Looking tense, he studied her. That muscle in his jaw seemed to work double time. Then he blurted. “Marry me.”
“What?”
“If you marry me, it will solve all our problems. You can move in. The gossip with stop. The tension between our two families will ease.”
“First, that’s doubtful. Secondly, that won’t help my sisters and brothers.”
“Fine. I’ll . . . I’ll move into your house.”
The idea of the wealthy, assured Lukas Kinsinger living in their ramshackle home and sharing the bathroom with her twin brothers was laughable. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Lukas. Stop.”
“I’m being serious.”
“I am, too. Even . . . Even if we married . . . you couldn’t live on my family’s farm.”
“Why not? Aaron is planning to move to Hope’s family farm.” He took a breath. “If I did that, I could take care of you, and your family’s financial situation would ease.”
She was a grown woman. She’d lived most of her life taking care of her siblings and trying to be everything to everyone. So why did the idea of Lukas taking care of her sound so appealing? Was she so needy? Or was it because she would be Lukas’s wife and he would be hers forever?
Embarrassed by the direction of her thoughts, she brushed off his words. “Lukas, you seem to forget that we would be married. To each other. For life.”
“And what is wrong with that?” His voice was soft. Tender, even.
At the moment, she wasn’t so sure. Except, oh yeah. He didn’t love her.
Forcing herself to look cool and collected, she said, “Everything is wrong with that, Lukas. People don’t get married for the reasons you are stating.”
“Of course they do.”
Feeling a bit like a broken record, she uttered, “Lukas, stop.”
He didn’t. Instead, he stepped closer, invading her space, invading her will. “Oh, yes. I forgot. Marriage is the product of romance and rainbows. Puppies. Kittens.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied it.” Standing closer, close enough that she could smell the soap on his skin, he loomed over her. “But even though you have all the answers, you are forgetting that a marriage is also an agreement between two parties.” Reaching out, he took one of her hands and pressed his palms on either side of it. “You know our grandparents surely didn’t marry just for love. They were practical people.”
She supposed that was true. When she was a little girl, she remembered her grandmommi Mary sharing how she and Dawdi had been set up by their parents. In a weird, convoluted way, Lukas’s reasoning made sense. She could understand why he thought a marriage based on need instead of love could work.
But that didn’t mean she agreed with him. “I am not going to marry you to save my body from being bruised by my grieving bruder, Lukas.”
His gray eyes, which had looked as cloudy as dawn on a spring day, now looked as hard as flint. “I am not joking, Darla. Something needs to be done.”
“Lukas, I am grateful for your offer. You honor me,” she added, meaning every word. “But a quick wedding between us is not the thing to do. When things get better with Aaron, you will regret your offer and resent my acceptance. We both know that.”
“Think about it, Darla. Just think about it.”
What he didn’t realize was that there was a secret part of her that was actually considering it. He was her childhood crush. He was her best friend. He was the man she’d mooned over when she was a teenager and who could still make her breath catch now.
And, well, it was so tempting to allow him to protect her. She was tired. She’d love nothing better than to lean on him. To give him her burdens and simply be. To hold his hand. To take comfort in his arms. And, yes, to feel his lips on hers. To kiss him.
She knew these thoughts weren’t right. She knew she wasn’t supposed to think about any of it, and most especially not with a man whom her family now viewed as their enemy.
“Lukas, I cannot say yes to you.” Not for the reasons he gave, anyway.
“You think a union between the two of us would be so terrible?”
She didn’t. That was part of the problem, of course. Because of that, she lied. “I do.”
Hurt filled his gaze. “I see.”
Even though she knew she was doing the right thing for both of them, she felt so very bad. Rejecting him felt wrong. “I’m glad you do,” she replied. Her voice was stiff.
“That’s all you have to say?”
“There is nothing else to say.” That, at least, was the truth. The rest of her felt so jumbled and confused, she knew nothing she could say would make a bit of sense.
“You know what? You are right,” he replied, his voice as harsh and grating as sandpaper across her skin. “If that is the most you have to say, it’s better if we say nothing at all.”
“Lukas, I am sorry.”
“I am, too. Let’s forget this ever happened. And if you can, try and forgive me for wanting to look out for you. Especially since I’m still going to speak to your bruder tonight. I’d rather have you mad at me than be hurt again. What he is doing ain’t right, Darla, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t do it again,” he added over his shoulder before striding out the door.
Darla tried to summon the courage to run after him, but she couldn’t. He was right. Aaron had to stop. Especially because she’d never be able to live with herself if he started hurting her sisters or the twins.
As she stared at the shut door, she realized that another part of her life had just ended. No longer was she going to be able to depend on Lukas Kinsinger to be her friend and confidant. She was going to have to stop daydreaming about the man and secretly harboring a childhood crush.
Things between them had changed, and most likely for the better, too.
It was simply too bad that doing the right thing left her feeling even more alone than ever before. She hadn’t known such a thing was possible.
Feeling bereft, Darla slumped against the counter, and peered through the plate-glass window, unable to help herself from watching Lukas walk across the street and blend in with the smattering of pedestrians on the sidewalk.
It seemed he was now completely out of her life—because she had pushed him away.
Chapter 14
Lukas left for the Kurtz house three hours after he saw Darla. He’d gone home after his visit to the post office and checked on Amelia. She’d been exhausted after working all day on everyone’s laundry. Lukas had felt so bad for her, he’d fed and watered the animals, then peeled potatoes and chopped vegetables for their supper. Though Amelia had protested that cooking supper was her job, not his, Lukas had been grateful for the mindless activity.
The truth was that he’d been smarting from Darla’s rejection. He had needed time to mentally prepare himself for what he wanted to say to Aaron. For a moment, he’d even considered asking Levi to come with him to the Kurtz house, but he’d immediately disregarded that idea. Though Levi would certainly stand up with him, and be a good support, Lukas feared that his younger brother’s animosity toward Aaron for John’s role in the mill fire would only make things worse.
There was another reason, too. Lukas cared about Darla. Cared about her a lot. So much so that he didn’t want another man solving her problems. He’d taken on the role of her defender and he wanted to be the one to make things right.
Therefore, he walked to the Kurtz house on his own, the vision of Darla’s swollen and bruised wrist as clear in his mind as the wildflowers decorating the side of the road.
When he was halfway up the drive, the front door opened and Patsy and Maisie came out, along with one of the twins. He’d never had much luck differentiating between Samuel and Evan, though if he had to take a guess, he thought he was likely staring at Evan.
Maybe it was the forceful way he was walking or maybe they simply didn’t get a lot of callers, but whatever the reason, the three of them stood in a row at t
he porch’s battered white railing and watched him approach.
“Lukas? Everything okay?” Patsy called out when he was just a few yards away.
He didn’t know how to answer that. Instead, he kept walking, silently rehearsing the words he intended to say to Aaron.
“Darla’s inside her room,” Maisie said. “Want me to go get her?”
“Not this time.”
“Why are you here, then?” the boy asked.
“I need to speak to Aaron. Now, if you please,” he added as he came to a stop at the bottom of the steps.
The three Kurtzes looked at one another. From where Lukas was standing, he could see various expressions of worry lighting their eyes.
“I . . . I don’t know if he’s here,” Patsy sputtered at last. “You need me to take a message?”
He knew Patsy was lying, but instead of arguing, he nodded. “If he ain’t here, I’ll wait.”
Looking down at him, Patsy frowned. “You sure? It could be a while.”
“I’ve got time.”
The boy looked perplexed. After exchanging a glance with Patsy, he went inside. Lukas wondered if he was going to speak to Aaron.
“You want a glass of water, Lukas?” Maisie asked.
“Nee. I’m good. I’ll, uh, have a seat here on the steps and wait,” he added, taking care not to ask permission.
To his surprise, instead of arguing or leaving the porch, Patsy walked over and sat down a few steps above him. Seconds later, Maisie hesitantly joined them.
“What did Aaron do?” Patsy asked after they sat in silence for a few minutes.
“I’d rather not discuss it with you. No offense, Patsy.”
“You look upset, Luke,” Maisie said.
Unable to help himself, Lukas eyed her carefully, checking for signs of worry or anxiousness. He already hated the thought of Aaron harming Darla, but to see that Maisie might have already been learning to fear a man’s anger made him feel physically ill. Luckily, however, the little girl didn’t look frightened, only curious.
“I’m upset, but not at you, May,” he said. “I simply need to talk to your bruder for a few minutes.”
“Is this about the mill?” Patsy asked.
“Nee.”
“Then it must be Darla.”
With effort, Lukas remained silent.
“Is Darla all right?” Maisie asked. “When she got home, she didn’t try to help me with my homework like she usually does. She just went straight to her room.”
Lukas hated that. Hated that she had no one to lean on in her family.
“I saw her earlier,” he bit out. He didn’t want to ignore the girl’s question but it was almost impossible for him to reassure her about Darla’s state. All he could imagine was her hurting at night when she lay down to sleep. Or worse, having to guard herself against Aaron.
They heard a shuffle from the other side of the screen door, then it swung open with a squeak. Heavy footsteps marked Aaron’s appearance.
Maisie brightened. “Oh, look! Aaron was here after all.”
“So it would seem,” Lukas said as he got to his feet.
Patsy stood up as well, but she remained silent.
Aaron stared at him, his arms folded across his chest. “Heard you came over to talk to me?”
“I did.” Eyeing him carefully, Lukas was vaguely surprised to see that Aaron looked much the same. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Maybe more angry? Maybe bigger? “I need to speak with you in private.”
Aaron’s posture stiffened, but otherwise he remained still. “Why?”
“I’d rather speak about that when we are alone.”
Aaron’s eyes flashed. “Patsy and Maisie, go on inside.”
Though Maisie obeyed immediately, Patsy stared at Lukas with hope in her eyes. “I think I would rather hear what Lukas Kinsinger has to say.”
“Stay or go.” Aaron shrugged. “Makes no difference to me.”
Lukas was tempted to argue, but then he figured there really was no point. Maybe it would be better if Patsy heard what he had to say, too. If she was getting hurt, she would know she wasn’t alone. Or at the very least, she would know that he was determined to help her.
After Maisie went inside and closed the door, Lukas looked Aaron directly in the eye. “I visited Darla today at the post office.”
“Yeah? So?”
“I saw her wrist. I saw where you grabbed her.”
After a momentary flash of pain entered his eyes, Aaron exhaled. “That’s what your visit is about?” His voice was full of bluster. “You’re upset because I gripped my sister’s arm a little too tightly?” He smirked. “Don’t you have anything better to do? Or are you simply looking for a reason to bother us?”
“This wasn’t a case of you gripping her too tight, though I fail to understand why you would be gripping her in the first place. You hurt her. On purpose.”
“She is fine.”
“She is not. I’ve told you that this needs to stop. Last time I saw her bruises, I let her handle it, but it’s obvious that didn’t work.” Looking at Aaron directly in the eye, he said, “I’ve decided to get involved. Listen to me, and listen to me good, Aaron. You need to keep your distance from her from now on.”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “She’s my sister. I ain’t gonna keep my distance.” He faced Lukas directly so they were standing chest to chest. “Now you listen to me. You need to stop interfering in our lives. I don’t work for you no longer. I’ve also forbid Darla to see you. So she ain’t your business, neither. Get off our property.”
Lukas noticed that Patsy hadn’t said a word. Turning to her, he said quietly, “Has he hurt you, too?”
Seconds passed. Then, to Lukas’s surprise, she nodded. “Jah. But only once.”
Aaron clenched his fists. “Enough, Patsy.”
Patsy looked at Lukas for a long moment before turning to her brother. “I saw you grab her wrist in the kitchen.”
“It was an accident,” Aaron mumbled. “She’ll be all right.”
After pursing her lips together, she said, “Lukas, tell me. How did you find out about her wrist?”
“I saw it when she was reaching for something. It’s swollen. You could have broken it, Aaron.”
Patsy stared at him hard. “Is . . . Is that what Darla said?”
“Nee. She tried to excuse you, Aaron,” Lukas said, not even attempting to hide his derision. “I felt bad for her, I did. She was embarrassed about her bruises, though I can’t imagine why she’d ever be embarrassed to show me. But then she went and asked me to ignore her marks. Her pain.” He exhaled, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “But I couldn’t. I care about her. And I care about the rest of you.” Studying the man standing across from him, who was almost his match in girth and height, Lukas said, “Have you grabbed Maisie like that? Or Gretel?”
“I am in charge of this family. Because of your mill, I have no father.”
“What about Hope? Have you hurt her?”
Pure pain entered his eyes. “Of course not.”
“Only your sisters.”
“Like I said—”
Lukas couldn’t listen to another meaningless excuse. “You try to explain. Because of your inability to care for your sister, she is bruised.” He stepped closer. “I’m telling you now, Aaron, it needs to stop. I don’t know what happened to you. Right now I don’t care. But you are going to need to figure out a different way to handle yourself.”
He flinched.
And with that flinch, Lukas knew he’d at last hit a nerve. “Talk to someone. Talk to the preacher. Meet with the bishop. Chop wood, go for walks. I don’t know. But stop taking out your grief and frustration on the people you love.”
Aaron clenched his fists, looking prepared to lash out at Lukas. But then he slumped. “What’s happened to me?” he whispered before turning away and walking toward the barn.
When he was out of sight, Patsy reached out to Lukas. Curling her hand around his elbow, sh
e squeezed, then stepped forward and hugged him. “Thank you for caring,” she said at last. “I knew Aaron was taking out the worst of his anger on Darla, but not to that extent,” she said when she stepped away.
“He and I might not be friends, and we might never get past what happened at the mill, but I couldn’t sit by and not do or say anything, Patsy.” Because he felt that she was finally being honest with him, he uttered, “I even offered to marry Darla as soon as possible.”
“You want to marry her?”
“I want her safe. I can’t stand the idea of her being at Aaron’s mercy. I can’t stand the thought of her getting hurt again.”
“Because you love her.”
Maybe that was the reason. Maybe he always had loved Darla. Or maybe it was because he couldn’t stand the thought of little Maisie one day wearing the same marks. Or perhaps it was because the whole family seemed lost, and in spite of knowing that it wasn’t his family’s fault, he still felt that he had to do something.
But if he admitted any of that, it would be too much. So he shrugged. “Because I care.”
“Sometimes caring is enough.”
He shrugged. “I meant what I said, Patsy. Your brother needs to grow up and learn some self-control. If this happens again, I’ll walk Aaron to the bishop myself, after I take Darla to my house. If you need me, just ask.”
“You mean that, don’t you?”
“Of course. I promise, if any of you need me, just ask. Ask and I will help. No matter what time it is. No matter what else I’m doing.”
“Danke”. She looked about to say more, then stilled.
When he turned, he saw who had caught her attention. And then he prepared himself to take part in another verbal battle.
Only this one would likely be far harder.
Chapter 15
He’d kept his word.
Lukas had come over and talked to Aaron. He hadn’t lost his temper and he hadn’t hurt anyone. He’d simply been the man Darla had always known him to be—stalwart, firm, impressive.
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