“Well, congratulations to you both,” Karen says as she looks back at the bar. “I wish you both the best.”
“Thanks, Karen,” I reply with a smile.
Lola only nods her head and then leans closer to kiss along my jaw.
Karen goes back to the bar to resume flirting with the young bartender, and my lovely-but-quite-annoyed wife breathes a sigh of relief.
“Damn, dude,” Keegan says quietly. “Mrs. Landry totally wants to bang you.”
Lola makes a grunt of frustration and runs her fingers through her hair.
This makes Keegan laugh really hard, not knowing the real reason Lola’s so irritated. “What? You don’t like that some hot MILF wants to fuck your husband? You got him. So who cares if some other chick wants him?”
“Exactly!” I say with a nod.
“It’s just…gross. I mean, she’s Brooke’s mother—and James fucked Brooke in middle school!”
“Yeah, that is kinda fucked up,” Keegan concedes.
Now that I really think about it, it was pretty fucked up. I probably should have rethought that whole thing, voiced some kind of objection when Karen went for me. Instead, I plowed her over and over again—on the dining room table, in the garage, in their gigantic walk-in closet up against her husband’s suits. Might not have been my best decision.
“Well,” Lola sighs, “that was perfectly horrifying.”
Keegan snickers loudly at her remark, and I can tell she wants to punch him—or maybe me, since I’m the one who actually committed the crime.
Thankfully, the food arrives, and I manage to steer things in a more pleasant direction as we eat. We find out that Keegan’s dad retired and now he’s kind of running the show at the financial consulting business. He digs it because he can slack off, but he likes being the boss, and his employees think he’s cool and chilled out. He met a really pretty Asian girl that he liked, and they’ve gone on a few dates. He’s hoping it works out. I’m happy for him, and I hope it works out too. He’s a good dude, and he deserves it.
He asks Lola about work, and she says she’s looking.
“Your husband’s got big bucks and you guys aren’t hurting for cash, so why would you even want a job?” he says.
“Because I want to contribute something to our household.”
“You mean I can’t get you barefoot and pregnant right away?” I tease.
“Definitely not!” she replies with exaggerated firmness.
“C’mon, you could be my sexy little housewife who cooks me dinner and greets me with a blowjob when I come home from work.” I might get slapped for this comment, but it’s worth it to watch that cute angry look on her face.
“I’m not even going to respond to that,” she says calmly, even though I know she wants to launch back with a series of jabs.
Keegan snickers, but he covers his mouth as she scowls first at him, then at me.
“I’m just fucking with you, cupcake,” I say with a grin before I lean in to kiss her cheek.
“That’s fine,” she replies with a sneer. “Keep it up and see what happens. See how quickly I will put all this under lockdown.” She motions to her body.
“My apologies, baby,” I say, holding my hands together like I’m pleading. “Forgive me, angel? Princess? Moon of My Life?”
The Khal Drogo nickname gets her every time, and she bats her eyes at me.
“Am I forgiven?” I ask with a grin.
“For now,” she says, smiling back.
I lean in and give her a little kiss before turning my attention back to Keegan, whose face houses a combination of amusement and surprise.
“I never thought I’d say this, since I’ve wanted Lola ever since she got boobs, but you guys are actually a pretty cute couple,” he remarks.
“How eloquent,” Lola teases.
I burst into laughter and throw my arm around her. She responds by leaning into me, and I kiss the side of her head. I’ve always been affectionate with chicks, but I had to keep a lot of my affairs on the DL, so it’s really nice to be able to go public with it. Lola digs it too, I can tell, and she’s seamlessly transitioned from friend to girlfriend to wife when it comes to showing off how much we love each other.
When dinner is over, Keegan and I argue over the bill, but he insists on paying. We all make plans to hang out again soon, and he says he’s psyched for the wedding. He gives us both big hugs when we’re in the parking lot, and then we head off to go home.
My lovely wife is kind of quiet as we drive back to Theresa’s house. I’m guessing it has something to do with Karen. She wants to say something, but she’s holding back. That’s never good. Usually she’s very open with me—in more ways than one—but she gets like this when something really bothers her. I try to keep things light and jovial, which seems to work okay.
Theresa chats with us for a little while before we all get ready for bed. Lola reiterates that her pussy is off limits for now, which kills me, but I honor her decree and refrain from trying to fuck her tonight. She still lets me shower with her, but there will be no sexy times, and I’ve come to terms with it by the time we crawl into bed.
Chapter 6
Lola
WE’VE JUST TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS, and I’m lying on my side with James spooning me as I try to fall asleep. No matter how hard I try, I can’t quite relax.
“Lo, are you still awake?” he whispers from behind me.
“Yeah.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You seem kind of, I don’t know, troubled. Wanna talk about it?” he pushes.
I sigh and try to think about what to say. “I’m just…I feel like the Mrs. Landry thing is a little unsettling.”
“It was a long time ago, though, so it shouldn’t bother you now.”
“I know. I understand that you were young, dumb, and full of come—”
He chuckles against the back of my neck.
“But it’s weird, James.” I shake my head a little bit. “It was weird then, and it’s still kind of weird now.”
“It shouldn’t be weird now,” he whispers reassuringly.
“Well, it is. You understand that it was messed up, right? You know that she was preying on you, that she saw an opportunity to indulge herself, and she did something wrong, don’t you?”
“It wasn’t really that wrong,” he says, trying to downplay the whole thing. “I mean, it wasn’t like it was all her fault. I was a pretty active participant too.”
“I know that, and it bothers me.”
“Why?”
I sigh and try to think about how to describe my feelings. “You were an easy target for her. Everyone in town knew your reputation. You never said no. A woman like that could swoop in and take advantage of you because you didn’t really realize she was taking advantage of you.”
“She wasn’t taking advantage of me. We just fucked a few times.”
“Yeah, but you were so much younger than her. You were a kid, James.”
“Come on, Lo,” he says skeptically. “At sixteen, I was hardly a kid.”
“Just because you fucked a lot of people back then doesn’t change the fact that you were still in high school, and that she was old enough to be your mother!”
“It wasn’t like she set up some pervy scheme to trap me,” he explains, his calm tone clearly an effort to mellow me out before I start revving into a rant.
“Oh, because giving a teenage boy a surprise blowjob isn’t pervy?” I roll my eyes.
He sighs with frustration. “Do you think maybe you’re making a big deal out of something that really doesn’t matter that much?”
“No!” I say, attempting to keep my voice down despite my growing emotion. “Some creepy older woman with a thing for young guys preyed on my husband when he was a teenager, and I want to slap her—not sit and make polite conversation with her while we eat fucking tapas!”
“That’s a little strong, don’t you think?” He sweet
ly rubs my back to attempt to calm me.
“Just think about if it were the other way around. Imagine a girl—hell, imagine me going over to one of my friends’ houses to have sex with her father. That would have been all kinds of statutory rape. You probably would have lost your mind and stabbed the guy if you found out about it.”
He shrugs, knowing I’m right, but brushes it off with, “It’s different with you.”
“How is it any different? It’s the exact same thing.”
“You were pure and innocent. I wasn’t,” he attempts to explain. “I would have lost my mind if you had sex with anyone who didn’t deserve you, regardless of their age.”
“So Mrs. Landry doesn’t deserve to be on To Catch a Predator, but a man would?” I roll my eyes with annoyance. “It’s such a ridiculous notion that men can be lecherous sexual predators, but women can’t. It’s the ridiculous MILF fantasy you guys have had since American Pie. Everybody acts like a teenage boy who bangs a cougar should get a high-five, but nobody stops to think about how fucked up it really is for an adult to sexually exploit someone who isn’t even old enough to vote.”
“She didn’t exploit me. We just had sex.”
“Look, usually when you had sex, you were in control. You enjoyed the chase of getting a girl to sleep with you, and you enjoyed the accomplishment from getting her off. But—and this is just my opinion—it wasn’t like that with Mrs. Landry. I don’t really think you were in control there. I think she saw that you were a naturally horny guy, and she exploited it. And it makes me really angry.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking guilty. “I don’t entirely agree with you, but I’m sorry it makes you mad.”
“I’m mad at her,” I clarify, gently putting my palm on his cheek. “I’m mad that she snatched up something special like that.”
“What do you mean?” He seems genuinely puzzled.
I pause and scoot a little closer to him, my tension softening in the warmth of his embrace. “Remember how you used to say that I shouldn’t have sex with just anybody because sex with me was a privilege?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Did it ever occur to you that sex with you is a privilege too?”
A smile spreads over his lips as he looks down into my eyes.
“I’m sure part of why Mrs. Landry makes me cringe has to do with the fact that I’ve experienced it for myself, and I know how great it is,” I continue, feeling slightly shy.
“Interesting.” His grin is playfully cocky.
“Shut up!” I blush, and he reaches down to give my butt a little squeeze.
“Please, go on. I’d like to hear more of this theory.”
I snicker, but look back up at him. “I remember you telling me not to ‘give it away’ when I was a teenager,” I begin. “I always thought that was one of those stupid, antiquated, male concepts—that a woman somehow loses something when she has sex, but a man doesn’t. When I’m with you, I feel like you give me all of yourself. Yeah, I feel like I do that too, but what really makes it special for me is that in those moments, I know you’re mine.”
He brushes my hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek as he smiles at me. “I am,” he softly replies, staring at me lovingly.
“Sex with you…it’s beautiful and special.” That earns an even wider smile. “I just can’t believe you were ‘giving that away’ for all those years without realizing it.”
He chuckles and kisses my forehead. “To be perfectly honest with you, Lo, it wasn’t really special before you,” he confesses.
I smirk, wanting to call bullshit on that.
“It was fun, sure, but I wouldn’t really describe it as special.” He pauses, his brow furrowed in thought. “I mean, I’m not really sure how to explain it, but it just never really had any meaning before—not like now.”
That gives me a little swell of pride.
“Sex was just something to do. It was fun and physical, and I didn’t have to put a lot of thought into it.” He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “I fucked a lot of girls, Lola. I fucked good girls, wild girls, older girls, younger ones—all that. There were never any consequences, and aside from you giving me shit about it, no one ever held me accountable.”
I have to agree with him there. Until the incident with his parents, I don’t think James ever faced consequences for any of his actions.
“Once I got into the industry, that only amplified it. It was work, and I could dismiss it as strictly professional. I fuckin’ ran through girls. They were my work friends, but it wasn’t like we had a romantic relationship. My life was just: hit the set, have some sex, go home, and wait for you to get off work. You were where I got all my affection. You were the one who warmed my heart and made me feel deeper emotions. You made me think, and you challenged me in a way that I never got from anyone else.”
My eyes well up as he speaks.
“There was intimacy, and then there was sex.” He draws two separate boxes in the air. “You gave me all the intimacy I needed, so I could remove all that from the equation when it came to getting laid.”
I brush my fingers down the nape of his neck in that way I know he likes. He says it’s comforting to him, and I like being able to provide that type of calm.
“I loved you, and you loved me,” he says softly. “Both of us had exactly what we needed, we just didn’t see it at the time. But it changed for me. Everything changed for me when I realized how I felt about you.”
I feel a teardrop sneak its way down my cheek and onto my pillow.
“No matter how fun some of that stuff was while I was doing it, it seemed totally empty compared to every single moment I spent with you,” he says, wiping a second tear off my cheek with his thumb. “You were—you are—everything I dream about, Lo. You’re more than I could have ever hoped or wished for. I feel so bad that my past has the ability to come between us.”
“It doesn’t.” I sniffle. “Nothing does.”
“I know the Mrs. Landry thing creeps you out, but I don’t want this shit to hurt you,” he explains.
“I know. I can deal with it. I can get past it, James,” I say reassuringly.
“I don’t want you to feel anything less than happy for the rest of your life. I want to be the guy who makes you smile, but I worry that all the stupid shit I’ve done will damage that.”
“It won’t,” I promise him. “I know how you feel, how deep it goes for you, and that’s the only thing that really matters. That’s what makes it where I can deal with the other stuff. Whatever baggage you think you have, I can handle it. I just have these moments—like at the awards, or tonight at the restaurant—where it’s thrust in my face and I have to take a second to process it.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes sincerely.
“It’s not your fault. I knew going into this that there would be challenges, you know, because of your career and everything.” I’m trying to tread lightly because I don’t want him to feel even more guilt about it. “I didn’t care about that because I’m in love with you and that’s not going to change. Sometimes I just need to figure shit out. But I’m glad you’re always there for me to talk to.”
That makes him smile, and he leans forward to tenderly kiss me. “Well, I’m not going anywhere, cupcake, so you can talk to me until you lose your voice and I’ll always listen.”
“I know,” I reply, pulling him closer and kissing him again.
“So fuck all this other shit,” he says, gently rubbing my back. “It’s you and me. United front. We’re gonna make it, Lo. Whatever bullshit we have to go through, whatever shakes things up or throws us into a tailspin, we’ll be okay. ’Cause this shit’s forever, baby.”
“Yes, it is.” I smile and curl into him, wrapping my arm around his waist.
“Now let’s get some sleep so we can conquer the world tomorrow,” he teases, reaching back to palm my butt.
“Okay,” I sigh. “Good night, James.”
“Good night, gorgeou
s.”
I feel much more relaxed now. I voiced my concerns, and he basically took the opportunity to profess his undying love for me, which would make anybody feel pretty great. Things are going to be all right, regardless of his history.
I close my eyes and enjoy his warmth around me as I drift off to sleep.
Chapter 7
James
IT’S STILL KIND OF EARLY, but my parents are early risers, and my mom insisted that we all get breakfast this morning. Theresa’s at work, so I don’t have that buffer, but I keep holding Lola’s hand and telling myself that it’s all good as we walk across the lawn to my parents’ house.
Mom greets us both very warmly, and I smile at her sunny demeanor. The look she gives me is the same one I remember seeing a lot when me and Lola were teenagers. It’s that I’m-imagining-the-beautiful-grandchildren-I-will-have-when-you-two-start-a-family kind of glance that always made me feel a little bashful. Now it’s a little different because that dream is totally within reach. In fact, since I’ve been home, I’ve probably thought about having kids more than I ever did in my entire life.
I’m holding Lola’s hand as we walk through the kitchen and take a seat next to each other at the table. Dad’s in there reading the newspaper, and he gives me a chilly smile, but flashes a bright one at Lola. That’s fine with me. She deserves to be treated like a fuckin’ princess. So as long as he’s nice to her, I don’t really care how he treats me.
Mom goes to join us, but then she snaps her fingers like she just remembered something. All our heads turn as she darts off to the front room and then comes back with a big box that appears to be kind of heavy. I jump up to carry it for her, and I put it on the table.
“This came for you today,” she explains. “Somebody must have dropped it off because there isn’t any postage, but I didn’t want to open it because it’s made out to you.”
“Thanks,” I reply, taking a glance down at it.
Vice, Virtue & Video: Devoted Page 7
