“She’s barely spoken since Friday, Mols.” He dipped a fry in his ketchup, trying not to give away how painful it’d been to not talk to the woman he’d once envisioned his entire future around. “It’s in the past. Talking about it now won’t change what happened. There’s no point.”
Right. Maybe if he said it enough times he could force himself to believe he meant it.
She shook her head. “I still don’t buy it. It never made sense. One day things were all roses and sunshine, and then Avery, and then boom! Gone.”
“We both know her life was hardly roses and sunshine. She had a lot to handle that summer. Maybe she finally just broke.”
“Well, you handled it.”
“I wasn’t dealing with the kind of stuff she was dealing with.”
“No.” Molly’s jaw went tight. “You were just dealing with an injury that changed your entire life plan. And then Avery.”
“You know that doesn’t begin to compare. But talking about it isn’t going to change what happened. It’ll just bring up a lot of—stuff that neither of us wants to relive. There’s no point.”
Molly sighed, shaking her head. “I have been training you for years, and still you are nothing but a hopeless man. Sure you don’t want to marry me and show her you haven’t been waiting around for her to return?”
“Sorry. I’ve heard you’re off the market. Newest wonder on Italian match dot—ow!” Ethan ducked as Molly whacked his head with her order pad.
She slid out of the booth, stealing one last fry as she did so. “That’s it. I’m putting your singles profile live as soon as I get out of here tonight.”
As she flounced back to the kitchen, Ethan turned back to his dad, who was shoveling the last of his lasagna into his mouth. Of course he wanted to sit Josie down and see if he could finally understand what had sent her flying off in the middle of the night. Of course he thought he deserved an explanation after all this time.
But even though it’d been ten years, he knew that no one besides Josie made Josie talk. There was no way he was going to force the issue, no matter how hard he tried. If he tried to push, the only thing he’d accomplish would be to scare her back away.
Not that that would be a bad thing, necessarily.
Pops was sopping the last of his tomato sauce up with a roll, and Ethan enjoyed the mundane ordinariness of the action for a moment before he spoke. “So Pops, what should we do tonight?”
“I don’t know. So many choices. Maybe watch TV? Or, hell, we could watch TV. Or wait. I know. How about some TV?”
Ethan looked at his watch, cringing internally as he pictured the work still waiting on his desk at the park. But it was Sunday night, Pops had spent the weekend with only his television for company, and Ethan couldn’t stand the thought of bringing him back home for more of the same.
“Want to go night-fishing?”
Pops looked up, eyes brightening. “How about the chimney hole? Wanna head out to Twilight Cove and try our luck?”
“Perfect.” Ethan speared his pickle, smiling at Pops. If you didn’t know about his illness, it was one of those rare nights that you could barely even tell he was losing his mind, one painful day at a time.
“Better not tell your mother, though. You know how she hates it when we fish at night. Tell her we’re gonna go have a beer at Bellinis, got it?”
Ethan pressed his lips together to silence his sigh. Mom had lost her battle with ovarian cancer twenty years ago. “Okay, Pops. We’ll tell her we’re heading to Bellinis.”
An hour later, Ethan baited his hook and arced the line over his head and out into the glistening water, where it plopped a few yards shy of the line Pops had just cast. The sun was setting, giving a firelight glow to the still lake. Gulls were circling a school of fish about half a mile out, but on the rocky shore it was quiet. As he felt a quick tug on his line, he remembered another night, another fishing trip, another world.
* * *
“Omigod, Ethan! I got a bite!” Josie’s eyes widened as she peered over the canoe’s edge. At sixteen, she was all lush curves and peek-a-boo tan lines in her bikini. Ethan had been having trouble keeping his eyes on his fishing line since they’d paddled out into Twilight Cove at dusk.
“Give it a little bounce. Set the hook.”
“Set the hook?” She shook her head, looking mortified that she’d single-handedly stabbed a little fish in the jaw. “No! Get it off!” She stood up in the canoe, rocking it dangerously.
“Reel it in.” He set down his own rod and moved slowly toward her. “Reel it in slowly and we’ll let it go.”
She reeled furiously. “You said we’d never catch anything.”
“Well, in my defense, I usually don’t!”
“I can’t believe I just caught an innocent little fish.” She frowned at the water, still reeling.
“Um, weren’t you the one who wanted to go out fishing at sunset?”
She stopped reeling and looked at him like he was an idiot … which he was, being both sixteen and a male, but still. He grabbed her line as the fish surfaced and quickly disengaged the hook, tossing the tiny sunfish back into the lake.
Josie stared at the water. “I didn’t really want to go fishing.”
“Then why did you ask me to take you out here—fishing?”
“I just wanted to be alone with you, moron. Without Molly, without Ole Ben, without everyone else around.”
“Oh.” He sat down on the wooden seat. “Well, you could have just told me that instead.”
She shook her head, smiling. “I thought maybe you could figure it out.” She pointed at her chest. “I even wore your favorite bikini.”
“It’s not all that suitable for fishing, now that you mention it.” His eyes drank in her gorgeous body. “Come here.”
He reached out his arms, and she paused, then moved carefully toward his embrace, wobbling the canoe dangerously. He gathered her into a bear hug, then purposely rocked the canoe just enough to topple them both into the lake.
Josie sputtered as she emerged, splashing him soundly. “Ethan Thomas Miller, I hate you!”
“I know you do, sweetheart.” He dodged her, then swam around behind her and pulled her close. “But it’s impossible to kiss in a canoe.” He stood on the sandy bottom and turned her to face him. She flailed, unable to reach bottom, but finally melted against his bare chest. “You do want to kiss me, right?”
“Yes, Ethan. I do.” Her hands clasped his shoulders as his tongue found hers, and he lifted her so her legs wrapped around his waist. In the fading sunlight he undid the thin strings of her bikini top, and then the bottom, and it was well dark before they recaptured the boat and dragged it back onshore.
When his truck rolled up her driveway a little while later, he felt Josie’s hand tense inside his own as her mother’s voice sailed through the open windows. Mariah Carey tonight, and good God, Diana was no Mariah.
Josie jumped out of the truck before he’d even stopped, waving as she jogged to the porch. The crash of a bottle from inside the house had him reaching for the door handle, but Josie called out, “It’s fine! Good night!” and had the front door of the house closed before he could figure out whether he should try to go inside with her.
But that was stupid. He already knew the answer. He’d been dating her for almost a year, and he’d never ever been invited further than the driveway. “The house is messy,” she’d say. Or, “My parents don’t let me have people over when they’re not here.”
But Diana was always there. Half the time she was looking out a window as Josie claimed she wasn’t home, but Ethan never let on that he saw her. He knew there must be a damn good reason Josie didn’t want him in that house, but he still hated the powerlessness he felt every time he dropped her off.
He’d heard the rumors, of course. Who hadn’t? Even Pops had had a few things to say about Diana, and Pops wasn’t the type to entertain the rumor mill. But it was a small town, and there was only one grocery store, and Mr
s. Triggs at the front register was only too happy to raise one judgmental eyebrow as Diana trundled her groceries to the car, then turned to ring up Pops and Ethan one evening.
“Four twelve-packs and an apple this time,” she’d said.
“Not our business,” Pops had answered.
“Still. That poor child.” Mrs. Triggs had clucked while Pops bagged, and back in the truck, Pops had turned to Ethan.
“I’m not judging, and I’m not telling you who to hang out with and who not to, but you watch yourself, son. You watch yourself good.”
Chapter 9
“Anybody in here who needs some sherbet?” Ethan poked his head around the half-open doorway to Emmy’s favorite room on Monday afternoon. Yes, he should be at Snowflake Village, not here at Avery’s House, but he hadn’t been able to wait to see Emmy. It had nothing to do with avoiding Josie, who was once again at the park.
Nothing.
Emmy had taken off her wig, and in the rocking chair by the window, she looked tinier than her eight years would suggest. There was nothing tiny about her smile, though, as she saw Ethan come through the doorway.
“Uh-oh. Better hurry before Mommy gets back. She says I’m already getting spoiled here.”
“That’s our job at Avery’s House—to spoil you absolutely, positively rotten.” He tweaked her nose. “And as one of our five-star guests, you get first dibs on the sherbet cooler this afternoon.”
“All of us are your five-star guests, Ethan.”
He pretended to be thoughtful. “That’s true. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. We only let the nicest kids stay here.”
“What do you do with the rest?” She giggled, already knowing the answer.
“String them up by their toes in the tower, of course. So I guess you’d better keep behaving, young lady.”
“Yes, sir.”
He kissed the top of her tiny, bald head. “So about that sherbet. Can I spoil you now?”
“What flavors do you have?” A half-smile cracked the pale veneer of her face.
“Well, let me see. Today I have a fabulous array of choices for discriminating young ladies.” Ethan set down the cooler and lifted the top. “Our most popular item this week seems to be the pepperoni and mushroom with white chocolate chips. How about that?”
Emmy grimaced and giggled. “What else do you have?”
“Hmm. I have a new flavor just in. Seaweed and squash special?”
“Yuck. No, thank you. What else?”
“I have a fantastic chili pepper, chimichanga, and cheese combo. But you’ll have to move fast. Only one left.”
Emmy giggled again. “Save that one for Danny.”
Ethan pretended to set one aside. “Pickles and peanut butter? Croutons and cabbage? Mango and mudpie?”
Emmy shook her head to each choice, her grin growing bigger. “Do you have butterscotch and beans?”
“The lady wants butterscotch and beans today.” Ethan fished through the cooler, making ample noise with the ice cubes as he did. Finding the mild lemony sherbet that was the only flavor Emmy’s stomach could handle, he raised it over his head with a flourish. “Aha! I have it! Still can’t stump me! You’ll have to do better tomorrow.”
“I already have a plan.” Emmy reached out for the sherbet cup and plastic spoon, then tucked her legs under her as she pulled off the cap and licked it. “Thank you.”
Ethan sat down in the other chair at the window. “You keeping an eye on things for me today?”
“Looks like the Twinkle Fairy’s tired.” She pointed down the hill toward Snowflake Village. “But the Ferris wheel is very busy.”
“How many rides today?”
“Thirty-six so far. I think.”
“Wowza! How about the roller coaster?”
“Too busy. I lost count of that one.”
Ethan watched her as she spooned the sherbet to her lips, savoring each drop. Her tiny little scalp caught the afternoon sunlight coming through the windows, and through her nearly translucent skin he could see the blue veins carrying around the poisonous drugs that were waging a desperate war with her cancer.
Winning the war, he prayed. Though Avery’s House, the huge old B and B he’d converted to a care facility for kids facing life-threatening illnesses, was a great place to visit, it certainly wasn’t a cure for cancer. The building was situated adjacent to Snowflake Village, and all of the kids’ rooms looked downhill toward the park, so on days like today when it was too hot for most of them to handle the heat outside, they at least had a fun view. And at ten, the child life specialist would be here to do some indoor activities.
“Is it hot out there, Ethan? Looks hot.”
“Very. You’re lucky to be in here.”
“That’s what Mommy said.”
“What did Mommy say?” A female voice sounded from behind him.
Ethan looked around to see Emmy’s mom coming through the doorway with two green Popsicles. “Hey, Steph.”
“Hey, there. You escaped the park?” Stephanie Stevens was probably ten years younger than the worry lines etched into her face would have anyone believe, but she had the same bright smile he conjured from Emmy at every possible opportunity.
“Couldn’t resist coming to visit my favorite friend.” He winked at Emmy, who rolled her eyes.
“You say that to all the girls.”
“Only the specialest ones.”
“That’s not a word, silly.”
Steph leaned down to stick the Popsicles in the tiny fridge by the bathroom, then motioned Ethan out to the hallway.
Ethan got up, lifting the cooler. “Enjoy the butterscotch and beans. That is a terrible combination.”
“Mmm. Don’t tell Ben and Jerry’s. This one’s my invention.” She made a show of licking her spoon clean.
He leaned down to kiss her head. “Got it. See you tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be cooler. Save me a ride on the Ferris wheel?”
Emmy gave a weak thumbs-up as her head lolled back toward the pillowed back of the chair. Ethan sighed quietly as he watched her for a long moment, then turned toward the hallway, pulling the door almost closed behind him.
Steph waited, smile now gone. “Thanks for the sherbet.”
“Welcome. How’s she doing?”
“She’s spent, but her numbers are looking better.”
“Excellent.” He looked at Steph’s eyes, which were hopeful for the first time in a year. “That is just excellent. We’ll get there, right?”
Steph nodded carefully. “We will. But wow, what a trip. I don’t know how you do this all the time with these kids.”
Ethan shrugged slowly. “I don’t know. I really don’t. I think my only saving grace is that they’re not my own. I don’t know how you do it.”
“One day at a time, that’s how.” Steph peeked back in at Emmy, watching her for a second as she rocked slowly at the window. “Emmy was asking me this morning who Avery is. I wasn’t sure what to tell her.”
She searched his eyes. “I know how places like this usually get named.”
He sighed as he leaned back against the wall. “Avery was a little girl I knew a long, long time ago.” He cleared his throat. “A—uh—friend of mine got involved with one of those Big Sis/Little Sis programs, and Avery was her little sis. She loved the park. Came here every time she could, knew every employee by name, could tell when the snack cottage had put three squirts in her Slush-Bomb instead of four. If we hadn’t pulled her off the Ferris wheel at four o’clock each day, she’d have slept there.”
As he talked about her, Ethan could see Avery’s brown hair and tiny freckles as if she’d hopped up on his shoulders just yesterday. His chest ached as he pictured her skipping along the pathways and grinning in that impish way that had felled every adult in sight.
Though the Ferris wheel had always been her favorite Snowflake Village ride, she’d also loved the little wishing well that used to sit next to the Polar Penguins ride. He’d never forget the first time he’d
found her there with a tiny handful of pennies.
* * *
“Whatcha doing, munchkin?”
Avery looked up, long brown ponytail looped through the back of her Red Sox hat. “Making wishes.” She closed her eyes and flicked a penny into the water, her concentration making her look somehow older than her nine years.
“What are you wishing for?”
“Can’t tell or it won’t come true.” Plonk.
“Even me?”
“Even you, Ethan. You’re special, but not that special.”
He put his fist to his chest. “I’m hurt.”
Avery giggled. “No you’re not.” She scrunched her eyes and tossed another penny in.
“That looked like an important wish.”
“Yup.”
“Sure you don’t want to tell me any?”
“Nope. You’ll just tell Josie.”
“Will not.”
“Will, too. You’re in l-o-v-e love.” She sang the last word, then ducked as he pretended to swat her. Avery looked pensive, then plonked another penny into the well. “It’s a wish for Josie.”
“Are you … wishing for a car for her so she can drive us to the ocean?”
Avery smiled. “No. That’d be a waste of a wish.”
“A trip to Hawaii?”
“Nope.”
“A pet giraffe?”
“Ethan.”
“What? She loves giraffes!”
“Have you ever smelled a giraffe? They’re stinky! And where would she keep it?”
“Good point. So what are you wishing for?”
Avery was quiet for a moment, her eyes years wiser than they should have been at her age. She plonked in another penny. “Can’t tell you. You’re not supposed to know.”
* * *
Late Tuesday morning, Josie found an unoccupied bench outside the Slurpy Seal and sat down gratefully. When she’d arrived at the office at eight o’clock this morning, she’d scooped the Santa suit off the closet door while Ethan was elsewhere. It was day five back in Echo Lake, and she didn’t need more than a passing glance at the employee schedule to know he’d put her on costume duty again.
Fine. She wasn’t ready to deal with him, either.
Some counselor she was. She spent her days helping people learn how to better communicate—with their spouses, with their children … with themselves—but when it came to her own situation, she had no idea what to say to this man she’d once planned to marry.
Forever This Time Page 6
