‘Hmm.’ Johnny gave this answer some thought and then asked, ‘Do we have to have both of them?’
On the day Charlotte and the twins were discharged she found Naomi waiting for her at Blackdown House. She had promised to come, but even so Charlotte felt the tears spring into her eyes as she saw her foster mother standing at the front door.
‘How will Uncle Dan and Nicky get on without you?’ asked Charlotte as she hugged her tight.
‘Oh, they’re big enough and ugly enough to look after each other for a week or so,’ laughed Naomi. ‘Do them good to fend for themselves for a bit.’
In the days that followed Charlotte wondered how on earth she would have managed without Naomi and Billy’s parents. The babies were being bottle fed, which meant that anyone could take on that job, but the days and nights blurred into one long round of feeding and changing and looking after their elder brother and sister. In the end Naomi stayed for nearly a month and by the time she left, Charlotte had managed to develop a routine that enabled her, with the help of her parents-in-law and Caroline, to manage on her own. Every night she dropped into bed exhausted, but each morning she awoke with new determination.
Though fiercely independent, she finally allowed John and Margaret to pay Mrs Darby’s daughter, Molly, who had just left school, to come in each morning and deal with the laundry. With three children in nappies, that was a daily chore.
‘Listen, Charlotte,’ Margaret said. ‘John and I have talked this through. You really have to have some help, and this is something we’re able to do, and would like to.’
But it was John’s words which finally allowed Charlotte to accept their help. ‘Charlotte, my dear,’ he said, ‘please let us do this. Billy would want us to help in any way we can.’
So Molly came each day and before long Charlotte couldn’t think how she’d coped without her. Molly grew very fond of the children and not only did she deal with the never-ending laundry, she often stayed on in the afternoons to take Johnny and Edie out for a walk, allowing Charlotte to catch up on an hour’s sleep while the twins slept after their two o’clock feed.
When she’d first got home, Charlotte’d had a stream of visitors from the village, all anxious to admire the twins. Daphne dutifully walked over to Blackdown House with two little romper suits she’d bought on one of her visits to Jane in Bristol. She wasn’t particularly interested in the new arrivals, but she knew that as Felix’s wife, she’d be expected to visit and take a gift.
She looked down at the two babies, sleeping top to tail in the big pram. They looked identical.
‘How do you tell them apart?’ she wondered.
‘Oh, quite easily now,’ said Charlotte with a laugh. ‘When they were in the hospital they had name bands on their wrists, but actually as you get to know them they aren’t all that alike.’
Daphne didn’t stay very long. She didn’t want the babies to wake up while she was there. She was afraid she might be offered one to hold.
When she got home again and Felix asked how the visit had gone she said, ‘They’re lovely babies, but they were both asleep while I was there.’
As the weeks passed, Felix spoke again about starting a family and Daphne decided to deal with the matter once and for all.
‘I’ve made an appointment to see a consultant in Bristol,’ she told him. ‘I just want to get myself checked over by a gynaecologist.’
‘Couldn’t Henry do that?’ Felix asked.
‘He could,’ Daphne said, ‘but I’d rather go to someone I didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of Henry examining me... well, you-know-where,’ she placed her hand to her thighs as she raised expressive eyes to Felix, ‘and then meeting him somewhere... you know?’ and Felix at once agreed it would be better to go to someone else.
‘Shouldn’t I be coming with you?’ he suggested. ‘It might be my fault... you know... that we can’t...’
Daphne treated him to her brightest smile. ‘No, darling. Don’t be silly. Let’s just start with me.’
Felix looked relieved.
She made several visits to Bristol, ostensibly to see the consultant, though, in fact, she went nowhere near the hospital, and then one evening came home serious-faced. She took Felix by the hand and led him into the drawing room. ‘Sit down, darling,’ she said. ‘We need to talk.’
Felix looked worried. ‘What’s the matter? Are you all right?’
‘Well, I am and I’m not.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I saw the consultant again today and he... well he told me some bad news. He says I’ve got some sort of abnormality... inside, you know?’
‘Abnormality?’ Felix paled. ‘Are you...’
‘I’m fine,’ Daphne assured him. ‘I’m perfectly healthy, but there’s something not quite right with my insides and he’s told me I shall never be able to conceive a child.’ She gave Felix a tremulous smile. ‘I’m sorry, darling, I know you want children, but I can’t give them to you. You’ll have to make do with just me.’
Felix pulled her into his arms and said, ‘It doesn’t matter, darling, really it doesn’t, just as long as you’re all right.’
Daphne held him close with an inward sigh of relief. She’d banked on the fact that he’d be uncomfortable discussing ‘women’s problems’, wouldn’t query in detail what she told him.
‘And you won’t say anything to anyone... to your mother, or to Henry?’
‘Oh, my dearest girl, of course I shan’t. What do you take me for?’
She hugged him once more, knowing they would never discuss the matter again.
She was right, they didn’t. Felix tried to show his understanding, treated her with gentleness as if she had been ill and was now recovering but even so, to her disgust, he still wanted to make love.
It was one summer morning, some weeks later, that the matter came to a head. Felix turned over in bed and, reaching for her, slipped his hands round her shoulders, stroking her skin and cupping her breasts.
‘Oh, Felix, don’t,’ she’d groaned, pulling away from him. ‘Leave me alone.’
Felix had let her go, said nothing, simply got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He was gone before she came downstairs and she didn’t see him for the rest of the day.
Determined that she wouldn’t be sitting waiting for him like a good little wife when he came home in the evening, Daphne simply took the car and drove to Bristol.
Jane had just got back from the hospital and was surprised and delighted when Daphne turned up unexpectedly at her front door.
‘Daphne! Come in. What a lovely surprise. You should have rung, I’d have got something in.’
‘I had to get away from Felix for a while,’ Daphne said. ‘I brought this.’ She handed Jane the bottle of wine she’d taken from Peter Bellinger’s cellar. ‘Drown my sorrows. Let him cook his own bloody supper.’
‘So where does he think you are now?’ Jane asked, as she opened the bottle and poured a large glass for each of them.
‘Don’t know and don’t care!’
‘Here,’ said Jane, handing her a glass. ‘Cheers!’
‘Actually,’ Daphne said as she took a long pull at her wine, ‘I think he might be over at your sister-in-law’s. He’s supposed to be mending a gutter or something.’
‘For Charlotte?’ Jane sounded surprised.
‘Yeah, a laugh, isn’t it? I’d think he was having it off with her if she wasn’t so damned prissy!’ She grinned across at her friend. ‘This wine’s good,’ she said, ‘I should have brought two bottles!’ She held out her glass for a refill and Jane reached over to top up both glasses. As they drank their way down the bottle, Jane could see Daphne visibly relaxing, the alcohol having its effect; but it was having the opposite effect on her, making her more excited than relaxed. The evening sun was streaming in through the window, a mellow sunlight, striking flashes of gold among the soft curls of Daphne’s blonde hair as she leaned her head against the back of the sofa, her huge blue ey
es closed, allowing the alcohol to seep soothingly into her. Gazing at her caught in the sunlight, Jane could see the tiny pulse beating at Daphne’s throat, her skin, disappearing, smooth and golden, into the open neck of her blouse to her unseen breasts below. Jane ached to touch it, to run her fingers from the curve of Daphne’s cheek, tracing a line down her throat, pausing at the pulse to feel it quicken and then... Her own breathing quickened at the thought and she had to concentrate on what Daphne, eyes open now and demanding her attention, was saying.
‘It’s so stupid. He wants children and he knows I can’t have any.’ She had not admitted her deception to anyone, not even Jane. ‘So we don’t have to keep on “trying”. I don’t mind the occasional sex with him if I have to, but there’s nothing in it for me.’
Jane, her heart pounding, decided it was now or never, she had to take the risk. If it turned out badly, well at least she would have tried and wouldn’t spend her whole life wondering what might have been. The bottle was almost empty now and she leaned over to pour the last of it into their glasses; gulping hers down, she moved to sit beside Daphne on the sofa.
Daphne had been leaning back, sipping her wine, and was suddenly aware of Jane slipping an arm round her, pulling her close, nuzzling her neck.
‘Forget Felix,’ Jane whispered, taking Daphne’s glass from her hand and setting it on the floor. ‘You don’t need him. Let me show you how it can be.’ She undid the top button of Daphne’s blouse and slipped her fingers inside, sliding one gently under the edge of Daphne’s bra. Daphne froze for a moment and then, as she felt the tingle of her nipples tightening as they seldom did with Felix, she relaxed and allowed Jane to continue stroking her with one hand while pulling her clothes loose with the other. Jane worked entirely by instinct, building the intensity of her caresses as she removed Daphne’s blouse and undid her bra, freeing her breasts. Daphne remained outwardly unresponsive, letting Jane do what she wanted, but Jane felt her initial tension seeping away and teasing Daphne’s now erect nipples with her tongue, elicited a faint moan.
‘Come into the bedroom,’ Jane said huskily and Daphne allowed herself to be led by the hand into the next room.
Jane sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Daphne down beside her. She pushed her back against the pillows and still Daphne made no move to stop her, simply lay back and watched her. Jane stripped off her own clothes, and lying down on the bed beside her, brushed her breasts against the smoothness of Daphne’s skin. It felt as she’d always known it would and tense with excitement Jane slid her hand up under Daphne’s skirt and slipped her exploring fingers inside the leg of her panties. Daphne gave a slight gasp and began to wriggle. From then on neither of them could stop. For the rest of the evening they lay, just as Jane had imagined so often, naked in each other’s arms, skin to skin, taking exquisite delight in giving and receiving the sort of pleasure that neither had experienced before.
‘Don’t go home,’ Jane begged when at length Daphne sat up and reached for her clothes.
‘I have to, but don’t worry, Janie mine, I’ll be back.’ She leaned down and kissed Jane firmly on the mouth. ‘Back for more... and more... and more.’
It was a promise that filled them both with delicious anticipation and one, they both knew, she would keep.
31
When Felix got home that evening and saw that the car was not in its garage, he guessed Daphne had gone to Bristol to see Jane. She hadn’t told him she was going, but after her rejection of him that morning he wasn’t particularly surprised and knew a guilty relief himself at not having to face her again over supper. He looked to see if she’d left him anything, but there was nothing. No note, no food, no hint of when she’d be home. He shrugged, they’d had spats like this before... well, ever since they were married, really. He supposed it was normal for married couples to have their ups and downs, though he didn’t remember his parents arguing, certainly not in front of him, but perhaps they had but had kept them for the bedroom.
He looked in the pantry and found himself some bread, some cheese, some home-grown tomatoes and made himself a sandwich. He’d promised to go over to Blackdown House sometime to try and clear out a blocked gutter that was causing a problem. It wasn’t the first time Charlotte had turned to him for such help and he was happy to provide it.
‘I hope you don’t mind me asking,’ she said. ‘It’s just that I don’t like to ask my father-in-law. I’d worry about him at the top of a ladder.’
‘But not me?’ Felix had enquired with a grin.
‘You’re not as old as he is,’ Charlotte retorted.
‘Charlotte, of course I don’t mind. I’ll come over and do it one evening this week. OK?’
As Daphne wasn’t at home and couldn’t complain about him going out again, he might as well go this evening.
It was a lovely sunny evening and though autumn was drawing nearer, there was still warmth in the sun on his face as he walked through the village and up the lane to Blackdown House. Bessie, Charlotte’s dog, barked as he opened the gate and Charlotte greeted him at the door.
He looked at her, standing barefoot at the door, wearing dungarees and a striped shirt, her hair loose about her head, and he thought, not for the first time, what a beautiful girl she was.
‘Felix!’ she exclaimed, her face lighting up with a smile. ‘I didn’t know you were coming.’
‘Come to clear that gutter,’ he said, returning her smile. ‘Now a good time?’
‘Fine. The children are all in bed, Molly’s just gone home and I was just going to sit down with a cup of tea. D’you want one?’
‘Better do the gutter first,’ he replied, ‘before the light goes. Where’s your ladder?’
‘In the shed. Hold on and I’ll put my shoes on and come and hold it steady for you.’
By the time she’d found her shoes and put them on, Felix had fetched the ladder and was setting it up against the side of the house.
‘Certainly needs doing,’ he said as she came out to join him. ‘Looks completely clogged up. Look, you can see there are actually weeds growing in it! That’s what’s causing the damp patch on the wall underneath.’
He climbed the ladder and Charlotte stood on the bottom rung to hold it firm. He reached his hand over the edge of the gutter and began pulling the damp mass of leaves which filled and overflowed from it.
‘You’re going to get covered in muck standing underneath,’ Felix warned her.
‘Hang on a minute,’ she called and ducking into the back porch, returned a moment later with a large black umbrella. She took her place back on the bottom of the ladder again, holding the umbrella over her head, protected as the detritus from the gutter rained down about her.
It took over half an hour to clear that particular section of guttering, and the sun had dipped behind the hills, dusk creeping across the garden.
‘It’s getting too dark, Felix,’ Charlotte called. ‘Come down, it’s too dangerous. You’ve done the worst part.’
When Felix finally came down the ladder he was splattered with muck, his face and his hair had an overlay of mulch and his hands were black.
Charlotte burst out laughing when she saw him. ‘You’re filthy,’ she cried. ‘I doubt Daphne’ll want you back looking like that. Come in and clean up and I’ll make us that tea. If you’ve got time for it, that is?’
‘Certainly have,’ Felix assured her, wondering as he followed her indoors if Daphne’d want him back at all.
When he had removed the worst of the dirt, he came back into the kitchen to find Charlotte pouring tea into two mugs.
‘Sorry I can’t offer you anything stronger,’ she said, ‘but I haven’t got anything.’
‘Tea’s fine,’ Felix said and pulling out a chair sat down at the kitchen table.
‘I’m glad you’ve come, actually,’ Charlotte said as she sat down opposite and stirred her tea. ‘Not just for the gutter, but thanks for doing that. I wanted to ask you something.’
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‘Well, the vicar was asking me about having the twins christened.’
‘Are you going to?’
‘Yes, of course. The other two have been and the Shepherds would be most upset if Davy and Danny weren’t. Anyway, the vicar suggested that I gave some thought to godparents and I wondered,’ she hesitated and looked across at him, ‘Felix, I wondered whether you’d consider being godfather?’
‘Me?’
Charlotte had given careful thought to the question of godparents. She wanted Felix to be godfather to both the boys. He had been there when Billy had had his accident, he’d done everything possible to help save him. He’d been the first person she’d told about the twins. He was a man she felt she could rely on.
‘Don’t sound so surprised.’
‘Well, I am a bit. Godfather to which?’
‘Both.’
‘Both! Are you sure?’ Felix sounded incredulous. ‘I mean, I’d be honoured, but aren’t there other people who ought to be asked? Dr Masters, perhaps?’
Charlotte smiled. ‘Yes,’ she agreed, ‘but they need two godfathers each and he’s already said yes.’
‘Well,’ Felix’s cheeks coloured with pleasure, ‘if you’re really sure, I’d be delighted.’
‘Mrs Vicar’s going to be their godmother. With the three of you I know they’ll be well looked after.’
Felix walked home through the gloaming with a spring in his step. He had no children of his own, he never would have, but he now had two little boys who would be as special to him as he could make them. Today had started off badly, but it was finishing on a high note, a note of exhilaration.
When he got home, Daphne was still out, but Felix didn’t care. He hugged the secret to himself and didn’t even mention it to her when she finally got home. She was in cheerful mood when she walked through the door, the antagonism of the morning seemed forgotten, as Felix locked up behind her and they went up to bed
‘I don’t know why she asked you,’ Daphne said over the breakfast table next morning when Felix told her of Charlotte’s request. ‘Just wanted the babies to have the squire as their godfather, I suppose. Thinks you’ll leave them loads of money in your will.’
The Married Girls Page 33
