by Rolf Nelson
Crewman1: Sir?
Hussein Capt: What?
Crewman1: Official call from your nephew.
Hussein Capt: I’ll take it in my ready-room.
He smiles and walks off the bridge. As he passes bridge crew they go to rigid attention, whether sitting or standing, then back at ease after he passes. He exits the bridge through a side door.
CUT TO
HMS Hussein’s Captain’s ready room
A large and opulent room full of cushy seats, settees and decorations. Standing next to the central seat is a boyish young man of 12 or 14 years, slender, sheer form fitting clothes, with a cloth over the crook of one arm like a waiter. As the Captain approaches, the servant hands him a drink. The Captain accepts it, eyes the young man for a moment, then waves him out of the room. As the boy leaves, the Captain sits down in the large central seat and addresses the ship AI.
Hussein Capt: Put the message on screen.
A large screen on one side clears its decorative image of a hugely fat nearly nude woman, replaced with the Warehouse Manager’s face, looking angry and flustered.
Warehouse Manager: I’m terribly sorry to bother you on such short notice. A shipper showed up ahead of schedule and managed to load and lift before a judgment against them could be filed! I don’t know what kind of evil magic they performed to load so fast, but they slipped out at dawn and did not respond to orders to return. It’s a small ship, an old Meridian, the load barely fit. The Tajmagica they said. And the dogs hacked the computers here as they were leaving! Left no record of their being here. NOTHING. Just a “delivered as required” notice with no personnel, ship transponder data, or company information! NOTHING! They messed with the backup accounting records, too! Hunt them down and GET THEM BACK HERE! The judgment should be official shortly! Please, HURRY!
The transmission ends, replaced by the previous image. The captain sits motionless for a moment, then shakes his head in disappointment.
Hussein Capt: (To himself, disappointedly) He’s got one job. One. Keep people from loading too fast, and he can’t even do that. Even manages to have the accounts hacked. Pathetic. Might need to hire a different nephew.
He sighs and hefts himself up out of his seat, heading for the door. It slides silently open for him, and as he walks through he starts barking orders.
Hussein Capt: Sensors, track ALL ships leaving the DMS! Find a small transport! Navigation, plot for Emirate, shortest time! Wing Commander, prep four interceptors for launch and get the pilots ready! We are going to go rumble some thieves, bring them back for trial and execution!
The bridge explodes into activity, and several of those standing around run for the doors to perform tasks his orders require.
FADE TO BLACK
Not a hockey player
CUT TO
INT - DAY - Bridge of HMS Hussein
Captain sits in his raised command chair, brooding.
Sensor Tech: Sir, I think I found them!
Hussein Capt: On the main screen!
A diagram shows the sun, a half dozen planets, an icon for the HMS Hussein with a vector arrow attached pointing inward to inner planets from the fourth ring gas giant at 2 o’clock, and an icon for the suspected Tajemnica with a shorter vector arrow pointing away from them, inward across the system toward 9 o’clock, with dotted lines showing expected future courses. The Hussein is far away, but much faster.
In the lower right of the screen a data box pops up. It reads
Name: NO DATA
Class: NO DATA
Registered: NO DATA
Sensor tech: They obviously reset it. Everything else in the area is known and verified.
Hussein Capt: Navigation, any chance they can transition before we get there?
Nav Tech: Not likely, sir. Acceleration barely two.
Sensor tech: A two drive Sokolov calliope. We have three times their acceleration. The interceptors five.
Hussein Capt: (Smiling with evil glee) You can run, but not fast enough.
The data displayed in the screen box changes. NO DATA disappears, and in its place:
Name: Irony
Class: Nightmare
Registered: Once upon a time, somewhere, someone knew me
The captain snorts in derision.
Hussein Capt: So, the jokers think they have a sense of humor, eh. Well. Joke’s on them. We know who you are now! Lay an intercept course! Get ready to launch when we are eight hours away unless it looks like they manage to get a little more acceleration under themselves. You can run, little freighter, but you can’t hide… you can’t hide.
DISSOLVE TO
INT - DAY - Tajemnica Bridge
Helton, Bipasha, Kaushik, Allonia, and Cooper at stations, Lag leaning casually against the command console.
The main display screen diagrams their situation. There are icons for Tajemnica, HMS Hussein, and close to her a small icon with a “4” next to it, and a series of various arcs this way and that, all of which converge at one point or another. Near the edge of the display is a red line labeled “Transition.” Not too far from it is a small moon, and on the top a larger circle labeled Rings.
Helton: Damn. Those interceptors will get to us before we can transition.
Bipasha: Can’t we hide behind that moon?
Cooper: Nope. That’s the one that surprised us on the way in.
Helton: Yeah, we should avoid it if we can.
Kaushik: What’s the exclusion zone look like?
On the display a circle appears around the moon. It extends just past the planet.
Helton: Hmmm… Not too bad. Maybe we could curve around behind it; we’re slower, we can make a sharper turn. They’d have to decelerate to get around it. Then they’d have to rumble us at a much slower speed.
Allonia: Rumble?
Cooper: Pass at high acceleration and set up a drive field interference problem that would make us shake and vibrate. You break engines that way if you’re not careful.
Lag: That wouldn’t be very smart. We have a lot more mass than they do. I’d do a radio threat and missiles, not a rumble. This thing’s drives are set up more like a tug than a racer.
Helton: You said you worked here a while back. Think they are smart enough to know that?
Lag: Good point… Likely not. Give an asshole yokel the best equipment in the system, and he’s still an asshole yokel, regardless of rank and name. They’d want to show off their new toys. I think you are right, they are likely to try to rumble us.
Helton: Plot a curve behind that moon, make them slow down a bit, or else they’d overshoot going too fast and have no choice but launch at us. I’m sure they’d like to get their ammo back cleanly to sell again, and missiles are so messy. But not too close. It buys a bit of time.
DISSOLVE TO
Tajemnica Engineering
Stenson and his crew work frantically to get the drives operational.
Stenson: Another hour. More for even basic testing.
Helton: We don’t have that much time.
Stenson: The Sokolovs are moving us. We have to shut them down to spin up the Harmons, and that change is going to take a couple of minutes minimum, if everything is perfect on the first try. Synchronizing will take more time.
Helton: We don’t have any guns, missiles, beams, anything offensive. We only have running and a shitload of extra mass and no time to dump it! We need those drives up!
Stenson: Working as fast as I can, but I’m not a miracle worker!
Helton: We only have-
Helton suddenly freezes with a thoughtful expression.
Helton: You said this thing has tough armor. How tough?
Stenson: Not going to stop a contact hit from a heavy anti-ship missile straight-on, I wouldn’t think.
Helton: How about a collision at moderate speed?
Stenson: WHAT?!
Helton: I think they’re going to rumble us. How fast could you invert and cycle the drive fields?
Stenson: It’d take
… wait. (Suddenly incredulous) NO! You CANNOT be SERIOUS! With enough velocity a used bandage would blow a bloody big hole in a ship, and those are sixty-ton interceptors!
Helton: They’ll have to slow down to make the turn around the moon, and move slow enough they don’t break their own drives rumbling us.
Stenson: Dammit, Helton! This is a starship, not a hockey player!
Helton: You said it’s the toughest warship hull ever built. Time to find out just what that means. How long?
Stenson: (Tired and frustrated) Aw crap, I don’t know. I’ll let you know what’s possible as soon as I know.
Helton: (Matter of factly) No guns. No missiles. Can’t run. Nowhere to hide… No other option. Get it ready. We’ll only have one chance.
FADE OUT
Rumble
FADE IN
EXT - NIGHT - Space, not far from the corp-war robot mil-moon
The ringed planet and moons hang in the distance. Tajemnica streaks by, blocky, angular, and dirty, space glowing faintly around it. Shortly behind it is a formation of four lean, lethal-looking spacecraft, streamlined for atmospheric flight. The interceptors are moving faster, the glowing molecules excited by their drives are bright.
CUT TO
INT - NIGHT - Cockpit of lead interceptor
A handsome young man, dashing in his immaculate uniform spacesuit and perfect hair, sits comfortably strapped into his seat surrounded by controls and screens. His sneer of superiority sits on well-worn lines across his face.
Prince Walid: This is Prince Walid of the Cruiser Hussein to unregistered piece of shit freighter Taj-shitica. You are ordered to return to port now, or we will use you for target practice. Respond.
There is a pause as he looks out the windows at his wingmen, then forward at the rapidly approaching Tajemnica.
Prince Walid: Last chance before we break you!
A long pause while he listens for a reply.
Prince Walid: (Disdainfully) Didn’t think so. Cowards. (He thumbs a control) Line up behind me, time to rumble the dog!
CUT TO
EXT - NIGHT - Space not far from the robot mil-moon
View from above Tajemnica showing the interceptors stretching out into a line. They surge forward and blaze past, close, one after another, glowing patches around them overlapping with the fainter glow surrounding Tajemnica, creating ripples of interference patterns in the glow where the fields interact, like intersecting ripples on a pond.
CUT TO
INT - DAY - Tajemnica’s bridge
Helton, Cooper, Kaushik, Lag, Bipasha, and Allonia at their normal places.
The screen a display shows the line of interceptors moving by, the bridge and the people in it shake and sway slightly as they pass.
Cooper: Not bad. Guess that’s what happens when you try to push around someone bigger than you.
Helton: Been through worse than that landing. (Into mic) Stenson, drop power on the Sokolovs.
Stenson: (OC) They broke one!
Helton: Well then, prepare to kill the other one, start getting the Harmons ready.
Lag: They’ll likely try coming around again for another pass as group. It’ll take them a while to stop and come back by us. Eight, maybe ten minutes.
On the speaker, a mechanical voice calls.
Moonlet: (OC, on cabin speaker) Challenge gallium Albert chocolate tintinnabulation.
Ship AI: (OC, similar voice) Respond alpha arsenic Carthage galaxy trophy.
Moonlet: (OC) Send cladistic profiler for final.
Cooper: What the HELL?! We are outside their exclusion zone! And we CAN’T jump!
Helton: If we can’t transition, don’t get any closer. If they fire, we are all screwed.
Everyone looks at the screens nervously. Nothing to do but wait and hope the drives are back on line in time for the next rumble.
CUT TO
Cockpit of Prince Walid’s interceptor
Walid bounces around vigorously, and outside his windows are the ripples and glow of the interfering drive fields. A couple of warning lights flash in screens and a dedicated warning light turns red. His expression shows surprise, then anger. He looks over his instruments, thumbs a button.
Prince Walid: (Contemptuously) Looks like they are down to one drive. Bastard barely moved! OK, when we pass back, we go by all at once, you three very close together with synced up fields. I’ll be right behind you to match and ride the interference wave you set up. That should shake them up and take down their remaining drive. They’ll be stuck!
CUT TO
Engineering
Stenson and his crew are at stations, tired and nervous. The readouts around them are all over the place. Some are red, some green, a lot of yellows, a few steady, most changing every second.
Helton: (OC, on speaker) Ready or not, here they come!
Stenson: They’re online! Hit the switch whenever you want!
One of the techs next to him closes his eyes briefly and crosses himself in silent prayer.
CUT TO
Tajemnica’s bridge
The crew nervously watch the screens showing the rapidly approaching quartet of ships in tight formation.
Helton: Spun up, get ready to kick ‘em into gear.
Cooper: I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Helton: (Nodding agreement, then looking defiantly at the oncoming formation in the main screen) So, you wanna dance? No problem. Let’s dance.
Helton nods to Cooper.
Cooper: Rumble THIS!
He hits the “Drives Online” switch, pushes up the power levers hard, twists and pushes the control yoke. At his first motion, the slight background hum of the drives abruptly changes to a wildly discordant three-tone scream as energy flows and Tajemnica digs her drive fields into the very fabric of the universe. As the volume ramps up, the tones start to converge in a powerful, pulsing, deep-throated scream.
CUT TO
Cockpit of Prince Walid’s interceptor
Walid has a wolf-like grin of contempt. Suddenly, the cabin is filled with a deep, powerful, angry, metallic voice.
Ship AI: (OC) Your friends close, your enemies closer!
He looks around wildly, trying to see who or what this represents. His grin of anticipation is gone.
CUT TO
Space, above the rapidly converging ships
The faint glow around Tajemnica disappears. The three lead interceptors have a large and bright envelope of glowing atoms around them, excited by their drives’ combined energy. Suddenly, a huge and growing blaze of angry light leaps from Tajemnica, much brighter than the squadron’s, as Tajemnica spins, rolls, and rotates sideways, presenting the largest possible target. The three ships’ course suddenly alters and they dive straight at Tajemnica rather than aim to pass close by, sucked in by its powerful drive field backed by vastly greater mass. The last ship manages to turn its nose away, but has too much velocity and falls towards the field’s grip nonetheless. The field surrounding the three lead ships intensifies, and they rush in, crashing and becoming crushed and splattered across the landing pads and lower hull of Tajemnica, one collapsing like a cartoon accordion, one shattering on an angled corner, one on an edge. As they hit, the interference patterns their drives make disappear, drives and pilots dead. The glowing field surrounding Tajemnica intensifies even more, extending like a great glowing arm, a blazing swarm of fireflies on a mission of doom, toward the last ship.
Cut to
Tajemnica’s bridge
Cooper works the controls frantically, everyone else is hangs on, and the drives are up to a beating roar. A faint undertone that nearly sounds like an old steam locomotive thundering in the distance can be heard in the thrashing the ship is inflicting on itself and the space around it.
Cut to
Engineering
Most of the readouts are way in the red, and Stenson and his crew just stand back in amazement, hanging on, wondering how much further the drives and power systems can be abused l
ike this, the screaming of strained power systems and mechanical stress making the ship sound like it is in pain.
CUT TO
Prince Walid’s cockpit
Walid’s visor is down and he looks around frantically, trying to find some way out of the trap he’s stepped in. He is being shaken violently about, not always the same way as his ship. Over the cockpit com he hears the last thing that isn’t his own terrified scream.
Ship AI: (OC, female voice, commanding, imperious) Come to me! NOW!
CUT TO
Space, outside Tajemnica and the interceptor
The great glowing arm of seriously pissed off atoms glow mostly reddish yellow, but they coruscate and shimmer with interference patterns in many colors, like an Aurora Borealis, all around the smaller ship as it shakes violently, vibrating ever faster as it’s pulled in closer and closer to Tajemnica. The light fades considerably all at once, the interference patterns disappear, and the shaking of the smaller craft stops. It is carefully pulled in close to Tajemnica’s topside, seemingly cradled in the drive field. Loose debris and the crushed and flattened hulks of the first three interceptors spin away into the void. The drive glow diffuses, extends, and reintensifies, then Tajemnica flips back onto her original course and starts to accelerate away.
CUT TO
Engineering
They all stare in amazement at the many readings back in the green, some yellow, and only a couple of red indicators. Levels are no longer fluctuating wildly; they are mostly stable. The background hum of drives and power systems is even and quiet. Stenson shakes his head in wonder. The others smile and slap one another on the back.
CUT TO
Tajemnica’s bridge
Helton: THAT was perfect! Absolutely perfect!
Cooper: Wow! That was… Not quite sure how that last bit happened though.
Lag: (Looking at displays and screens) Did I see that right? The first three wrecked, the other one shaken and grabbed, and it’s alongside?
