I refuse to back away, but this close, he smells good. Too good. My gaze travels down his strong nose to his full, pink lips. His hair is still wet and hangs long and messily over his brow with the piercing. Roan is too good-looking. It’s maddening.
“How?”
“How what?”
“How do you deal with threats?”
His head cocks slightly to one side as he studies me up close. I want to squirm under his intensity, but like a dog with a scent of meat under his nose, he’ll hunt down my weaknesses if I show any sign of them.
“With your fists?” I taunt. “You’re eighteen too, right? Fights could land your ass in jail.” He flinches at my words, so I pounce. “What would Roux do then?”
He grabs the front of my hoodie and pushes me back until my ass hits the counter. I’m crowded by his massive frame that radiates with fury. His hips press hard against mine, making a strangled breath escape me.
Seconds tick, tick, tick by.
His anger morphs into something confusing and heady—something he doesn’t seem to understand either. He roams his hot glare over my features, but rather than his eyes being filled with hate, something sparkles in them. Interest. Curiosity. Heat.
I’m imagining it.
Roan Hirsch hates me for no fucking reason.
He certainly doesn’t look seconds from kissing me.
Because I feel like a rat caught in a trap, all I can do is stare down the predator before me. I lick my lips in a nervous way that attracts his attention. Then I feel it.
Hardness.
Between us.
Me? Him? Both?
His cheeks flush with a tint of pink before he releases me and steps back, nearly stumbling over his own feet.
“There are certain things you’re not allowed to talk about to anyone. Roux being at the top of that list,” he warns, his hands folding together and hanging loosely over his crotch.
I can’t help but dart my stare there, wondering if what I felt was my imagination. “My sisters and mother are off-limits too.”
He nods without hesitation. “Our sisters are friends, and for that reason only, I’ll be fucking civil to you in this house.”
“At school?”
“At school you’re on your own, rat.”
_______________
We manage to get the kitchen cleaned up without any other conversation. When we finish, Aunt Karen comes in to check on us.
“Hollis,” she says, giving me a side hug. “Can you do me a huge favor?”
“Of course.”
“The girls need to shower and your mom is exhausted. I’d love it if you could take Roan and Roux home for me so I could help her get them off to bed.”
He stiffens and I nearly choke at her request.
“W-What? Me? Even after today in your office?” I stammer out.
Her lips press into a firm line as she bounces her attention between us. “I think you’ve managed to sort out your differences today. You’re both grown up enough to handle a little car ride. Be careful out there.”
Defeated, I give her a nod, despite the churning in my stomach. “Sure.”
Roan stalks out of the kitchen. He tells Roux to gather her stuff. Aunt Karen gives me a sympathetic look, but then she leaves me. Fuck. I grab my coat and keys, leaving out the front door without a word. The car is cold as hell, but I sit inside of it as I wait for them to come out. Snow flutters around, but nothing too heavy yet. Within minutes, Roan and Roux head out of Aunt Karen’s house toward my car. Roan is normal and nice to Roux. It’s interesting to see this side of him. He’s a mean, hateful bastard at school and to me, but to her, he’s sweet. I expect him to sit in the back with her, but once she’s buckled in, he sits up front with me with his container of leftovers in his lap.
“Where to?” I ask as I back out of the driveway.
He grunts out some directions. We’re quiet as I maneuver the dark, icy streets. As I near the apartment complex he named, he goes rigid.
“Pull over,” he barks out.
“What? We’re not there yet—”
“I said pull over now!”
I dart my eyes to the rearview mirror to see Roux’s eyes widen at her brother’s outburst. Not wanting to make this worse for her, I pull over onto the side of the road.
“Roan, it’s snowing,” I mutter.
“Yep. Roux, get your stuff. Let’s go.”
“Let me pull up farther—”
“Leave it alone, Hollis,” he snarls at me.
Not rat. Hollis.
Something in his burning expression tells me I need to back off. I just don’t understand what his deal is. Is it because he doesn’t want me to see where he lives? I’ve driven by this apartment complex before. It’s rundown and old, but nothing to be ashamed of.
“I, uh…” I pull my phone out of my pocket and hand it to him. “Can you put in your number? I can text you and when you get home safely, you can text me back, so I know you guys didn’t freeze to death or some shit.”
He eyes the phone for the longest time and then he takes it from me, his rough fingertips grazing along my palm sending a tingle of awareness shooting through me. Quickly, he enters in his number before tossing my phone back at me. While he gathers his backpack and climbs out, I text him.
Me: This is Hollis.
Feels formal as fuck, but I don’t know what else to say to the guy. He doesn’t respond, but instead busies himself with getting his sister out of the car.
“Bye, Roux,” I call out through the still open front door of the car. “See you Wednesday, I guess.”
She smiles and waves at me. “Bye, Hollis.”
Roan doesn’t even look at me. Simply slams the door shut and walks off, his arm slung over his sister’s shoulders in a protective way.
I don’t drive off.
Just watch them walk away.
Alone. In the dark. Snow billowing all around them.
Fuck if my heart doesn’t squeeze inside my chest with worry.
The asshole better text me back.
Chapter Six
Roan
I HATE THIS place, but I especially hate it at night. Most everyone leaves me the fuck alone because they know I’ll kick their ass if they don’t. But it’s dangerous for a teenaged girl.
Pulling Roux to my side, we weave our way through the parking lot, steering clear of any groups of people. This complex is a haven for drug deals. A few guys call out to me. I acknowledge them with a head nod, but don’t further engage.
“Charlotte is my best friend,” Roux chirps happily. “We’re going to have slumber parties every weekend. She said her mom will take us roller skating. Did you know she used to have a python, but she had to leave it with her dad when she moved?”
I can’t help but smile as Roux rattles on. She hasn’t been this excited in God knows how long. Truth is, Roux has a hard time at life. Her mom is worthless. Her dad is doing life in prison for shooting and killing three men during a bar fight. And the kids at school are fucking monsters to her. All she has is me.
And now Charlotte.
It makes me uneasy because I know how kids can be. Especially the pretty popular ones. They’re vicious and mean. What happens if Charlotte realizes Roux doesn’t have any friends? Will she leave her behind for the cool kids?
That thought angers me.
I swallow it down, though, and focus on getting up to the third floor in one piece. Several assholes glower at me like they might start some shit, but I crack my neck and eyeball them back. In the end, they leave us alone. As we walk up to our apartment, I notice smoke sliding out from underneath the door.
What the fuck?
I touch the handle, but it’s cold.
“Hold this,” I tell Roux, passing off the leftovers as I unlock the door.
With the turn of the knob, I open the door and push it open. Thick, gray smoke billows out.
“Stay here,” I instruct as I rush in. “Mom? Alejandro?”
Nothing.
They’re not home.
I choke and wave my hand in the air as I make my way into the kitchen. A fucking pot of macaroni is cooking, but the water has long since evaporated. It’s charred to black and smoking. With a growl, I turn off the stove and then toss the pot into the sink. Once I fill it with water, I open a couple of windows and head back to Roux.
“Is our apartment on fire?” she squeaks.
I scrub my palm down my face, fighting exhaustion. “No, but it’s smoky. I’m going to call Mike and have him come check it out for us. Make sure we can sleep here tonight.”
Roux sits down on the dirty carpet and pulls out one of her novels. While she reads, I call one of my mom’s few ex-boyfriends who was worth a damn. Of course he smartened up and moved on. It just sucked we got left behind too.
“This is Mike.”
“Hey, man,” I grunt out. “How busy are you tonight?”
“Never too busy for you or Roux.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Great. So, uh, Mom or Alejandro left something on the stove. The apartment is filled with smoke—”
“Don’t go inside. I’m on my way,” he says, immediately going into fireman mode.
“I already did. Got the stove turned off and the pot in water. I opened a couple of windows.”
“That was dangerous, Roan,” he chides. “You could have been exposed to toxic smoke.”
“I know, I know,” I grumble. “You don’t have to bring the firetruck—”
My words are cut off by the wail of a siren on his end.
So much for that.
As I wait, I notice my phone has been blowing up in my pocket. I wouldn’t even have a phone—neither would Terrence or Jordy for that matter—if it weren’t for Cal getting his dad to put us on their family plan. We pay him ten bucks a month each for the added lines. Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without the added security of being able to call someone like Ms. Frazier if I need help with Roux or when I need a ride from one of my boys.
Unknown Number: This is Hollis.
I add the number in as “Rat,” and it changes all the texts from him, which are a lot.
Rat: Are you safe?
Rat: Do I need to come get you guys?
Rat: I know you hate me, but just reply, okay?
Rat: You don’t have to be a dick about it.
With a sigh, I reply.
Me: We’re fine. Get off my nuts, rat.
The dots move and stop. Move and stop. I smile, wondering what sort of flustered look he has on his face right now.
Rat: Do you need a ride to school tomorrow?
Fuck no. The whole reason I had him drop us off was so he didn’t get his car jacked by some thug. You can’t ride around in a car like his in my neighborhood. It’s a good way to put a target on your back. And if the fuckers who live at this apartment complex with us thought we had money, they might not let Roux and I just walk on by.
Me: I said back the fuck off. You’re not my girlfriend, though you do have dick sucking lips.
I’m being a mean bastard, but I don’t care. He needs to leave me the fuck alone. We’re not friends. Just because Ms. Frazier and I have our deal, it doesn’t mean he gets to saunter into my life and be a part of it.
Rat: Okay.
I’d expected fire back from him. More angry words. Maybe even no response at all. Anything other than okay. Such a defeated answer. I hate how guilt settles all around me like the smoke from the apartment—choking and tainting me.
The moment I hear the sirens, I tuck my phone away and let relief flood through me. Maybe they can clear us to go inside and then I can finally relax. It’s been a helluva long day.
Minutes later, three firemen show up. Mike, tall and burly, walks over to us. The other two firemen head into the apartment while he squats in front of where we’re sitting.
“Hey, kiddos. How’s it going?” He smiles at Roux. “Where’s your mom?”
I scoff at his question. “Who the fuck knows.”
His lips thin out and he glances down the hallway. “She at Popper’s?”
Popper’s. The topless bar down the street. Fucking gross.
“If she was, Alejandro would be home. They’re both out.” When Mom’s not flashing her tits for money, she’s laid up in bed with Alejandro. If they’re both gone, that means they’re off getting drugs together.
“I should call this in to CPS.”
I shoot him a nasty glare. “I’m eighteen, Mike. I’m looking after Roux. For fuck’s sake, don’t do that to me.”
He softens and sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I just want to know who looks out for you, Roan. Sure as hell not your momma.” When I don’t respond, he stands. “I’ll check it out. I think you should be fine to stay, though I wish you wouldn’t.”
“If we can’t stay, I’ll call Cal’s dad,” I assure him, but it’s a lie. I only call Cal’s dad when I’ve called everyone else—Ms. Frazier, Jordy, Cal, and Terrence.
He stares at me long enough to make me fidget, and then he walks into the apartment.
“I’m tired,” Roux says. “When can we go to bed?”
“Won’t be long,” I assure her, hugging her to my side. “What movie are we watching tonight? The Goonies sounds good.”
“Not that one again!” she says, giggling. “We should watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.”
“Dude,” I playfully grumble. “We’ve watched that one like seventeen times this month alone. Nope. Not happening.” We both know it’s happening. I can recite that damn movie by heart now.
“Maybe Hollis can watch The Goonies with you and Charlotte can watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before with me at our slumber party.”
I freeze at her words. There’s no way in hell I’m sleeping over at Hollis’s house. But would I really let Roux go without me? I take her everywhere. Even to Campfire Chaos. Thank fuck Cal’s mom loves her like a granddaughter and looks after her on Friday nights. It gives me one night of social freedom.
“We’ll see.”
“That wasn’t a no.”
“It wasn’t a yes either, twerp.”
Our playful banter is cut short when Mike and his guys step back into the hallway.
“All’s clear, but leave the windows open until bed,” Mike instructs. “I want an update later. Text me.”
He hugs us both and then the three of them leave. Mike was like the dad we should have had. Instead of the one who left us eight years ago in the back of a squad car and never came back. Too bad Mom couldn’t get her shit together to keep him.
“Ew,” Roux complains. “It stinks.”
“Nah, you stink worse,” I tease. “Grab a shower and we’ll watch the movie.”
As she scampers off, I set to cleaning up the mess Alejandro and Mom left. There are clothes all over the living room floor, which is fucking disgusting. Underwear. A bra. Condom wrapper. I don’t want Roux seeing that shit, so with mounting frustration, I clean it all up. When I find a burnt-up spoon barely kicked under the old ratty sofa, I lose it.
What the fuck?
Heroin?
I’m glad Mike and the guys didn’t see this. He would’ve sure as fuck called CPS. I speed clean the rest of the apartment, including the charred pot, before closing the windows that are blowing in chilly air. By the time I make it to our bedroom, I’m tired as hell. I’m glad I already showered at Ms. Frazier’s.
“The Hunger Games,” I state as I walk into the room, flicking off the lights. “You never cease to surprise me, kid.”
“I figured we needed something different.” She curls up on her twin bed, hugging her pillow to her.
I kick off my shoes and sprawl out on my bed. “You okay, Roux?”
“Yeah. You?”
“I’m good.” I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m gonna get us out of here one day.”
“I know.”
“Don’t ever forget.”
“Never.”
_______________
&nbs
p; I wake to laughing. Loud and high-pitched. Mom. She’s fucked up from the sound of it. Music blares from the living room. God, I fucking hate her sometimes. Yawning, I roll over and grab my phone.
Four sixteen.
What is wrong with these people?
I should have just gone over to Cal’s. David, Cal’s dad, would have given me hell about my mom and shit, but he would’ve let us stay. Now they’re going to wake up Roux and she’s already struggling in school enough as it is without losing sleep on top of it all. I’m just about to tell them to shut the fuck up when the door flings open. A massive body fills the doorway.
Alejandro.
I tense up, sitting up in the bed.
“Where’s Roux?” he slurs.
I’m on my feet in the next instant. “Get the fuck out of our room.”
“Don’t talk to me like that, shitstain.” He laughs, swaying in the doorway. “Roux and I are gonna play a game.”
“You’re not playing shit with Roux.” I storm around her bed and shove him into the hallway. “Stay the fuck away from my sister.”
Alejandro is bigger than me and is always packing heat, but he’s so damn wasted all the time he’s no match for my youth. He recovers and swings at me. I get clipped on my cheekbone by his fist, but I dodge most of it. Slinging my elbow up, I nail him in the nose. He makes a groaning sound and then stumbles back to the other bedroom he shares with Mom. I hear her fussing over him, which pisses me off.
“Tell your dickhead boyfriend to stay the fuck away from us, Mom.”
I don’t wait for an answer. I stalk into the living room to unplug all the shit making noise. An empty Tupperware container that once held lasagna sits on the coffee table where Alejandro and Mom must have dug in. That small thing sets me off more than anything that’s transpired tonight. They know I bring that shit home for Roux and they don’t care. Selfish motherfuckers. I grind my teeth all the way back to our room. As soon as I get the door closed, I drag our dresser over to it to keep that fucker out.
Eventually, I fall back into bed, exhausted as hell. I’m just drifting to sleep when I hear Mom’s loud ass moans and the headboard hitting the wall.
Anger bleeds from me and defeat consumes me in the darkness.
Why is life so fucking hard?
Bully Me: Class of 2020 Page 70
