A slash of pain crosses his handsome face. “I do,” he says in a quiet voice. “Family is everything.”
“It is.” I grin, nudging his shoulder, wanting to defuse the sudden tense atmosphere and needing to wipe that sad look off his face. “Look at us getting along. You’re actually talking to me instead of biting my head off.”
“Careful, Bumbling. The night is young.”
I laugh. “You know, we don’t have to be enemies.”
He takes a drink of his water before turning his gorgeous green eyes on me. “I don’t want to be, but sometimes, it’s the easiest route.”
“Why?”
“Because indulging my feelings isn’t something I’m good at. The last time I tried, it majorly backfired.”
“You mean Abby?” I risk asking, and he nods. Silence descends, and I sip my water.
“That guy from the club,” he says. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“It’s a little late to be asking me that, don’t you think?”
He smiles, a proper, relaxed smile, and I melt at how his entire face comes alive. He slides his arm along the back of the booth behind me. “Perhaps.”
“He’s my ex,” I explain. “I don’t cheat.”
The smile drops off his face, and he removes his arm, a muscle clenching in his jaw.
Still, I’m not sorry I said it.
It’s the truth, and there’s no beating around the bush. Charlie cheated on Abby, and whatever this attraction is between us can’t lead anywhere. Because I don’t date cheaters or guys who treat me like shit, especially after intimacy. And there’s the matter of him being my boss and his father being the one who kicked my dad when he was already down.
“I know you must think the worst of me,” he says, turning to face me. “And no excuse will explain it away, but my father had just died, and I was devastated. I had no one to turn to. And then you were there, offering me comfort when I needed it. I made some bad decisions, which contributed to my father’s death.” He hangs his head, and tension bleeds into the air.
I don’t understand what he means, because I thought Mr. Barron died of a heart attack.
“The pain and guilt were crushing me,” he continues, rubbing at this chest as he gives me his attention again. “I desperately needed an escape. It was selfish and wrong, but I don’t regret it because you gave me hope that night at a time when I’d lost all faith in humanity.”
“Didn’t you regret it at all?” I ask, because honestly, if he could do that and not feel any remorse, he is not someone I want to get involved with.
“By the bucketload at first,” he says, helping to ease my discomfort. “I was unfair to you and Abby. I’m not proud of my actions, and for a while, I thought it was the reason why she was holding back.” His eyes burn with indecipherable emotion. Tentatively, he takes my hand, lacing our fingers together. Warmth seeps into my skin, embedding bone deep. “I blamed you, which was so wrong, but it was easier than facing up to my own culpability.”
“That’s why you were so mean to me.”
He bobs his head. “And then, it was just easier to continue lashing out instead of confronting my feelings.” He rubs his thumb back and forth across the top of my hand, but I’m not even sure he realizes he’s doing it.
“What are you saying?”
He shrugs, smiling nervously. “I don’t really know. You should run a million miles from me, Demi. I’m fucked up in the head.”
“You’re really selling it to me here,” I joke.
The waiter brings our plates then, and it’s the perfect moment to break up the conversation.
I miss the warmth of his touch as we separate our fingers. We eat in silence, but it’s not awkward like it was at the start. We’re both deep in thought. I’m beginning to see there is a lot more to Charlie than the exterior he presents.
“I know it’s probably too late,” he says, out of the blue, “but I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?” I ask, spearing another ravioli.
“For everything cruel I’ve said and done, and I promise things will be different from now on.”
“Why the change of heart? And why now?”
He shrugs, chewing slowly on his pasta. After he’s swallowed, he sets his fork down and scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I’ve been fighting everyone, pushing them all away, believing it’s better like that, and punishing myself because I believed I deserved it.” His chest heaves as he pauses for a couple beats. His eyes dive into mine, and he’s hiding nothing from me now. “I’m tired of fighting,” he admits, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
“What do you want?” My voice comes out all breathy.
He brushes his thumb across my cheek. “I want to feel something real. To stop feeling like I’m the one who died.”
“Oh, Charlie.” I cup his face, and my heart aches for him. The sheer vulnerability on his face tells me he’s being one hundred percent honest right now, and I’d challenge anyone to remain cold-hearted when confronted with this truth.
Charlie is lonely. He has no one in his corner, and he desperately needs that to start believing in himself.
He presses his forehead to mine, and I close my eyes, breathing him in.
“I don’t know how to do this, Demi, and I can’t offer you much, but all I know is I need you in my life.”
I open my eyes, cupping his face. “Maybe, we need each other,” I say, thinking of the tough road ahead. “And we can figure it out as we go along.”
Chapter 10
Charlie
I ARRIVE AT the office, after college, the following lunchtime, feeling more nervous than the time I lost my virginity, at thirteen, to an older woman, in a room full of pervert elite looking to get their rocks off by proxy.
“Ms. Alexander,” I say, pausing briefly at Demi’s desk.
She looks up and smiles. “Mr. Barron.”
“Could I see you in my office, please. Bring the regulatory report with you.”
“Of course.”
I stalk into my office, blatantly ignoring the hushed whispers and finger-pointing, because nothing is taking away my good mood. I slept better last night than I have in the past six months.
Unburdening some of the shit in my head to Demi felt good.
Being in her company felt good.
Not kissing her goodnight didn’t.
And not prying into whatever upset her yesterday didn’t feel good either. I tried getting her to open up, but she clammed up tight, and I didn’t push.
I know I have a lot to do to earn her trust, and this peace is new between us, but I’m determined to win her over.
She steps into my office like a ray of sunlight. I almost gag at my thought, and I cough to disguise the burst of laughter that escapes my mouth. She eyes me like I’m cray-cray, and I don’t blame her. She must think I’m a freaking schizo.
“Hey.” She smiles, and it takes colossal willpower not to cross the room and grab her in my arms. I want to kiss her so badly. Do all kinds of naughty shit to her. But I rein my hormones in. Pouncing on her got me into a world of trouble the first time. I’m determined to do right by her now.
“Hey. How are you feeling today?”
“I’m good,” she says, smiling, but I still see pain hiding behind her eyes.
“I know this ceasefire is new between us, but you can talk to me about anything.”
She sits down in front of my desk, placing the file on the empty chair beside her. “About that. Some of the girls are talking.”
“I heard.” I tap my fingers off my chin as I lean back in my chair. “Let them gossip.”
“See, I have an issue with that.”
“Go on.”
“Some of them already feel like I only have this job because of who my dad is. The last thing I want is people thinking I’m only holding on to it because I’m banging the boss.”
I lean forward, hitting her with my most seductive look. The one that usually re
nders woman into a pile of goo. But, so far, Demi has surprised me with her unpredictability, so who knows what reaction I’ll get from her. “Speaking as your boss, I have zero issue with that.”
She swats my arm. “That kind of talk will get us both into trouble. And quit with the sleazy look. It’s creepy.”
I burst out laughing. She is so refreshing. So down to earth. So sweet. Way too good for me. But I’m a selfish prick, so I disregard all negative thoughts. “Just to be clear, are you opposed to the act altogether or just opposed to the notion of others thinking that?”
“Now, you’re propositioning me?” She folds her arms and glares at me.
Shit. I’m already failing at this. “Fuck. I’m fucking this up already. I told you I wasn’t good at this and… Why are you grinning?”
“Because this new you is far too easy to wind up. Man, this is gonna be so much fun.”
I purse my lips and drill her with a sharp look. “I’m still the same man. Continue talking like that and I’ll take you over my knee and spank you.” A red flush creeps over her cheeks, and she squeezes her thighs together. “Ah, I see.” I lean even closer. “I’ll add spanking to the list.”
“List?” she croaks.
I stand and round the desk, perching my butt on the edge, and I lean down, right into her face. “The list of things I’m going to do to you.”
She squirms in her seat, and her cheeks inflame. “You can’t say stuff like that to me in the workplace!”
I get all up in her face, and my eyes drift to her succulent mouth. “But it’s okay outside the office?”
“I, ah.” She shoves at my chest, pushing me back, looking completely flustered. “We need another list. Rules for professional conduct in the workplace!”
I smirk, crossing my feet at the ankles, as I run the tip of one finger up her arm. “We already have one of those. I’ll request a copy for you from the HR department.”
“I already have a copy of it, along with the no-fraternization policy.”
“Pfft.” I wave my hand in the air. “I’ll get rid of it.”
Her mouth drops open. “You can’t get rid of a company policy because you want to sleep with one of the employees!” she splutters. “You wouldn’t!”
“I can and I would.” I remove my finger from her tempting flesh and sit back in my chair, adjusting the semi in my pants before she notices. “But you’re right. We should make some rules. I don’t want this impacting you negatively. When you’re promoted, I want people to know it’s because you are skilled and you’ve earned it. Not because you’re banging the boss.” I flash her my pearly whites, and a surge of warmth spreads across my chest. The workplace is already infinitely more enjoyable now we’ve stopped being mortal enemies.
“Promotion? What promotion?” she squeaks.
“None yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Your work ethic and sharp mind haven’t gone unnoticed, and that report you presented yesterday was excellent.” We never did get around to discussing it last night, because we were too busy getting to properly know one another. She glows from my praise, and it feels good to put a smile on her face.
Goddamn it. I’m turning into a pussy already.
“I’m not in trouble?” she asks.
“In the future, run it by me first. On this occasion, if anyone asks, you had my permission to conduct that meeting in my absence.” I hold out my hand. “Hand me the file. There are a few tweaks I’d like you to make, and once I’ve approved the final version, you can distribute it to the board. I’d also like you to set a follow-up meeting with Simon Reed for sometime later this week. I need to meet with him myself before I sit down with the board to recommend your proposal.”
She radiates enthusiasm as we run through a few sections, verbally agreeing to changes, and her obvious delight in the work is a major turn-on, as is her intelligence.
She’s at the door, ready to leave, when I pluck up the courage to say what I want to say. “Don’t make plans for Sunday afternoon.”
She turns around, eyeing me suspiciously. “Why?”
“Because Abby has invited us to dinner, and I’d really like you to be there.”
She freezes on the spot, and I get up, walking to her. “I won’t force you if you really don’t want to go, but I’m not sure I can face it without you.” I’m cutting myself open and bleeding at her feet again.
“But they’re your friends. I don’t know them, and what are they going to think when they see me?”
I cup the back of her head. “That I’m a lucky bastard.”
“Charlie.” She uses her no-nonsense voice on me.
I press my lips to hers in a quick kiss, not wanting to break the rules already but needing to reassure her the best way I know how. “It will be okay, I promise. And if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave.” She’s not convinced. I can see it in her eyes. “Abby already knows about us, and if you are worried about her, you—”
“I’m not worried about her,” she interjects. “We’ve spoken, and I like her.”
My eyes almost bug out of my head. “When she was here or some other time?”
“When she was here. We cleared the air but…” She looks away.
I tilt her chin up. “But what?”
She scrunches up her nose. “I need you to be honest with me. What is happening between us, and is it because I look like her? Is she the one you want? Because I won’t be second best for anyone.”
“Come sit back down.” I take her hand and pull her over to the couch, sitting down beside her. I grip both her hands in mine, drawing a deep breath, as I prepare to pry my chest open and expose my heart. “I have feelings for you, Demi, and I love spending time with you. I want to get to know you better. I want to take you out on dates and show you that the version of me you’ve seen so far is not the man I am. I can’t promise you what’ll happen because I’ve no experience with dating, but I want to try with you, and that’s a first for me.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Yes. I do.” I gently squeeze her hands.
“Is it because I look like her? Are you still hung up on Abby?”
“I’ve always been drawn to pretty brunettes with dark eyes. You’re most definitely my type. And, yes, I’ll admit I was first attracted to you because you reminded me of Abby. But that’s not who I see when I look at you now.”
I extract my hands from hers, sliding them up the side of her neck, clasping her face in my large palms. “I see you, Demi. You are incredibly beautiful and, hands down, the most stunning woman I’ve ever known. You take my breath away.” A light blush stains her cheeks as she basks in my compliment. “But it’s much more than your looks. I see a smart girl who selflessly quit college to look after her father. I see a girl struggling to manage all the demands placed on her, but she never complains, and she never wallows in self-pity. You have amazing inner strength, and that calls to me on a deep level.”
Her eyes turn glassy, and I’m struggling to speak over the lump in my throat. “You turn up to work every day with a positive attitude and a big smile on your face even though your boss is a grumpy, sullen prick”—that earns me a radiant smile, and I’m almost blinded by the goodness she exudes from every pore—”and you work your butt off for this company even if this job isn’t the job you had aspired to. You are committed, loyal, and hardworking, and that is one of the biggest turn-ons for a guy like me.”
Her chest visibly inflates, and she clutches on to my arms.
“You’re so beautiful, inside and out, and your touch does indescribable things to me.” I press my forehead to hers, inhaling the delicate floral scent that is all her. “You have invaded my thoughts, and I’ve spent months fighting against something I now realize I stood no chance of winning.” I ease back, peering into her face, as my fingers spread out, weaving through her hair. “I only fought you so hard because I wanted you so much and I couldn’t even admit that to myself.”
“How can you be sure now?”
/> “Because I can’t imagine living a day without you in it. Even when I was being a jerk, the highlight of my day was coming into the office because you were here.” My lips kick up. “Sparring with you made me hot as hell especially when you gave it back.”
She shakes her head and rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. Her fingers touch my lips, and her expression turns solemn. “What about Abby now?”
I remove my hands from her hair, threading her fingers through mine, as I pin her with a serious look. I need her to understand this so there is no confusion going forward. “I thought, at one time, that I was in love with Abby, but I was confused, because I see now that wasn’t the truth. I wanted to keep her safe, and it was never anything more than me loving her as a friend. She had a tough upbringing. Her father was a monster who made her life unbearable at times. I got an opportunity to do something about that, and then, everything got fucked up.”
I wet my dry lips, not wanting to admit this, but I might as well lay it all out on the table. “My father trusted the wrong people, and it ultimately got him killed. But I interfered, thinking I was keeping Abby, my mom, and my sister, Lil, safe. All it did was accelerate the timeline. I watched my father murdered in cold blood, knowing I had a hand in it, and it’s killed me every day since.”
“Oh my God,” she gasps, her eyes flooding with concern as shock splays across her face. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Charlie.”
“A lot of messed-up shit happens in elite circles.” Which is something I’ll have to explain in more detail should things get serious between us, but there’s no way I’m hitting her with that right now too. “And most of it is hidden, hence why everyone believes my father died of a heart attack, because that’s what the elite wanted them to believe.”
“It’s not your fault.” She tries to reassure me, gripping my hands tight. “You didn’t pull the trigger.”
I might as well have. I think it, but I don’t say it out loud. I’m trying to convince her to give me, us, a go, and divulging my dark thoughts won’t help my cause. “All this was going on around the same time I was with Abby except I was never with her like that. We never had sex.”
Bully Me: Class of 2020 Page 10
