“Gil.”
“Do you know a gangster? ‘Cause I know a lot of banks.”
“Ok, I’ve got it. I’ll decide what we’re doing,” he is resolute.
“What?” I smile mischievously.
“You’ll soon find out,” he returns the smile.
“But I have to go home before I go any other place. I need to change,” I point out looking down at my work overalls – not exactly haute couture. He looks me up and down, then sighs, defeated.
“Ok, let’s go meet your grandmother,” he gives in, weaving his fingers into mine.
We drive to Grandma Natalie’s house in Jared’s white Toyota Corolla. His car has much more personality than his apartment – there’s even a surf board shaped pendant hanging from the rear view mirror. The only thing that doesn’t represent him is the color. I would have expected a monotonous black, and here is its amiable opposite, a white so white it’s nearly blinding in sunlight.
When we get to the door, I see him stiffen, and this makes me smile.
“Don’t worry, she’s not as nasty as she makes out.”
“You would say the same of the Hulk, so I don’t find you very reassuring.” I decide it’s best to gloss over it for now, so I take the keys from my pocket and open the door.
“Grandma, I’m home!” I announce from the entrance. “Jared’s with me.”
Grandma Natalie’s serene face appears around the kitchen door at the end of the hall.
“Come on in, kids,” she invites us, then disappears again.
“See? She’s perfectly calm,” I insist in a whisper.
“Yeah, right! It’s just the calm before the storm.” I ignore his observation and take him by the hand, heading for the kitchen. I’m determined to prove him wrong.
“Grandma, I’m sorry about yesterday,” I greet her, going over to the table where she is sitting reading the newspaper and giving her a kiss. “I was so tired that I fell asleep without noticing.”
She smiles, pinching my cheek like she did when I was little. “How many times have I told you the pace you’ve set yourself isn’t normal, honey?” she good naturedly scolds me.
“I know, you’re right. Forgive me, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“Oh, it’s all in the past, Gil. You promise me you’ll never tire yourself out so much anymore, and I’ll forget this unpleasant episode,” she happily suggests.
“It’s a deal!” I exclaim, embracing her. “Grandma, this is Jared,” I introduce my companion, who is waiting silently on the threshold. Grandma Natalie looks up and studies him with a severe analytical gaze. Ok, maybe Jared isn’t completely wrong.
“Jared, this is my grandmother, Natalie.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ma’am,” he takes a step forward holding out his hand. Grandma Natalie doesn’t take her eyes off him nor does she shake his hand.
“Sit down, son. You and I are going to have a chat,” she announces seriously.
“Actually, Grandma, we were going out. I just came by for a quick shower and to get changed.” I do have to try and save him, don’t I?
“It won’t take long,” she calmly replies. “You go and get ready.” I give up.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” I whisper in her ear, while Jared sits down in front of her. “He’s convinced you hate him.”
“We’ll see.”
I glance at Jared, who seems to be begging me not to leave him, but he doesn’t say a word. “I’ll be back in a flash,” I assure him with a smile.
“Not fast enough,” he lets slip, earning himself a dirty look from Grandma Natalie. I try to stifle a laugh and rush up the stairs. I need to be really fast if I don’t want Grandma to make him run away as fast as he can.
After the fastest shower of my life, I throw on a pair of stretch jeans and a yellow long sleeved t-shirt, a pair of sneakers and a clip to fasten my damp dark hair before it gets too unruly. Ten minutes and I’m back in the kitchen, ready for all kinds of apocalyptic scenarios, but not for the spectacle that appears before my eyes. Grandma Natalie has made tea, and she and Jared are sipping it together while they share the newspaper: Grandma the news section and Jared the business pages.
“I’m ready,” I announce in a low voice, fearing I’ll break the spell.
“Oh,” Grandma observes, before she delves back into her reading. “Have a cup of tea before you go, dear.”
I cautiously move over to Jared and sit down next to him. “Is everything ok?” I ask in a whisper.
“Sure, I’ll finish reading this article and then we can go,” he replies, setting the empty cup on the table.
Nope, I really wasn’t expecting this, it looks like they’ve known each other all their lives. I pour myself some tea and drink it as I shift my gaze from him to her and back. They have almost the same expression on their faces while they read, the same furrow of concentration on their foreheads, the same experienced grip on the pages, which I personally have always found to be too big to handle. They also both finish at the same time. Grandma Natalie opens her half and hands it to Jared who slips his inside, then folds it up and sets it on the table.
“Thank you for having me, Natalie.”
“Don’t mention it, son. I hope to see you soon,” Grandma Natalie gets up and joins us on the other side of the table. Jared stands too and they shake hands. They look relaxed. I wonder what they talked about.
“Gil, are you ready?” Jared catches my attention. What? Oh, right, we were going out. I set down my cup and hurry to join him at the kitchen door.
“Here I am.”
“Please don’t be late this time, dear. Tomorrow you have to get up early and if I see you’re too tired to work, I’ll lock you in your room and throw away the key,” she warns me with her habitual scowl.
“Don’t worry, Ma’am, I’ll bring her home early,” Jared replies for me. They’re definitely getting along. I’m amazed. I give Grandma Natalie a quick kiss and I leave the house with Jared.
“Well?” I ask, amused.
“Well what?”
“Your encounter with the beast was disappointing: you got out of it without even a scratch,” I tease him, slipping my arm under his.
“Ok, you were right, she isn’t as terrible as I thought after all.” I laugh at this statement, while he kisses me on my temple and puts his arm around my shoulders.
“And now? Where are we going?”
“You just wait and see.”
12
The scent of the sea is so intense it instantly makes me happy. The beach is deserted, except for a few solitary runners and a couple of men fastening an intricate harness on a third. The temperature is so pleasant I feel like laying down and basking in the sun for a while.
“If you had told me we were coming to the beach, I would have brought a towel,” I say with a smile I really can’t suppress.
“If you had brought a towel, you would have had a useless burden to tend to,” he replies, amused, as he takes my hand and sets off at a leisurely pace. I have to admit it still feels odd, and very, very pleasant, this manner he has. Our interwoven hands seem so perfect together that I wonder how I managed without them up until now.
“Wanna’ tell me what we’re doing here?” Jared’s smile broadens, but he doesn’t reply and just continues to walk. I follow him until I realize he’s not just taking a stroll but is heading purposefully towards the three men I had noticed before. As we near them, I realize the intricate harness is not a plain harness but has some kind of parachute attached.
“Jared,” I call out to him, slightly alarmed. He grips my hand in his and joins the men, whose smiles seem a little unsettling to me now.
“Good morning,” he greets them as if he knew them.
“Good morning,” replies one of them, the one who has just finished unbuckling the harness of the unlucky man standing before us.
“We’re the eleven thirty reservation,” says Jared. Reservation? Eleven thirty? Oh, good grief!
&nb
sp; “No, no, we’re not a reservation,” I protest. The three men, among whom there is also the one I guess is the eleven o’clock reservation, stare at me with an amused expression. I wonder what’s so funny…
“Jared and Gillian, right?” the first guy asks for confirmation.
“Right.” No way, my name hasn’t been Gillian for a second and a half now. It’s not me. I find Jared’s gaze hoping that he’ll soon yell, ‘Gotcha!’ but he makes no move to turn back.
“Jared, what are we doing here?”
“I told you: we’re granting one of your wishes,” he replies, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“What wish?” the question comes out like a death rattle, while the second guy takes the harness off the one of whom I am vaguely envious and comes over to me. What is he doing? Let this be very clear: I am definitely not putting that thing on!
“To fly.”
How did this happen? What am I doing here, with this tarp-like thing trailing behind me, squeezed into more straps than I can count, listening to the recommendations of a guy who’s trying to make this look like a totally safe and ordinary affair. If it were, he wouldn’t be repeating over and over instructions such as: ‘If you fall in the water, don’t worry, just remember to unfasten the parachute because it could pull you down if it gets wet.’ Jared is holstered up like me, to the same parachute to boot, and if this is reassuring on the one hand – I won’t be plunging into this madness alone – on the other hand it terrifies me – can one of these things bear the weight of both of us?
The second instructor disappeared some minutes ago, leaving the first to explain this bizarre discipline of which the three of them must be the sole enthusiasts in the world – parasailing. Jared continues to smile in amusement; he seems fairly comfortable with this kind of madness, and the fact that he is still alive should set my mind at ease… so why doesn’t it?
“It’s totally safe,” he whispers as soon as instructor number one steps away for a moment.
“I don’t trust these contraptions.”
“But you trust me?” he insists, not at all disheartened by my lack of confidence.
“Maybe ten minutes ago I did, but now I’m not so sure.” A warm, natural laugh is his only response. I’d say there’s no discouraging him today. Over a very short time, he’s taken giant leaps from the sullen young man he used to be. All thanks to his mentor, mind you.
“The boat is coming, ready to get on?”
“Boat? There’s a boat involved in this madness too?”
“Didn’t you listen to what Tom said?”
“I stopped listening at the word ‘fall’,” I confess, ill at ease.
“Then you missed the part about the boat,” he laughs. “Nothing serious. We just have to get on board, the parasail will do the rest,” he explains, taking my hand and joining the first instructor, Tom.
“Well guys, are you ready for the most exciting experience of your life?” he asks when we reach the edge of the jetty where the speedboat driven by instructor number two is idling.
“You mean the last experience of our lives,” I correct him as Jared pushes me on board and sits down next to me.
“She’s a tough one, your girlfriend,” Tom comments as he climbs in after us. Jared does not reply; he just smiles, squeezing my hand again and casting an adoring gaze at me. For a moment I forget I’m on a boat going full speed towards the open sea, on the point of using a terrifying parasail to achieve the stupid dream of flying.
When the time comes, I am such a bundle of nerves I can’t understand a word Tom is saying. The wind is roaring in my ears and all I can do is turn my head left and right, hanging on to Jared’s arm, searching for a way out. Even being swallowed alive by a shark seems better than this madness. I keep repeating over and over again in my head: “It can’t be real, it can’t be real. I’m not seriously doing this!”, but when Jared pulls a lever and we are suddenly born upwards, my mantra goes to hell and I begin to scream. I close my eyes, I can’t look, and I try to concentrate on Jared’s hand holding mine while not thinking about the fact that there’s nothing beneath us.
“Gil,” I hear him call from a few inches away. “Don’t look down, look at me.”
Without thinking, I do as he asks and look up at him. He has an amused expression and a breathtaking smile. The wind musses his hair and makes his clothes flap, making him look so… free. Suddenly I am infected by his spirit. Without actually thinking, I squeeze his hand and enjoy the wind in my face. I don’t look down, I’m afraid I’ll realize how many feet we are above the water, but I fix my eyes on him and the liquid horizon behind him, and in an instant, a single magical instant, I realize I am flying.
“Well? Was it that terrible?”
“Terribly breathtaking,” replies the adrenaline flowing through my veins. I haven’t been able to sit still since we set foot back on the boat. I feel alive, full of energy, and happy as never before. I wish this day would never end.
“Perfect. Any other wishes, aside from robbing a bank?”
“It wasn’t that bad an idea,” I happily protest.
“Not if you have time to waste in prison.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’d be caught?” this is more of an amused observation than a question and he knows that.
“As far as I know, neither of us has acquired much experience in the field, so it seems reasonable to seriously consider this outcome, don’t you think?”
“You sound like an expert risk analyst sometimes.”
“And you always look like you have your head in the clouds.”
“You can say that again,” I agree, jumping up and down. It’s the first time I can say I have actually had my head in the clouds and I love it.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminds me, grabbing my arm and pulling me close. I let him drag me into his embrace, inebriated by his scent.
“I don’t think I can ask anything more of this perfect day,” I whisper, gazing up at him. “Thank you.”
Jared smiles and I find that every time he does so, my heart warms a bit.
“Don’t mention it,” he replies happily. “I had better take you home then. I promised your grandmother we wouldn’t be late.” Ah, promises to Grandma Natalie. I suspect they will be the end of me.
“But it’s still early,” I object. I’m not ready to part from him yet.
“She wouldn’t agree.”
“We could stop by your place first,” I suggest hopefully. His expression changes. In a moment his gaze becomes more intense and his expression more serious. Too late I realize the innuendo concealed in such a suggestion and I blush, too embarrassed to think of a way out.
“You should be more careful what you ask for,” he warns me without taking his emerald eyes off mine.
“Sorry,” is all I can say. It’s hard keeping my tongue at bay, and I’m not used to these situations. The more spend I time with Jared, the more I realize I have never felt what I feel for him for anyone. I am unprepared, confused.
“Come, I’ll take you home,” he simply says, weaving his fingers through mine again and leading me towards his car.
Once home, I wait ‘till Jared’s Toyota disappears around the bend before I go in. Grandma Natalie is at the stove, and the scent of vegetables wafts into the entrance. I join her and she greets me with a smile.
“This Jared is a man of his word,” she gloats, while I sit at the kitchen table.
“He is,” I sigh.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Grandma Natalie puts a lid on the pan bubbling on the stove, lowers the flame and sits down in front of me.
“Nothing,” I reply dejectedly.
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“I don’t know, Grandma… I’m not used to this kind of thing, I’ve never… well, I’ve never been good at relationships,” I confess.
“And who is?”
“Lillian.” Obvious answer and the first that came to mind.
“If your sister was as good as you say she is, she wouldn’t be playing hide and seek with her employer now,” Grandma Natalie comments.
“Well, she certainly has more experience than I do.”
“Oh, Gil, you don’t need experience in love. It’s not survival training. What matters is what you feel, along with the only thing that can make a relationship stable: trust. If you’re in love and you trust him, nothing else matters.”
“And if I were in love and didn’t know the first thing about him?” How can you trust a person about whom you know so little?
“What is it you don’t know?”
“I don’t know what his job is, I don’t know his family, I don’t know why he lives so far away from the ones he loves or what happened to make him so disenchanted with other people… I don’t know a lot of stuff, Grandma.”
“Well, in that case, why don’t you ask him? I’m sure he won’t deny you an answer,” she suggests optimistically.
“You think so?” Why am I not convinced it’s so easy? Every time I try to understand more about him, he hides behind the stupid conviction that it’s all too complicated for me.
“I’m sure this story will have a happy ending, my love, but you have to give it your all for it to be so. Don’t think it’s easy to love someone – it’s the most difficult thing in the world: it requires devotion, dedication, understanding, and sometimes all we get in return is disappointment and pain, but those who have truly loved know it was worth it. What do you think? Do you think it’s worth it?” I am silent for a moment, staring at Grandma Natalie. I’ve never asked myself, I’ve never really thought about it.
“Yes, I think it is,” I finally reply. Grandma Natalie’s face lights up and she nods as she gives my hand a squeeze.
“Good. Now go and get changed, dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
After dinner I linger in the living room for a while. Grandma Natalie is one of those people who goes to bed early and wakes up equally early, so I use the opportunity to do some internet searches. I google Jared Dalloway and scroll down the results, hoping to find out if he has ever been in a surfing competition or organized an exhibition of his beautiful sketches. I reach the fifty-second page without finding a single mention of him. There are lots of Dalloways, but no-one called Jared; and complicating it all there’s the fact that most of the results are about Virginia Woolf. It is obvious that Jared has never loved the limelight, and if on the one hand I’m happy about it, on the other I find his secrecy a bit annoying. It is evident that magical Google will not be of much help. I’ll have to give in and ask him, and hope that he’ll answer.
What a Girl Wants Page 16
