thought as she approached the cottage and parked the Peugeot in the driveway. This was her place of complete happiness.

  'Just smell that sea air, Kim,' said Adam, drawing the air deep into his lungs while they stood for a moment in the moonlit darkness beside the car.

  'It's good to be back,' Kim said simply and, for once, Adam did not accuse her of being romantically sentimental.

  There was a faint musty smell about the cottage as they entered, and Kim was forced to air the rooms slightly before they finally went to bed. The layer of dust on the furniture would just have to wait until the next day, she decided as she looked tiredly about her. Adam's suggestion that they should spend the week-end at Heron's Bay had come as a wonderful surprise. It was going to be good not to have Ursula around for two whole days, Kim thought ecstatically. Just Adam and herself, with nothing but the sound of the sea, and the mewing of the seagulls overhead to pleasantly disturb the peace.

  Kim slept dreamlessly that night until Adam woke her early the following morning. He sat, fully dressed, on the side of the bed with the sun streaming in through the open window, and the slight breeze rippling playfully through the lace curtains.

  'Come on, lazybones! The seagulls woke me ages ago.'

  Kim glared at him through half closed eyelids and stifled a yawn. 'You sound disgustingly wide awake.'

  'I want us to go down to the beach for a swim before the wind comes up, but I want some breakfast first.'

  Kim's eyes flew open and she stared up into that lean face with the thick strands of hair that persisted in hanging untidily on his wide brow. 'Food!' she exclaimed, feigning disgust. 'That's all you ever think of.'

  'I think about other things as well,' he grinned meaningfully, scooping her up into his arms effortlessly before she could protest, but she held him off with her hands planted firmly against his chest.

  'I know that I should have mentioned this before,' she remarked guiltily, changing the subject, 'but what will happen if they should need you urgently at the Institute over the week-end?'

  'Ursula will just have to cope on her own.'

  'Do you think they might need you?'

  Adam's expression was suddenly amused. 'Are you hoping something might spoil our week-end?'

  'No, but I should hate to be the cause of keeping you away from something which could be important.'

  Adam lowered his head and inhaled the fragrance of her hair while his lips moved deliciously against her neck. 'Nothing is as important as this week-end here with you,' he murmured close to her ear with some urgency.

  'Adam, you sometimes say the nicest things,' Kim sighed happily, sliding her arms about his neck and pressing closer to him.

  'What man wouldn't when he's holding such a seductive little bundle in his arms?' he returned mockingly.

  'Oh, go away, you hateful man!' Kim laughed exasperatedly, escaping skilfully from the delightful warmth of his arms and making a dash for the bathroom.

  Adam was strangely different, Kim thought as she bathed and changed into slacks and a cool blouse. It was almost as if he had recaptured his carefree attitude in the peaceful atmosphere of Heron's Bay. She had to admit that it affected her in the same way as well. The past months in Cape Town could be almost nonexistent if she shut her mind to it, and she could almost make herself believe that they had never left this paradise which had been their first home after their marriage. If Adam had not been so tied up at the Institute, they might have been able to escape to this retreat more often, but as it was, they had neglected this cottage drastically.

  The sea was beautifully calm when they went down to their private beach for a swim after breakfast. Adam swam with long, powerful strokes beside Kim until she turned on to her back and floated, too exhausted to keep up with him.

  'Don't tell me you're tired already,' he laughed at her, treading water when he no longer heard her swimming beside him.

  Kim felt herself being lifted by a wave and deposited close enough to Adam to reach out and grab hold of his shoulders. He gave her an unexpected ducking and she came up spluttering.

  'Are you trying to drown me?' she gasped as she stared up into his laughing face. A strenuous struggle followed as she tried to pay him back in the same manner, but she eventually collapsed against him, laughing helplessly as her efforts failed.

  Just at that moment a wave broke over them catching them off balance, and they both went down to emerge, coughing and spluttering amid their laughter, and close enough to the beach to wade out.

  'Let's dry out in the sun,' Kim suggested, wringing out her wet hair as she regained her breath.

  'Not a bad suggestion,' Adam agreed, still coughing as he took her arm and dragged her out with him on to the warm, white sand.

  They towelled themselves dry before spreading out their towels and lying down with the sun beating down on them. Kim turned over on to her stomach and buried her face in her arms, and for some time she was aware only of a pleasant drowsiness, and a contentment she had not known for some time. Adam was beside her, his arm brushing lightly against hers as he settled himself comfortably, and Kim turned her head slightly to glance at him. His muscular body was tanned a golden-brown, his chest rising and falling gently as he breathed, and his face turned towards the sun. She experienced an overwhelming urge to touch him, but just then his eyes opened and he levered himself up on to one elbow as he faced her.

  'Are you happy, Kim?'

  Surprised, she raised herself up on to her elbows and stared at him. 'I'm happy if you are, Adam.'

  He smiled tolerantly. 'That doesn't exactly answer my question, does it?'

  'Adam,' she began, hesitating slightly to assimilate her thoughts, 'have you at any time regretted being married to me?'

  'That's a rather odd question!'

  'Perhaps, but I would like an honest answer.'

  Adam was silent for some time, his expression thoughtful and frighteningly serious. 'Yes, I have occasionally regretted asking you to marry me,' he said at length, and Kim shivered despite the warmth of the sun on her skin. 'I seem to have taken so much from you without giving much in return. I'm aware of your loneliness, Kim, while I spend hours at work, and it's something that troubles me greatly.'

  'I don't begrudge you the hours you spend at work while I'm alone at home.' She glanced at him with swift concern. 'You are happy, aren't you, now that you're back at work?'

  'Yes, I am… although it's most frustrating to have to rely o
n someone else's eyes all the time. It's stemmed the progress of the project considerably.' He gestured impatiently. 'I don't want to talk about work.'

  Kim lowered her head on to her arms once more, and closed her eyes. 'What would you like to talk about?' she asked. . 'You.'

  'Me?' she asked in astonishment, not daring to raise her head to look at him.

  His fingers trailed along the column of her spine and for the first time Kim realised that she was dressed rather scantily in a bikini which she had bought on one of her irrational shopping sprees. His hands rested for a moment in the hollow of her back, then moved upwards again towards her shoulder. Kim remained perfectly still, every nerve vibrant and responding deliriously to his touch.

  'Hm… you've got sand on your back.'

  Kim glanced at him quickly. 'So have you. Shall we have a quick swim to wash off the sand before we go home?'

  'Later,' he said firmly, turning her over on to her back and holding her there with the weight of his body. 'I've never kissed you on the beach before, have I?'

  He lowered his head, blotting out the sun, and the world spun dizzily about her as her lips came to life beneath the demanding pressure of that hard mouth. His kiss was deliberately sensual, and uncontrollable desire pulsed through her veins. It frightened her, this intense emotion he always roused within her.

  'Adam, please! Someone might see us,' she gasped eventually, trying to push him away. But he caught hold of her wrists and pinned her arms against her sides with his strong hands, making her efforts of escape futile.

  'Is there a law against a man kissing his wife on the beach?' he asked roughly, trailing his lips across her cheek, and down along the column of her throat to where a pulse throbbed in wild response to his touch.

  'No, but…'

  'Your skin is warm and salty,' he murmured, his lips seeking the mysteriously enticing hollow between her breasts.

  'Adam… don't!' she gasped pleadingly as her clamouring emotions shook through her slender frame. For some inexplicable reason she did something then which she had always prided herself on being able to control in the past. She lost all power of coherent thought, and whispered brokenly: 'Adam, I—I love you.'

  The minute those words were uttered, Kim went cold and rigid with fright. What had she said! Those words had come from a heart so filled with intense love for him that they no longer could be suppressed. She had not intended ever confessing her love, but she could no longer hide it, and she prayed silently for strength to bear the humiliation which was sure to follow.

  Adam raised his head slowly, staring down at her as though he could see every delicate contour of her face, and the inevitable cynical twist to his lips was clearly evident as she stared warily up at him. Waiting for the blow to fall.

  'Do you, Kim? Do you love me as much as you love that apple pie you're always so fond of baking?'

  A searing pain shot through her and she shuddered involuntarily as he released her. 'Let's go and have our last swim, shall we?' she suggested.

  The effort to keep her voice casual had almost choked her, and the tears that sprang to her eyes blurred her vision, making her gasp as her body hit the cold water with a suddenness she had not anticipated. Adam swam about energetically while Kim followed him at a leisurely pace. Perhaps it would be as well to adopt Adam's attitude and pretend that she had never uttered those words, she decided eventually, but the rawness in her heart could not be denied.

  The vicar, Mr Wilson, arrived unexpectedly that Saturday afternoon. He came trudging up the hill, his bald head glistening in the sun, and obviously out of breath from the unaccustomed exertion.

  'I saw the car,' he explained as he joined them for tea in a shady spot of the garden. 'My wife is away visiting the children, and it can get rather lonely in the manse without a nagging woman around. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your car up here, and I just had to come and make sure.'

  'You're very welcome,' Kim assured him as she handed him his tea.

  'I didn't hear your car, sir,' Adam remarked, settling back to light his pipe. 'Did you walk?'

  'I did, yes,' their visitor replied with an embarrassed laugh, patting his stomach. 'I needed the exercise and, believe me, it's quite a strenuous walk up the hill.'

  Adam nodded briefly, puffing smoke into the air, and Kim wondered uncomfortably just what he was thinking at that moment. Did he resent Mr Wilson's untimely visit, or did it please him to think that their visitor had taken the trouble to call? Kim studied his expression but found it impossible to analyse.

  'Have you settled comfortably in Cape Town, Dr Granger?' Mr Wilson asked, draining his cup and mopping his face and neck with a large white handkerchief.

  'Yes, I have,' Adam admitted amiably. 'It hasn't been easy, but thanks to my colleagues, I've managed to regain a semblance of normality in my life.' He turned towards Kim and gave her the most brilliant smile that almost took her breath away. 'I must add that, without Kim, none of this would have been possible.'

  'Praise from you, Adam, is something quite rare,'

  Kim said quietly, a new warmth stealing about her chilled heart. 'Thank you.'

  'I must give credit where it's due.'

  'Are you staying long?' Mr Wilson interrupted.

  'Only until tomorrow,' Adam replied swiftly. 'I'm due back at work on Monday, unfortunately.'

  'Pity,' Mr Wilson murmured with regret. 'My wife will be sorry to have missed you, I'm sure.'

  'I'm sorry I wasn't able to see her as well,' Kim said ruefully. 'Perhaps when we come again I might have the opportunity to pay her a visit.'

  'She would like that,' Mr Wilson nodded, rising to his feet. 'I must leave you again, as I still have a sermon to prepare for tomorrow.'

  'Kim will give you a lift down to the village,' Adam said with unexpected concern.

  'Oh, no, the walk will do me far more good, I assure you, but thank you for the kind offer.'

  'I'll walk a little way with you, then,' Kim insisted, glancing anxiously at Adam's tall figure rising from the chair. 'You don't mind, do you, Adam?'

  'Not at all. I'll wait here for you.' He extended his hand towards Mr Wilson and the older man clasped it briefly. 'It was nice meeting you again,' Adam said with surprising sincerity. 'Thank you for the short visit, and pass on my regards to your wife when she returns.'

  'I'll do that. Thank you.'

  They were some distance from the cottage when Mr Wilson stopped and turned to Kim. 'I must admit I'm glad of this opportunity to speak to you alone,' he said. 'I've been very concerned about you, Kim.'

  'There was no need for you to be concerned,' she said swiftly. 'Adam has been very good to me, and I can assure you we're very happy together.'

  Mr Wilson regarded her closely for interminable seconds before speaking. 'I must say that marriage has made you blossom into an extraordinarily attractive young woman, but there is a hint of a shadow in your eyes, Kim, that makes me believe that everything is not as rosy as you would have me believe. Am I right?'

  Kim met his steady glance and bit her lip nervously. 'We have our problems like everyone else, I think.'

  Mr Wilson gripped her shoulder, the pressure of his fingers reassuring. 'If you ever need someone to talk to, you need only telephone and I'll come to you in the city.'

  'You're very kind, but I can't expect you to—'

  'I'm serious,' he assured her.

  'I know,' Kim nodded, her throat tightening, 'and I appreciate your offer tremendously.'

  They said goodbye and Kim stood for some time watching the vicar's progress down the hill. As he reached the first cottages at the bottom of the hill, he turned and, seeing her still standing there, he waved. Kim waved back and retraced her steps slowly to where Adam was waiting for her in the garden. He appeared to be in a strangely pensive mood when she joined him, and it was not long before she knew the reason behind it.

  'I've been thinking lately that I should sell the cottage,' he said.

  'Oh, no!' Kim exclai
med with rising alarm. 'Adam, you can't sell it! I won't let you!'

  'Relax, Kim. I've changed my mind now that we have been here again.' He removed his pipe from his mouth and placed it carefully on the ashtray beside him. 'This cottage may yet serve its purpose.'

  Kim drew her breath in sharply and felt an uneasy stirring at the pit of her stomach. 'The way you said that makes it sound rather ominous. It's as if you're planning something unpleasant.'

  'You're imagining things,' he laughed suddenly, rising to his feet and reaching for her hand. 'Come on, I'd like to go for a walk along the beach before you make supper.'

  Kim allowed herself to be drawn to her feet, but throughout their walk she was conscious of the slow, heavy beat of her heart, almost as if it were beating out a message of impending danger. Danger of what? she wondered irritably, trying to shake off this sudden, feeling that something was about to happen—something which could quite easily destroy her marriage.

  That night, as she lay in Adam's arms listening to the sounds of the insects in the undergrowth which was almost drowned by the roar of the sea, her thoughts kept returning to this feeling she had developed so suddenly that afternoon. Was their marriage in danger of being destroyed? Would Adam be the destroyer, or would Ursula finally succeed in her objective?

  Kim buried her face in Adam's shoulder and prayed that it was nothing more than her imagination playing tricks on her. More than ever before she needed the security and knowledge of Adam's love, but Adam believed that security and love did not exist, and she was incapable of proving him wrong.

  After their return to the city, the week-end at Heron's Bay became nothing but a memory Kim could cling to. Adam was instantly swept up in his work, becoming completely engrossed in it. His pensive mood, which she had noticed for the first time that week-end at the cottage, seemed to increase daily until he was totally preoccupied with his own thoughts. He hardly ever spoke to her when he was home, and Kim found herself going to bed alone each night while Adam spent hours sitting alone in his study.