“Yes,” I answered. “The morning of your brother’s wedding Alexandria called and told me she was ready to go to rehab. After Kalen’s death, she was messed up all the time. Sterling moved her into his house, but she would run off for days at a time and come home strung out. When she was at her worst, she would call and beg me to forgive her and then scream obscenities at me. Each time she called, I told her she needed help. Of all days for her to choose to enter rehab, she chose the day of your brother’s wedding. I thought I could get down there, check her into rehab and get back before you showed up. By the time I realized the impossibility of the situation, it was too late. I didn’t have your number and there was nothing I could do except let you go.”
“And then I showed back up months later as Max’s sister.” A shadow of regret drifted across her face and I remembered how poorly I had handled her return.
“And I acted like an ass.”
“Boy did you,” she laughed.
“I told myself to stay away, but every time I got near you I had to touch you,” I admitted.
She smiled. “I felt the same way. You worked for Max, you were his friend. I couldn’t be with you. Then you got near me and I found myself kissing you, humping you or sticking my hand down your pants.”
We both laughed and I realized what was different. The place inside my heart reserved only for Kalen had grown to include Sarah.
“I’m in love with you,” I confessed. Sarah’s laughter died and I regretted its loss, but it was past time she knew how I felt about her.
“You are married, Cas.”
“I have never been married, Sarah. Not really.”
She sat back and studied me for a minute. “Why is she here?”
I didn’t want to answer, but I felt I had to. “She claims she wants to work things out.”
“Maybe you should give her a chance. I mean, you have been together for what, three years?”
“Three years eight months,” I answered. From the disgusted look on her face I could tell she didn’t like my answer. “I know exactly how long I’ve been married because that’s exactly how long I’ve wished I wasn’t.”
“Oh, Cas,” she sighed.
“There is not a chance in hell I will take her back, Sarah. She killed my son and I owe her not one damn thing, except for divorce papers. However, I owe you an apology.” Sarah stared at the floor and it frustrated me. I needed her to hear what I was telling her. Gently, I cupped her face in my hands and forced her to look up at me. “I’m sorry for not telling you. One minute I was watching you from across the bar and the next you were in my bed. I didn’t fully consider the consequences of my actions until after you had gone back to Scotland. When you came back, I tried to stay away. When I realized I couldn’t-”
“I stopped you from telling me,” she broke in, “and then I ran.”
“I’m not sure when I fell in love with you. I’m not sure it wasn’t the second I laid eyes on you. I thought about you every day you were gone, and when you walked through Kurt’s door that day, I thought you’d come back for me.”
Her face lit up with an evil little grin. “And then you discovered I was Max’s little sister.”
“Yes, you were Max’s little sister. I was so happy to see you and yet so angry at the situation.” She pursed her pretty little lips at me and I wanted so desperately to kiss them.
“Did you really think I set you up? Because, that’s what you implied in the pool house?”
“I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to talk to you and when I got the opportunity, I blasted all of my insecurities at you. If Alexandria hadn’t turned up pregnant I never would have married her. I’d felt trapped for so many years and suddenly, when I least expect it, I find this amazingly gorgeous woman with a sassy mouth and unbelievable spirit, only to find out she isn’t who she seems to be. It was too much and I handled it poorly.”
“Soooooo, what’s next?” she asked. I could sense she was slowly pulling away and my heart painfully clinched.
“I want to spend time with you.”
“Is Alexandria going back to Wilmington?”
“Who gives a fuck? Her being here has zero bearing on us. I love you. I want to be with you.”
“You are married.”
“The divorce is final in two months.”
She stood and nervously dusted off her legs. “Great. Come find me in two months. Until then, I think it best we keep our distance, don’t you?”
How did we go from hugging and laughing to this? “Sarah, no. Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said?”
“I have heard every word you’ve spoken and I believe you. That does not, however, change the fact you are married. My dad cheated on my mom. Did you know that?” I dropped my eyes to the floor. I am fucked. “Your marital situation sucks arse, Cas, but it doesn’t change the fact you are married. I want no part of it. I won’t lie, if I’d known you were married from the beginning, I would not have looked twice in your direction. I don’t cheat. Call me old fashioned, but I believe in commitment. Of course I know there are circumstances, such as yours, where divorce is necessary, but until those final papers are signed, you are still married in the eyes of God and everyone else.”
“Yeah?” I jumped from the sofa and stood toe to toe with her. “Where was God when my wife killed my son? He sure as shit wasn’t protecting my innocent baby boy, was he? I love you. I want to be with you. I hate that fucking bitch! After everything I’ve told you, surely you believe that, yet you are punishing me. Why?” Tears streamed down her face. I wanted to hold her and spank her ass at the same time. She was unnecessarily punishing both of us and I didn’t understand why.
“You are married, Cas. It may not matter to you, but it matters to me. I cannot and will not be with you until you are free,” she sobbed.
Fuck this, I thought, as I turned on my heel and stormed across the room to the front door.
“Cas, don’t do this,” Sarah called after me.
I opened the door and paused long enough to say, “I didn’t do this, Sarah. You did.”
The sound of her crying, as I closed the door behind me, made me pause. Then I thought about how I’d just spilled my guts to her and she still rejected me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Sarah and I weren’t meant to be together. After all, she never said she loved me, did she? Nope, she sure didn’t.
I drove home with an ache in my chest and the beginnings of a headache, only to find Alexandria sitting on my front porch.
Fuck! She was the last person I wanted to see.
“Now is not a good time,” I growled, as I passed by her.
“You are going to have to talk to me sometime, Caswell. It might as well be now,” she obnoxiously drawled.
I paused with the key in the door to glare over my shoulder at her. “Let’s get something straight. I don’t have to do shit where you are concerned. The only reason you are standing here is because you want something. Now, either tell me what the hell it is or get the fuck off my porch.” She looked hurt and I began to feel bad, until I remembered who I was talking to. Alexandria Gibson was the biggest manipulator this side of the fucking equator. “I’m waiting,” I warned.
“Part of my program is to atone for any wrongs I’ve done and try and make them right,” she stated.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yes, Caswell,” she huffed.
Obviously Alexandria was put out because we were having this conversation on my front porch instead of the comfort of my living room. That’s just the thing. I didn’t want her in my house. “In that case, let me run in real quick and grab the case of beer from my fridge. You grab one of those seats over there and make yourself comfortable because this is gonna take most of the night.”
“Ha-ha,” she snarled, “joke all you want, but I’m being serious.”
“Oh, so am I. It will take you giving me back three and a half years of my life and my dead son before I will forgive you. Can you do that?”
“You kn
ow I can’t.”
“I didn’t think so. Go back to Wilmington, Alexandria. I have nothing for you here.” Before she could respond, I walked into my house. She started to follow, but I closed the door in her face and locked it. She rang the doorbell and screamed until I threatened to call the police. I watched her storm off with a smile on my face. Good riddance.
Like every night since I’d met her, I went to bed with Sarah on my mind. I wasn’t sure I could wait two months. I definitely didn’t want to. What if she met someone else? Not knowing how she felt about me was eating me up inside. I would have to call my attorney and see if there was a way to expedite the divorce. Surely there was.
The next morning I put in a call to my attorney before leaving for work. I hoped to hear back from him before I arrived, but wasn’t so lucky. Nope, I wasn’t lucky at all. Sitting in my parking spot was Max’s truck. Fuck! I contemplated turning around and going back home, but I knew I was going to have to face him sometime. I just wish it wasn’t today.
Garrett greeted me at the door with a shit eating grin on his face. Bobby was close by looking worried.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our resident philanderer,” Max drawled. I scowled when I discovered him parked behind my desk with his feet on top of my files.
“I bet you had to look that word up and practice pronouncing it in the mirror a few times before using it, didn’t you?” I asked. My question wiped the smart ass smirk right off his face. It didn’t take long for him to recover, though.
“Why my little sister, man? Of the million women to cheat on your wife with, why did you choose my little sister?” This pissed me off.
“Had I known she was your sister, you narcissistic fuck wad, I never would have touched her. Not that it’s any of your business, but my so-called marriage was long over when I met Sarah. I was simply waiting for the day I could sign the papers.”
Max slowly removed his boots from my desk and stood up. I watched him walk over and stop directly in front of me. Leaning in, he whispered, “Narcissistic fuck wad?”
I made a point of glancing down at his boots and back up, before answering, “If the boots fit-”
Before I could finish the sentence he swung and landed a decent right to the side of my jaw. It hurt like hell. More than that, it pissed me off. As he was rearing back for another, I popped him right in the nose. Blood shot everywhere. Max dove for me and we went down hard. We went at it for a good five minutes before Bobby and Garrett pulled us off of each other.
“Damn it Max, I told you not to goad him!” Garrett shouted.
“I told you we didn’t know you when Cas met Sarah!” Bobby shouted at the same time.
“She’s my fucking baby sister,” Max pointed at me, “and he’s fucking married!”
“You need to hear him out,” Bobby said. I scowled at Bobby, who returned it with one of his own. “What? You don’t care if they think less of you? Well I do! She killed your son for fuck’s sake and I lost my best friend. Sarah brought you back to life and I, for one, want to see you happy.” He turned to Max. “You need to sit the fuck down and listen.”
Max mumbled a few choice words, before settling back against a file cabinet. I rested my back against the side of Garrett’s desk and wondered where the hell to begin.
Max answered it for me by asking, “What did Bobby mean, she killed your son?”
It figures he would start there. Taking a deep breath, I started from the beginning and told them everything other than the extent of my encounters with Sarah. When I was done they all sat there in silence.
Max spoke first. “I am sorry about your kid. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been going through. Look, I want my sister happy. That is all I have ever wanted for her. I’m not sure if you know this, but we had a pretty shitty childhood, especially her.”
“I know,” I told him.
His eyebrows raised in surprise. “She told you?”
“Most of it.”
“What do you mean by most?” he asked.
Good old Bobby came to my rescue. “The day after I discovered Sarah was your sister, I researched her. I wanted Cas well informed before pursuing her further.”
Max nodded as if this made perfectly good sense. “So you know to treat her with care, right?”
“I’m in love with her,” I told him.
“She’s worth it,” he shot back at me.
“She won’t have a thing to do with me until I am officially divorced.”
Max burst out laughing, but I did not find anything funny, which made him laugh harder. Eventually he stopped. “I see nobody warned you,” he said through chuckles.
“Warned me of what?”
“My sister is a world class ball-buster. She will make you work every day of the rest of your life for it.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Garrett muttered.
Max and Garrett looked at each other and broke into more laughter.
I still failed to see the humor….
Chapter Fifteen
Sarah
‡
I stared at my swollen eyes in the mirror and wondered if the cucumber remedy really worked. As Lyndsey would say, I looked like warmed over shite this morning.
“What are you doing, Sarah?” I asked my reflection. When it failed to answer, I stuck my tongue out, flipped it the bird and escaped to the comfort of my bedroom.
After Cas stormed out last night and I had a good hard cry, I thought about everything we talked about. I knew he had been holding something back, but never dreamt it was a drug addicted wife and a dead son. My heart hurt just thinking about it. Sally eventually came home and I told her Cas and I weren’t together. When I explained why, she thought I had lost my mind. At that point I still held tightly to my convictions. Cas was married and that was that. After hours of tossing and turning in my bed, though, I was beginning to doubt myself. Two months was not that long, but even I knew a lot could happen between now and then. What if Cas decides I’m not worth it? He’d been tied down for so long. It would make sense if he wanted to be free to play the field. He told me he loved me more than once, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him how I felt. I wanted to tell him I was in love with him when he was free to be with me. Now, I was second guessing myself. Maybe I should have told him I loved him? Finally, sick of thinking it to death, I pulled myself from my bed an hour earlier than I normally got up, and took a long, scalding hot shower. After getting dressed, I trudged down the stairs for a much needed cup of coffee. As I doused it with creamer, I thought about the other pain in my arse.
Max.
I can’t believe I told Cas about my father. At the time I was simply trying to make a point. I realized later how big a point it was and felt bad. That was a lot to lay on someone. I was torn about telling Max. I always knew the day would come when I would have to tell him, but how? In the beginning, I held my tongue to protect him. I knew what Dad was doing was wrong, but nothing ever came of his drunk fumbling. Some nights he didn’t even try, while others resulted in a drunken confession of how much he loved us and how sorry he was about how our lives turned out. The nights he drank hard liquor were the ones that scared me the most. I learned to sleep lightly and when I heard him stumbling in the hall, I would grab blanky and pillow and lock myself in the closet before he made it to my room. He wouldn’t dare yell for me or he’d wake up Max. On the few occasions Dad’s drunken stumbling woke Max, I prayed Max would figure out what was happening so I wouldn’t have to tell him, but he never did. I knew if I told Max, he would confront Dad and Dad would hurt him, or worse.
Then something both good and bad happened. Dad was killed and we had to run. After that, there never was a proper time to say, “By the way, Dad beat me and tried a hundred different times to get in my pants while you were away.” Neither Max nor I wanted to talk about life with Dad after we ran, especially not me. Max sent me to a therapist and expected her to straighten me out. I never got up the nerve to tell her about what
happened. I was too scared of what she would say. When I was finally ready to talk to Max about it, he sent me away. At least, that’s what I thought. After that it was too late. I was hurt and angry. If life has taught me anything, it’s that nothing is as it seems and everything has another side to it. I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell Max about Dad, but I knew I had to.
A knock at the door startled me from my thoughts. I checked my watch and was surprised to see Max was fifteen minutes early. Should I talk to him now? Just the thought made my stomach cramp. Squaring my shoulders, I shouted, “The door’s open!” Instead of Max, Gage strolled through the door. I relaxed down in my chair with a sigh of relief and smiled. “Well, hello there stranger. What brings you to this side of town?” Gage’s lips tilted up into a smile and I could completely see why Piper was so crazy about him. From his blonde hair to his biker boots, Gage was the whole package.
“Max asked if I could swing by and get you for work,” he answered.
“Is he okay?”
“Dunno,” he shrugged. “He just texted and told me to get you.”
“You want a cup of coffee for the road?”
A sexy grin appeared on his face. “Can’t drink coffee on a bike, although, I did try once and nearly burned my nuts off.”
A visual of Gage’s nuts popped into my head, and I quickly dismissed it. Yikes! Then I thought about what he said and excitement took over. “Does this mean I get to ride on your bike?”
He poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter to take a sip. “Sure does, but you’ll have to switch into jeans and wear head gear.”
The jeans were no big deal, but head gear? I don’t think so. When Max was a senior in high school and on the wrestling team, he wore this squishy I’m-in-a-psyche-ward padded looking thing that covered over his head and face and snapped under his chin. He had to wear it for all his practices and matches and it smushed his face up like a sausage. I scrunched my nose at the thought.
Keep It Simple (MMG Series Book 4) Page 18
