Sarah and her brother Max left Charlotte and lived in a rural town in Kentucky for the next five years under Federal protection.
I read the next part three times before fully processing what it said. When Sarah was seventeen, two known associates of the men who killed her father were overheard discussing the knowledge of her whereabouts on a wiretap. Less than a week later, she was sent to Scotland.
Fuck! They almost got to her. The thought of what may have happened if the men found her…I pushed back from my desk and began pacing. If they knew where Sarah was, they knew where Max was, so why didn’t they go after Max? It would seem the logical thing to do.
I stopped pacing long enough to read the rest of the report. All it said was the threat had been diffused. What the fuck does that mean? Raking my fingers through my hair, I thought back to my time with Sarah. Beautiful did not begin to do her justice, but she was so much more than her looks. She was outgoing and funny as hell. I would have never pegged Sarah as a victim in a million years. Still, the few times she let down her guard and let me in, I sensed a sadness in her that called to me. I’m missing something. I can’t ask because I’m not supposed to know. I shouldn’t care. I should let this go. I slammed my hands on my desk. Why can’t I let this go?
My mind wandered to the last night we were together. I was in the kitchen grabbing a glass of water and spotted Sarah’s purse on the chair by the front door. Curiosity getting the best of me, I slid open her wallet and fished out her ID.
Sarah L. Pember, twenty-two years of age.
After she returned to Scotland, I thought about looking her up, but something always stopped me. Now, I wished I had. Once again, I was letting a woman mess with my head. Would I never learn?
I opened the file back up and stared down at her name. Sarah A. McLellan. Twenty years of age. According to this file, she would be turning twenty-one on September seventeenth.
“So young,” I whispered. Too bad my body refused to get on board with my brain. I could hear my sister right now, “It’s okay Cazzy, guys have been led around by their dicks since the stone ages.” It looks like I was no different than all the rest because little Sarah McLellan had me tied in all kinds of knots. All I had thought about for months was how good we were together.
I hit rock bottom after missing Sarah the night I checked Alexandria into rehab. When I finally pulled myself together, I decided to wait until after the divorce was finalized before pursuing any type of relationship. I didn’t want to think about explaining my wife to the woman I was seeing, especially if that woman was Sarah. Thankfully, that was right when we were hired by Max to watch Piper. That was more than enough to keep me fully occupied. The thought of Piper made me smile. Poor Gage has his hands full with that one.
My mind wandered to Dooley Shane. Even six feet under, the douche was still causing trouble. It turns out he had a longer reach than we’d realized. Garrett had given me and Bob the responsibility of tracking Dooley’s finances and it was proving to be a giant pain in the ass. What happened to those girls that day weighed heavily on all of us and the fact that Dooley got the drop on us did not sit well.
The sound of my phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I checked to make sure it wasn’t Alexandria before answering. Somehow, it always circled back to Xandria. In four months I will finally be rid of her. The phone said, Unknown Caller, so I sent it to voicemail, let out a big yawn and rested my head on my desk. Four more months and I will be free.
Three months to the week after my first night with Alexandria Gibson, she showed up at my office to tell me she was pregnant and I was the father. Of course, I called bullshit on that. Clearly, the woman had no idea what I did for a living because she was shocked by my skepticism.
“What do you mean bullshit? Here is the positive pregnancy test.” She slapped the stick on my desk. Not able to help myself, I glanced down and, sure enough, it was positive. “See, it’s positive.” The smirk on her face pissed me off. Standing in front of me was a desperate, spoiled woman who I wanted nothing to do with.
“I see it. What I don’t see, is my name on it. Do you?” I calmly asked. There was no way I was the father of this woman’s child. I used a condom all three times I nailed her.
“Well, no, b-b-but you are,” she stuttered. She was clearly having trouble processing my less than enthusiastic response.
“And you know this how exactly?”
“I’m not a whore!” she defensively shouted. Her reaction told me otherwise.
“You cannot expect me just to accept this without proof, Alexandria.”
“What are you talking about? Here’s the proof!” She picked up the stick and waved it in my face. Enough was enough.
“Darlin, that’s a pregnancy test. As far as I know, you could have shown your bare snatch to five other men that night and screwed them all. If you want me to step up, you’re going to have to show proof of paternity. Until then, we have nothing to talk about.”
“You have got to be kidding!” she hissed.
“I have never been more serious,” I informed her.
With a melodramatic huff, she grabbed the pregnancy test and stormed out the door.
Good riddance.
That night I received a visit from her father. He was all up in arms about my earlier meeting with his daughter.
“She says you are the father, Cas.”
“She does,” I agreed. “It doesn’t make it true.”
“So you are saying you didn’t sleep with her?” His arched brow and I-dare-you-to-deny-it look on his face made me pause.
“I didn’t say that. C’mon, Sterling, you’re telling me that if one of the women you slept with came to you with a positive pregnancy test and claimed you were the father, you would just accept her word for it without demanding proof of paternity?” His silence told me all I needed to know. “I know she’s your daughter and you want to protect her, but I don’t have sex without using protection…ever. There is no way that child is mine.” I felt bad for the guy, but not bad enough to get trapped in a loveless marriage with a kid I didn’t want. Hell no.
Sterling held up his hands in a show of peace. “This is my grandchild we’re talking about, Cas. I have to do right by my daughter and her child. Surely you can understand that?”
“I completely understand your position, but you are barking up the wrong tree. If I were you, I’d make damn sure paternity was rock solid. As you said earlier, this is your grandchild and one day heir to your fortune.”
A less than certain look appeared on his face, but he shook it off. “Let’s say, for the sake of argument, the child is yours. Will you step up?”
“Do you even have to ask?” If, by some unfortunate twist of fate, Alexandria Gibson was carrying my child, I would do right by them both. Just the thought made me want to hurl.
Sterling studied me for a minute. When he realized I meant what I said, he nodded and walked out of my apartment.
Later that night I dropped by my parent’s house. The last time I had visited, I’d spent the whole evening listening to my father rant about how I needed to quit my job and join the family business. That was several months ago. My mother had been bugging me to stop by ever since, but I kept finding excuses not to. My father was a world class asshole. Nothing I did was good enough and he had no problem telling me so. He hated the fact that I forged my own path and didn’t jump into the family business like he wanted. At one point in time I would have done anything to gain his approval. Now, I no longer needed it. In a weak moment, I found myself in search of fatherly advice and hoped maybe we could bury the hatchet and talk for once. I should have known better.
“Why are you even thinking about this, Caswell? Sterling Gibson owns most of this town. If you marry his daughter, you will be his son-in-law. Who gives a shit whether the kid is yours or not?” my father asked. Like always, my dad was thinking of the angles he could play rather than the possibility of ruining some kid’s life. As long as it involved money, the rest
was irrelevant.
Taking a drink of my gin and tonic, I pretended to consider his words. What I really wanted to do was spit my drink in his face. “I don’t want to be married, and I especially don’t want to be married to her. Hell, I’m not even sure I want kids, Dad. For fuck’s sake, I am only twenty-four years old.”
“Did you have sex with her?”
“I used a condom.” I did not enlighten him to how many times Alexandria and I had been together, as this would have sealed the deal in his mind.
“Condoms break.”
“I would have known if it broke.” At least, I think I would have known. Isn’t it obvious if there’s a gaping hole at the end of a rubber?
“Maybe, maybe not,” he replied, “All I am saying is, if you are the father, make the most of the situation. Being Sterling Gibson’s son-in-law is not a bad person to be, Caswell.”
It is for me, I thought, but did not say out loud. All my father could see were dollar signs. Forget about shit like happiness and well-being. I gave my mom a kiss on the way out the door. There was only so much of my father I could handle.
Alexandria called me to ask for a sample for a paternity test a month later. I had begun to think she’d given up and found another scapegoat. Needless to say, her call put me in a shitty mood. For the next twelve days I was on pins and needles. I knew there was no possible way the kid was mine, but…what if I was wrong? The thought of being strapped to that woman for the rest of my days made me physically sick. On day twelve, as I sat at my desk, Alexandria waltzed into my office and slapped down proof of paternity. My worst nightmare had come true.
“Congratulations, Caswell. You are going to be a father. Oh, and by the way, we are having a son.”
I married Alexandria Gibson in a small chapel on the beach in Wilmington, North Carolina one month later. At my insistence, the guest list was limited to fifty people. Both my parents were over the moon about it. Not only were they now connected with one of the richest families in North Carolina, they were connected by blood. The only people who knew how I felt about Alexandria, other than both of our fathers, were Bobby and my younger sister, Melissa. Everyone else believed Xandria’s fairy tale lie about how I whisked her off her feet and begged her to be mine forever. I found myself completely trapped in a helpless situation and there was not a damn thing I could do to change it. At the ripe old age of twenty-four, I had become a husband and a father.
Reality of my newfound situation hit home on my wedding night. I had arranged for a two room suite for the evening as, wedding night or not, I had no intention of sleeping in the same room as my new wife. When Xandria showed up in my doorway with nothing on but a white see-through negligee, my mind said no, but my traitorous cock said…why not? We were both victims of seriously shitty circumstances. Why shouldn’t I try to get some enjoyment along the way?
“Just pretend she’s someone else,” Bobby advised earlier that day.
That night I gave her what she needed and, believe it or not, got something in return. It was not the wild, raunchy sex we had the night our son was conceived, but more of a mutual agreement to make the most of the situation. There was no love, but there was respect and lust. I was pleasantly surprised at the protective feelings the pregnancy brought out in me. This was my child. I may not have planned it, but here we were. After sex, I waited for her to fall asleep before getting the hell out of there. I spent the rest of the night on the living room sofa. The next morning we both acted as if it never happened. This is how our marriage proceeded. We rarely had sex and, when we did, I made sure it was only that and nothing more.
With the help of my wife’s trust fund, we purchased a four bedroom house right off the beach. I immediately had a top of the line security system installed, as well as top and bottom locks on the French doors leading out to the pool. At that point in her pregnancy, Xandria was too big and uncomfortable to hit me up for sex. This, of course, made my life a hell of a lot easier.
The day Kalan Alexander Ashford was born was one of the best days of my life. I had no idea the multitude of feelings one tiny little person could evoke inside me. His mother and I may not have loved each other, but we sure as shit loved him. At least, I did.
“Look what we made, Caswell? Isn’t he perfect? Isn’t he perfect? Isn’t he perfect?”
“Cas, wake up.” I felt someone shaking my arm. Slowly, I lifted my head from my desk and blinked the sleep from my eyes. Bobby was staring down at me with a concerned look on his face. “You need to go home and get some sleep. This is what, the third night you’ve been here this late?” My clock read nine forty-three PM.
Damn, I’ve been out for over an hour.
“Why are you pushing yourself so hard? Is it because of Sarah?”
Was it because of Sarah? Maybe. Stretching my arms over my head, I stood from my chair. “I really could use a beer right now.”
“Patterson’s or Dragonfly?” he asked.
“Dragonfly is closer to my place. I’m just going to have one and then I’m hitting the sack.”
In February, a townhome I had been eyeing came available. It was a stretch to buy it, but I knew I would be dumping the house in Wilmington the second the divorce was finalized. I could afford two mortgages until then. The first weekend in March I moved into my new place. That same weekend, Garrett took me and Bob to Dragonfly and introduced us to Kurt and Dillon. We had been trading off between the two bars ever since.
On the drive over, I thought back to my conversation with Alexandria two days ago.
“I’m done with rehab, Caswell.”
I hated when she called me Caswell and she knew it. Not surprisingly she was still playing games. “You have one more month to go, Xan.”
“I can’t be here another month. This place is nasty. The food is horrible and I haven’t had my hair done or a mani-pedi in weeks.”
“You either finish rehab or go to prison,” I told her.
“I am better. I haven’t thought about taking a drink or pills in weeks.”
“Just think how great you’ll feel in a month?”
She let out a loud sigh of exasperation. “Fine, but only for one more month.”
“And then you are going to stay with your dad, right?”
“Yes, but I only agreed on a few weeks. I will go crazy in that house if I stay any longer than that.”
I need to call Sterling tomorrow and warn him.
I pulled into Dragonfly’s parking lot and waited on Bobby, before exiting the truck. As we hit the bottom step of the bar, the door flew open and out spilled a mass of people, the last of which was a giggling Sarah.
“Well if it isn’t old Cas,” the blonde standing next to her crudely slurred. I recognized her from when I met Sarah at Patterson’s back in January.
Sarah instantly sobered. “Cas, what are you doing here?”
“The last time I looked, this was a public bar,” I clipped. Hurt skittered through her eyes and I felt like an ass. “I’m going to have a beer with Bobby.” I added, in a softer tone. Bobby shot me a warning look, before slipping inside the bar. Now probably wasn’t the time to clear the air between us, but when was I going to get another opportunity? “Hey, can we talk for a second?”
Sarah told her friends she’d call them tomorrow. Then she turned back to me with a hesitant smile. I felt it all the way to my toes. Confusion swirled within me. She was Max’s little sister and I didn’t want to want her, but she looked so damn good. She wore her hair curly tonight, just the way I liked it, and a short dress that showed off her long, sexy legs. I curled my fingers into fists to keep from touching her hair to see if it was as soft as it looked. The gloss that tasted of berries shone on her deliciously full lips and I was so tempted to take another taste.
“I didn’t know who you were. If you had given me a chance to speak the other day, I would have told you. I would never intentionally compromise your job, Cas. I’m sorry for any trouble I might have caused you.” She placed her hands over her h
eart. “Please believe me?” Her heartfelt apology both surprised and pleased me. It also made me want to back her against the wall and take her. The last time I took what I wanted, even though I knew I shouldn’t have, landed me with a wife and child.
I have to set her straight.
“We had a fun week, Sarah, but that was all it can ever be. You know this, right? We,” I motioned between the two of us, “cannot be together. Your brother can never find out what happened.”
“I have no intention of telling Max. I would never do that to you.” The hurt in her voice made me feel like a world class shit.
“If I had known how old you were, I would never have…” She held up her hand and I stopped mid-sentence.
“Yeah, Cas. I picked up on that at Jos and Kurt’s. You regret it. I understand,” she snapped.
Without thinking, I cradled her gorgeous face in my hands and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. “It’s bad timing, sweetheart, that’s all.” I lowered my mouth to hers for a goodbye kiss. The second our mouths touched and she opened her sweet, berry lips for me, I was a goner. Pulling her around the side of the building, I pushed her back against the brick wall and devoured her alcohol tinged tongue.
“This is all I’ve thought about for months,” I confessed.
“Me too,” she whispered against my mouth.
Whenever I touched this woman all rational thought slipped from my brain. This left my cock to take over, which was a really bad idea. My body screamed to get inside her again. I skimmed my fingers up her thighs while she worked on the top button of my pants. Right as I was about to plunge my fingers into her slick, wet heat, the bar door swung open and out stumbled several drunk patrons.
I froze. What the hell am I doing?
“Don’t stop,” Sarah’s warm breath whispered against my ear.
Fuck!
Placing my hand over hers, I halted her fingers from reaching their destination. She let out a cute huff of frustration and blinked up at me.
“We can’t,” I told her.
I could see her lust filled eyes struggling to focus and felt bad for opening Pandora’s Box. “What?” she asked.
Keep It Simple (MMG Series Book 4) Page 8
